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Phrases my tiny brain decides to say while I’m trying to concentrate:

• “I cant STAND these bitches!”

• “Wig!”

• *literal silence*

• *loud ass shout*

• “You are my dad (YOURE MY DAD BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE)”

• *funny joke making me laugh at random times around people who will later say I’m nuts*

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Free Online Language Courses

Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos.  You can always check the audit course or no certificate option so that you can learn for free.

American Sign Language

ASL University

Sign Language Structure, Learning, and Change

Arabic

Arabic Without Walls

Madinah Arabic

Moroccan Arabic

Armenian

Depi Hayk

Bengali

Learn Bangla (Register to see course)

Catalan

Parla.Cat

Speak Cat

Chinese (Mandarin)

Beginner

Chinese for Beginners

Chinese Characters for Beginners

Chinese for HSK 1

Chinese for HSK 2

Chinese for HSK 3 I & II

Chinese for HSK 4

Chinese for HSK 5

Mandarin Chinese Level I

Mandarin Chinese Essentials

Mandarin Chinese for Business

More Chinese for Beginners

Start Talking Mandarin Chinese

UT Gateway to Chinese

Intermediate

Intermediate Business Chinese

Intermediate Chinese Grammar

Mandarin for Intermediate Learners I

Dutch

Introduction to Dutch

English

Online Courses here

Resources Here

Faroese

Faroese Course

Finnish

A Taste of Finnish

French

Beginner

AP French Language and Culture

Elementary French I & II

Français Interactif

Vivre en France - A1

Vivre en France- A2

Intermediate & Advanced

French Intermediate course B1-B2

Passe-Partout

Travailler en France A2-B1                    

Vivre en France - B1  

German

Beginner

Deutsch im Blick

German Project

German at Work

Goethe Institute

Gwich’in

Introduction to Gwich’in Language

Hebrew

Biblical Hebrew

UT Austin

Hindi

A Door into Hindi

Virtual Hindi

Icelandic

Icelandic 1-5

Indonesian

Learn Indonesian

Irish

Irish 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107

Italian

Beginner

Beginner’s Italian I

Introduction to Italian

Intermediate & Advanced

AP Italian Language and Culture

Intermediate Italian I

Advanced Italian I

Japanese

Genki

Japanese JOSHU

Japanese Pronunciation

Marugoto Courses

Tufs JpLang

Korean

Beginner

First Step Korean

How to Study Korean

Introduction to Korean

Learn to Speak Korean

Pathway to Spoken Korean

Intermediate

Intermediate Korean

Norwegian

Introduction to Norwegian I, Norwegian II

Norwegian on the Web

Persian

Easy Persian

PersianDee

Polish

Online Course

Portuguese

Pluralidades em Português Brasileiro

Russian

Beginner

A1 Course

I speak Russian

Intermediate

B1 Course

B1+ Course

B2.1 Course

B2.2 Course

Spanish

Beginner

AP Spanish Language & Culture

Basic Spanish I, Spanish II

Spanish for beginners  

Spanish for Beginners 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Spanish Vocabulary

Advanced

Corrección, Estilo y Variaciones 

Leer a Macondo

Swahili

Online Course

Turkish

Online Course

Ukrainian

Read Ukrainian

Speak Ukrainian

Welsh

Beginner’s Welsh

Discovering Wales

Yoruba

Yorùbá Yé Mi

Multiple Languages

Ancient Languages

More Language Learning Resources & Websites!

Last updated: May 2019

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Lambert is so close to loosing it - not because of what Jaskier said, but because Geralt is blushing like a maiden and if he thinks they didn’t know, if Geralt thinks they don’t know they do more than holding hands; if he thought they were S U B T L E, he’s gonna loose it- geralt: oh no, what untoward language they can’t know we… *blushes* make love- lambert: you two FUCK like feral cats in heat and we can HEAR you MEWLING through the whole keep!!

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I want to kill.

‘it’s biology,’ geralt thinks as his body sings at jaskier’s touch. the way his heart beats faster, his lungs stutter, his stomach roils. ‘just biology.’ but even geralt cannot deny the way his tongue has lost it’s edge or how he saves the best cut of meat for jaskier or his slow appreciation of the lute. it eats at him. this human part of him overwhelming his better senses. he ignores it at first, convinced it will abate on it’s own with time. he only. feels. this way because jaskier is the first human to stick by his side for so long. soon enough, jaskier will bow to his human nature and bore of him or catch him coming down from potions, eyes pitch and skin sallow and thin. he’ll run and never return and geralt will be rid of the fluttering he feels under his ribs.

but jaskier doesn’t run. he doesn’t bore of the witcher life. every time they separate, geralt thinks it’s the last. but jaskier always finds him. in cities, in towns, in the middle of the forest while fishing for djinn in a lake. jaskier always comes back. always feels like home. 

geralt thinks it was the fifth year he noticed the feelings for what they were. the seventh that he fully accepted them. it was rounding the tenth when he decided to do something about them. 

geralt has seen the way jaskier fucks. seen it. heard it. in one case, felt it rattle against his back through the thin walls of the inn. he knows jaskier has no preference of gender or status. knows that all you need to get jaskier into bed are good looks and a nod. objectively, geralt knows he fits the first category. he remembers the heated looks jaskier threw his way the first few years they traveled together. all that’s left is geralt’s courage. 

it takes him three months. three months of aborted touches. three months of half formed words. three months of confessions lodged in his throat, choking him soundly. weighing him down to the spot and anchoring his legs to the earth.

but on the day he and jaskier are meant to part for the winter, geralt finds his courage. this time his hand connects with jaskier’s. his lungs let out air. his lips form the words. his tongue pushes out sounds. he tells jaskier. tells him how he feels like home. how he’s all he thinks about when they’re apart. how he longs for spring to reunite them after a barren winter. 

geralt asks him to stay. to travel with him to kaer morhen and winter with him. how he will introduce jaskier to his brothers, his home. geralt feels so light. his feet barely touch the ground. ten years of stolen glances. ten years of what ifs. and now he’s leaving it all behind. 

but jaskier looks down. takes a step back. tightens the straps to his pack. he looks up and geralt knows. his brow is furrowed, eyes focused just above his shoulder like he can’t even look at geralt. his lips thin as they push together. jaskier opens his mouth.

“don’t. please.”

“i’m sorry geralt.”

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Hood-Winking Oil:

For Employment in Acts of Malefic Magic

—

This recipe entails the steps necessary for the creation of an oil meant to direct and magnify acts of Hood-Winking—a term used in the Wending Way to specifically denote things like Hexing and Cursing.

On the first night of the Waning Gibbous Moon, and in the planetary hour of Mars, combine together in a sealable vessel:

1 part Cubebs,

2 parts Black Mustard Seeds,

2 parts Stinging Nettle,

1 part Hemlock Flowers,

1 part Snakeskin,

3 parts Thorns of the Acacia, Honey Locust, and/or Sloe trees.

1 hair of a Black Cat or Black Dog (It’s vital that the hair is obtained without bothering or harming the animal, as doing so will automatically forfeit the effectiveness of the oil and cause any Hood-Winking it’s used for to backfire on the caster.)

& 13 parts Castor Oil.

Seal the concoction and leave it to steep, tucked within some form of bramble patch, and recite over it:

“In the name of the Serpent—

Cardinal of the East,

Emissary of the Fire,

and Scarlet Warden of the Bower—

I ask you to empower and to ratify this Oil.

By the Burning Embers of your Scales,

So be it.”

On the the Zenith-Day of the Dark Moon cycle, reopen the vessel and strain the contents of the mixture, before bottling the oil and storing it for later use in a shady spot. Retain the materials from the oil, and take them to a crossroads, on a Tuesday Night, and bury them. Give thanks, aloud, to an entity closely associated with Liminality, Boundaries, and Wentz-Ways, give an offering of Libations, and leave the burial without looking back.

Thereafter, the oil can be utilized for the anointing and imbuing of candles and other tools meant for use in Hood-Winking rites.

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Still the best vine

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It warms my heart that Robert Irwin is the same goofball his father was

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Their families were the ones doing the land stealing and killing of native peoples.

sometimes I see shiny things like this 

or this

and instead of admiring them the ghosts of my protestant ancestors possess me and I think shit like ‘well that’s just a little too much’

my ancestor Pain Wilhelmina Smith wacks a stick around my brain like ‘you like that Catholic shit? you gonna pay indulgences for that, huh? punk? get yee to a single room log cabin and PRAY’

anyway, my room is absolutely bare and buying a piece of clothing for over 20 dollars pains me

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Reblog the 500,000 dollar written check from Seto Kaiba and money will come your way.

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Reblog this and money will be entering your life this week