roogerriffic

[roogerriffic]

Just an announcement....

So for the time being I won't be continuing the currently unfinished stories on both here and @thescrewedrooger

The reason behind this is because my life crumbled away right in front of me over the past couple of months, I'm slowly getting myself back on track, still a long way to go..... HOWEVER..... I WILL BE WORKING ON A STORY BASING IT ON HAS GONE. Of course one of the characters will be Seth...

I need an outlet for everything that has gone on, I can't get right into the other stories with my head the way it is. I hope this is a win/win situation. It helps me get everything out and with any luck you will enjoy reading.

[roogerriffic]

So i'm making a comeback!

As the title suggests, i have decided to make a comeback. I am in the process of writing chapter 27 of Love to Hate. I will post once I'm done!

[roogerriffic]

Why do people stop commenting on fics if they’re more than a week or two old? Please comment on old fics. Tell me you like my one shot from 2014. Tell me you like my old multi-chap I finished in 2016 that I spent a year writing. I will be fucking thrilled.

[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 8

The next morning, it’s 7am, I am sitting at the table eating breakfast. Seth walks in still half asleep.

I say cheerily “Good morning”

He comments “You’re up early”

I tell him “I have a lot planned for today”

He asks “Oh ok, what do you have planned?”

I explain “Well, first thing, I am going to try and get my old job back, then I have to look for a place to live. The sooner I get this out of the way, the more time I have to enjoy the rest of my time here”

He says “Seems logical”

I say “I thought so too”

He blurts out “What if you didn’t have to find a place?”

I knew where he was going with this, but I ask the question anyways “What do you mean?”

He explains “You can live with me”

I hesitate “I dunno Seth”

He says “At least think about it, we don’t have to sleep in the same bed, we can still take our time with things, it will be the same arrangements as now. There’s no pressure, it’s just a thought. You don’t have to go looking for a place. If you decide you still want to look for your own place, I won’t stop you”

I reply “Ok, I will think about it”

He asks jokingly “Have you thought about it yet?”

I laugh “You idiot”

1 hour later I get to the station. I walk through the doors, my old boss notices me straight away

“Alina, I thought you moved to Australia”

I reply “I have, I am back here for holidays”

He asks “I’m glad you stopped by, I was only wondering the other day how you were going”

I tell him “I am going well. I have to admit, there is a reason why I am back here”

He asks “What can I do for you?”

I tell him “I have plans to move back to L.A. Part of the reason why I’m on holidays is to get everything organised for when I make the move. I was hoping for my job back”

He looks shocked first then his expression softens “I would love to have you a part of the team again. Although I do feel I have to mention that Brooke is still here, will that cause problems?”

I reply “It won’t cause any problems. I will be honest and say I do not want to be partnered with her”

He asks “Ok, that’s fine, when are you looking to make the move?”

I answer “In about 2 months. I will have to give the station where I am now 4 weeks notice. I am going to give my notice when I get back”

He asks “I will make arrangements. I will give you my number so you can keep in touch, when you have a definite date in mind, let me know”

He writes his number down on a torn bit of paper. I save it in my phone straight away because I have a tendency to lose stuff like that.

I say “Thankyou so much, Sir. I really appreciate this”

He smiles “You are welcome. I better get back to my office now, I have a mountain of paperwork to get through. Keep in touch”

I tell him “I will keep in touch. I will see you on my first day back”

He says “Will do”

I turn and start walking out the door. That’s one thing taken care of. Before I get on with looking for a place, I decide to put more thought into Seth’s suggestion. At first I thought it was a crazy idea, but the more I think of it, the more logical it seems. I know I have only been back in L.A for 2 days, but things are going great with the living arrangements so far, I have settled in nicely and I still have my own space. I am leaning towards of agreeing to live with him. Back at Seth’s place, I’m searching all the rental properties online just in case I decide to get my own place. There’s quite a few on the listings within my budget, however, the only way I am going to be able to get something is if I put in an application soon, but if I get it, it will mean I am paying rent while I’m not living there. It will be about 2 months I will be paying without living there. I don’t really want to do that, but I don’t want to miss the opportunity either, I guess I just have to hurry up and make my mind up about living with Seth. It’s lunch time, I fix myself something to eat then sit down at the dining table to eat. I hear the front door being unlocked. I know its Seth, but I thought he was at work.

He bends down behind me and plants a kiss on my cheek. He smiles “Hey”

I smile “Hey, I thought you were going to be at work all day”

He says “Well, I have to go back, I was hoping you would come back with me”

In shock I say “Wait. What? Say that again”

He asks looking confused “Is that a bad thing is it? I didn’t think it was such a big deal”

I calm down “I guess it isn’t. Have you told everyone about us?”

He asks “Is it a bad thing if I have? I know that they won’t let it slip”

I sigh “I wish you had told me of your plans to tell everyone”

He asks “Why are you so uptight about this?” he sees my eyes fill with anger, I quickly get up out of my seat ready to give him a piece of my mind, he quickly corrects himself “That didn’t come out right at all. I’m sorry. I just want to know why you are hesitant about being a part of my life”

I calm down after he explained himself “I’m sorry if it seems like that, it’s not it at all. I’m kinda freaked out with how fast this relationship is moving” Without thinking I continue “I am living with you now, and when I move back I will be living with you, it shouldn’t be happening like this”

He smiles “You have made your decision”

I just realised what I said. I just look down and nod my head slightly.

He gets steps in closer to me, he gently cups my face and makes me look at him, he says “Relax and enjoy what we have, I am enjoying it and I’m excited for our future. We will make it work, yes it’s a huge step to take by living together, but we can still take things at our own pace, it doesn’t mean we have to rush the other parts”

I slightly smile “Ok”

He says “You don’t have to come back to work with me if you don’t want to. I just thought you might like to see what goes on”

I tell him “I will go with you”

I go back with him to the set of “The Orville”. I was blown away, the set is huge. It felt so surreal with everyone is costume. The makeup is incredible, so much detail. It’s definitely different seeing it from the other side of the camera.

Seth tells me “Definitely something else, isn’t it?”

I reply “Yes it is”

Seth says “I have to get ready now for filming. I will be back”

I just nod my head. I take a wander around the place and get a closer look at everything. The more I see, the more amazed I am. I got a closer look at the model of the ship they used to film. It’s insane because it has everything on the ship to the tiniest detail. I make my way slowly to the set of the bridge as I take everything else in on the way. When I get to the bridge, I get fixated on the control panel. I sit down on the chair where the helmsman sits and resist the urge to touch it.

I hear Seth’s voice from behind me “There you are, I’ve been looking for you”

I get up out of the chair and face him. He is in the captain’s uniform with the jacket unzipped. He also has his hair and makeup done. I can’t say I’m a fan of the makeup, but everything else I find myself getting a little turned on. I don’t want him knowing that. I tell him “Sorry, couldn’t help myself”

He smiles “No need to apologise, I’m glad you are enjoying it”

I say “I am glad I came here”

He says “I knew you would like it”

We spend the rest of the day on the set. I watch them while they film. It’s weird watching Seth play a character. Ed and Seth have their similarities, but at the same time they are totally different. I also met the cast after filming. All of them seem like lovely, kind-hearted people. I found it very easy to talk to them. Back at home, Seth are just chilling out on the couch watching TV

I tell him “Thankyou for today”

He smiles “It was my pleasure”

I snuggle into him and he puts his arm around me and kisses the top of my head.

I ask “When you told everyone about us, did you tell them how we met?”

He chuckles “No, they did ask, but I side tracked them. Why do you ask that?”

I smile “I’m just curious”

He tells me “In time I might. I’m not exactly to thrilled to say that you saved me from something that could potentially be fatal”

I laugh “Why? I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed about. I think that’s your ego getting in the way”

He looks at me is if to say “Really?” he asks “My ego? I wasn’t aware I had an ego”

I smile “You have a huge ego!”

He replies “I don’t believe you”

I say “Of course you don’t believe me. That’s your ego talking again”

He asks “Change of topic, you never told me how it went getting your old job back”

I tell him “I got it back, I just have to update him when I get a definite start date”

He smiles “That’s fantastic, I’m happy for you”

I say “Thankyou, I am relieved.  I have everything sorted for when I make the move. It’s starting to sink in now that I am actually moving back, away from my family and friends” I start to tear up a little.

He says “I will make sure you still see them somehow, whether it’s paying for your plane ticket over there or paying for theirs to come over. I will do anything to make this easier for you”

I tell him “I can’t ask you to do that, but thanks anyways”

He tells me “You are moving back here because of me, and me only. I appreciate it more than you could know. It’s the least I can do because I still want you to have you family and friends apart of your life”

I break down in tears “Thankyou, it means so much that you would do that for me”

He brings me in for a tight hug “You’re welcome and if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask me”

I wipe tears from my eyes with my hand and compose myself “Ok”

He tells me “I know this is hard for you”

I reply “It’s becoming a lot harder than what I thought it would be”

He says “It will be hard, and it still will be hard for a few months after the move. Just promise me you will let me know if there’s anything I can do”

I say “Ok, I promise I will let you know”

He smiles “How about I cheer you up a bit?”

I smile “How are you going to do that?”

He says “Well chicks like eating ice cream out of the container when they are feeling depressed right?”

I laugh and answer “Most do”

He asks “Are you one of those chicks?”

I laugh “I don’t mind it”

He replies “Good, wait here”

He gets up and walks out to the kitchen. Moments later he returns with a spoon and a tub of chocolate ice cream. I can’t help but smile. He hands me the spoon and ice cream, I start digging in. It is pretty awesome and it is making me feel better.

I ask him “Are you going to have some?”

He says “No, I don’t want to get fat”

I put the ice cream down on the coffee table “You just ruined it for me you arsehole”

He smiles “I was only joking, I’m sorry”

He tell him “Here I was thinking you might just understand chicks, then you ruin it with one stupid remark”

He laughs “Obviously I have a lot to learn”

I reply “Obviously”

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[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 7

A month drags by. My excitement is growing by the day, I am glad that Seth influenced my decision to move back to L.A. I have told my family about my plans to move back and all of them think I am insane and when they asked the question why, I told them the truth, now they think I am batshit crazy. I got a lecture from Mum, she doesn’t approve of Seth and I because of the age gap and the fact that I am moving back to L.A for him. Seth and I have talked about a relationship status, while I was happy to try long distance, Seth was hesitant. He didn’t want to jinx it before I moved over there. Finally the day arrives. I am on a plane on my way to L.A, we are about 15 min from landing. I am starting to get butterflies in my belly because Seth will be waiting at the airport for me. After the plane lands and I am back at the terminal, I get my suitcases then focus on trying to look for Seth. I am finding hard to find him because there are people everywhere. I give up and decide to send him a message. Just as I pull my phone out of my pocket, 2 hands cover my eyes from behind. I know exactly who it is. A big smile appears on my face, I quickly turn around to face him

Cheerily I say “Hey, I missed you”

He smiles and says “I have missed you too” he then gently pulls me in and places a soft kiss on my lips. It caught me completely off guard, but I go along with it.

He asks “Shall we go now?”

I reply “Yes, we shall”

Before I can pick my luggage up, he already has it. I tell him “I can carry my suitcase”

He smiles “I know you can” that’s all he says and doesn’t let me carry anything.

I say “Thankyou”

He replies “You’re welcome”

We arrive back at his place, even though I insisted I stay at a motel he insisted I stay with him. I told him though, because it is going to be a few weeks, I will sleep in one of the guest rooms, his reaction was a bit taken aback but he didn’t mind. I didn’t want things to move to fast as it is still very early in our relationship. I didn’t want to screw it up by rushing into things and end up regretting it. I have never seen Seth’s place before, I follow him inside, I’m immediately in awe. The place is massive, I was expecting a big house, but not this! My jaw drops, I mumble to myself “Wow”

Seth heard me, he smiles and asks “I take it you approve of my house”

I tell him in disbelief “Your house is fucking huge, I am going to get lost in here”

He laughs “No you won’t, exaggerating much?”

I scoff “Hardly”

He smiles and shakes his head, he says “I will show you where you will be sleeping” he adds “Follow me so you don’t get lost”

I mutter “Arsehole”

He asks “What did you just say?”

I reply innocently “Nothing”

He says eyeing me suspiciously “Right”

We get to my room, I put my suitcase beside the bed and flop onto the bed. This bed is amazing. I instantly relax and jetlag starts to take over. I feel my eyes getting heavy. Seth lays down next to me and cuddles me. It felt nice to have him so close to me. He kisses my forehead and I drift off to sleep. When I wake up, its pitch black, my body clock hasn’t adjusted to the time change and I’m wide awake because it’s usually daylight in Australia. I use the flashlight on my phone to find the light switch for the bedroom. When I find it, I flick the switch on, grab a book out of my bag and sit down on the bed with my back against the bed head. I keep reading for hours until I start feeling tired enough to fall asleep again. Just as I am falling asleep, I notice a glimmer of sunlight coming the window. I groan and put the pillow over my head so I can fall asleep. One thing I have always hated is jetlag. It always seems to take forever to leave me. Seth wakes me up by gently rubbing my shoulder. I groan “What time is it?”

He replies “12 o’clock”

I jump up straight away and say in a panic “Are you fucking serious?”

He laughs “I am serious, but why is it a drama?”

I tell him “I never sleep in that long, I have spent half of the day sleeping. I don’t like doing that”

He says “Relax, your body is still used to a completely different time zone. I think you can be excused for that” He brings me in for a hug and then says “How about you get yourself ready and we can go out for some lunch?”

I smile “That sounds perfect”

Seth takes me to this little family owned café. The food is not fancy which is what I like. There isn’t any table service, this is the kind of place I am used to. I am glad he chose this place and not a 5 star fine dining restaurant. Before we sit at a table, we look at the menu and decide what we want.

He asks “What are you having? It’s my shout”

I reply “Seth, you really don’t have to”

He repeats himself “What are you having? It’s my shout” this time he looks at me and has a smirk on his face. He knows he had got his way.

I tell him “Ok, thankyou. I’m going for a burger with the works and fries”

He laughs “You are in L.A and you go for a burger and fries”

I’m serious “Yeah….And?”

He says “Nothing at all”

I ask him “Just as I thought. What are you having?”

He replies “I’m going to get the fish”

I shake my head “And you paid me out for my choice”

While Seth orders, I go and find a table. A short time later he sits down across from me. I ask him “Out of all the places you could choose to have lunch why this place?”

He replies with concern “Why? You don’t like it?”

I tell him “I love it, I just never thought this kind of place existed in L.A”

He chuckles “This place has been here for years, it was here when you were living here. To answer your question, it reminds me of my hometown”

I smile “You will have to take me there one day”

He says “There’s no doubt I will”

Our food arrives. We don’t talk much while we eat, we are both starving. After we finish Seth comments “I really can’t wait until you move back. When you told me you would it made me so happy because it meant we will have a shot”

Since he brought up the topic of us, I take the opportunity to clear a few questions that have been running through my mind since I have arrived here.

I ask “So what’s going on between us?”

He looks confused “What do you mean?”

I explain “I thought we weren’t going into a relationship until I have moved back here, I’m on holidays now, I have to go back to Australia”

He says “Ok, so what do you want to happen between us?”

I tell him “You already know the answer to that. You are giving me affection as if we are in a relationship. I am worried that when I go back to Australia you will turn around and say you don’t want to do long distance again” then I ask him “What do you want Seth? If you don’t want to do long distance, I am fine with that, but I don’t want to start anything if that’s the case, I would rather wait”

He looks down at his hands and thinks. He eventually sighs “I don’t know”

Annoyed I ask “Really? You don’t know. It just sucks that you are happy to string me along while you figure it out”

He says “Ali, please, you know that’s not it at all. I didn’t realise you were feeling this way”

I sigh “Seth, I just want a decision. Are we together or not? If we are, it means you have to suck up the long distance until I move back here”

He takes a while to answer, but he asks “Can I have some time to think about it please?”

I sigh loudly out of frustration “Fine”

He says “I will have answer by tonight, I promise”

I look at him confused “How could you possibly know that you will have an answer by tonight?”

He gets snarky “Do you what an answer or not?”

I sigh “Yes”

He says “I will have an answer for you tonight, ok?”

I say quietly “Ok”

He says “Maybe we should go home now”

I tell him “I think that might be a good idea”

We get back to his place, I make myself comfy on the couch. He soon comes in to me, with his wallet and his keys in his hand and he says “I have to go to work for an hour or so?”

I ask “Already? But we just got home?”

He replies “I know, I’m not exactly thrilled either, but I won’t be long”

I say “Ok, have fun”

He smiles and says sarcastically “I will have a blast!” he says seriously “I will be back soon, bye”

I say “Bye” as he is walking off.

2 hours pass by and Seth still isn’t back. I send him a text “Will you be back soon?”

I immediately get a reply “On my way back now, be home in 15”

He gets back in 15 minutes. Once he gets inside he comes into me and sits next to me on the couch.

He smiles and says “I have a decision for you” he hands me a small box.....

I hesitate to take it “Uh… Seth… This isn’t what…”

He catches on to what I was thinking “No, of course not. Open the box”

I take the box from him and open it. It’s a rose gold ring with a small diamond with a small ruby next to it.

I say holding back tears “Seth, this is gorgeous”

He smiles and points to the inside of the band “Read it”

I read it. It has inscribed “established” with today’s date. He explains “I made my decision at the café, I asked for time because I didn’t want that to be the way to make it official, I also asked for time because I needed to come up with something. You may have guessed this, but I didn’t have to go to work at all”

I slip the ring on my finger, I tell him “Thankyou, I love it”

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in close to me and kiss him deeply. It doesn’t take him long to get into it. Things don’t take long to heat up. He gently forces me back on the couch as he slowly puts himself over me without breaking the kiss. He slides his hand underneath my shirt, the slides it up my belly to my breasts. He works his hand underneath my bra, and starts massaging on of my breasts. I start to feel uncomfortable. I break the kiss.

I tell him “Seth, I don’t think this is a good idea, we literally only just become official, I have only been back 24 hrs. I think we should wait”

He takes his hand off my breast and slowly pulls himself off me so he is sitting. He rests his hand on my leg.

He says “You have a point, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking”

I tell him “Don’t be sorry, it’s just as much my fault as yours. Honestly, the only reason I agreed to stay here rather than a hotel is because I will be sleeping in a separate bed. I just don’t want to screw this up before it begins”

He tells me “I get that, thinking about it now, it’s probably for the best that we wait” then he adds with a smirk “Please tell me that it can happen before you have to go back to Australia”

I slap his shoulder playfully “I won’t rule it out, but see how everything goes”

He says with a smirk “I was hoping for a definite yes, what are the chances of a blowjob?”

I laugh “Are you serious right now?”

He replies “Depends on your answer”

“You really are a piece of work, you know that?” I tell him

He asks “Are you going to answer my question?”

I tell him “No, Seth”

He asks “Is that no you won’t answer my question or no to the blowjob”

I smile and tell him “two can play this game”

He had nothing to say. I finally got a bit of revenge and it felt great.

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[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 6

A few days later, Seth went back to L.A. The goodbye was hard on both of us. Nothing has been said by either of us if we are actually in a relationship or not, but since the kiss we have been quite comfortable with each other. A week later, Seth and I organise a time to skype. When I finish work, I will be calling him. I can’t wait, it’s all I have been able to think about for the past few hours. My shift finally ends and I waste no time in getting home. As soon as I walk through my door, I get my laptop and call Seth over Skype.

He answers, but not how I was expecting, he sighs “Hey”

I am concerned straight away “Hey, what’s up?”

He replies “Nothing”

I say “Yes there is. You aren’t doing a good job hiding it”

He sighs again before saying “I am just going to say it because I have been trying to think of a way to tell you, but……”

I cut him off, knowing that I am not going to like what he has to say “Just say it”

He says “I can’t do long distance”

I can feel tears well up in my eyes, I look away from the camera to try and hide them.

I hear his voice, guilt ridden “I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m sorry”

I compose myself. I feel anger build up in my body. I lose my shit “You are sorry and didn’t want to hurt me? Are you kidding me? You instigated all this knowing very well how I felt about you and not to mention you knew that I had accepted that we could never be, you still pursued it” I settle down, I tell him with venom in my words “You are now nothing to me”

Seth pleads “Ali, please, I don’t want us to be like this”

I say coldly “Goodbye Seth” then end the call.

I am so hurt right now, how could he lead me on like that? That’s just cruel. At least I don’t have to consider moving back to L.A anymore. As the days pass, I still feel like shit. Work is the only thing keeping me sane. Seth has tried messaging me and calling me but I refuse to talk to him. I am at work now, I am on night shift, it’s late and it’s been a quiet night. I am sitting on the couches in the common room watching TV, my phone starts ringing. I look at the caller ID. It’s a private number. I know Seth wouldn’t do that to try and talk to me so I answer it.

“Hello”

A female voice on the other end “Hello Alina”

Suspiciously I say “Hi and you would be…..”

She says “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Rachael, Seth’s sister”

I sigh “Really? He put you up to this?”

She quickly responds “No, he doesn’t even know I have your number, he has told me what happened between you two. I know both of you are hurting just as much as each other….”

I cut her off “Why are you calling Rachael?”

She says “Please talk to him, if you don’t want to talk to him again, at least tell him that so he knows where he stands because at the moment he’s hoping that once you calm down you will talk to him”

I say flatly “I will think about it, I am not making any promises though”

She snaps “Do you really think he wanted to do this to you? He is hurting just as bad as you. So how about you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thinking of others?”

I reply “If you are done now, I am going to go. I have given you more than enough of my time now. I said I will think about it, just take what you can get” I end the call. I can’t believe that I just got a call from Seth’s sister. Does she always stick her nose into his business. After a few hours she has me thinking anyways. She maybe right, he probably didn’t want to hurt me, but he has feelings too. I dial Seth’s number. He picks up straight away

Relieved he says “Hey, I didn’t think you would talk to me again”

I tell him “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did, I said some things I didn’t mean”

He says “I’m sorry that I hurt you, I just find long distance extremely hard. I have tried it before and I felt myself starting to get in the same mind frame as before. It has nothing to do with my feelings towards you because they are still there, that’s what makes it hurt so much more”

I ask “What if I move back to L.A?”

There’s excitement in his voice “You would make me the happiest man alive”

I ask “What if we don’t work out? I will be left with nothing keeping me there again”

He answers my question with a question “What if we do workout?”

He has a point. Moving back to L.A is such a big move, I just want to be sure about it before I do it. I am in deep thought now. Seth breaks my thoughts

“Are you there?”

I answer “Yeah”

He asks “What are you thinking about?”

I reply “I don’t want to take the decision lightly. I can’t shake the doubts in my head”

He says “I don’t think you will shake the doubts. You left L.A on bad terms”

Again, he has a point. Damn it. I want to be with him and he has said he wants to be with me, the only way we can be together is if I move to L.A. Seth will be my only reason for moving there.

He tells me “I know you are seriously considering it. I really think you should just bite the bullet and do it. I’m not saying that because I want it, I’m saying that because whatever doubts you have are obviously from the reason you left L.A to begin with and this time it probably won’t be the same. I think we both have more to gain than lose if you move”

I tell him jokingly “Fuck you, why do you have to keep coming up with all these good points?”

He laughs “Its working isn’t it”

I stay silent for a moment before answering “Ok, I will make the move”

He sounds excited “Let me confirm. You are going to move back to L.A?”

This makes me smile “Yes, I will organise holidays with work to go over there and look for a place and hopefully get my old job back”

He says “I can’t wait”

I smile “Neither can I”

I talk to Seth for another hour before I realise the time, it’s midnight and I have morning shift. I wait until the end of my shift to ask for the holidays. I am nervous because my boss is a dick about time off. I softly knock on his office door

He says “Come in”

He looks up from the papers on his desk and he asks “Alina, what can I do for you?”

I reply “Well, I was hoping to take holidays”

He replies “You haven’t been here for 12 months. You still have 6 months”

I say “I know, I was hoping you would let me take them in advance” I pause for a moment “There’s someone in L.A I would like to spend some time with”

He asks “How much time off would you like?”

I reply “4 weeks”

He comments “You know that’s going to be a hard to get anytime soon, right?”

I reply “Yes sir, I realise that, I will be truly grateful if you are able to give it to me”

He takes out his yearly planner from the top drawer in his desk, he opens it and searches through it. I wait nervously while he does so. After a few minutes he speaks “There’s a lot going on in the next three months, I can give you to options, take two weeks in a month’s time or wait out the three months and you can have the four weeks”

I smile because I can’t believe he actually let me have my holidays in advance. I tell him my decision “I will wait the three months, Sir, so I can take the 4 weeks” I have a big smile on my face “Thankyou so much, I really appreciate this”

He smiles back “You are welcome”

I say “I will leave you be now”

I walk out of his office. I would have like it a bit sooner, but I am just so relieved that he let me have them in advance. He doesn’t usually do that. I am in a great mood now that nothing can destroy!

I just finish my shift, I want to tell Seth the good news. But then I realise with the time difference, he will be asleep. I fill in the time by watching a movie and chilling out with a bourbon. As soon as the movie is finished I check the time. He will be awake now so I dial his number.

He answers sounding groggy “Hey”

I immediately feel bad “I’m sorry, I thought you would be awake”

He says “You didn’t wake me, my alarm had just gone off, I have not long woken up”

I say relieved “That makes me feel a little better. I am calling because I have good news”

He asks “Ok, what is the good news?”

I tell him with excitement “My boss is usually a dick about time off, but he gave it to me! I thought he wouldn’t give me the time off”

With a hint of excitement in his voice, still a bit groggy he says “Nice, so when is it and for how long?”

I tell him “Well it’s in three months, I know it’s still quite the wait, I got the 4 weeks I was after”

He says “I think I can deal with three months knowing that I will be able to spend 4 weeks with you” he pauses and comments “So it’s really happening. You are moving back to L.A”

I say “Yeah, it’s really happening. The more I think of it, the more excited I am getting. Those doubts I had are almost non-existent now. I am glad I took your advice and just bit the bullet and decided to move back”

He chuckles slightly “I’m glad you took my advice too” he then says “Today has started off perfect, hopefully it stays that way”

I yawn, I am getting tired now and it’s getting late. Seth says “It sounds like you are ready for bed. I will let you go so you can get some sleep. Thanks for the call, it has already made my day”

I tell him “I couldn’t wait to tell you and yeah I am ready for bed. I will message you when I wake up”

He says “Ok, goodnight”

I say “Goodnight” then end the call.

When I go to bed, as soon as my head hits the pillow, I am out like a light.

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[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 5

The next morning Seth and I sit down and eat breakfast together. He has a serious case of bed hair, still looks half asleep and he’s only in his boxers. I’m trying hard to hide how attracted I am to him right now.

I ask him “Do you feel up to doing anything today?”

He replies “Nothing that requires too much physical activity”

All I’m thinking is don’t stare, don’t stare, repeatedly. I go into my own little world with my thoughts. I am snapped out of them when Seth stands up. I did not need him to stand up, it sends my imagination into overdrive.

I stand up and turn around and start to walk away. I say “Oh dear lord”. I didn’t mean to say it, it just come out and he heard it. Fuck.

I can hear the amusement in his voice “What’s that about?”

As I’m walking away I say “Nothing at all”

He asks “Are you sure about that?”

I say “Yep. Never been so sure about it in my life”

He says “Just tell me”

I walk into my room and shut the door. I don’t say anything to him. I need to settle myself down. That was embarrassing. Hopefully he didn’t catch on. Half hour later, Seth softly knocks on my door. He asks from the other side “Ali, are you ok?”

I say “I’m just fine”

He asks “Did I do anything wrong?”

How the fuck do I answer that? Should I just say of course you did you poor clueless bastard?

He asks “Ali?”

I better say something “No you haven’t done anything wrong” is all I say.

He says “Ok, I will leave you be now”

Soon after he leaves I emerge from my room. I walk into the living room where he has made himself comfortable on the couch, still only in boxers. He looks at me and pats the empty seat next to him motioning me to sit next to him. I hesitate, I try to think of an excuse why I have to leave the room, but can’t. I slowly make my way over to him and sit down. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer. The images that are in my head right now are not doing me any favours.

He’s amused again “What is with you this morning?”

I say quietly “Nothing”

He jokes “Maybe it’s my good looks and charm”

I’m not amused, I say sarcastically “Very funny”

His face looks shocked as he has a lightbulb moment “Holy. Shit! I know why you are acting weird this morning. You….”

I snap “Don’t you dare fucking say it”

He puts his hands up in the air to signal surrender “Ok. I won’t say it” then he adds “Doesn’t mean I won’t have fun with it though”

I roll my eyes and sigh “Great”

He says quickly “A cold shower always helps me” than laughs

I hit him over the head with a couch cushion “Goddamn it Seth. You’re not funny”

I get up and walk away. I snap “Get dressed”

It’s now mid afternoon, Seth and I are at the beach, just sitting on the sand watching the waves and listening to the sound of the ocean. It’s very relaxing.

Seth comments “It’s been a while since I have appreciated a scenery like this”

I reply “Same”

He asks “Have things changed?”

I know what he was referring to. Why did he have to bring this up? I reply “No”

All he says is “Ok then”

I ask “Why are you asking?”

He says “No reason”

I am starting to get frustrated “Seth, tell me why you asked”

He sighs “I want you to move back to L.A”

I ask “Is that the reason you came to visit me? To try and get me to move back to L.A. You are hoping my feelings for you would change my mind”

He replies “A very small part of the reason I came to visit you was to try and convince you to move back to L.A, but it’s not like how you think it is”

I snap “You’re unbelievable, you know that? I have to go” I get up and walk away.

With desperation he says “Ali, wait! Please!”

I lash out at him “I have accepted the fact that you and I can never be, I am not moving back to L.A. I am finally happy here with my family and friends. Just putting myself first for a change” I keep walking away.

A few hours later I am at home making myself dinner. I haven’t seen or heard from Seth since the argument. As angry as I am at him, I don’t want to lose him. Feelings aside, he means a lot to me.

I send him a text “Please come to my place. I’m worried”

I don’t receive a reply. Even though my phone is loud every 5 minutes I have been checking my phone just in case I didn’t hear the message come through. An hour later I receive a text message. I quickly open the message hoping it’s Seth. It’s not, it’s from my sister, Bree.

“Hey sista, what you up to tonight? I was hoping I can come around to your place and have a piss up with you. Grog is on me”

I smile. I could do with a few drinks. I reply “Sounds good”

I hear my front door open. I know it’s Bree because that’s what she does. Bree announces her arrival “I’m here and I have the goods”

I go up to her, she hands me a can of bourbon, leaves a can on the kitchen bench for herself before putting the rest in the fridge.

I say “Thanks for this, it’s much needed”

She says “It’s all good, you have had one of those days too, huh?”

I reply “You have no idea”

I haven’t told my family about my friendship with Seth. My sisters are fans of his work. If I tell my parents, they will tell my sisters who will then get over the top excited. I don’t want to deal with that.

Bree asks “You want to talk about it?”

I admit “I do but I can’t. It’s complicated”

She replies “I’m your sister, you can tell me anything. It won’t go any further”

I say “Ok, but you have to promise it doesn’t go any further”

She replies “I promise”

I start explaining “It started while I was back in L.A. I have a good friend that I like in that way…”

She cuts me off and asks in shock “Are you gay?” then says “I am totally cool with it, but I had no idea”

I chuckle “The friend is a guy” I continue explaining “Well, my best friend…. Who is a girl by the way… She knew how I felt and got with him anyways”

She says “Wow, that’s low, complicated already. Is he still with her. Did he know how you felt before they got together”

I reply “No, they broke up a few weeks later and no he didn’t know how I felt about him” I continue “She told him how I felt, and of course he asked if it’s true, I did tell him the truth. I also told him, because of the drama involved I can’t be friends while he is with her”

She says “I know there’s more, so continue”

I tell her “So fast forward to 2 days ago. He turns up here. On my doorstep. I had no idea he was even coming to visit me. I found out yesterday that part of the reason he came to visit me was to try and convince me to move to L.A again. It wasn’t just a friendly visit”

She says “Awwww. That’s so sweet. So what are you going to do?”

I shoot her a look “It’s not sweet. How do you get sweet out of that? I have my life set up here now, I am happy, I have told him regardless of my feelings, I have accepted we can never be. I’m not going back”

She says “You’re a bitch. You are letting your emotions get the better of you. You can name the amount, but I bet you that he has realised he has the same feelings for you. So where is he now?”

I sigh “I have no idea. I sent him a text and he didn’t reply. I think I have fucked things up”

She says “I’m not going to lie. It’s possible. Give him time to process it. He must be gutted. If he comes back, at least you know he has the same feelings for you and is not giving up easily”

I say “I guess you’re right”

She states “Sista, I know I’m right”

A couple of hours later, it’s nearing midnight. Bree and I are borderline drunk. There’s a knock at the door. I look at Bree and Bree looks at me.

I ask her “Did you just hear a knock on the door”

She replies “Yes, I heard it too”

I get up and walk to the door. I open it and see Seth standing there. He looks like he’s been crying.

He asks “Can I come in?”

I reply “Sure”

I move out of the way and let him in. He begins to say “I’m sorry….”

Bree hears his voice and walks up to us excited, she asks me “Tell me why Seth Macfarlane is here” she then realises “OMG. This is the guy you were telling me about!”

I tell Bree “Please, give us a few minutes”

She replies “Ok, but I hope you two get your act together” She walks away.

He says “You told her”

I reply “Yeah, I needed to talk and get some perspective”

He just nods his head slightly. He then asks “Did you get the perspective you were looking for?”

I tell him “I did. I am no longer angry”

He quickly cups my face and kisses me. He lets it linger before pulling away. He still cups my face, he asks me “Please, will you move back to L.A”

I hesitate “I dunno”

He says “Please, at least consider it, I will give you all the time you need”

I nod my head “I will think about it, but it will probably be a while before I make my decision”

He says “That’s all I ask, thankyou” He moves in and kisses me again. This time it’s deep, I get into it and wrap my arms around his neck. After a few seconds we break the kiss.

He says “For now, let’s just make the most of my time here before I have to go back to L.A”

I smile “Sounds like a plan”

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[roogerriffic]

More to come!

I have just posted chapter 4! More chapters on the way shortly!

[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 4

During the next few days I had been putting a lot of thought into my decision to stay in L.A or go ahead with my move to Australia. I finally decided to go ahead with the move. I need to look after me and get my life back on track, I can’t do that if I’m only staying here for 1 person. I haven’t told Seth yet, I hope he understands. I will tell him today if he’s able to come around to my place, I don’t really want to do it over the phone.

I send Seth a text “Do you want to come around to my place after you finish work?”

He must be busy because I don’t get a reply. I just keep concentrating on packing for the move. It seems never ending. It’s just on lunch time now, I stop packing to get myself something to eat. While I’m sitting down eating lunch my phone lights up and gives me a text notification. I open up the text, it’s from Seth.

“Sorry, I can’t tonight, I promised Brooke I would have dinner with her”

That messaged hurt. I manage to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. I thought he had broken up with her. I wish I could just turn off the feelings I have for him, I hate feeling like this. I try my best to think logically about this. This just confirms that I am making the right decision about moving to Australia. I don’t reply to Seth. I just go back to keeping my distance and this time stay away. After a few hours I get another text message, it’s from Seth

“I haven’t heard from you, are you ok?”

He must have a feeling that there is something wrong, why else would he send that message? By the end of the day I am exhausted but at least I have gotten heaps done. In the meantime I have received 2 more messages and a missed call from Seth. He would know by now that I am ignoring him. It’s 9pm and I’m exhausted. Exhausted from packing and just emotionally drained. I get dressed in my pj’s and go to bed. I close my eyes and hope to drift off to sleep but my mind keeps racing. My emotions are conflicting themselves, I feel guilty for moving when I know Seth wants me to stay, I am excited for the next chapter in my life, I am still hurt because Seth is still with Brooke, I know I will miss Seth. Hours pass by and I still haven’t managed to get any sleep, it hasn’t helped that I still have been getting messages from Seth. The last message brought me to tears.

“Maybe it is better you keep your distance. I’m done with all the bullshit”

I cry myself to sleep.

A week passes and I am now on my way back to Australia. After that last message Seth sent we haven’t spoken to each other. Seth doesn’t know that I am on my way back to Australia. I sleep majority of the trip. I wake up when the flight attendant announces we will be landing in Brisbane in 30 minutes. The 30 minutes goes really quickly. The plane lands and taxis back to the terminal. As soon as I am inside the terminal, I turn my phone back on. There’s no new messages or missed calls.   I’m back at my parent’s place. I will be staying there for a couple of weeks until the house I got becomes available. I have a week off before I start my new job. I can’t wait. As the days go by, there still isn’t any word from Seth. I really do miss him but can’t bring myself to talk to him until I know Brooke is out of the picture. For my sanity I don’t want to get attached to him again. Tomorrow I will be getting a new phone so I have an Australian phone number which means I can totally focus on myself and not have to worry about if Seth is going to call or message me. A month later, I have never been happier. Work is going great, I’m in my house, and I have bought myself a new car. My mind is finally free, I am no longer dwelling on my feelings for Seth. Moving back to Australia is one of the best life decisions I have ever made. I have just got home from a night shift at work. Being a Friday night/Saturday morning, the night was full of alcohol related incidences, it’s exhausting. I have 2 days off now, so it sweetened it a little for me. Once I have a shower and get dressed, I get into bed and just chill out for a while before I go to sleep. I sit my phone on my bedside table next to my book, I pick up my book, settle down and start reading. A while later, I’m still reading....just. I can barely keep my eyes open but this is a great book and I don’t like putting it down. My phone lights up and Messenger notifies me with a ‘ding’. I don’t know who will be sending me a message at this hour, curiosity gets the better of me so I put the book down and pick my phone up. Once I unlock it, I see the profile pic of the person who sent the message. My heart sinks. It’s Seth. He rarely uses Facebook and because of that, I completely forgot that he was still on my friends list. My head was telling me don’t open the message, just ignore it, but my heart was telling me to open it. Of course I listened to my heart and opened the message.

“I have been trying to call you, your number has been disconnected. I’m hoping to catch up”

I reply “I’m no longer in the states. I have to be honest, If I had remembered you were still on my friend’s list, I would have deleted you. I was finally feeling back to myself again”

He says “I just thought you might like to know that I broke it off with Brooke”

I tell him “It’s best if we don’t contact each other, I finally have my feelings in check and I don’t want that screwed up. I’m happy”

He replies “I miss you. Can you at least tell me if you miss me at all?”

I don’t reply. I feel that all too familiar pang in my heart again. I thought I had gotten rid of it for good. I put my phone back on the bedside table and close my eyes. I hear the  notification, I don’t check what he has said, I pick up my phone to turn the power off so I can try and get a decent sleep without interruption. When I turn my phone on the next morning, I see another message from Seth. To say I’m shocked with the message is an understatement.

“Since you won’t talk to me, I am going to come to you. Give me a week and I will be there”

I brush the message off and chuckle to myself. All he knows is that I am in Brisbane. Brisbane is a big city and the chances of him finding me are slim to none.

I reply “You don’t know my address and I’m not going to give it to you”

He replies “How about this? If you don’t want me there, you have 3 days to delete me. I won’t contact you anymore, However, if you don’t delete me, you tell me your address”

I delete him straight away. Later that afternoon, I receive a text from my friend, Taylor. She has been one of my closest friends since high school. We rarely catch up because of our lives have taken different directions, but when we do catch up, it’s like we only caught up yesterday. I read her text.

“You have some explaining to do. I know you have today off work so I’m coming over now!!!”

I reply “What have I done?”

I don’t get a reply. I dare say that she’s driving, already on her way over here. 10 minutes later, there’s a knock on my door, I walk over and open the door.

Taylor asks “Are you going to spill the beans?”

Sarcastically I say “Hello, how are you?” then add “What beans?”

She asks “You seriously don’t know what I’m talking about?”

I reply “No, I have no idea”

She grabs her phone from her pocket, unlocks it, opens her messenger app, taps on a conversation to open it. She then passes her phone to me

“Check this out”

What I seen made me ropeable. How dare he do that. He stalked me on Facebook, figured out that Tay was one of my closest friends and asked her for my info.  Tay had the hide to give him my address and phone number.

I yell at her “Why would you give him my personal information for?”

She shrugs her shoulders “For a start, it’s Seth Macfarlane and two, he obviously has feelings for you if he’s willing to come here for you”

I sigh in frustration. There’s nothing that can be done now except wait. Wait for him to contact me or wait for him to show up at my door step.

She doesn’t care in the slightest that I am angry, she asks with a smirk on her face “Sooooo....... How did you meet him?”

I almost snap “I saved his life”

She thinks for a moment, then asks “How did you saving his life, end up with him having a crush on you?”

I sigh “He doesn’t have a crush on me”

She laughs “Uh.....yeah he does!”

I tell her “Look, it’s an extremely long story that I don’t feel like telling right now”

She says “Ok then, but I want to meet him when he comes to see you”

I glare at her.

She laughs at me before saying “Well I best be off now, you can thank me for this later”

Tay leaves before I can say another word. I can’t believe she gave Seth my address and phone number. Why is Seth going to all this trouble to keep in contact with me?

A week goes by and I have heard nothing from Seth. While I think it’s weird he went to all that effort to get my address and phone number and not contact me at all, I don’t put much thought into it. Right now its 6am and I have just pulled up in my driveway after finishing graveyard shift at work. As I walk up my drive I notice someone sitting at my doorstep. I can’t tell who it is, I’m too far away. This is freaking me out right now. I cautiously step closer and closer, I am a few metres away now. They appear to be asleep as they aren’t aware I am even here. The person has their back up against the wall, knees up to their chest and their head inbetween their knees so I still can’t tell who it is. I finally get close enough to recognise this person even without seeing their face. I mutter to myself “Oh for fuck’s sake”

I slap the back of his head pretty hard, it scares the living shit out of him “Jesus Christ” he blurts out

I ask him “Seth, what the fuck are you doing?”

He casually says “I was waiting for you to get home” he adds “That’s a very nice welcome by the way”

I sigh “Just get inside”

He asks while getting up to his feet “What exactly have I done wrong? I was kinda hoping for a better reaction than “What the fuck are you doing?””

I sigh loudly before explaining “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a better reaction. You haven’t done anything wrong. I am finally happy, I’m no longer in the hell where my feelings ran my life. You show up on my doorstep and I’m scared I’m going to go back to that hell”

Once we are inside, Seth follows me to the living room. I sit down on the couch and he sits next to me.

He asks “So that’s it? You don’t want anything to do with me anymore?”

I reply “It’s not that I don’t want anything to do with you, because believe me, I do, it’s just easier this way”

He says firmly “I’m not going anywhere”

I tell him “Please don’t make this harder for me”

He raises his voice “I thought we had a good friendship, you seriously don’t want anything to do with me because you can’t keep your feelings in check?”

I yell at him “Really? You want to go there? I have told you what it has been like for me and that moving here has helped me. You don’t give a rat’s arse because YOU want to be friends”

He sighs loudly and calms himself down before saying “I will go back to L.A if you want me to. I just really wanted to try and keep our friendship, that’s all” he gets up of the couch and starts walking to the front door “I’m going back to the motel now, I will leave you alone” He looked and sounded defeated.

I blurt out “Seth, please stay”

He stops and turns around to face me, confused he asks ‘Why? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me”

I reply “You’re right”

Confused still, he asks “Right about what? That you don’t want anything to do with me?”

I say “Not about that”

He looks at me, giving me a look as if to say “Tell me more”, when I don’t tell him he asks “Care to elaborate?”

I nod my head slightly. I take a deep breath and say “You’re right about how I don’t want anything to do with you because I can’t keep my feelings in check”

He says “I didn’t mean that to come out the way it did”

I tell him “I know, but it’s exactly how it is”

He asks “What now? Do you want me to stick around or do you want me to go back to L.A?”

I say quietly “Please stay”

He smiles softly and says “Of course”

I wake up on the couch, I rub my neck, it hurts from the awkward sleeping position. I only just notice Seth at the other end of the couch, still asleep. All I remember is just Seth and I talking on the couch. I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly. I look at the time on the clock on top of my TV unit. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon. Other than my neck, I don’t feel too bad. I carefully get up of the couch, trying not to wake Seth up, which I fail, I wake him up.

Groggily he says “What time is it?”

I reply “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. It’s 3:30”

He groans “Really?”

I smile “Yeah, Really”

He groans again “The day has gone”

He slowly sits himself up and says “I could really do with a coffee”

I tell him “I will make you one”

He says “I can make it, you tell me where I can find everything”

I smile “I will make it, it’s fine, just say thankyou”

He smiles “Thankyou”

I reply “You’re welcome”

After I make our coffees we move to the chairs in the entertainment area outside. We don’t say much as Seth is still half asleep. Half hour later Seth says “I better get back to the motel so I can get myself respectable again”

I tell him “After you make yourself respectable again, check out of the motel. I have a spare bed for you”

He says “I couldn’t do that to you. I have no problems staying at the motel”

I say “It’s no problem. It will actually be nice to have someone around”

He smiles “Well ok then. I shall check out of the motel”

I tell him “Good”

He leaves not long after that. While I am still scared that my feeling will flare up again, I really do want to our friendship back. I do miss it.

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[roogerriffic]

I'm sorry!!

I know I said Tuesday I would have chapter 4 up, it's now Thursday and it's not up. I apologise from the bottom of my heart. The main reason it's not up us because I decided to rewrite the chapter, the other reason is I've had a personal problem to deal with.

I won't put a time on it this time. But I still promise to make it worth the wait!

Sorry again guys!

[roogerriffic]

Sorry for the wait!

So i was going to post chapter 4 of All or Nothing, but when i was editing it, it wasn't up to standard to post. I will post it on Tuesday. I will make it worth the wait since its been about a week since i last posted a chapter :)

[roogerriffic]

Lol! @sethmacsexy20 I will have to watch it. Try and find the uncensored version!

[roogerriffic]

Only if I was a dog too! Otherwise I'm repulsed....

sooooooooo…

on a scale one to ten, if one of us was in family guy, we would date brian, hands down. 😅

[roogerriffic]

Hi anon :)

I have 2 blogs - this one as well as thescrewedrooger. They both have Seth fanfics. I highly recommend @nicknchris09 and her other blog @sethmacsexy20

what are your fave seth fanfics or your fave seth fanfic writers. sorry if you already answered this before. or do you even read them? or write some yourself? if so, any scenarios you'd like to see? i hope if seth fans see this i'd for them to respond to this with their fave fanfic/writers too or what content they'd like to see

sethmacfrickinfrackinfanfiction!!!! I just finished the last chapter to my FAVORITE fanfic. I would recommend checking out her blog. I need to catch up on the last few chapters, and I can’t wait to find the time to sit back and read the rest. I might even reread the whole thing! It’s 61 chapters so you have a longer story to enjoy!

I do not right fanfics although I have had ideas for them before. I don’t know if I would ever write one.

I personally like romance in mine. (Yes I know I’m a cliche cheese puff! 😂)

[roogerriffic]

@sethmacsexy20 hurry up and post the part!!!!

@foreverbeingthunderbuddy this is amazing! I have been waiting patiently (ok, maybe impatiently!) For this!

Requested by @sethmacsexy20 . A drawing for your fanfic ‘Friends to Lovers’ Part 7. Seth‘s mom, Perry MacFarlane. With wings. This also has to do with Seth‘s son, so I recommend reading her story ;)

(Tap on drawing for better quality)

[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 3

Finally the next arrives. I decide to take the whole 4 weeks of holidays owing to me. The past week went painfully slow. Brooke and I were giving each other the cold shoulder. Only talking to each other if it’s work related. Seth and I haven’t contacted each other at all. I guess he’s happy with Brooke. A spur of the moment decision, I decide I want to go back to Australia for my holidays. I go online and book the tickets. I leave in 2 days. All my family are back in Australia. Right now I am missing them like crazy. I better call mum and tell her that I am coming home. I dial her number and I hear it ringing.

She answers excitedly “Hello Darling! How have you been? It’s been a while since we have talked”

I reply “Hey Mum, I haven’t been better” I lied because I don’t want to talk about it. I am kinda embarrassed about it all.

I continue the conversation “I’m calling to tell you that I am on holidays and I’m going back to Australia. I leave in 2 days”

She yells “OH MY GOD! This isn’t a joke is it?”

I smile “No Mum, it’s not a joke. I am really going back to see everyone”

She says excitedly “I have to go now, I have calls to make” she hangs up before I get a chance to say goodbye.

I know the calls she urgently had to make is to tell anyone and everyone she knows that I am going back to Australia. I sleep in the next day until 10am. I needed that sleep in. I still do my usual routine which is as soon as I get up, I have a shower, get dressed then make myself some breakfast. At 2pm, I thought I better start packing because I leave early tomorrow morning. That’s pretty much how I spent my day. I am getting so excited, I might not be able to sleep tonight. Now it’s starting to get late. It’s 10pm and I have to be up at 4am to be at the airport by 5:30am. I am not sleepy in the slightest. I make myself a hot chocolate to try and bring on sleep. I go to bed at 10:30, I’m still not really sleepy, but I have to try and get some sleep. Just as I start to doze off, my phone lights up and gives me a notification that I have received a message. I groan, I think about ignoring it and going back to sleep, but I can’t help myself. I open the text message. It’s from Seth. “Sorry about the late message, but I have been hoping to hear from you and haven’t. Are you angry with me? I think we need to talk. I miss our friendship”

I shouldn’t have opened the message. This was a painful reminder of what Brooke did to me. I am no longer excited. I’m in no way angry with Seth, he knows how I feel about him and he is with someone else who knows how I feel about him as well. It’s best if I keep my distance. I ignore the message. I cry myself to sleep. For some reason I wake up at 3:30am, half hour before my alarm goes off. I get up anyway because if I fall asleep, I will only feel worse than what I do now. Once I have my shower and dressed, I make myself breakfast and take it to the table to sit down and eat it. I decide to reply to Seth’s message.

All I say “I’m not angry with you. I miss our friendship too, but it’s best for everyone if I keep my distance”

I’m at the airport now, the boarding call has just been announced. I do one quick check of my phone before I have to turn flight mode on. Seth has replied.

“It doesn’t need to be like this. Brooke mentioned you are on holidays, are you free today to at least talk or at least tell me if what Brooke said is true”

I ignore this message. I don’t know how to reply without making myself looking like a bitch. I’m not telling him where I am going because he will tell Brooke.

During the flight I think. I think a lot. I’m thinking about what’s holding me in L.A other than my job. Nothing is keeping me in L.A. I’m back to square one where the only thing I have is my job. It wouldn’t feel right hanging out with Milla, Tara or Becky now that Brooke and I are no longer friends. I decide while I’m in Australia that I will go and hand my resume in to the ambulance stations in the area. I want to move back to my hometown, Brisbane, with my family. Once I’m in the Airport terminal in Brisbane, I immediately start searching for my family. I hear my name being called “Alina”

I look around, I see my mum, dad and 2 sisters waiting for me. I cry because I’m so happy. I race up to everyone and we all have a group hug. Mum is crying too. “I can’t believe you are here, I missed you”

I say “I missed you too Mum” then I continue “And Mum”

She asks “Yes Darl?”

I tell her “I’m moving back to Brisbane”

She cries harder “I can’t believe this is happening. I have been waiting for the day you say that for so long now”

I give her a smile “I know Mum”

I have been back in Brisbane a week now. In that time I have managed to get myself a job. I start in 4 weeks. Next on the agenda is a house. I am looking through rental properties from different real estates. I found a few that I like and that would be within my budget. Hopefully by the time I have to go back to L.A to get my things and arrange everything I will know if I have a house to move into. I have still kept contact with Seth very minimal. I know he is hurt by this but I know that it will lead to something far worse otherwise. 2 days later, I ring my boss in L.A and tell him I won’t be back because I’m moving to Australia. The news must of spread like wildfire, obviously gotten back to Brooke who then told Seth, then Seth messaged me.

“I had no idea that you were in Australia for holidays until today. I hear you are moving to Brisbane. Will you be coming back to L.A at all before you make the move?”

I reply “Yes, I will be back there late next week to do all the last minute things”

He replied immediately “Can we at least grab a coffee somewhere before you go?”

I didn’t really want to because my feelings for him haven’t changed at all. I agree to meet him because I would feel so guilty if I don’t.

I reply “I will let you know when I am back, we can arrange to go out for a coffee then”

The next week and a half flies by, I am now back in L.A. When I get home I message Seth “Literally just got home”

He replies “Can I call you?”

“Sure” I reply

My phone rings and I pick it up straight away. I answer “Hey”

He says “Hey”

I didn’t realise how much I missed his voice until I heard it for the first time in weeks. There was an awkward silence. After a minute he finally breaks the silence.

“We really need to talk. You are obviously hurt, I am hurt because I miss the friendship we had”

I just listen. I don’t know what to say.

He asks “Is it ok if I go to your place now? I don’t feel right talking over the phone”

I say quietly “It’s fine”

He says “Ok, I will be there shortly, see you soon”

I almost whisper “See you soon” before I end the call

Sure enough, 15 minutes after the call, I hear a knock on my door. I go and let Seth in. Once inside we go and sit on the couch. Things were very awkward. I don’t know how to start this conversation off.

With caution he asks “So is it true?”

I reply “Why does it matter? It’s not going to change things either way”

He sighs “I want to understand. Right now I feel like a piece of shit because I’m the reason why a strong friendship come to an end”

I never thought about his position in this. Now I feel like a piece of shit.

I sigh “Yes it’s true and I know what the next question is going to be and the answer to that is I still feel the same”

I look at my hands sitting in my lap just to avoid eye contact with him.

He explains “Brooke has never really given me the full story, she hasn’t said a word about it after that day at the station. I have only been picking up bits and pieces of it all by the way you are acting. I need to ask one more question”

I say quietly “Of course”

He asks with caution “Did she know about how you felt about me before….Before…” He is trying to search for the right words “Well, you know what I’m trying to say”

I just nod my head “She did know. She used to give me shit over it”

I ask him “Why did you need to know that?”

He admits “I have been having doubts about my relationship with Brooke. I don’t know if I want to be with a person who would do that to her best friend”

I finally give him eye contact, I did not expect to hear that from him. I told him “Don’t break up with her because of me, I don’t want anything to do with it, hence why I wanted to keep my distance”

He snaps “Do you think I wanted to be in the position I am in? I didn’t ask to get between two best friends” then adds with sarcasm “But here I am”

Immediately after he says that he regrets it “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. This isn’t your fault, I won’t be breaking up with her because of you. She has just shown what kind of person she really is, I don’t like that person”

I just nod my head.

He changes the topic “So you really are moving to Australia”

I just nod my head. I start to cry. I am going to miss him.

He asks “Why are you crying? It’s not too late to change you mind if that’s the reason”

I sob harder, he brings me into a tight hug. While sobbing I say “It will only be you keeping me here. I can’t do that to you. I’m going to miss you”

He says “I’m not going to try and convince you to stay if you really feel like you need to go, but I will let you know, I’m more than ok with being the only one that keeps you here”

I lift my head to look at him “Why would you be ok with it?”

He says “I want you stay”

I am now in two minds. I want to stay because of Seth, but after being burned by one single person before, I don’t want to change a major decision I have made because of one person.

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[roogerriffic]

All or Nothing - Chapter 2

After a huge day, Brooke and I are still at the hospital just after getting our last patient in the care of the doctors and nurses. We are just about to walk out when I see Seth sitting with his back against the wall in the corridor.

I tell Brooke “I will be back shortly”

I walk down the corridor and sit next to him.

I gently say “Hey Seth”

He looks at me, confused, he asks “I don’t think I have met you before”

I smile “I was kinda expecting you wouldn’t remember me, I am Alina, I was the paramedic who treated you for shock at the scene of the accident. My partner, Brooke helped your family while I was treating you”

He gave a weak smile “Thankyou”

I reply “You are most welcome, how are your family doing?”

He quietly responds “My Dad and nieces are being admitted for a few days for observation” He pauses and sighs “My sister is a bit more serious. They expect her to make a full recovery, but her stay in here will be longer”

I tell him “That’s great news. That’s the best news you could get”

His brow furrows, he’s deep in thought. He eventually says “You are right, I never looked at it that way. Thankyou”

I smile “No worries, I better get going. Brooke is waiting for me. I will see you around”

He smiles softly “See you around”

I get back on my feet and head towards Brooke.

A week later, Brooke and myself are at the station. We are sitting down at the table getting a few loose ends tied up with some paperwork. It’s 2pm which means only 1 hour to go. Time is going so slow today because there’s nothing much happening. Out of nowhere I hear a familiar voice talking to my boss from what sounds like from out the front of the station. I get up out of my seat slowly and start making my way out the front.

Brooke asks “Where are you going?”

I quickly turn around put my finger up to my lips “Shhhh”

She asks “What?”

I ignore her and slowly make my way closer. Brooke follows me. I find a spot just on the other side of the door where I can hear and see them perfectly but they can’t see me.

I hear Seth talking about he was in the accident last week and Brooke and I were the paramedics that attended to him and his family and he wanted to say thankyou to us. I’m thinking that’s weird. He has already thanked me. The boss calls out “Brooke, Alina, you are wanted out the front”

I take my time going through the door so I don’t let on that I was listening to everything. I walk through the door, Brooke follows me. I see Seth and Cheerily I say “Hey Seth, how are you?”

He smiles “I’m going well. How are you?”

I say “Good, thankyou. What brings you here”

He says “Well, I just wanted to come in and personally thank you and Brooke for everything that you did for my family and myself that day” he pauses and looks at me in the eyes “Thankyou Alina” then he looks at Brooke “You must be Brooke”

Brooke nods her head

He says “Thankyou”

He hands Brooke and I a voucher. He says “I know it’s only a voucher for coffee, but I didn’t know what to get you to show some appreciation without being creepy” he slightly chuckles at himself.

I smile “Thankyou Seth, it’s more than enough and you are welcome”

Brooke says “Thanks. That’s so nice of you to do that” Seth and I make eye contact again. This time it was like something hit me, suddenly I realise just how gorgeous he is. I tried to shake the thought, but it didn’t go anywhere.

Without thinking I ask him “Do you have any plans in an hour?”

He looks at me and says “No, why?”

I reply “Brooke and I are going for a coffee after we finish work in an hour, why don’t you join us and we will use the vouchers you gave us”

He smiles “Ok then, I will meet you there, see you in an hour”

Brooke says to Seth “See you then”

I say to Seth “See you later”

As soon as Seth walked out the door, Brooke shoots me the dirtiest look because I just dragged her into this.

3pm comes around and our shift has ended. We leave for the Café as soon as our shift is done. On the way Brooke scrutinises me “So why did you ask him to have a coffee with us?”

I tell her “He didn’t have to get us anything, the least we can do is show him that it really is appreciated”

She scoffs “That’s a copout excuse, you are attracted to him”

I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am “That isn’t it at all, I am being nice”

She laughs “I know you, you have the same taste in men as do I, if I find him attractive, chances are you do too and I know that’s the reason you suggested we go for a coffee with him”

Shocked again “Wait, What? You find him attractive?”

She smiles “Yes I do. I have no idea why you would drag me into it though”

When we get there, Seth isn’t there yet so Brooke and I find a table inside. Half hour later he decides to show up.

As he is sitting down he explains “Sorry I’m late. I was at the hospital with my sister and lost track of time”

Brooke says “We were beginning to wonder if you will show up. How is everyone doing anyways”

He replies “Rachael will be out of hospital in 2 days, so that’s good to hear. My dad and nieces are fine. Other than the scar on my dad’s head, you wouldn’t know it happened”

I say “Wow, that is great news”

I ask him “So how have you been going?”

He says “I was only kept in hospital until the doctors were certain I was over the shock”

Brooke asks “So what caused the accident. When Alina and I got there, the scene was just heartbreaking, we haven’t seen anything like it before”

He shrugs his shoulders “I have no idea, all I remember was that my car was hit by an out of control car, which pushed me into another car’s path”

Brooke says “Jeez, that’s crazy. Change of topic, we need our coffees”

I agree with Brooke “Yes, we need our coffees”

Just then, it really hit Brooke and I who Seth really was because a couple of fans asked Seth for a photo and an autograph. We already knew who he was, but just by talking to him, you never would know. He hasn’t once brought up what he does for work. One of the fans asked Brooke and I “Do you mind taking the photo for us?

I reply “Of course not” One fan handed their phone to Brooke and the other fan handed their phone to me.

After the photos were taken and the fans had left, Seth smiles shyly and blushes a little “Sorry about that, it kinda comes with the job”

I say “It’s fine, we aren’t bothered by it at all”

After we had finished at the café, all of us thought it would be nice to make it a regular thing, Brooke and I exchanged phone numbers with Seth.

The months pass by, we have kept the coffee date a regular thing. I found myself crushing on Seth but I hid it well from him. He had no idea meanwhile Brooke picked up on it and would give me hell over it.

I started my shift half an hour ago, Brooke should have been here too, she hasn’t even messaged me to tell me she is going to be late. I hear her voice and Seth’s voice out the front. I go out the front to at least say hello to Seth. What I see tore my heart into a million tiny pieces and filled my body with anger. Brooke and Seth are holding hands and kissed each other goodbye. Moments later they realised I was there, they looked at me.

Tears start to form in my eyes, I get choked up. I ask Brooke “How could you?”

She just stood there like a deer in headlights.

Seth looks confused and asks Brooke “Did I miss something?”

Something snapped in Brooke and she says in a joking tone “Oh she’s just jealous of us because she has a huge crush on you”

Pure venom filled my words “You are a fucking piece of shit friend. I will be requesting a new partner. You a dead to me”

Seth is looking awkward now. He says “I better go” and walks out towards the car park.

Brooke yells at me “You weren’t going to do anything about it, I felt the same way, so I did something about it. Last I checked this was a free country”

I yell back “If I knew you felt the same way, I would have gotten over my feelings and stayed away. I wouldn’t hurt you like you did me. As I said before, you are now dead to me”

The boss comes up to Brooke and I. He isn’t happy “Brooke. Alina. My office now”

We follow him to his office. He holds the door open for us the shuts it behind him.

He raises his voice “I do not know what this is about, I do not want to know what this is about, but it has to stop right now”

I snap “I wish to request a new partner, Sir”

He looks at Brooke and says “You are free to go now, I need to discuss this further with Alina”

She nods her head and walks out.

He says to me “Are you sure you want a new partner? I know you and Brooke are good friends, every friendship has fights”

I reply “Yes I am positive I want a new partner. This isn’t just a disagreement or a fight that every friendship has”

He says “Well, ok then. Finding a new partner won’t be that easy. You will have to keep with Brooke until that happens”

I tell him “I really don’t think I can do that. I have holidays owing to me, can I take them until you find a new partner for me?”

He chuckles slightly “You know I need more notice than that. Finish this week off, you can start holidays next week. I am sorry, I can’t do any better than that”

I am disappointed and my voice shows it “Yes Sir, thankyou”

He replies “You’re welcome. You are free to go”

I walk out the door. All I can think about is how much I am going to hate the rest of this week.

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