rookiefostermomma

[rookiefostermomma]

Just sharing here in case anyone is interested in helping #clearthelist.

I am changing schools/districts/categories after 23 years and it is no easy feat.

I am also stepping into a classroom of special needs kiddos that has obviously been neglected for years - so I am pretty much starting from scratch.

It is 1:00 a.m. and here I am. Stressing to the point of no sleep. Trying to figure out how in the world I am get it all done. And how I am going to provide everything that they need.

So if you are interested and able - I am including my list below. Every little bit helps.

And thank you for helping me breathe new life into this program of amazing kids.

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/22PXDGH7FC678?ref_=wl_share

[rookiefostermomma]

We have survived snowmegedon so far. (In NE Texas).

We lost water, but kept electric. I was realllllyy worried about that part - because I had a gas leak in September and didn’t spend the $$$ to repair the gas fireplace - because, well, we live in Texas and it wasn’t a necessity. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Kicking myself for that decision about now.

Thankfully - you can still flush a toilet with melted snow.

Even with heat - we woke to frozen pipes and sheets of ice on the INSIDE of the windows. Because the heat just couldn’t keep up - we had to go get in the car a couple of times at night to warm up. But that run back into the house kinds defeated the purpose. 😂

I’ve never seen this much snow or lower temps in my 45 years - and likely won’t again.

The roads are still impossible to drive on. And I’m terrified my carport is going to collapse under the weight of 20 inches of snow on my car. But I’m equally afraid that if I try to move it - by backing it down my sloped driveway - I will slide into my neighbors house. 😬🤷‍♀️😬

I’m also worried about busted pipes as things begin to unthaw. Lots of anxiety here!

💯 worried about my students. Reports of days without electricity, collapsing roofs, flooded houses, no food or water. I just need the roads to clear so we can get back to school and feed them and warm them up!

[rookiefostermomma]

Learning how to provide Remote Learning to emotionally disturbed students.

Learning to juggle In person learning & remote simultaneously.

Falling and getting a concussion.

Kid having an adverse med reaction nd ending up in the ER.

Missing the first day of school in 20 years (due to said kid).

Cat getting attacked by something.

Crappy vet almost killing cat.

2nd vet saved cat to the tune of $400.

Covid precautions mean my kids can’t hang with me after school.

Said kids will now cost me $600 a month in after school care.

A hurricane warning has cancelled school - in the middle of north east Texas!!!!

This is all in the past 2 weeks. I am OVER IT. I don’t want to adult anymore.

Go away 2020.

[rookiefostermomma]

Tumblr peeps - y’all showed out. Thank you so much for your support. I am so excited to be able to provide my kiddos with their own sensory bins! I will be forever grateful.

This has been an expensive start up. If anyone wants to help - we still need 3 more items to complete the sets!

Again, Thank you!!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1TQ7YQG00OHGQ?ref_=wl_share

[rookiefostermomma]

Sharing one last time to see if there are any tumblrs who feel led to help build sensory boxes for my classroom. I appreciate those who have helped out already. Beyond sharing the financial burden - it’s nice to know that there are others in this world that are willing to help out kids they will never know!

Obviously, I am terrible at posting. But we are still here! I check in once a day to keep up with my foster care peeps.

I go back to work this week - and the restrictions on my special education- behavior classroom have me stressed out! Like - how in the world am I going to keep everyone safe??

But the reality is, I teach a poor, underserved, almost forgotten community of kids. And I have worried myself sick about them. So I am excited to see them.

I am posting a classroom wishlist below because the most used items in my classroom are our sensory items. They use these when upset, frustrated, over stimulated, trying to focus or in recovery from a crisis.

But we will not be able to share a class set of these items because of the stupid corona.

So I am trying to make each kid their own bin.

My district does not allow us to share wishlists or funding requests on social media. We can’t even apply for donors choose or adopt a classroom. 😩. They don’t want to give the community the impression that they are not providing for the teachers. 🤦‍♀️ So I am turning to tumblr for help.

If you would like to help a great group of kiddos (K-5) and a fellow foster mom / teacher out - please check out my wishlist below!

Also - if you do purchase something - please let me know so I can update my list!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1TQ7YQG00OHGQ?ref_=wl_share

[rookiefostermomma]

Obviously, I am terrible at posting. But we are still here! I check in once a day to keep up with my foster care peeps.

I go back to work this week - and the restrictions on my special education- behavior classroom have me stressed out! Like - how in the world am I going to keep everyone safe??

But the reality is, I teach a poor, underserved, almost forgotten community of kids. And I have worried myself sick about them. So I am excited to see them.

I am posting a classroom wishlist below because the most used items in my classroom are our sensory items. They use these when upset, frustrated, over stimulated, trying to focus or in recovery from a crisis.

But we will not be able to share a class set of these items because of the stupid corona.

So I am trying to make each kid their own bin.

My district does not allow us to share wishlists or funding requests on social media. We can’t even apply for donors choose or adopt a classroom. 😩. They don’t want to give the community the impression that they are not providing for the teachers. 🤦‍♀️ So I am turning to tumblr for help.

If you would like to help a great group of kiddos (K-5) and a fellow foster mom / teacher out - please check out my wishlist below!

Also - if you do purchase something - please let me know so I can update my list!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1TQ7YQG00OHGQ?ref_=wl_share

[rookiefostermomma]

Forget you, Friday.

I am defeated. Exhausted. At my breaking point. MK has been raging for a week and I hate who I have become in response to her.

I am bruised, physically and emotionally. She has broken her dresser, her door frame (not the door, but actually ripped the frame loose from the wall). She has said horrible, awful things to me & MB. Smeared food and po .op on her bedroom walls.

I cry every time she starts up because I just want to run away. Which means I cry most of the night. And every morning because getting her up and out the door is pure he.ll And I feel so guilty.

I am more than just considering residential treatment. For my EIGHT year old y’all. 8. Years. Old.

Oh, and a tree fell on my house today. So there’s that.

I really need life to ease the eff up on me.

[rookiefostermomma]

It’s still 105 in Texas, so bike rides don’t last long. But they rode the wheels off their little kid bikes (literally) so it was time for an upgrade. The bikes they picked show their little personalities perfectly. We had to get 20 inch bikes! When did my babies get so big?!?!

[rookiefostermomma]

Happy Mother’s Day to all us single moms with small kids that have to buy our own Mother’s Day gifts. 😂 Go buy yourself something great!!

[rookiefostermomma]

Last day of spring break and I am on a mad dash to get the house straightened up, laundry done and meals organized for next week.

We have gone NON stop for 8 days and I am BEAT!

Play date with A&B, slumber party with C, A Wrinkle in Time, 1st Justice shopping trip, hotel stay with swimming and room service for dinner (a first and last) zoo with cousins, sleepover with cousins (extended ones that they’ve never met), 3 different parks, cookout with extended family, cookout with sisters family, lunch with entire family for nieces bday.

It was fun- but I am ready for our routine!

Thing 1 did pretty well with all the chaos. No huge meltdowns and redirected fairly easily. I really was proud of here.

We had a med change and after 2 days I called the psych in tears and asked to put her back on her previous med/dose. We increased it because although she was doing well behaviorally, her attention span was zilch and she was still failing. But the increased dose made her aggressive and ANGRY.

So back to happy and manageable. But failing miserably.

[rookiefostermomma]

Thank goodness for do overs....

It was a rough morning in our house. I was a horrible mother. My child was wretched. We were late for school. And all three bawled our eyes out.

I told Thing 1 she couldn’t go to gymnastics tonight. Which was stupid. Because she needs it for sensory input. And social interaction. And her confidence.

So on the way I told her I changed my mind. That we both were wrong this morning so we were starting over brand new.

Thing 1 replied - “like start our whole life over brand new? whew. Thank goodness we can start over. But sad for you. Cause when you start over today - you’ll still be old.”

😂🤦‍♀️😂 Thanks kid.

[rookiefostermomma]

Therapy for 3...

Therapy for Thing 1 has morphed into family therapy for all 3 of us. And I HATE it. The office is hot as hell, tiny and right after I’ve spent the entire day with a room full of emotionally disturbed students.

Hell. No. I don’t wanna.

Plus- it was the only 60 minutes every two weeks that Thing 1 and I spent apart. And it was heaven.

I had about 30-45 minutes to go get gas, run to the pharmacy, pick up dinner without having to redirect someone every 2.5 seconds and dole out a consequence every 5 minutes.

You think I am exaggerating?? I can’t remember the last time we made it through the grocery store without her having to sit in time out or go to her room as we get home.

I can’t be the only mom that plops a little but down and ignore a kid for 5 minutes even if they are licking the damn floor for attention???

If I’m feeling especially spiteful - I do it in the freezer aisle so she freezes her little ass off while she “thinks about it.” 😂

I swear I love my kid. But jeez, she may be the death of me.

[rookiefostermomma]

I had this fairytale in my head of how foster care would go.

I thought I would be the supportive, pro reunification foster mom that would be the bios biggest alli.

But I wasn’t. First 2 kiddos mom went to jail. And the 2nd refused to work her service plan - even after a year of extensions. So I was left jaded by the system.

I ended up adopting my last two placements (twins). So I had a new fairytale. To be this progressive, supportive, adoptive mom who encourages a relationship with her kiddos mom. She wasn’t abusive or a drug user - so I didn’t have any safety concerns. And I know it is in the best interests of the kids to support those relationships when possible.

I have ALWAYS told my kids that they will always have 2 moms. That it is okay to love 2 moms. That loving 1 doesn’t mean you stop loving the other. I really think that talking about this from the get go helped us bond and move forward after termination.

I have allowed video messages for the 1st year and send her pics at least once a month. I was hoping to move towards visits.

But after meeting with their 1st mom yesterday, I’m not sure what to do.

She is ANGRY. Not at herself... Not at the system... At me. She is in a new relationship and so she has a place to live. And wants her kids back.

I really thought we were meeting (at her request) to discuss how to move forward with her in our lives. To move towards visits and Bday parties.

But no. She has a friend who knows someone and she thinks she has a good chance at getting all her kids back. And is very angry that I wouldn’t agree to a visit next week. And is angry that I am consulting their therapist on visits. Because “they shouldn’t need that anymore.”

She also asked me to give access to the FB account I set up for pics and such of the girls with some of her family members.

Two of the names she gave me are registered sex offenders. When I told her I was not comfortable with this - she insisted they were falsely accused.

Other things were said and I walked away so discouraged. She doesn’t seem to be in touch with reality and now I’m not sure we will ever get that open adoption relationship for the girls.

[rookiefostermomma]

Yessss! I walk this line with Thing 1 also. She has been through some horrific things. And they explain why she acts/reacts the was she does - but she still has to be held accountable for her negative behaviors. And to learn coping skills.

How do you articulate to Emma that her mental illness/trauma/etc aren't her fault, while still helping her be accountable for her behavior? I have similar issues to hers (am a healthy/thriving adult!) and while my parents did their absolute best, I wish they'd done more of the former.

I really struggle with this so I am open to any advice.

Basically, my line with Emma is that her past and (potential/probable) mental illness can be an explanation for feelings but not an excuse for behavior. I do give her a lot of grace as well - but ultimately I know I am raising an adult who will need to function in society, at work, with her peers and colleagues and partners and a 25 year old raging because they dropped their scone or spilled water or is asked to do a simple task they don’t feel like doing isn’t going to get a lot of compassion no matter what their past is. It’s a fine line and a hard balance to juggle. I don’t want her to ever feel like she’s at fault for her past or her mental illness but I DO want her to take responsibility for her behavior, utilize all of the tools and resources she has learned and that are available and ultimately manage her own reactions and self.

[rookiefostermomma]

Dashing through the --- slush??? Yeah, in Texas, you get slush, not snow. But my kids don't know any better, so they were thrilled! Started the morning playing in the snow. Collected/ate it all in about 20 minutes. Then the thrill was over. Went to our first basketball game and it was hilarious. Thing 1 stood in the middle of the court staring at me and mouthing "what do I do?" While both teams ran up and down the court. Thing 2 ran around "guarding" anyone near her. Even her own teammates. Then lunch with my sister and niece. My sister took the Things home with her for the night. They left with a bag of clothes, a bag of dress up clothes, 2 bags of toys and a bag with their singing machine. 😂😂😂 I went to target and took apart a bed that we are replacing. I am laying in bead watching law and order. Must get up and go to the grocery store. Love ❤️ the weekend!!! Oh - and I am down 13 lbs!!!

[rookiefostermomma]

The news has been talking about snow for a week. We never get snow - only ice. The Things have been so excited. You can see/feel it falling - but it isn't sticking anywhere. This is them "playing in the snow." They are so desperate they are scraping it off the car. And yes, I had to actually say, "STOP LICKING THE CAR!"

[rookiefostermomma]

Court

Well, I was wrong. Court could have gone 5 different ways. Dad was a no show so we go back on the 19th. I used to read fosterhood at think "wow, NYC foster care is jacked up." Texas doesn't play around - a year is all you get. Oh, how wrong I was....