rosaliamorais

[rosaliamorais]

ivyleagves·:

rosalia’s fingers in her hair had her feeling some type of way.

“…thanks.”

a smirk pulled at ivy’s lips as she watched the other girl twist her faded pink locks. the eye contact was searing but she refused to look away. rosalia from next door was pretty bold after all, huh? and then, just as quickly as it appeared, rosalia’s hand retracted back, elbowing the wall, and ivy couldn’t help herself, placing gentle fingers on the girl’s upper arm. “yeah, there’s a wall there.” she laughed softly, shaking her head before pulling her hand away and turning towards her bedroom door.

she caught one last glance of libby outside, dutifully pestering the cable company, and as much as she wanted her best friend to meet their neighbor, she selfishly hoped that it might be a while before libby was able to get off the phone. it wasn’t that she wished for libby to be left on hold for any longer, but there was a part of her that really wanted to be left alone with rosalia from next door. and maybe, if she was lucky, rosalia would want to be left alone with her, too.

ivy watched as her companion stopped short at the door, then took careful steps - i knew i should’ve cleaned some of this up, damn it - into the room, and stopped again. the girl’s words brought a sudden heat to ivy’s face, and she cast her gaze to the floor as she let her hair fall around her cheeks like a curtain, trying and ostensibly failing to hide the deep pink that resided there. “oh- um, thank you.” it was a stark contrast to the attitude she often donned, but she simply didn’t know how to take compliments about her art. it was one of the few things in life she actually cared about enough to put effort into, and having it appreciated was always a strange experience for her. still, though, she was glad that the reaction she was getting was a positive one.

relief finally flooded over her when she heard rosalia mentioning the specific colors of one of the pieces. the technical bits, now that was something she could handle. “oh, yeah!” like her fumble never happened, she was hopping over sketchbooks and paintings to stand next to the brunette. “yeah, that one.” her eyes scanned over it for a moment. a simple landscape painted with completely incorrect colors - purple trees against a yellow sky, a pink lake, orange mountains. “i was going to just use ink for this one, but after i sketched out the lines it was just so boring. so, this happened.” she gestured loosely towards it, shrugging a bit.

“i’m glad you like it, because there’s a shit-ton of them and i’m starting to think it’s going to take me forever to get them all up.” she picked up the one closest to her - a black and red ink portrait of holden - and held it up away from her, trying to see how it might look once it was put up. “i don’t have any real sort of plan here, so.. i guess we can just start command strip-ing these on the wall and take it from there.” she quickly retrieved a new container of command strips from a box underneath her haphazardly-made bed.

“sorry to, like… invite you in only to put you to work.” she smiled at the other girl as she pulled the container open, taking a handful of the strips out to work with. “you just seem like the type of person who might know how to organize all my shit.” ivy rolled her eyes at her own dysfunction. “but if you do wanna stop, just let me know, and we can do… something else.”

she’d completely stopped breathing. the moment ivy’s eyes met her own she was a goner, melting into her spot with an entirely new, gentle and wanting all at once. she found herself biting the inside of her lip, swallowing in anticipation of a moment that wouldn’t come. a startled laugh manages to escape her lips at ivy’s touch, warm and exciting and like no one else who’d ever laid a hand on her. it was disturbing and intoxicating, and she was beginning to realize she was in way over her head.

rosa broke into an uncontrollable grin the second she noticed her words of praise had made the other woman blush. while it certainly hadn’t been her intention, it was surely an added bonus to the day so far. “what, you’re not used to positive reviews?” her voice was caught between bewilderment and a teasing tone, “i have an incredibly hard time picturing that. you have a magnificent talent.”

she crouched just behind ivy, her shoulder pressed lightly into the blonde’s back, her breath most likely warming ivy’s neck from where she hovered, studying the painting just as her new friend did. she found herself snorting incredulously at the other’s last words on the piece. “as if you could create anything boring.” she paused, waiting for ivy to turn her face toward her. “interesting people make interesting things. that’s why you made this. anyone with less of an eye would’ve just gone through with their original plan. don’t sell yourself short.”

rosa smiled at the mention of an over abundance. “i’d always gladly take some off your hands. how much do you sell these for, anyway?” she picked up another colorful piece, delicately held in her hands as she scanned the walls for a nice place to put it. “right, good plan. do the work first, organization later.” she held out an expectant hand, waiting until the box was firmly in her palm.

“oh, please. you’ll come to find i’m all work and no play.” a mischievous blush bloomed over her face as she turned away, shrugging nonchalantly. “you know, most of the time anyway.” with that she threw a cautious glance over her shoulder, bottom lip captured between her teeth as she gauged ivy’s reaction. “maybe we can get this done and then do something else. whatever that ends up being.”

[rosaliamorais]

ivyleagves·:

she looked a little shaken, ivy had thought absentmindedly. clearly, contrary to what ivy had previously thought, her new neighbor had no clue what she was saying while she was saying it - but she sure as hell recognized it now. she was blushing, a bright red blooming across her cheeks, and a small part of ivy took delight in knowing that her reaction was what caused it. she wouldn’t mind if she was able to make her blush more often. but rosalia from next door didn’t exactly seem like the type to jump into any sort of irrational hookup, anyway. ivy should move on from those thoughts.

and then she was giggling. all ivy could do was stare, a smile pulling at her lips as she watched the girl before her. did she know how endearing her laugh was? or how radiant her smile was? ivy didn’t have time to dwell on her thoughts, because then she was speaking again. “you know, i like you.” ivy nodded affirmatively. “glad we’re on the same page.” rosalia from next door seemed to almost forget about the cookies in her hand. “so there is something i should tell you about these,” and then a pause and ivy cocked an eyebrow. bringing your new neighbor weed cookies on their first day here was a bold move-

“they’re vegan.”

oh my god. vegan. not laced with marijuana. vegan. ivy smiled as the brunette gave her spiel, mostly finding humor in her own stupid assumption. ivy took the cookies as they were offered to her. “no, that’s perfect - i’m vegan too.” with the exception of some alcohol, which she never bothered to check, of course. but she didn’t exactly feel like this was the right time to mention that. ivy watched rosalia from next door consider her options and ultimately decide to accept her invitation to come in. she’d love to. “cool.” she closed the door behind the two of them as they made their way inside.

as the other girl’s wave of compliments crashed over her, ivy couldn’t help but chuckle. “oh, thanks. i did it to piss off my parents.” she brought a hand to the pale pink ends of her hair, momentarily lost in thought. her father hadn’t been there to see it, naturally, but mother was certainly mortified when ivy returned home with half a head of bright pink hair. her companion’s voice brought her back to reality. “female empowerment seminars, huh? you’d definitely like my roommate, libby. she’s…” a quick glance revealed that libby had let herself out the back, still dutifully on the phone. 

“she’s calling the cable company right now. but you need to meet her eventually. she’s basically the best human to ever grace the face of the earth.” ivy didn’t feel like she could ever over-hype libby. “wanna help me set up my room?” she didn’t wait for a response before changing the subject. she could see through her open doorway out of the corner of her eye, and the disorganization was driving her crazy. “i’ve got a ton of shit to put up on my wall,” she began, leading the other girl towards her room. “it’s basically just, like… a bunch of art, and i know it looks pretty shitty right now, but i think once it’s all up it’ll look cool.” ivy sighed distractedly, tearing her gaze from the pieces of art scattered across her bed and floor back to her companion.

“at least, that’s what i’m hoping.”

the smile that crossed her face at the affirmation of another vegan friend-- ivy was vegan! and she totally had the vibe, now that she thought about it-- could only be described as thrilled. “you’re so cool--” wait, no, that wasn’t what she meant, “i mean. that’s so cool. i’m sorry for ranting about veganism, then. it’s just that, usually, when i say the word around meat eaters, they’ll shrivel up and scamper away like a vampire in the sunlight.” how... how had she managed to be this weird within seven minutes? 

rosa reluctantly noted the way stepping across this threshold, into what was practically a duplicate of her own home, made her feel the most alive she’d felt in a while. the idea of leaving all of her plans to the wind in order to be here, with this complete stranger, was exhilarating. she’s almost positive she’d never done anything the likes of it before in her life. even in grade school no play dates or birthday parties came before her academics. she wasn’t sure why she’d always felt that way. or why this girl seemed to override twenty years of complete self-discipline. the click of the door shutting set her pulse racing. this must be what it feels like for all rule breakers, she thinks. at least now she can almost understand the appeal.

something incredibly, undeniably stupid forces rosalia to raise a hand to wrap a piece of the pink hair around her fingers, a small smile resting on her lips before she could realize how absolutely creepy she must have seemed. “well, i’m sure they deserved it. even if they didn’t, you look awesome, so you win both ways.” as if she’d only just noticed what she was doing, the brunette dropped her hand and stepped back, elbowing the wall in her recoil. her innermost desire to hiss why at an exaggeratedly slow speed as she fell to the floor in turmoil since this was literally the worst first impression she’d ever made was only circumvented by her desperation to not look any worse for the rest of the visit. so, instead, she shook out her hand and put on another grin. that was god’s corporal punishment for her being such a freak. “ow. i’m sorry.”

she follows ivy’s gaze to the backdoor, and if she weren’t monitoring her weird factor for the rest of the day, she would’ve dashed outside to let her in on all of rosa’s favorite loopholes in the standard contract. she was, after all, one of the only people on campus with 200 extra channels and a $30 monthly discount. she’d have to make a note for her. “i look forward to it, if that’s the case.” the names of every nobel peace prize since its founding in 1901 appear in her mind at the idea of the best person ever to grace the earth, but she couldn’t say libby wouldn’t win one eventually, so she saw no reason to bring it up. she readjusted her course to follow the blonde into her room, curiosity thrumming at the mention of artwork. of course she was an artist.

she stopped at the doorway, as if she feared getting any closer to the paintings scattered across the room. which, to be fair, she was. she wasn’t used to seeing anything so beautiful be so open, within arms length. such paintings surely belonged more on a museum’s walls, with velvet rope warding off any unwelcome touch. “i--” she began, before she came to the conclusion she had nothing else to say. finally, she’d been rendered speechless. “ivy, these are...” careful, strategic steps carried her into the room, still carefully situated away from the canvases, “these are remarkable. i don’t understand what you mean by saying anything in here looks... bad.” she hated to curse. “aside from the wild disorganization, anyway. seriously, you have an extraordinary talent.” gift was such a ridiculous word. to get to where this art level was, she knew ivy had to have worked for it. saying it was simply a gift bestowed upon her wouldn’t do ivy or her work justice. “i love the way you used contrasting colors in this one. it’s almost jarring, but when you look closer it’s so well-defined and on purpose.”

[rosaliamorais]

ivyleagves‌:

“jesus, lib, that last box weighed, like, a hundred pounds. you brought way too many books.” ivy sighed, throwing herself down on their newly-integrated couch. she hated moving. living in a new place, it was exciting and all, but it took all day, and ivy didn’t feel like she had that time to waste. she should be out having fun before school started again and she would inevitably end up drowning in homework she’d never do.

libby didn’t respond to her complaint, but ivy hadn’t expected her to. always the problem-solver, she was already on the phone with the cable company to inquire why their dvr wasn’t working yet. the pair truly differed in many ways, but ivy supposed that was the reason they worked so well together. they’d always been each others’ complement.

now that everything was finally in the house, ivy quickly went to work unpacking her room. her bed was first; she figured the white comforter would be the base upon which she’d build up the decor. the walls were next. apart from a tall mirror, what she had brought was far too much art, so much that they would undoubtedly overlap. many pieces were her own, but there were a couple nice ones she had brought from home.

she was in the middle of trying to figure out the best arrangement for the artwork when she heard the knock on the door. “i’ve got it!” ivy jogged over to get it before libby could multitask herself into oblivion. she didn’t really know who to expect - the landlord, maybe? - but the unfamiliar girl she found standing in front of her was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

shit.

this girl was cute. really cute. like, let’s-make-out-in-the-bathroom-after-one-drink cute. ivy pushed the thought away as the girl introduced herself and instead shot her a small smile as she shook her hand. but this girl - rosalia from next door - didn’t stop there. no, she didn’t stop for a while. ivy didn’t mind. she liked the sound of her voice, and she was cute when she was nervous. why she’d be nervous in the first place, ivy had no clue. she didn’t find herself to be particularly intimidating.

“…or, if you’re a cannibal, a humble gesture to say i’m not as tasty as i may seem…” ivy cocked an eyebrow, her tiny smile pulled into smirk. she did not just say that. there was no way that wasn’t intentional. maybe the nerves were an act, and rosalia from next door was just here to mess with her. “fuck republicans.” not an appropriate response by any means, but then, ivy had never cared much about what was deemed appropriate by others.

her next question pulled a small laugh from ivy. “slim to none. but i might consider it if those cookies are any good.” she stepped to the side, running a hand through her hair, the ends of which were still a pale, bubblegum pink from when she’d dyed it over the summer. it was a seemingly absentminded movement, but anyone who knew her well could identify it as a nervous tic. “wanna come inside?” an invitation that she was dying for rosalia from next door to take her up on. “i’m ivy, by the way.”

the look of embarrassment on her features melted into one of confusion as she watched the woman in front of her go from smiling to smirking within a second. oh, no. what did i say? with a furrowed brow and a shift of her feet, rosa ran back over her words, sentence by sentence. the moment she caught onto the joke, her face darkened as a furious blush ran across her features. she averted her gaze immediately, the beginnings of a mortified apology on the tip of her tongue. she’d just drawn in a deep breath, ready to explain herself, when the blonde in front of her finally responded. and, to rosa’s absolute relief, didn’t mention her unfortunate freudian slip. fuck republicans. that was it. her entire reply. two words were enough to force rosalia to laugh, a quiet snort slipping in between giggles. she was sure she sounded unhinged, thanks to the odd combination of nerves, relief, and genuine humor that made up her sudden break in demeanor. it took her longer than usual to regain her composure, shoulders straightening as she suppressed anymore laughter with a bright smile. she nodded firmly, her expression resolute, as though she’d just made an important decision. “you know, i like you.” the mention of cookies brought her back to her senses, the girl seeming almost surprised by the mention of the tin in her hand. she’d already forgotten her entire reason for being there. she cleared her throat, eyes remaining on the other woman as she pulled her mouth into the slightest hint of a frown. “so there is something i should tell you about these,” there was a pause, a sigh, before she went on. “they’re vegan.” her hands came up in a preemptive defense of the sweets, “i promise, vegan isn’t a bad thing. for some reason everyone thinks it is. but, i swear, i wouldn’t subject anyone to my mother’s cooking or baking if i didn’t try it firsthand. you’ll like them.” she fell into a thoughtful silence. “but, even if you don’t, you should pretend you do so i get another chance to introduce myself without sounding crazy.” she’d just prepared herself, however begrudgingly, to hand the container over and make a break for it when the offer to come in was extended. she stopped to think, considering her already-packed schedule for the rest of the afternoon, running over her list of responsibilities with pursed lips. if she stayed, she would miss out on quite a few of her plans. it wasn’t the best look for someone with hopes to become the captain of the debate team by the end of the month. and yet, for perhaps the first time in years, it was an easy decision to make. “i’d love to.” somehow, stepping through the door was more nerve-inducing than anything that had come before. another smile came to her lips anyway. “it’s nice to meet you, ivy. i like your name. oh! and your hair. your sense of humor, too.” please, please stop complimenting her, you sound like a stalker. “sorry. apparently i’ve been listening to too many female empowerment seminars. i just can’t stop spreading positivity.”

[rosaliamorais]

@ivyleagves​

rosa felt really, really good about this. she settled into the familiarity of the already decorated house, in her already decorated room, basking in the fact that she hadn’t had to unpack anything but newer clothes since her first day of freshman year. a stable living situation was nothing to scoff at-- especially not around ashmont. and she’d been even more fortunate to have kept a steady roommate, knowing that even if they weren’t the best of friends, they were reliable. it was comforting to have so little changing as she started each new school year. she smiled, content, as she parted the curtains over her window with a curious glance out to the road. she remained fairly certain she could predict who would be arriving to their villas and when, if the last two years were any indication of her neighbors’ schedules. perhaps her confidence in the consistency of everyone around her was in part to blame for the way she reacted to seeing two unfamiliar faces making their way into the house just next door to her own. with a slackened jaw and a confused stare following the girls until they’d disappeared inside, rosa decided she’d be the first to welcome them to the... er, did this count as a neighborhood? student-exclusive residential cul-de-sac. armed with a bright smile and the tin loaded with chocolate chip cookies her mother had insisted upon gifting her, the brunette was out her front door and in front of theirs within the minute. she knocked on the door and bounced on her heels expectantly, only for her polite smile to freeze on her face once the door opened. her thoughts were suddenly abandoned at her feet, splayed on the sidewalk she stood upon. holy hell, this girl was pretty. no, pretty didn’t even begin to cover it. holy. hell. rosa, regain your composure. you look so creepy right now. her words came back to her slowly, as she offered the stranger her free hand to shake. “hi there! i’m rosalia morais. i live in the house next to yours, and it’s been a while since i’ve seen any new faces moving into one of these places, so i figured i’d come say hi. ensure i’m not suddenly living to hannibal lecter, or a republican... but, in case you are either of those things, i’ve also brought cookies as a preemptive apology. or, if you’re a cannibal, a humble gesture to say i’m not as tasty as i may seem.” had she just said all of that... in one breath? jesus, she was about to faint. “i’m so sorry... i have no idea why i’m talking so much. i’m not used to gorgeous neighbors.”

and then, of course, after hearing her words again, rosa was sure she’d rather the earth open up and swallow her whole than to have this girl respond to anything she’d said within the past five minutes. “um, what are the chances we can pretend i stopped talking after i said my name was rosalia morais?”

[rosaliamorais]

“he’s lying.” rosa’s grip on her phone as she read over the post left her knuckles pale, each of her hands shaking with the uncontrollable rage that came from someone broken, someone hopeless. someone desperate to deny the truth. “he’s covering his tracks, and trying to-- to turn us against each other.” white-hot rage rose from the place she’d been storing it away ever since the day she woke up in the middle of the forest. “i loved him like a fucking brother,” she couldn’t separate her sorrow from her fury, or her betrayal from her disgust. suddenly she was recalling the way honey had reacted to the news of daisey’s death all too apathetically. it made her sick; it made her want to scream; it made her feel worse than being kidnapped ever would.  “fuck him. fuck all of them--” had she not needed the device in her hand so desperately, she would’ve smashed it against the ground by now. “now i’m supposed to choose between my freedom and allowing three goddamn murderers to get away with everything they’ve done?” her attention caught on the closest bystander, one of the thirty. “did you see it? what the fuck is happening? what are we supposed to do? i think i’m going to be sick.”

[rosaliamorais]

ivyleagves��:

ivy had longed for this since the day she had reported rosa missing. beyond yearning for rosa’s company, the blonde craved her touch. nearly every night that passed while rosa was away, ivy found herself trapped in dreams from which she would wake feeling the other girl’s phantom touch, goosebumps raised on her skin. but this was so much better than dreams. this was real.

she just hadn’t realized how badly she had missed it. at once, she felt it, that buzzing electric feeling that she hadn’t felt in way too long. god, even rosa’s nervous ramblings had her smiling, blushing. rosa’s lips against her own fulfilled a hunger she hadn’t acknowledged feeling. the sensation of rosa smiling against her caused her own lips to pull into a small smile, keeping her eyes on rosa as she pulled away and scoffing lightly at her words.

“as if you could possibly forget,” she teased, pulling rosa gently by their intertwined hands in the direction of her bedroom. “you’re here way too often for that to happen. i’ve literally got a pile of your scrunchies in there.” the hallway seemed longer than she remembered. suddenly she couldn’t get to her room fast enough, though in reality it couldn’t have taken her more than a few seconds to escort the pair of them to her room. 

and finally, finally, they were there, in that room they’d been in so many times before, doing exactly this. but this time felt different somehow. more important. as ivy closed the door, she positioned rosa against it, pressing her lips to rosa’s once more before littering her jawline and neck with kisses. “is this jogging your memory at all?” she couldn’t help but turn her head to throw a quick smirk at the other girl and take in her features for a moment. 

she really didn’t think she could ever tire of this. 

Keep reading

rosa’s laugh was uncharacteristically small, soft in its delivery as ivy’s lips danced across her jaw, down her neck. eyes fluttered open the second the other’s kisses stopped, seeking out her face. the sight of her brought another uncontrollable grin to her lips, completely ruining her response before she could give it. “i think i may be remembering something.” she couldn’t even manage a smirk, her attention too enraptured by the blonde’s every move. “hm, wait... no, nothing. try harder.” there it was. her insufferable try for humor. 

it came to an end as swiftly as it began, however, when the warmth of those familiar hands pressed against her sides. the suggestion to follow made her equal parts terrified and excited, as it finally hit her that ivy would have to see more than she’d bargained for. still, as the woman in front of her stepped back for long enough to discard of her shirt, rosa came to an easy conclusion; it was only fair. slowly, she forced herself to raise the sweatshirt up and over her head, discarding it to the ground just next to her feet. embarrassment colored her face as she glanced down, quickly, at the several white bandages across her skin, hiding the worst parts of her, but accentuating them nonetheless. she nearly brought a hand to rest protectively over the largest one, the bandage covering her 30 brand, before deciding to look away, look back to ivy, before she regretted this. there was nothing she wanted to regret about tonight.

and suddenly she couldn’t have cared less about how she looked, because she was studying the other woman with an adoring gaze. she’d seen her this way for what had to be a thousand times, sure, but each and every time felt better than the last. it felt like even more of a privilege, to be here in a state of undress such as this, with the most beautiful woman she’d ever laid eyes on. it felt, in short, like she’d won the lottery. clearly, tonight of all the other nights, set the precedent for that feeling. she’d come to the conclusion that she would never be with ivy again. she didn’t think she’d ever be anywhere again. needless to say, it made her all the more grateful to be standing in this room, with this girl, with this love enveloping her. before she could let any of those thoughts escape in her awe of ivy’s figure, before she could say something to scare her off, ivy had once again-- unwittingly, this time-- saved her from completely embarrassing herself by returning to her rightful place, against rosa.

rosa moved toward the bed with her companion, completely at ease and confident enough in the journey there to busy herself with pressing tender kisses to the curve of ivy’s neck, shivering each time her lips touched the damp skin her hair had been resting against. one of her hands (the one not holding ivy to her at the small of her back) held blonde waterlogged hair back and out of her way.

falling onto the mattress with her was more difficult than the brunette remembered. she had to be sure not to agitate any of her wounds, splaying herself next to ivy as swiftly-- and carefully-- she could. the barely-there touch roaming across her skin was enough to draw a deep sigh from rosa’s lips, the feeling as pleasant to her as it was enticing. i really missed you. as unexpected as the words were, she hadn’t realized how much she’d longed to hear them again, though in reality it had only been a few short minutes ago that she’d heard them last. she remained silent in order to allow ivy to finish her thought, while formerly idle hands came between them, one to rest gingerly against the blonde’s cheek, the other to brush away any stray hair from her face. it was a miracle she wasn’t in tears by the time ivy had said her piece. “i...” her voice had already cracked. she cleared her throat, tried again. “i didn’t know if i was ever going to...” she didn’t want to finish that sentence, but she was sure the meaning came across. “you were the first person i wanted to see. i knew that, if there was anyone who could put me at ease tonight, it would be you. not even like this,” she gestured between them as she inched closer, stopping only when she was nearly pressed against the woman beside of her, “you’re just.. you make me feel...” she couldn’t force herself to voice any of the revelations she’d reached tonight. she couldn’t do that to ivy. rosa lifted her head enough to place another kiss on the other’s lips. it was the easiest way to pour every emotion she couldn’t voice into a physical manifestation. a way to put her confession off for another day. when she pulled away, her eyes shone with the faintest hint of tears. “i’m so grateful to be alive. and one of the biggest reasons i’m so happy to be... is you.” 

tonight felt intimate in a way drastically different than most of their hookups had ever been. of course, she had a few ideas why, but still rosa couldn’t ignore the longing for ivy’s touch that’d settled deeply into every fiber of her being. as corny as it sounded, the feeling flowing through her was like sunlight. it was warm and all-consuming and radiant. and in every place ivy’s skin met hers, it burned beautifully. her breathing picked up as soon as her hand began to move, hitched as she hesitated, and released as soon as she felt her waistband move. kisses that’d been tender and meaningful became more fervent. more of her longing displayed by the way her palms flattened on each side of ivy’s face, pulling her closer, as she merely whimpered in response to her reassurances. she had to draw a deep breath in before she could bring herself to say, “i want you,” the weight those words carried... “don’t stop on my account.”

[rosaliamorais]

“if you litter, i’ll be bitter.” maybe her true calling was slam poetry. “remember that i have connections with basically every power figure in ashmont, so don’t piss me off. or... your lives will be shitty.” not her best rhyme work, but she could deal. using humor as a coping mechanism didn’t work nearly as well for her as everyone made it sound. bringing up her deepest, most shameful secret just because she’d recently been exposed didn’t sit right with her. still, she guessed it was better to show everyone she was the only person who could make her feel even worse. “in conclusion: football isn’t that fucking important; just get up and throw your garbage away. please.” she hadn’t even been speaking to anyone in particular. in fact, she was standing on a row of bleachers and facing roughly ten students, making her words suit all of them. “and i better not see a single recyclable item in the trash trash. eco-friendly, properly labeled, don’t-kill-the-earth recycling bins are on either side of every trashcan, so you have no excuses. don’t make any.”

[rosaliamorais]

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse ---

alternatively send ‘ + ‘ after the symbol for the roles to be reversed where possible !

✘ = hugging them . Δ = playing with their hair .  ❤ = kissing them .  ₪ =  asking them out for dinner . ☀ = giving them a gift of ___ ( asker’s choice ) . ♘ = stabbing them . ♕ = bowing down before them . ♒ = lying to them .   ✿ = buying them flowers . ☾ = being found shirtless . ♢ = reading them a story . ☂ = giving them their jumper to keep warm . ✎ = speaking in a different language . ✏ = teaching them a different language . ▄ = telling them a joke . ♬ = singing to them . ☹ = insulting a loved one . ஐ = slapping them . ✂ = threatening them . ❃ = dancing with them . ▤ = falling asleep on them . ☮ = waking them up after a nightmare .  ♣ = discovering them crying .  回 = patching a wound .  ✮ = stargazing . ▓ = caught stealing their belongings . ☽ = wandering alone at night . ♡ = complimenting them . ≡ = offering a place to stay overnight . ☢ = falling over . ✦ = being well-dressed . ❂ = wiping blood off their face . ◎ = taking care of them while ill . ☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them . ⇕ = holding their hand . ↱ = being lost with them . ☠ = pushing them against a wall .

[rosaliamorais]

“ i’m lost; i’m scared -- i feel like i’m disappearing. ”                 rosalia morais as CLEMENTINE KRUCZYNSKI from ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

[rosaliamorais]

a guide to eventually getting framed for murder by the police, probably, as told by rosa.

mentioned: @ivyleagves, @holdenwoodz, @figurchead

Part One ( You. )

Do you have any criminal history? Anything big or small that you want to make us aware of?

“No.” The answer is a little too quick, a little too panicked to seem entirely true. Her nerves are shot, her blood is laced with caffeine. She can’t stop shaking; hopefully they chalk it up to her anxiety. That is, after all, a major part of why she can’t seem to sit still, her usual decorum is lost-- forgotten and left to rot on the forest floor, just as she had been. Just as she’d learned Nathaniel had been. That thought churns her stomach, brings a welling of tears to her eyes. She squeezes them shut for just long enough to clear her vision and not a second more. Closing them for too long is a mistake. Trying to force herself into falling asleep for the past two nights was enough proof of that. Even still, her quick answer boiled down to mostly being about the fact that the other twenty-nine students involved in this case now knew her deepest, darkest secret. Unfortunately for some of the police officers in this very precinct, they knew it too. They just hadn’t needed the blog to tell them. “I have no criminal record. I’d be pretty stupid to pursue law, if that were the case.”

How have you spent the few weeks back at college? What have they been like?

An incredulous gaze lifts from the place her hands are fidgeting on the table, brows furrowing as she tilts her head. “Are you kidding me?” A breathy laugh, cold and unamused. “I’ve spent them in total fear, Elaine.” She says the name with the venomous taste of condescension on her tongue, only to turn to the younger officer immediately after, her expression puzzled. “You’re sure you want to work here, Mikey? I’m pretty sure you’d be better off training under Starsky and Hutch.” The girl who would’ve come into this interview all of a week ago was nowhere to be found amidst her foul temperament and biting remarks today. In spite of the current state of affairs surrounding her reputation, Rosa had always been respectful to the right authorities, even if she felt they were undeserving. 

The person answering these questions retained nothing of that polite, well-mannered mask. “They’ve been horrifying. One day I’m celebrating making it to my senior year, the next I’m worrying about whether or not any of the people who knew Daisey were going to see graduation.” A faux-thoughtful expression crosses her face before she speaks again. “Oh, and then the local police force decided to keep us all on lock-down, like we’re kindergartners on a field trip. And would you believe that it didn’t help anything at all, because four of us went missing under their oh-so watchful eyes? One of us were even murdered? The second one in a month? I don’t know. Maybe, if you ignore all of that crap, it’s been a great last year before for law school.”

Part Two ( Daisey. )

How did you know Miss. Rutherford? What was the nature of your relationship?

“We barely associated. We had a few petty arguments now and then; academic rivals, I suppose.” You guys aren’t asking the right questions. This won’t help anything. The thoughts nearly tumble from her careless lips, only kept back by Rosa’s tightly clenched jaw. “She was a cruel and vindictive sociopath, but I’m sure you’ve gathered that much. Even with your way of investigating. Point is, I didn’t care about her until she went missing. I was just focused on getting into Harvard. I don’t have the time to spare on actively hating someone. Other than being a snarky annoyance, Daisey wasn’t on my radar. Everyone was on hers, though. Girl had no life aside from getting off to the sound of people crying.”

Do you remember where you were the night Daisey went missing? If so, where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with?

“I was at Oz Lamar’s party, same as basically everyone else at St. E’s. I spent part of the night with my gi-- my friend, Ivy Westbrook. We did shots together, I got super drunk, and then I met Holden Woods and we became besties in the bathroom.” She produced her phone in order to scroll through several of their blurry, intoxicated pictures together. “These span over an hour. So, clearly I was having the time of my life, I guess.” At least the change of subject subdued her sudden temper, her demeanor visibly simmering down.

Did you notice anything strange about Daisey’s behavior the night she went missing? Did you notice anything suspicious about anyone else you ran into that night?

“All I remember of Daisey that night is seeing her dry humping someone who was definitely not her fiance.” That’s all she plans to say, before she decides to tell them more before they can demand it. “I saw her making out with someone else. I don’t know who it was, because I’d assumed it was the guy-- is his name Octopus? No, that’s stupid. I don’t know.” She takes a second to collect her thoughts, lips pursed in her concentration. “Anyway, I thought it was him. Clearly, I didn’t want to be privy to a peep show, so I ran through the hall. That’s when I ran into the poor guy. Completely unaware Daisey was hooking up with someone else.”

Where were you the night Daisey’s body was recovered?

“I heard while I was in the grocery store. Everyone around me started talking about it, and someone turned on the TV. Everyone in the store just stopped and stared, horrified. No one wanted to believe it. Regardless of what kind of person she was, she didn’t deserve to die.” Rosa can still recall the look on every single stranger’s face that day. “It was so... quiet in there after the broadcast went off. Not another word was spoken, like an infinite moment of silence.”

How familiar are you with the Ashmont woods? Have you been there often? Have you recently ventured out here? If so, why?

“Fuck you.” She pushes her chair back with a deafening screech of the legs against the floor, poised to get up and leave. An empty gesture, apparently, since she stays in her seat. The room is blending together now, her eyes trying to find something to anchor her to the room, to remind her of where she is. Each of her hands find the lining of her seat, her white-knuckled grip doing nothing to help. She finds herself breathing in uneven patterns, heart palpitating as she tries to distract herself. This is pathetic: one mention of the woods and she’s unraveling, spiraling into a panic attack faster than she’s ever done so before. She’s avoiding either officer’s gaze out of humiliation, unwilling to ask for help. The sound of her own voice calling out that night, begging for a savoir, is an echo in her mind. The concrete floor of the police station suddenly looks a lot like the blood-riddled leaves coating the ground in the Ashmont woods.

You’re okay, you’re safe, you’re here. The voice reminding her of her safety isn’t her own. It’s Ivy’s, gentle and careful and warm, the same words she’d woken up to, after being pulled from a nightmare on the night they spent together. The memory slowly overtakes the one Rosa’s trapped in, the rough edges of the treeline enveloping her smoothing out, fading back into the recesses of her mind as she concentrates on breathing. Her relief is palpable as the comfort of home brings her back to her senses slowly, allowing her to melt into the chair once again. A hand covers her eyes as Rosa motions for the questions to continue and clears her throat. “I’m intimately familiar with the depths of that forest, considering how you and your incompetent officers nearly let me die there, thanks for reminding me.” She broke her words in order to pull in a deep sigh, the only thing keeping her from crying being her adamant desire not to deal with these people for a second time. “I don’t want a break, I’m fine. Keep asking your stupid fucking questions, because I’m not coming back for another one of these.”

Part Three ( the Investigation. )

Do you have feelings towards the investigation? Any comments?

“Just one,” Rosa takes a moment to steady herself before she looks the lead detective in the eye once again, defiance scribbled across her features, jaw set. “Do better before someone finds dead student number three in some storage building.”

Do you have any people you feel the police should look into? Please, let us know who and why.

It’s getting increasingly difficult to answer these inane inquiries, and her expression shows it. “I guess the fiance. I wouldn’t be happy if I found out the girl I was engaged to was sleeping with other people. I don’t know if he knew, so I’d break that to him gently. Daisey was a good liar.”

Part Four ( Weekly Events. )

Where were you kidnapped from? What do you remember of your abduction?

She’s moving uneasily in her chair once again, the only thing holding her facade together the mantra she’s still repeating in her head. Nerves make it hard for her to be angry, the rage from a few moments ago swapped out with unease, her hands back to wringing together, her foot beginning to tap against the floor. “I don’t remember any of that. Doctors said I could’ve blocked it out, or something, but I can’t even remember waking up that morning. As far as I’m concerned, that entire day is gone.”

What details do you recall from the time you were captured to the time you were released?

“Details?” Rosa’s disapproving scoff is half-hearted now, as she fights to recall the fuzzy memories in as calculating a way as possible. She couldn’t-- wouldn’t-- freak out again. “There aren’t details. At least, not for me. I couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t speak. I was awake for all of it, and I couldn’t even get the blindfold off.” The tears that’d made such a fuss trying to escape her eyes are finally streaming freely down her face, but she’s too preoccupied to notice. “My arms were tied down to a chair,” her hands instinctively gravitated to the burns on her wrists, “and my legs were tied together. My mouth, um, was duct taped… and… there were these headphones on me. Noise cancelling, I guess, unless whoever took me was a monk.” She swallowed past the growing lump in her throat, eyes searching the table in front of her as she went on. “They fed me this disgusting-- I guess soup? And gave me water twice a day. They were always wearing gloves, so I don’t even know if they had long fingernails.”

Did you learn anything about your kidnapper? Any facial details, an accent, any knowledge that you can share to help police in their investigation?

Her irritability resurfaces at lightning speed as she realizes how little she’s being listened to. A spark of recognition lights her face up, jaw dropping as she wiped her cheeks in a fervor. “Wait, no, I remember it. I remember everything.” Shaking hands ushered for the detective to grab her pen and paper. “Write this down, hurry-- before I forget again.” Rosa nods to herself as she begins to recount everything she knows. “It was a man, stocky build. He had white hair, and… it was spiky. A dark goatee, with a little light patch right in the middle. I couldn’t see his eyes, because he was wearing these thin, plastic, black sunglasses.” She clapped once, as if in celebration. “And every time he came to give me food, he pulled my headphones off just enough for me to hear him scream FLAVORTOWN! as he poured it down my throat.”

“Oh, wait, that’s Guy Fieri. I guess I didn’t miraculously remember anything since the last time I answered that, two minutes ago.”

Were you aware of any of the other kidnap victims when you were taken? Do you have any information or insight into the death of Nathaniel Ballantyne?

“I thought I was the only one until I heard people talking about the others. I had no idea there were more of us. I don’t even know if we were in the same place.” She stands up with her shoulders straight, the clothes she’d tried to sleep in still hanging freely off her figure. “As fun as this was, I’m going to go back to bed and do my very best to remember every detail of my excruciating days in hell so you can ultimately waste it on your corkboard and red string investigative approach. See you when the next round of people die, yeah?” With that, she takes her graceful leave.

[rosaliamorais]

ivyleagves‌:

ivy didn’t know what rosa had been through over the past few days, and despite wanting desperately to know exactly who to blame, exactly what rosa had to endure, she figured that would be the last thing rosa would want to talk about. she didn’t quite understand why rosa grimaced when she pulled her into the house, but it didn’t take long for her to realize that she most likely sustained injuries during the time she was missing. but that would come in time, she figured, those conversations. for now, all she had to focus on was that rosa was home, that she was safe. 

until the other girl managed to contain her tears, ivy held on tight. she couldn’t bear the thought of letting go ever again. the feeling of rosa’s skin beneath her fingertips was something she wouldn’t take for granted. ivy laughed softly at rosa’s words as she pulled away, using her thumb to wipe away the streaks left behind by her tears. “well, clearly not. if nothing else, you’re annoyingly persistent.” although she was teasing, that persistence was one of the things that first drew ivy to rosa. she’s always been more than just a pretty face - smart, confident, unstoppable.

ivy knew there would be some aspects of rosa’s life that would never be the same. watching her lock the door behind them, noticing the way her hands trembled just slightly, ivy took all of this into account. whatever happened to her over the last few days had changed her. the blonde took rosa’s hands in her own, intertwining their fingers the way she knew they perfectly fit. in that moment, she felt anchored. completely present. alert in a way she hadn’t been for days on end. “i missed you, yeah.”

rosa’s question caused the smile gracing ivy’s lips to turn down momentarily as she tried to feign confusion, but she couldn’t truly maintain a frown while she was looking at the other girl. “a ranking on a numerical scale? is that really what you want? i knew you were a ‘type a’, but come on.” tilting her head slightly, ivy took a step closer. her gaze never left the other girl’s, bright blue against warm brown. the sweetest brown she’d ever seen, brown that made her knees weak and her heart melt. “it’s just, you know, i’m just not that great with numbers…” 

for a moment, ivy let her sentence hang, unfinished, in the small space between them, her mouth hovering near rosa’s - almost close enough to close the gap but not quite. “but i have other strengths.” she pressed her lips to rosa’s, closing her eyes and leaning into the familiar feel of the other girl. she had missed this, how it made her feel like the rest of the world stopped around them. like the awful things happening around them didn’t matter, if only for a moment.

the feeling of ivy’s hands on her face was one of the most mundane things she’d missed during her time spent lacking in human contact. admittedly, the blonde’s touch had consumed her thoughts far more than she could have anticipated. holding her hand, ivy’s fingers in her hair, her palm placed on her leg as they sat near one another, her arms encircling rosa’s waist late at night as they fell asleep together. she found herself overwhelmed by the urge to capture each of the other’s hands in her own and press them more firmly to her face, to keep them there until every bad memory had been forced out of her mind for good. she remained still instead, found it in her to laugh at the insult thrown her way. the sound of it was off-kilter, foreign. it didn’t sound like her. “i’ve heard worse, believe me. so i’ll let that slide."

it was impossible to mask the relief that washed over her the moment she felt the warmth of her hand being taken, shoulders becoming slightly less rigid, a soft sigh escaping her lips. it was yet another homecoming, bringing another small piece of rosa back to herself. before she could stop herself, she’d raised their joined hands and pressed a ginger kiss to the back of ivy’s hand, the action causing a smile to bloom, once again, on her face. she surely looked complacent at the confirmation, her grin not only expanding but becoming smug in its appearance. she’d missed her, she’d missed her, she’d missed her. it was such an easy thing to say, and yet hearing the words from ivy delighted her to no end. nothing could top that.

“i just think it would help to, you know, put things into perspective. i need to know how much emotional turmoil i’m making up for, here.” rosa swallowed anxiously the second ivy stepped closer to her, trying to ignore the way her breathing had instinctively become shallow. “you’re not? with that memory of yours, i’d-- um,” her brain was short-circuiting at the mere possibility of ivy getting any closer, leaving her a bumbling mess, “i would assume you’re practically a genius when it comes to formulas.” jesus, she had already forgotten what her point was.

and before she could think of any other way of embarrassing herself, ivy had blessedly-- mercifully-- shut her up. one last sharp intake of breath was all she could manage before rosa dissolved into the kiss, her free hand finding ivy’s hair in order to pull her closer, a silent plea to stay exactly like this. every part of her yearned for this, this false perception of being whole. she didn’t feel the pain, the resentment, the fear, or the loneliness. not now. currently, she only knew the familiarity of ivy’s mouth-- of ivy-- the mental map she’d created of every part of the other woman. she wasn’t a solution to all of her problems; rosa doubted something as miraculous as that existed at all, really, but she was absolutely the closest she was going to get. a distraction, an effective silencer, an inescapable source of longing since the minute rosa had woken up in the place she wasn’t meant to be.

the kiss, as innocent as it was in theory, served the same purpose as a flame to a line of gasoline, igniting her body’s insatiable need for ivy’s touch along with her soul’s need to burrow as far into this bliss as she could get. the way her mouth turned up a the contact only proved how easily ivy had elicited pure exhilaration at such a simple action. she forced herself to pull back just far enough to allow her to speak. “i’ll take that as an eight on the scale.” she punctuated the joke with another searing kiss, “can you show me the way back to your room? i may have forgotten in the chaos. and suddenly i’m very curious about where it is.”

[rosaliamorais]

Send ‘Look into my eyes’ and my muse will bold what they see

| Hope | Love | Passion | Hate | Resentment | Envy | Indifference | Confidence | Insecurity | Greed | Desire | Optimism | Spite | Hostility | Kindness | Warmth | Intelligence | Experience | Trauma | Aggression | Gentleness |  Arrogance | Pride | Lust | Cruelty | You’re soft | You’re trusting | You seem honest | You’re humble | You’re cold | You’re closed off | You’re reserved and guarded | You’re unfeeling | You’re remorseless | You’re heartless | You’re inhuman | You’re frightening | You’re frightened | You’re devious | You’re unpredictable | You’re struggling | You’re lost | You’re broken | You’re disheartened | You seem headstrong | You seem difficult | You’re stubborn | I see hope | I see purpose | I see absolute conviction | I see compassion | I see a shining light | I see shattered remains | I see something familiar | I see a friend | I see an enemy | I see a lover | I see thirst for blood | I see malicious intent | I see pity | You’re pitiful | I see darkness | You’re unwavering | You’re pure | You’re noble |

[rosaliamorais]

for cerelia, too !!

send me a field or place of work, and i’ll make an au my muse in that setting.

for example, ‘flower shop’ might be a florist, the owner, a temp just trying to make a living by watering the plants and carrying soil, or the ceo of the chain.

[rosaliamorais]

ivyleagves‌:

the past few days had seen ivy at her worst. a failed search mission left her sobbing with holden, the two of them drunk and helpless in the woods with nothing but booze and their own dark thoughts to occupy their time. she’d spent more time with crushed pills and liquor than with her only remaining roommate. it was no secret ivy often took to these vices no matter the circumstances, but the thought of rosa or libby dead had truly wrecked her.

but then she received the text she’d been hoping so damn badly to receive - that despite her failed efforts, rosa had been found. alive. but somehow it didn’t feel real. ivy called the police station, where they begrudgingly answered some of her many questions - yes, she’s going to be okay; yes, she’s at the hospital downtown; no, we’re not allowing visitors at this time - but it wasn’t enough.

there were many, many emotions jumbled within her, but they felt numbed, muffled, subdued. nothing was hitting quite right, if at all. the entire day, ivy was restless, debating constantly whether she might have just one drink ( but ultimately refraining because one would lead to two would lead to three ), pacing circles in her room, changing her clothes every hour.

she had just gotten out of the shower when the police cruiser pulled up outside. the unfamiliar drawl of the car’s engine drew ivy to her bedroom window, peeking out of the blinds that had for days been tightly closed. through the darkly tinted windows of the car, she spotted a familiar profile, one that drew a shaky intake of breath from her lips. rosa, returning home to her villa next door, no doubt exhausted beyond belief.

the blonde dressed quickly, throwing on shorts and a t-shirt, wondering if rosa would be up for visitors later. the last thing she wanted was to crowd her, or be a bother. she pulled her fingers through her hair, not bothering to find a hairbrush as she contemplated texting rosa after some time had passed, asking how she was feeling, if she needed anything, if she’d wanna hang out. 

a shaky knock pulled ivy back into reality. heart racing, ivy practically sprinted to the door. there’s no way… there’s no way it’s her. though she tried to keep her hopes down, ivy found it to be damn near impossible. the mere thought of rosa at her door sent goosebumps up and down her arms as she felt the phantom touch of the hands she’d been missing so much.

and then, there she was.

dressed in baggy a police academy uniform, looking much more disheveled than she’d usually allow herself to be, rosa was the most beautiful thing ivy had seen in a long time. suddenly those muted emotions became overwhelmingly loud, rushing over ivy like a wave, and she felt tears prick the corner of her vision. rosa’s hands on her neck were a welcome feeling, and ivy reached up to place her own hands on top of them as if to prove that it was all real. that rosa wouldn’t disintegrate before her eyes, that she wasn’t in yet another dream with a certain brunette at the focus.

“i- yeah. i’m… i’m awake.” the shakiness in her own voice surprised her. “no, no, you’re perfect, please get in here.” she was stepping backwards, tugging lightly on rosa’s wrists to bring her through the doorway. letting the door close gently behind them, ivy pulled rosa into a hug, wrapping her arms around rosa’s neck and burying her face in her hair. god, she’d missed this, the subtle scent of rosa’s skin, the way they fit so perfectly in each other’s arms. “i’m so happy you’re here.” her whisper was a simple sentiment, but one that carried endless weight. “i- i missed you so much.”

it felt better than she ever could have imagined. that was the thought repeating itself over and over in her mind; she hadn’t expected to make it out of that nightmare alive, and yet, here she was. with everything back to normal, with her  fingers ghosting along ivy’s skin, warm and inviting and making her remember exactly why she couldn’t give up. not in that room, or in that forest, or even now. the invitation in brought her even more elation, skin crawling in anticipation to be inside a place she felt comfortable in. the rope burn on each of her wrists ignited into flames as soon as ivy began to usher her through the doorway. she hoped her pain went unnoticed, covering her gasp with a controlled laugh, replaced her grimace with the clench of her jaw while she smiled. she was doing her best to swallow her reaction and keep up appearances, unwilling to interrupt the moment over something as trivial as pain. she didn’t care if it hurt-- there was no chance in hell she would tell ivy not to touch her. anywhere the other’s hands fell gave rosa a piece of her heart back. she would never intentionally hurt her, and that was good enough. so, yeah, rosa would much prefer an accidental prodding of an injury or two; as long as ivy was holding her.  but finally the crying stopped, quelled by the feeling of having the blonde’s arms around her. she may have lost control of her emotions, but ivy hadn’t. this was an embrace she’d imagined hundreds of times while keeping her mind stimulated, but there was only so much her imagination could do. being here, knowing it was real, put her at ease in ways impossible to describe. rosa’s tear-streaked face hid within the crook of the other woman’s neck, her friend? lover? crush? worrying over a label at this point felt trivial in the grand scheme of things. there were so many ways to describe ivy westbrook in regards to their dynamic, but none of them felt as important as the label she’d settled on-- instantaneously-- the second the villa door had opened. ivy was, to put it simply, the girl rosa had given her heart to over the course of their friendship. the woman she’d fallen in love with. “i’ve never been so happy to be somewhere,” her words are tender, vulnerable in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever been. she pulled back from the hug, just far enough to study ivy’s features while her arms remained wrapped around her waist. “come on, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” while it was intended to lighten the mood, her joke only served in reminding rosa how easily she actually could have. anxiety took hold of her for a few seconds, for long enough to make her turn and lock the front door behind them while trying to conceal the way her hands began to tremor at the thought of her own mortality (or worse, ivy’s, but that was a topic she didn’t dare to delve into). once that was done, once that small assurance had been made, her attention was returned to the blonde in full.  in spite of everything, she still couldn’t chase the smile from her lips when she was looking at her. “so, you missed me, huh?” suddenly she’d turned coy, bouncing lightly on her heel as she batted her lashes. “want to tell me how much? i mean, on a scale, maybe? from one to ten?”

[rosaliamorais]

waiting to be released from the hospital was agonizing. having her wounds bandaged and disinfected, having countless vials of blood drawn to use for toxicology scans. she couldn’t stand being in the same place any longer, irritated and temperamental each and every time she was forced to have a seat for long enough to run another test-- she’d sat still for long enough. she wanted to stretch, walk, run. anything that meant she wasn’t wasting away, wasn’t being held down against her will. at this point, rosa would rather run herself into the ground than wait, complacently, for something worse to happen. she wanted to be somewhere else-- anywhere else; she just wanted to go home. perhaps it was selfish not to amuse any other thoughts. she didn’t want a welcoming committee, or a million questions about what she’d endured, or gazes as scrutinizing as they were morbidly curious. she wanted to fall into bed, wrap herself in a blanket, and listen to her favorite voice catch her up on what she’d missed in class. it was next to impossible to convince the doctor overseeing her not to keep her overnight for further observations, and she may not have escaped at all, had her bottom lip not begun to quiver involuntarily at the thought of spending one more second in any place she didn’t want to be. however it happened, rosalia knew her relief was palpable as she exited the automatic doors and slid into the passenger seat of a police cruiser. calling in a few favors was all it had taken to get her an escort back to st. e’s campus. they’d stopped directly in front of her villa, the familiar sight of it bringing her close to tears all over again. refusing to embarrass herself any further, the brunette said her farewells to the poor officer dragging her around in the dead of night, and started walking to the door. a shaking hand raised, knuckles rapping against the wood as she tried to steady herself, tried to ignore how terrible she must’ve looked in the oversized police academy garb provided to her out of the kindness of the department’s hearts. her knees started to shake, only getting worse with the more time she spent waiting. and yet, just when she’d turned to go, to find solace somewhere else, the door was opening. blonde hair framed the face of an angel, the face she’d recalled most in her days spent deprived of human contact. the moment she saw her, right there in person, rosa lost all decorum she’d held onto. a muted sob tore its way out of her chest, dark eyes appraising the girl before her as needy hands stretched out, planting themselves on each side of ivy’s neck. home. home was finally within her reach-- within her grasp-- and she was beautiful. “ivy--” the name was too much for her to bear, voice wavering as she tried to anchor herself to the moment, to the reality of the situation. “you’re here, you’re awake. you’re...” words fell away as she tried to stop herself from falling apart. “is now a bad time?” @ivyleagves

[rosaliamorais]

it was 3:35 p.m. on october 13th, 2019 when rosalia morais was abducted. not that she remembers.

she spends the first forty-eight hours of her captivity in total defiance. the first time the duct tape used to ensure her involuntary silence is ripped away, she screams. a shrill, wordless, angry scream fills her throat, proving painful in its fury. her vocal chords protest her actions in the way they ache as soon the person holding her hostage has replaced the old piece with a new strip of adhesive, effectively subduing her rage once more. she’s seething, teeth clamping together in frustration. she doesn’t notice she’s bitten her tongue until the familiar metallic taste has flooded her mouth; stars appearing in her eyes as she squeezes them shut at the sting. she’s never been accustomed to having her voice taken from her, and even these circumstances aren’t enough to change her contempt for it. hours upon hours of her time is consumed by the nothing. she’s deprived of everything but her sense of touch, the only information fed to her being the coarse texture of the rope keeping her arms tethered to the confines of her chair, forcing her legs together. the second time her lips are freed, she’s gasping. if there’s one thing rosa has learned from this experience, it’s that she’ll never take something as important as breathing for granted again. there’s not enough time to pull in a proper breath, though -- much less one sizable enough for another tantrum -- before the lip of a bottle is pressing against her mouth, funneling water between her parted lips. for a blissful second, she feels grateful. the drink is more than welcomed, considering how many times she’s already thought about the dangers of dehydration, but that doesn’t last for long. it’s no sooner than when she goes to swallow the liquid that she realizes what undetectable drug she could be drinking down alongside the water. rosa recoils as soon as the thought hits her, jerking her chin up. she tries to ignore the searing pain that comes with hitting her head against the back of her chair, taking the opportunity to spit the water out, hoping it somehow managed to hit the person treating her as their very own baby alive doll. she kicks her conjoined feet blindly, barely suppressing a gasp at the pain to rip through her as her legs come to life with the prickle of invisible needles. she has to remember to move them more often. the duct tape is back within seconds. if her count is correct, it takes fifty-three hours, twenty-two minutes, and nine seconds for rosa to give in. whatever awaits her at the bottom of the bottle, she thinks, can’t be any worse than starving herself to death. so it’s with a reluctant sneer that the brunette breaks her resolve and tilts her head back, in an act she knows could either end her life, or save it. she feels nauseous once her spoon-fed meal settles in her hollow stomach, but this is better than nothing. at least this way, the waiting will be a little more bearable, regardless of how it turns out. if her count is correct, she spends a total of one hundred and sixteen hours, twelve minutes, and forty-eight seconds suspended in the vast, empty void. her only company is the memories in the back of her mind, and she can’t help but wonder if this is what people meant when they spoke of your life flashing before your eyes. a constant stream of familiar faces, of days she hadn’t thought of since they’d happened, of times spent laughing, crying, of doing nothing important at all. it didn’t feel special or revolutionary, the way she would’ve assumed. it didn’t foster any sudden revelations or make her see life from a new perspective. it just felt like home. sleepless nights under the covers with ivy, fingers intertwined as murmurs filled the space around them, tracing gentle shapes across each other’s skin in the dark; heated discussions echoing through fitzgerald’s on their slow days, zar’s intensity never far off from her own; bursting into inseong’s room with traces of laughter already coloring her grin, prepared to distract him from working too hard; settling in for long talks over a home-cooked meal for her and honey to partake in after they hadn’t seen each other in a while. she’s examining her life like it’s a scrapbook. filled with things she doesn’t want to forget, times she doesn’t want to end, and even though she knows the final page is coming, she’s not quite ready to reach it. it should be noted, however, that rosa knows, should these truly be the lasting imprints she leaves on the people she loves, it could be a hell of a lot worse. and for that, at least, she’s grateful. under the tape and blindfold, she even manages a teary-eyed smile. if her count is correct, hour one hundred and seventeen is when she loses consciousness for longer than a few seconds for the first time since day one.         

                                                          . . .                                                           . . .                                                           . . .

her hands are trembling when she comes to, the only part of her body that’s moving. limbs are locked in place, body rigid and immobile. is this what a corpse feels like? her thoughts travel to the same place in which they’ve resided for the entirety of the past five days -- is this it? has she at last succumbed to death’s enticing offer, taken his kind, cold hand in hers, and fallen victim to his freeing embrace? -- she thinks so, even finds herself hoping so. she’s fought for long enough, she’s thrashed and writhed against her binds violently enough to leave the ropes’ pattern burned into the skin of her wrists. the reddened flesh is raw and burning there, the fire beneath her constraints doused in gasoline each time she so much as lifts a finger. it’s hopeless, and she’s known that since her first try, but it’s better than allowing herself to wither away. because as long as she’s breathing, she won’t give in. she won’t allow her captor the satisfaction of seeing her exhaustion or her fear. they’ll have as much power over her as she gives them. she decides that maybe she’s earned this rest.

                                                            . . .

her senses trickle back to her slowly, as if she’s waking from a sleep that’s lasted for far too long. a fog lingers in her mind, melting all of her thoughts into incoherent muck. rosa’s first hint that she’s free is the sound. there’s nothing big or catastrophically loud, but the first thing you hear after being trapped with only the voices in your head to listen to is destined to seem much louder than anything has ever been. it’s the sound of something taking off into the night, wings flying overhead somewhere close, that pulls her far enough into the forefront of her mind to register that change. she’s paralyzed -- in part from the drugs, in part from her fatigue, in part from her fear. she doesn’t want to wake herself from a dream as bittersweet as this; she wants it to go on. rosa tests the waters with her hands, digging her hands down against the surface on which they lay, still expecting the familiar wooden armrests. she meets dirt. her fingers glide straight through the surface of the ground, surprising enough to elicit a gasp at the sensation. and, considering that action wasn’t stopped by anything covering her mouth, she comes to the conclusion she’s been released. simply the concept of it is almost too much for her, overwhelming enough to give her heart palpitations. the tears collecting behind her eyelids are the only reason she remembers them. she can see again. she can open her eyes and -- without another second of hesitation, she forces her eyelids apart, dark pools of black darting rapidly around the space she’s been unceremoniously discarded in. the instant her blurry vision settles on the vast expanse of twinkling stars far above her, the cord that’s been holding rosalia together snaps. she becomes unraveled: there is no blustering bravado left, no more futile attempts at escape to try, no need in dreaming of home. she’s just a girl stretched across the forest floor, sobbing at the sight of the night sky. she’s never been so happy to be so lost. she tries to wait it out, to reign her emotions in before she attempts anything else, but it’s useless. she quickly finds that there’s no chance of stopping the incessant flow of tears, so instead she decides to start moving, anyway. a true multi-tasker at heart. sitting up is still a challenge, hands uselessly grappling at the earth beneath her, clawing against it, looking for purchase as her head spins and her body shivers at the piercing cold. eventually, she manages to force herself into an upright position. the way it instantly brings a rush of warmth across her lower half isn’t concerning to her muddled conscience; the heat, she notes, is welcomed against the october air. it’s when she turns over, her palms buried in the dirt once again, that she notices it. if the searing pain isn’t enough to tell her something is wrong, the deafening noise of a quiet, leaky faucet -- that drip, drip, drip, of liquid splattering against fallen leaves on the forest ground -- tells her what she needs to know. she looks down at her torso apprehensively, dread crawling up her throat as she prepares for the worst. the tears still pouring from her eyes makes it hard to discern what’s happening, especially under the light of a waning moon, but it’s clear enough. the leaves below her are coated in crimson, and the fast, rhythmic pitter-patter is coming from her -- coming out of her -- towards the top her ribcage. she can't see the wound, and she doesn't want to. she has no way of knowing that these wounds perfectly match the 30 engraved on daisey's arms or daniel's chest. all she knows is the terror she's living in, now. she scrambles to her feet, disheveled and horrified, her expression akin to a deer caught in the headlights, watching its impending doom barrel closer, defenseless to stop it. she places each of her hands firmly over the wound causing the blood to travel uncomfortably down her body, the yelp of pain she lets out reminds her she can still do one thing. unsteady feet carry her forward, legs nearly buckling under her weight with each and every step on the uneven terrain. “help me,” her voice isn’t as loud as she wanted it to be, needed it to be, but she’ll make do. “hello? is anybody else out here?!” desperation saturates her voice in a way she’s never heard it, becoming more fervent and frantic the longer no one heeds her pleas.  “i don’t want to die,” the admission comes seconds after her legs have given out, left her strung out and stranded at the base of some insignificant tree in some insignificant part of the forest, feeling as insignificant and forgotten by the world as the dead leaves she’s sitting on. “i don’t want to die,” the words are a mantra, spoken even softer with each time they’re repeated, until the movement of her lips brings no sound with it at all. pale hands fall limp at her sides, each of them stained by her blood. she’s oblivious to the world the moment she falls unconscious.

                                                            . . .                                                             . . .                                                             . . .

it’s a shame she’s not awake to thank the forest ranger out on a call about a black bear who calls 911 the minute he finds her there.

it's 7:01 p.m. on october 19th, 2019 when rosalia morais is rescued. and, god, she wishes she could forget.

[rosaliamorais]

uranus, jupiter, saturn

uranus: what position do you sleep in?

well, recently i’ve had to do it sitting up, with my head just… awkwardly tilted back. i’ve been tied to a chair for a few days now, so i’m getting used to it, but there’s a killer crick in my neck. usually, though… i sleep on my stomach. there are only two reasons i’ll ever be on my back in bed, and neither of those have anything to do with actually sleeping.

jupiter: what would you do for the sake of your friends?

the answer to that depends on the level of friend the person i’m helping is. honey, zo, inseong? i’d die for them; that’s not a hyperbole or an exaggeration. if given the choice between saving myself and saving someone i love, there would be no hesitation. someone like holden woods, however, the guy i apparently spent the night of oz’s party taking drunk selfies with… i’d pay for his coffee if he forgot his wallet at home. if i happened to be in a good mood, anyway.

saturn: what would be your dream wedding ring?

a ring doesn’t mean anything. if i ever get married, it’s the actions of that person i care about. if they love me, and i love them, i’m not going to force them to buy something i could lose while taking a shower. save that money, honey. houses aren’t cheap.