i feel like an addict craving a fix as i twitch away these compulsions. i haven’t learned a a thing at all about self-control.
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I (a baptised catholic) lost my virginity to a satanist the night before Pope Francis died. I fear this may be my fault.
noooooo that's so funny! It was definitely you
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I got a haircut, and she cut it so much shorter than I asked, but I kind of really like it. Thank god for people who force me to let go of the things I try too hard to hold onto.
#Like too much hair#Feeling weird about posting my kids even though I think I may have already so you get face stickers#I only take pictures with them so I have nothing else to share#The loves of my life
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There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"
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the world is a scary place. i’m afraid of the choices this damn fool makes. of going to war. of being on the other side of the coin, hopeless and unable to protect my children. i’m reminded of dreams. dreams of being hunted and in danger and craving the safety of a home, the love of a family. of nightmares where the world is flooding, and I’m cradling my children in my arms as we drown. of being chased by monsters, tossing my children to strangers, begging them to protect them, knowing I will no longer be able to do so. it’s chilling, the feeling of hopelessness, of failure, of regret, the fear of your children’s impending doom. it’s not me. never me. even when I fear death, it’s only sometimes that fear of the unknown, the terror of forever. usually it’s them, leaving them behind before they can protect themselves or even understand why. I catch myself thinking “just let them get older, let them be adults.” it won’t lessen the grief, might even worsen it, but at least they’ll know I didn’t do it on purpose, that I’d never leave them alone. silly maybe to grieve for something so uncertain, when people are grieving for something real, when people are dying and holding their children and feeling things I only dream about, and I’m here, wasting precious moments being afraid. but I can’t stop it. I’m all privilege and no power and I’ll always be afraid.
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guys who aren’t afraid to moan are fucking hot
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that's a happy ending, kindness in action can do some good here and there.
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you really do have to be the thing that saves you
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Flirting telepathically tonight so if you get nightmares its just me
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This is the solstice, the still point of the sun, its cusp and midnight, the year’s threshold and unlocking, where the past lets go of and becomes the future; the place of caught breath, the door of a vanished house left ajar
Margaret Atwood, Eating Fire: Selected Poetry, 1965-95
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