rosesofrosier

[rosesofrosier]

Evan doesn't know if Regulus is trying to be funny when he says he would beat Evan to it, but, the blond doesn't find it funny. His only response actually is to tighten his grip on the other even more, or well, as much as his real arm would let him anyway. There was no strength in the hold from the fake one, it was just a dead weight against Regulus' back. Evan didn't even notice the way Regulus was holding his hand, mainly because he was gripping the others just as tightly. It still felt weird, almost a year later, to hold things with his left hand, he was told it would get easier, but much like how he is still kept awake most nights in pain in a limb that didn't even exist anymore, despite being told that he shouldn't be feeling it anymore, they were wrong. He had stopped putting his faith in things healers told him a long time ago. They all say he should be recovered, that he should have gotten used to it by now. That he shouldn't be in pain anymore. It was all just his punishment, he's sure. They knew they were lying to him, they had to know. How could they not? When they make it to Regulus' place Evan can't hide the frown as he's let in, glancing around the inside, it makes him wonder how long, just how long had Regulus been staying here, right under Evans noes and he had no idea? He doesn't get to dwell on it long before Regulus is speaking again and then, all at once, Evan snaps out of his shock, all at once it hits him that Regulus was here and all at once Evan forgets how to breathe. He isn't gentle with the way he tugs Regulus close again, the moment Regulus takes his hand he all but yanks the other close to him. "I was right here!" He exclaims, unable to hide the frustration in his tone, but he was. It wasn't him that faked his own death!

The venom in Evan's voice as he hissed a death threat towards Dumbledore actually made Regulus smile. His face was still hidden in Evan's shirt but the pull on his lips still hung there. Regulus had been feeling that way for the last year. Laying in a bed trying to get his hand to work again had allowed for a lot of time to think. Think about all the ways he had been used, abused, and tossed a side. He had no doubt in his mind that dumbledore would have allowed him to drown had he not had the locket in his hand when he went under. He had no doubt that riddle would have sent him to the front lines to be killed with all the other child soldiers he had trained up if he hadn't betrayed him.

Evil was fucking everywhere.

Sometimes it was in a smile, sometimes it was in a frown.

"You wont." Regulus mumbled. "Not if I beat you to it." He sniffled then and closed his eyes tight. He had to take a long moment to calm himself down. To just breath. To ground himself and remember that this wasn't another day dream. This was real. Evan was actually in front of him. Holding him. Again.

Finally. Keeping his fingers laced together with Evan's, Regulus held his hand tight. As if he was afraid to let him go completely. He had been so afraid. Seeing Evan laying in the recovery wing. His whole side bandaged. Blood on his face. In his hair and clothing. He remembered the night before everything changed as they walked through the grave yard. Evan's name on his lips. Chanted like an unholy prayer of bliss. That look they had shared before leaving Evan's room in the morning and all the words Regulus had wanted to say but hadn't gotten the time to express.

Was that time too far gone now?

They reached his front door in a matter of minutes. He unlocked it with a flick of his wrist and lead Evan inside. Shrugging off his coat and kicking off his shoes, Regulus turned to Evan again. "I missed you." He managed to get out in a smaller voice. His had moving to grab Evan's again. "I missed you so fucking much."

[rosesofrosier]

✉︎ Mon étoile

Stella: I'm sorry, what? Stella: How on earth?! Stella: But the funeral and everything?! Evan: Yeah, I know.

[rosesofrosier]

Evans only solace to his own fury in frustration was the way Regulus was clinging to him. He couldn't hold onto the other nearly as tightly as he wanted to, but Regulus was holding onto him. It wasn't the same. It made him angry, furious even, but Evans entire life made him angry these days. He anger didn't dampen, only strengthened when Regulus answered. Dumbledore. Because of course that filthy fucking sack of useless shit was behind this. Of course the headmaster was the reason Evan had damn near lost the one person unrelated to him that he actually trusted. Of course the fucking git would tell Regulus to hide from him. "I could fucking kill him." He seethes under his breath, burying his face in the others hair, closing his eyes tightly as he took a deep breath. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Evan was angry, angry at the world, angry at himself, just angry. Losing his arm had ruined him and losing his...Regulus had destroyed him. He had to be angry because if he wasn't angry he would just fall apart and even with Regulus here in front of him, Evan was still furious. everything had been ruined. When Regulus started to pull away it was only because he physically couldn't that he didn't pull the other back in. With Regulus holding onto his arm, his real arm, he couldn't maneuver the other closer again. The prosthetic they gave him was fucking useless and Evan wanted to burn the thing now more than ever. The question was the only thing that settled him because even though he couldn't hold Regulus like he wanted to, Regulus still wanted to be around him and Evan found himself nodding along without even thinking. As if he even needed to, as if he was going to let Regulus out of his sight anytime soon. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

It wasn't fair.

None of this was fair. His last few years at hogwarts had been tainted by the war. Last year he and Evan- Just has things had started they got cut off form one another. Evan lost his arm. Regulus lost his life. They lost each other. And now? Now that they found each other again? They weren't the same. It didn't dampen any of Regulus's feelings towards Evan, or what the last night they spent together meant to him but it did change things. Everything was so different.

Gripping the back of Evan's shirt, Regulus wanted so much to fold into him. To melt away and not have to deal with anything else anymore. He hated this. This feeling of guilt for hurting Evan and Pen and Sirius and everyone else who cared about him. For not finding away to let them know before now. "Dumbledore." Regulus answered as he pulled back just enough to look at Evan. His wide green eyes begging for forgiveness. "I didn't have anyway of getting word out." He tried to assure Evan. "I am sorry." Regulus repeated before hiding his face in Evan's chest once more. His head tucked up under Evan's chin.

Regulus stayed like that for a long few minutes. As a general rule he rarely showed any emotion publicly. His friends saw how he truly felt behind closed doors. Where Regulus could trust they would not judge him for it. But seeing Evan again- Well, even with his years of practice- his years of being a spy, it broke something he thought was strong in himself. He pulled back, his hand still gripping Evan's shirt sleeve. "Will you come back with me? To mine? I don't want to stay here."

[rosesofrosier]

✉︎ Mon étoile

Stella: What happened? Stella: I'll pick up some éclairs on the way. Evan: Regulus is alive.

[rosesofrosier]

We can hurt together || Penn and Evan

If you had asked Evan if he would ever consider Penn as anything more than a friendly acquaintance he would have told you know. There was nothing wrong with the other per say, but like everyone else in school, Evan just kept them at a distance. It wasn't until Penn got out of Azkaban, shortly around the the time Evan was really becoming more coherent that they really started to get close. The two of them just easily bonded over their grief, both of them held Regulus to such a high regard, both of them missed the funeral. They grew closer in their grief and now, with Regulus alive, not dead. there was really only one person Evan actually trusted to understand his own feelings and that was Penn. When the other invited him over he didn't hesitate to agree for that very reason. He can't apparat anymore, his magic just isn't strong enough, but he knows Penn would have left the floo to their place open with that invite specifically for him so only after getting dressed did he step into the floo and head to Penns.

@penkneeling

[rosesofrosier]

It was the way Regulus all but collapsed into him that finally broke Evan from his shock, he has a split moment where he is livid, not with Regulus but with himself because he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the other and he is but it's not the same, sure, he has his prosthetic on but it doesn't feel like anything. He doesn't feel like he's hugging his best friend. It doesn't help how unreal all of this feels. Theres a strong sting of hurt as he listens to Regulus apologize, Evans hushing him without even realizing it. "who?" Evan demands, because he has a fucking bone to pick with whoever would dare tell Regulus not to speak to him. The audacity to call it dangerous when Evan had been pulled into a war much too young, used as a spy, losing his fucking arm in the process? Dangerous passed well over a fucking year ago. His friend, his...Whatever Regulus was to him, HIS. knowing Regulus was alive wasn't dangerous. Regulus telling him things wasn't dangerous. Evan hadn't been safe since the moment he was fucking born if they wanted to be honest. "You're okay," He breathes out, that same fury from earlier coming back because he couldn't hold Regulus properly. "You're okay," Evan begins repeating those two words like a mantra, trying to both sooth Regulus and hoping if he says it enough it'll feel real.

It was a mess. The world. The war. Everything leading up to it. Everything that happened after. Them. It was a mess. Regulus smelt iron in the air as Evan stumbled forward towards him. For just a moment he could see it again. Evan in his black cloak, his arm missing and blood pouring from the wound there. The panic of losing them had hit Regulus like a truck in that moment. Thankfully, he had known Evan was going live before he left his side. Evan, on the other hand, had lost them. Evan had lost him. The taste that Regulus had of losing Evan had been enough to scare him. Scare. No. That wasn't the right word. Terriffy. Horrify. That was closer. Much closer. The image of Evan bleeding out vanished as his hand gripped Regulus's shaking arm. Tears still rolled down his face as he looked up at Evan. "For three minutes," Regulus admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to tell you. He said I couldn't tell anyone. That it wasn't safe and if anyone knew they could be hurt or in danger. I- Fuck, Evan-" Regulus hung his head for a second before shoving all discretion aside. Most days he was not one to show any affection to anyone in public. Most days he was not so open with his emotions. Most days he wasn't being reunited with his- Well, friends didn't really cut it. He didn't have words for it at the moment. It hardly mattered. This was not most days. He pushed forward and wrapped both his arms around Evan's chest. Pressed his cheek into Evan's shirt and breathed in deeply before letting out a shakey sob. Regulus had missed Evan like a bird misses the sky. Like a fish might miss the water. "I am sorry- I am so sorry. I missed you so much, Evan. I am sorry" He rambled off quickly.

[rosesofrosier]

✉︎ Mon étoile

Stella: That depends entirely who's asking. Stella: If you're asking, of course I am. Evan: Yes its me asking. Evan: I don't care what we do I'm just Evan: Not having a good time.

[rosesofrosier]

✉ | Evan ⇄ Pen Pen: i know Pen: i wish that he could have trusted me, too Pen: ... do you want company? Evan: If you want, yeah, that'd be.. Evan: Yeah.

[rosesofrosier]

✉ | Evan ⇄ Pen

Pen: no. we hurt for him Pen: you would only be a bad friend if you walked away from him now Pen: you won't, will you? Evan: No of course not! Evan: I just Evan: Wish he trusted me, you know?

[rosesofrosier]

✉ | Evan ⇄ Pen

Pen: are you upset? Evan: Does it make me a bad friend if I say yes?

[rosesofrosier]

✉ | Evan ⇄ Pen

Pen: i am Pen: but also i can't be Pen: i can breathe again Evan: I Evan: Yeah, yeah I get what you mean.

[rosesofrosier]

✉ | Evan ⇄ Pen

Pen: no. did you? Evan: No I didn't Evan: What do you... Evan: Are you upset with him?

[rosesofrosier]

Petite colombe

Evan: Are you free tonight?

[rosesofrosier]

Pen

Evan: Did you know?

[rosesofrosier]

Evan couldn't believe it. Even hearing the others voice he couldn't believe it. He had hoped, sat at this very grave and begged even, for Regulus to not be dead, to just even hear the other say his name one more time, to not let the last night they spent together be the last memory he has of the other. That was the thing too, Regulus may have saved him in that battle, but Evan had no memory of it. Evan doesn't even remember Regulus being there at all. He had been working recently on trying to gain the memories of that incident back, but most of it was still so fuzzy. Evan remembers the look on Alastors face in the battle, he remembers the sound of the others crazed laughter, he remembers the pain. The smell of blood, the screaming he can now put together as his own, the comforting hands of someone who Evan still doesn't know. He remembers the feeling of safety the hands provided, he can remember, despite his agony, thinking it was going to be alright just as long as those hands didn't leave him. He didn't have many thoughts after that one though, he's pretty sure he blacked out. He never did end up feeling that safety again nor did he ever find out just who had saved him. He could really use that safety now. More than anything he would much rather bury himself in it than deal with whatever this is. This couldn't be real and really, life was fucking cruel at this point for even teasing him with it. He wasn't going to entertain this, this wasn't Regulus, this was just his mind playing tricks, maybe deciding Evan had dealt with enough and was trying to ease some of his problems. It was going to devastate him though, when he found out it wasn't real. He stumbles forwards and shakes his head slightly as he reaches out to touch the other. It wasn't real, his hand would go right through the hallucination and Regulus would be gone. He would be gone and Evan would be-- His panicked stream of thoughts ends the moment his hand makes contact with Regulus' arm. His real arm, his solid arm because he was real. "I...Reg-how? Y-You're dead you were- you're dead."

It hadn't registered. Not right away at least. Hearing his name leave Evan's lips... That's what did it. Thats what brought Regulus back into the land of This wasn't just some passerby, this was Evan Roiser. The man he thought about messaging nearly every day. The man he had wanted to reach out to and let him know he was alive. Breathing. Maybe he could have convinced Evan not to look for him or that what was left of him wasn't worth finding but he doubted that. Blood pooled in his memory. The sound of spell after spell being cast just a little too far away to help. The pound of his heart against his rib cage and his feet against the pavement. Alastor's cackles and Evan's snappy spells. The spray of blood that flew against the dark clouds that covered the sky that day. The thump of Evan's body falling back against the ground. His arm gone. His blood running out of him like a river into the sea. Regulus couldn't recall what spells had left his lips as he made a break for Evan. He dropped to his knees, grabbed the man, and Apperated out of there. The last time Regulus had seen Evan he'd been recovering with some other Death Eaters. His face had been pale as the sheets he lay on. His side bandaged from shoulder to hip. So much blood loss... Now he was there and Regulus's heart wrenched with guilt. He felt hot tears spring into his eyes suddenly. He opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was, "Evan-" He nearly choked on his name. "I-I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to-" Regulus, for the first time since he died, let tears roll down his cheeks as he looked at Evan Rosier. Alive and only a few feet away from him.

[rosesofrosier]

Evan would try and say he didn't make it a habit to come to this grave. It was pathetic of him, really. The guilt of not being able to make it to the funeral ate at him every day. Regulus was, by all accounts, his best friend. Aside from his sister there was not a single soul in the world he trusted more. So what if he showed up to the grave every couple of weeks? So what if he would sit for hours just talking to the headstone as if by some miracle his friend would reappear in front of him. There had been whispers and rumors that his friend was still alive, that it was all a ploy. Evan would tell anyone who asked that it was bullshit, except that deep down, a part of him wished it were true. Regulus was his best friend, hell, Regulus was more than that to him. there wasn't a word that could properly describe what Regulus meant to him. Even before that night before Evans life had been ruined, he wouldn't have been able to put into words just how important Regulus was to him. So, sue him if when he was having a really bad day he came and sat with his friend, hoping to Merlin that he would just come back. Never in a million years did he think that, however, Regulus would be in front of him as he walked up. He was so shocked by the sight of the man in front of him he didn't even bother to watch his step as he stepped directly on the branch. He was so shocked he was sure his face had been devoid of all color as Regulus turned to *look at him*. Evan never thought he would see those green eyes staring at him again. He had to be losing it, this couldn't be real. "I-Regulus?" This was it, for all his wishing and hoping his mind had finally broken, he may as well book a room for himself in St. Mungos because he had finally lost it.

@pxint-it-blxck

Location: Godricks Hollow - Graveyard

Open: Everyone

Precious son, Beloved Black.

The script under his name was odd to read. Precious son. Perious. It actually made Regulus laugh a bit. However, he didn't smile as the amused sound left his throat. Rubbing his hand across his chin, his fingers shaking lightly he looked over his own headstone once more. It was jarring to see. His name is carved into the black stone and those little lies in such pretty script below them. The only thing that had ever been precious about Regulus, at least as far as his parents were concerned, was his ability to carry the Black name forward. Of all his blood relatives, they could be left in the dark about his resurrection the longest. However, if they knew he had betrayed the Death Eaters and played a hand in reducing Tom to ash then they probably wouldn't want anything to do with him. Which, was best for everyone. Lifting his chin slightly, Regulus was about to stop pitying himself and go when he heard the crack of a branch behind him. Looking over his shoulder, his gaze near lazy, Regulus let his green eyes drift to whoever was behind him. "If you are trying to get the jump on me that was a pathetic excuse for sneaking." He drawled. "If not-" Regulus shrugged, "Maybe annonce yourself before wallking up behind someone."

[rosesofrosier]

Character name: Evan Rosier Age & Birthday: 20, September 13th Gender & Pronouns: Male, he/him Occupation: Unemployed Blood status: Pureblood (secretly 1/8th Veela) Previous house: Slytherin Previous Affiliation: Death Eaters Face claim: Tom Blythe Positive: Charming, Ambitious, Disciplined Negative: Vain, Apathetic, Arrogant

Evan Rosier was born into a house of privilege. He never had to want for anything. Being the first born and only son Of Druella Rosier and Evan Rosier Sr. He had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Alongside his twin sister Evan learned the most important rule growing up was presenting himself properly. The Rosiers were a family of seduction and both Evan and his sister learned early on how to use their looks to get what they wanted from people. He grew up being told that a witch had just *gifted* their family with charisma and good looks, as he got older however he learned the truth. The truth that could never be spoken about, less their families status in the sacred 28 be ruined. Evans great grandfather had fathered a child with a Veela. Evan is still unclear on all the details but apparently his great grandmother had struggled with fertility and had been approached by the Veela who wanted nothing more than to have a child of her own which, the Rosiers saw as a perfect opportunity to save face. Apparently both his grand parents had plotted on the side and as soon as his grandfather was born The Rosiers killed her and took the child for themselves, passing off Evans grandfather as their child. Evan is pretty sure the details are more gruesome but, 10 year old him had never thought to question it. Whatever went down had gone down long before he was even thought of and it wasn't his problem. All he knew now was that he had a secret to keep and powers to use. Suddenly he was all too aware at just how easy it was to use his looks to his advantage, suddenly, all the times he was lectured about his messy hair or dirty clothes made sense. If you looked good, and with the small amount of Veela in him he did, you could get people to do whatever. By the time he started school he had practically mastered it. At 11 years old he knew just how to speak and smile in a way that would charm almost anyone, it got him out of trouble more times than he could count and it made it incredibly easy for him to get people to do his work. It only got worse as he got older. Suddenly it went from just being charming to his peers to his peers also being attracted to him, which, gave him even more power. They were all too easy to manipulate.

Because of this, Evan spent a lot of his time at school virtually friendless. Sure, he had people who considered him a friend, but when it came to who Evan thought he could truly trust to like him for him, well, there wasn't many. He tended to stick to his sisters side, who by all accounts, was really the only person he could 100% trust. She was the only one who knew what it was like, if anything, she had it worse, despite Evans attempts to shield her from the harsh realities of people. They all wanted something, they fawned over him like he was nothing but an animal and while he learned quickly how to use that, his sister was a bit more naive. If anything, it only angered Evan more. Made him even more inclined to use people, if he got to them first, used them and discarded them, his sister would never experience it. So, thats what he did. He flirted with, slept with, dated anyone and everyone. If Evan could get them to look his way he went for it, no matter how boring it was and how useless it made him feel. He began to get reckless. Not just in his habits of sleeping around but in his life in general. He began picking fights, hexing random students, it wasn't long after he turned seventeen that his father had reached out to him telling him that The Dark Lord had taken a notice, apparently someone else in the school was an informant and gave him Evans name directly as someone that would be useful, not just for his dueling skills but for his manipulation as well. Evan didn't need to even think about it when the Dark Mark was pushed on him. Truthfully, he didn't give a rats ass about either side of the war, but he had become addicted to the thrill of the battle and using his looks to get people to trust him was what he was good at so if thats what it took to make the Dark Lord happy enough to use him in battle, well, thats what he would do. It was only towards the end of the war that it bit him in the ass. It was supposed to be a simple raid, not too dangerous, especially with their numbers. No one expected the Auror Alastor Moody to be there. Most of the other Death Eaters had the sense to flee, Evan however, addicted to the thrill of it, tried to stick around. He was skilled enough to take Alastors eye in the end but Evan barely walked away from the battle, he still has no idea just how he managed to. The last thing he remembered was being hit with Diffindo and then everything went black. He woke up in his own bed being tended to by a random healer his dad had hired. He woke up without his arm. Magical prosthetics are such an amazing thing, hes heard that a thousand times a day since he woke up, but, they weren't so amazing that they could make up for the real thing. They weren't so amazing that he could still cast spells, the prosthetic allows him to hold his wand, sure, but he can't cast spells with it since theres nothing channeling his magic through the wand. His dueling abilities are nothing compared to what they used to be. He isn't even good enough to duel a fucking first year. To top that off, he's no longer the perfect looking person he was, he's missing a whole fucking arm. The one thing, the one thing he was good at, good for he wasn't anymore. Who the hell would want him now that he no longer looked perfect?