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Easier than submitting a bug report

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I really loves him

He really loves the Snorlax pillow …

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I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”

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when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.

then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.

so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.

one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.

my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.

all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol

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tony: im in target do you need anything

peter: oh just pjs i guess

tony: okay

-

peter, staring at airplane ownership papers in his hands: pjs as in pajamas, mr stark, not private jets, what the fuck,

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Hey, I love them.

Src. 

Twitter // @ AchievementHunt

Tweet: (x)

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(｡♥‿♥｡)

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this is the best thing I’ve ever seen on twitter

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Airports are fucking weird. Like I’m dressed like it’s ‘95 drinking wine and there’s a dude in a three pieced suit next to me, someone in pajamas, someone who looks like they’re going to the gym after this, and like a million button up shirts.

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Otter teaches human how to pet him.

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This is Grinch

Things my half-moon conure, Grinch, does: He will stop whatever he’s doing to attack the scrubber brush I use to clean his cage. His favorite song is Super Bass by Nicki Minaj and he will sing to it (not very well, but he knows the rhythm). He blesses himself when he sneezes. He’s fascinated with flinging LEGO pieces. His nicknames include “Green Taco,” “Mighty Falcon,”“Baby Avocado,” and “Loud Banana.” He’s a bitty bitey boy but I love him.

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*gasp*

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This is the story of a birb

Who opened her beak and screamed at the world

And while she looked so sad on the internet

I absolutely love her

When she smiles

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Depression: No do thing. Tired.

Me: Okay well. Maybe if I go to sleep super duper early, I’ll get a decent amount of sleep.

Insomnia: You Fool. You absolute goddamn idiot

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Wet birb is best birb

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ITS NAME IS FLOP