rosybetta

[rosybetta]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[rosybetta]

it’s the fate of all blonde men to die a gruesome peculiar hamster-like death

[rosybetta]

It spoke your name on the stairs that night.

[rosybetta]

Tomfoolery actually transitioned and only does she-nanigans now

[rosybetta]

sick to death of everyone being rail thin and wearing their hair in a slicked back bun. this summer and forever i'm all about big thighs big boobs big butts and perhaps most importantly big hair

[rosybetta]

[rosybetta]

Hey im gana leave my dog here can you keep her safe?🐕

yes yes of course i will keep your dog safe

[rosybetta]

Fresh off the market this ->🐕 little dog now only $4.99! Get in quick!

[rosybetta]

You never know where I'm shitposting from 😈

[rosybetta]

i would love to enjoy the whump community posts but i just can't stop getting bitchslapped every time by the word "whumpee," possibly the most unsexy and awkward word ever invented

[rosybetta]

[rosybetta]

when u get anxiety medication for the first time

[rosybetta]

"Aabria Iyengar tweeted about the Ethersea theme song, and she was so kind, and she said it was great, and she said, ‘Griffin really put his whole McElussy behind this one.’”

PAX West 2023, McElroy Family Q and A Panel

[rosybetta]

my penis exploded in the kiln

[rosybetta]

being depressed and resentful is so embarrassing I feel like a cartoon villain

[rosybetta]

coat shedding

[rosybetta]

In a world where genies are commonplace and delight in granting wishes in the most inconvenient way possible, you are a defense attorney who must defend your client, a well-meaning genie who is charged with felonious wish-granting.