rosywithwanderlust - Tumblr blog

[rosywithwanderlust]

"I was... I was the last person you saw?" The memory had appeared in her head while she was within the first few months of the parallel universe, but she could not determine when it happened in the Doctor's timeline. It could have been a coincidence before Doomsday, or perhaps after, but she never would have guessed it was near his end. "Did you save it? The world, I mean?"

"I dunno Doctor. I've changed, though in a very different different way than you have. I've changed for the worse." However, she ponders his words for a moment. "I am. Happy, I mean. It's real confusin' with two versions of the same man runnin' around, how am I supposed to choose between the same person, but besides that, I'm alright."

"How are you Doctor? Are you happy?"

[open]

[rosywithwanderlust]

She prepares to launch into the inevitable counterargument, continuing to prove her point, but as soon as her mind comprehends the words, she goes silent. Her thoughts stop whirring, her heart quits beating, and she freezes. The first glimmer of logic attempts to convince her that she misheard, "do doves chew" or something of the like, but as the phrase repeats in her head, she cannot deny it. 

Rose knew he had been on the verge of saying it multiple times within the past, but she had accepted that the opportunity had passed. She had left it behind, trying to move forward with her life, but in the moment, she realizes she had never stopped longing for the words all along. "I- I love you too."

Tweaked Truths || Ten and Rose

He opens his mouth to protest once more, but can find no more words. You’re wrong, he wishes he could say. I want you to be safe, he thinks. But instead, the words that come out of his mouth are, “I love you.”

The instant the words are spoken, he tries to backpedal, but it muted by the silence of the truth he’s just spoken. Lies refuse to tell themselves, to cover up what could only do more harm than good, and the Doctor just stares at Rose with wide eyes.

[rosywithwanderlust]

"You don't think? Are you makin' this up as we go along?" Her voice raises slightly on the last word, and the lighter tone makes the excitement nearly tangible. "Oh, so will there be aliens? And will I get to see you use the sonic again?" Rose's eyes turn a few shades brighter as her mind tumbles through thoughts, and her cheeks become even more pink as he pulls her closer to him.

"So, what've you been up too? Stranded, I bet you're real happy 'bout that."

Yearning for Adventure || Rose and the Tenth Doctor

"No planes, and I don’t think we’ll need to catch a bus…” he drifts off, expecting to see some disappointment from Rose. He turns his gaze back to the street so he won’t need to see it. He lips quirk into another smile as she mentions the Slitheen. “Something like that,” he replies and picks up his pace and pulls Rose a bit closer to him, as they pass by a group of people.

There hasn’t been any invasion to his knowledge so far — but then again, he never really know until things start going awry.

[rosywithwanderlust]

“How?” It is a plea for understanding, a cry for his reasoning. Rose cannot fathom that he would want her after all the terrible things she had said and done to him, especially when she firmly believes that he deserves so much more. “No.” It’s the only response she can conjure to his question, her puzzlement evident on her features as she shakes her head ever so slightly.

“Yeah, you are pretty stupid for waiting around for me.” The words are earnest, for she genuinely feels like she does not deserve his unyielding affection.  “I mean, it means everything to me, knowing you waited for me for so long, but I could’ve never come around. I could’ve been stuck in the loop of the past until I die, and that means you would have sat around waiting for me until I was gone. You deserve a life outside of me.”

“Why? What makes me so special that you’d pick me above anybody else? I’m nothing unique, just a normal girl from a normal shop. There’re no secret talents or hidden intelligence or any of that. I’m just, well, just Rose.” She shrugs slightly.

She shudders as he takes her hands in his, initially recoiling at the touch but settling into it after a few moments. Warmth and a serene sensation radiate from the contact, and it takes her a moment to adjust to the sudden change in mood.

 “No, what you deserve is most definitely still a matter of speaking. Without you, the universe would be a cruel place. You’ve saved me so many times, from aliens and from myself, and made me feel alive. You deserve more than anyone else, far as I’m concerned.” She manages to chuckle through the tears before attempting to wipe away the blurred vision. “Those ears were pretty daft, weren’t they? Though I still dunno ‘bout that hair…” She tousles it lightly, a weak attempt at a smile upon her lips. However, the tears continue as he speaks, claiming he was made to love her. She tries to speak without words to say, but it quickly turns into more tears. “I- I dunno what to say.”

Keep Me Warm || Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor

[rosywithwanderlust]

Rose rolls her eyes at his automatic response, though it wouldn't be the first time he surprises her with their new location. She doesn't mind being surprised, not at all, but it is always rather fun to tease him about it.

She scoffs playfully, a slight skip to her step. "Y'know, it'll be just as fun if you tell me now." Her gaze skims the surroundings as they walk, hands interlocked. "Come on, you could at least tell me if we're gonna have to hop buses or planes or somethin'." A grin is spread across her features as her mind considers all the possibilities. She never viewed London as an exciting place in the past, but with the Doctor by her side, the possibilities are endless. "Ooh! Are we going to go find some hidden alien species? Like that time the Slitheen crashed into the Thames?"

Yearning for Adventure || Rose and the Tenth Doctor

He chuckles at her question, and responds with the obligatory, “I told you it’s a surprise!” It isn’t so much that he doesn’t want to tell her or that wants to tease her, but that he’s a bit scared to tell her where they’re going. He doesn’t have a functioning TARDIS anymore, and he can’t risk another trip.

But after everywhere they’ve been together, it feels a bit like anything less than at least another country will feel like a disappointment. He can’t be the same Doctor that took her across galaxies - not right now - and there’s a bit of insecurity that goes along with that. He wonders if this is how his metacrisis counterpart felt when he first ended up on Pete’s World with Rose.

His thoughts are starting to wander again, and he tries to focus them back on Rose. “-won’t be as fun if I spoil it so soon.”

[rosywithwanderlust]

"New Years? That was old you?" Rose looks surprised at the sudden information, unable to believe that the event happened after she met the Tenth Doctor. The memories were implanted in her mind while she was occupying the parallel universe, but she didn't question them too much. Time was fluid, and she had accepted that.

"I don't deserve it, trust me." She doesn't want to admit that she screwed things up to the man who had done so much to ensure she had every chance, especially when she neglected each and every one. It causes her heart to ache. 

[open]

[rosywithwanderlust]

His words cause her chest to ache, her heart sinking beyond that terrible Doomsday or anything after. They do not often speak of what happened before they returned to Rose’s original dimension, and she is unable to cope with the sheer amount of force his words contain. Everything becomes blaringly clear as the words flow from his mouth, and she cannot help but be faced with everything she has run away from for so many years.

Tears to continue to flow down her cheeks as she attempts to speak, and Rose is forced to take a moment to steady her breathing. “And is it really so hard for you to believe I thought you may have found someone else? That’s what’s best for you! I’ve treated – I’ve treated you terribly, running away for years and years while hiding from you and everything you had to offer me, TARDIS or no. I’ve ignored you and pretended like you weren’t there. I’ve been horrible, and I have done absolutely nothing to deserve you. Is it so bad for me to think maybe, just maybe, you managed to find someone who actually deserves you? Who loves you without holding back, without ever comparing you to another man? Someone better than me?” Her hands are clenched to her arms, and she turns away from him, unwilling to look him in the eye. “Because when it comes down to it, I don’t deserve you. Not at all. I don’t deserve to have you as a friend with the way I’ve treated you, and now you’re telling me you love me? Thinking you could maybe have moved on, found somebody else, is the best thing that could happen to you! You wouldn’t have to sit around and wait for a girl who has problems making up her mind or making big decisions, you’d have someone who deserves you.”

Rose clamps her eyes shut, her heart laden with guilt and her thoughts dizzy from the speed she is speaking at.

“I want to deserve you because I love you. I want to settle down and do the whole domestic thing with kids and some lousy job. I want that, but I can’t just reach for it and take it because that wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve someone better, and I want you to have that, someone who won’t hesitate to tell you that they love you, someone who you’ll never have to worry about falling for a different version of yourself. You deserve all that and more, and I can’t give it to you.” Her hands are outstretched towards him, empty, and she drags her gaze to his.

Keep Me Warm || Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor

[rosywithwanderlust]

"No, it couldn'tve." She persistently places her hands on either side of his face, directing his gaze downwards so his brown eyes focus upon her own. Rose feels the urge to stress the importance of this situation so he becomes aware of the good he has done. "Nobody has your compassion. Nobody cares enough to go through time and space to help others. People are selfish, not willing to make their own sacrifices for others, but not you. You've saved so many, and there is nothing the universe could do to repay you." 

Denial strikes, dictating her words without any governing logic. "You're wrong." She takes a deep breath to steady herself before proceeding. "I mean, I don't think the universe would be here without you, and I kinda live in the universe..." A strained laugh escapes her lips at the rather terrible attempt at humor, and she decides to try another tactic. "Without you, I probably would've married Mickey. Had two point five kids, white picket fence, the whole shebang. I would've been living, sure, but it wasn't until you came along that I was truly alive. You took me to places I could never go, taught me things I could never learn, and safety is nothin' compared to all that." 

Tweaked Truths || Ten and Rose

He knows that her words are the truth, but he’s used them to duck for cover and excuse himself too many times now for them to hold the same meaning anymore. The universe would have burned, crumbled, splintered and cracked. He’d have witnessed it all.

But he witnessed it over and over, even without the Time War. Species fighting for power and authority. At least it was a fight and an effort. The Doctor had just crept in where he didn’t belong and taken a weapon so much greater and more powerful than himself. He’d walked miles and miles to hide from his oldest friend, hidden in shame and guilt. The rest of it faded inro a blur of surpressed memories, but he knew once it was over that he was truly alone in the universe.

"Could’ve been someone else," he muttered shaking his head, and nudging her hand away. He meets her gaze, with hesitation, eyes burning with regret. "You would’ve been safe, Rose. You would’ve been safe without me."

[rosywithwanderlust]

A pang of guilt shoots through her momentarily as her thoughts flicker to the Metacrisis Doctor, but she quickly dismisses them. They were the same man - how was she ever supposed to chose? Or refuse one? They are both the man who she loves, and she could never turn away either one of them in fear of hurting them even further.

Rose relaxes in his embrace, feeling as if his arms can physically protect her from the corruption of the world. "It's been too long," she murmurs quietly as he takes her hand, and she cannot resist a broad grin spreading across her face. Oh, how she had missed this.

"Yeah, course." She leads him out of the flat, locking it behind her before slipping the key in her pocket. "So, where to this time?"

Yearning for Adventure || Rose and the Tenth Doctor

His grin widens as she says it sounds promising, and the excitement he’d felt coming into the flat returns once more. It’s Rose. He’s with Rose again. And aside from all that may or may not have happened while they’d been separated, they’re together now, and that’s all that matters for the moment.

His arms wrap around Rose tightly, the second he feels hers on his back. “‘s good to see you too, Rose,” he replies, smile brighter than before. He pulls away slowly, but grabs her hand before he steps away.

Clearing his throat lightly, he nudges her in the direction of the door. “Shall we?”

[rosywithwanderlust]

But it's different now, I suppose. I mean, there's three of him running around, and one of them's human and has stuck by me for years. [Rose runs a hand through her hair, trying to reach whatever point she had initiated the conversation with.] But your different River. He committed. Married you. [Her tone softens.] Probably said he loved you.

An Older Side to the Professor | Rose and River

[rosywithwanderlust]

I mean, like, [Rose stutters, contemplating just abandoning the topic. However, some bold streak within her causes her to continue.] How'd you become something more? He just made it seem like it was never an option.

An Older Side to the Professor | Rose and River

[rosywithwanderlust]

"I said what on earth did you think you were doin' when you dropped off another version of yourself with me?" Rose runs a hand through her blonde waves, subtle distress within her brown eyes. "I mean, didn't you think there was some chance we would all be reunited?" She figures she cannot approach either of the Tenth Doctors about this, so she addresses the next direct source. 

[open]

"—Right, could you repeat that so I’m sure I’ve heard that straight?"

[rosywithwanderlust]

Hey, uh, [Rose hesitates upon seeing the other girl crying, but she immediately shifts into comfort mode. She oftentimes took it upon herself to help others in whatever way possible, and this was no exception.] it's Clara, right? [She briefly recalls their previous encounter.] What's wrong?

[She had just taken a moment to look around at the crowd of people. She wasn’t even sure what had caught her eyes, but within a second she had frozen up. Her body tensed, and her heart hammered in her chest. And then suddenly, she was jostled by someone beside her in the crowd.] Sorry, I— sorry. [That was when she realized her cheeks were wet.]

[rosywithwanderlust]

Then I'm probably not who you thought I was. [A friendly grin embeds itself onto her features as she shrugs slightly.] Like I said, I'm Rose. Nice to meet you. [She extends a hand.]

Oh, hello. [Rose and Ollie]

Nope, I don’t know anyone called Rose. Sorry! [He chuckled, smiling at the blonde.] I’m Ollie by the way. 

[rosywithwanderlust]

Rose notices the glimmer of shock on the woman's face, but she immediately dismisses it due to her peculiar actions. Even if a stranger was doing something odd, most people would not approach them to ask about it. 

"Energy detector huh?" A small smile pulls at the corners of her lips. "I had a friend, well have a friend - it's all very complicated," Rose shakes her head slightly, attempting to avoid the impending tangent regarding the Doctor and the Metacrisis Doctor. "Well, anyways, he has somethin' just like that. What're you lookin' for?"

London Troubles || Valeyard & Rose

The Valeyard was completely thrown off by the voice she heard, entirely too familiar. She stared at her for a moment, eyes widening in shock and surprise before she managed to pull herself together.

"It’s an energy detector," she explained, trying to keep a pleasant smile on her face. She reminded herself that she was just some stranger on the street for Rose, and if she could manage to pull it off, she’d stay that way. "It picks up trace energy from all around it."

[rosywithwanderlust]

"How could it be anyone else?" Her tone is gentle, attempting to convey comfort and understanding. "You were able to do what had to be done because you knew what was at stake. You knew the alternative." She takes a deep breath to steady herself before proceeding. 

"Besides, there isn't a universe without you Doctor. It doesn't exist." This is Rose's truth, her firmest belief. The Doctor maintains the peace across worlds, pursuing darkness regardless of time in hopes of eliminating it. Without him, the galaxy would be overrun with malice enough to corrupt even the most pure of heart, and Rose is convinced that she could not exist in such conditions. He kept and continues to keep her alive. 

"I dunno what Earth would do without you, what I would do without you. My Doctor." Rose affectionately places her hand on the Doctor's cheek, her warm eyes fixated upon his own. 

Tweaked Truths || Ten and Rose

He knows that Rose is right, of course she is, he’s used that very same argument to convince himself that he made the right choice. But still, his guilt refuses to perish. He still killed them, and he still walked out alive. Saving the universe from the Daleks had been his aim, but all he had accomplished was destroying his species.

"Why does it need to be me?" he asks, finally meeting her gaze. There’s shame in his eyes, along with his regrets and losses. And he truly means it when he asks that this time. Why could it not have been anyone else? Someone who’d done well in the academy, perhaps. Someone who made better choices. Why couldn’t it have been someone else? He’s tired of failing the universe. He can’t see why Rose was defending him either - he has failed her too.

[rosywithwanderlust]

"A surprise?" A childish grin, wide with excitement, spreads across her lips, and she cannot deny that she has missed adventure more than anything. The sensation of adrenaline is unparalleled throughout the universe. "Sounds promising." Her brown eyes meet his for a moment before she glances away shyly, pink spreading across her cheeks.

After she concludes the tedious chore of cleaning, she glances down at her attire. Though paint is splattered across the strawberry shirt, she deliberately elects to ignore it because it adds an unusual dash of vivid color.

Then, on sheer impulse alone, she wraps her arms around the tall, familiar man before her. "It's good to see you again Doctor."

Yearning for Adventure || Rose and the Tenth Doctor

Stepping inside the flat feels a bit like stepping into one of his memories. As a constant traveler, he doesn’t revisit too many places. It feels a bit like coming home, and he had to shake his head slightly to dispell that feeling. He glances over at Rose.

"It’s a surprise," he replies with the same grin, but it startled a bit, but the splatters of paint. He doesn’t remember Rose painting much during their time together. Of course, he doesn’t know how long she was stuck in Pete’s World for. He isn’t sure he wants to.