rottforthought

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Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

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ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

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You fuckers are really doing this now while I'm at work??

okay who needs their ass eaten for 2 hours

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Explorers: Ever know what a unhealthy attachment to a Grovyle is like?

Me: No???

Explorers: WOULD YOU LIKE TO?

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"What? You can't reblog everything on your dash just cause you like it! That's what the little heart button is for!"

Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do with my blogs.

Triple Dog Death Barrage! HIYAH!

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your online pets are worried about Y2K

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Mentally making techwear and scenecore kiss like Barbies in the backseat of my mom's 2001 Saturn l-series.

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Looks like a chelicerate from Subnautica: BZ

solifugae shark

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Nikka

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soju may taste like juice but theres no way the memes aren't ridiculously exaggerated. this bottles only 5 units it cant affect me that considerably

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reblog this to pet the user you reblogged from please

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hanging out with a dollgirl when someone comes up and misgenders it

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Add me to the queue of ppl who need these done to them.

The only correct way to talk to transbians:

Compliment them immediately. Doesn’t matter if it’s their outfit, their voice, their eyes—just make sure they know they’re hot. Bonus points if they get flustered.

Use their yearnings as a second language. If you’re not at least a little dramatic about how breathtakingly beautiful they are and how you’d absolutely perish if they so much as brushed their fingers against your cheek, are you even trying?

Tease them just enough to make them squirm. A little playful banter, a well-placed “Oh? You like that?” and suddenly they’re blushing and looking away, which is exactly the desired outcome.

Be gay. Be so gay. Every sentence should be at least 30% flirting, 50% sapphic pining, and 20% sheer lesbian chaos.

Remind them they’re gorgeous, wanted, and absolutely irresistible. Because they are. And they should know it.

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Awkward, goofy trans girls, all flustered and hopelessly smitten, tripping over their words and clinging just a little too long. I want slow, lingering kisses with her on a lazy morning—no expectations, no rush, just the warmth of her body pressed against mine, the soft sighs between kisses, the way she melts into me. Just two trans girls tangled up in love, where the rest of the world fades away, and all that matters is the way she looks at me like I’m her everything.

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King shit