royalarchivist

[royalarchivist]

Roier: Oh fck, I have lag. 😰 Oh fck, Jaiden...

Jaiden: Oh no, hang in there! Hang in there, man! [Laughs]

Roier: Ok ok, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here! Aqui estoy, aqui estoy! Aqui estoy, aqui estoy.

Jaiden: Don't worry, I've- I've got– I've got good– taking good care of us! We're- we're alright.

Roier: Ok! [Laughs] Ok, no worries, no worries!

Jaiden: I will protect you! ⚔️

Roier: I- ok– [Laughs] Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

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Jaiden: I heard all the Waypoints also reset–

Roier: Me too– oh fck, I have lag. Oh fck, Jaiden...

Jaiden: Oh no, hang in there! Hang in there, man! [Laughs]

Roier: Ok ok, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here! Aqui estoy, aqui estoy! Aqui estoy, aqui estoy.

Jaiden: Don't worry, I've- I've got– I've got good– taking good care of us! We're- we're alright.

Roier: Ok! [Laughs] Ok, no worries, no worries!

Jaiden: I will protect you!

Roier: I- ok– [Laughs] Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

Roier: Yeah, some– Oh! Look, look– um, press tab?

Jaiden:Tab?

Roier: Look at my connection. Tab. You know?

[Roier is at two bars]

Jaiden: OH NO! You're- you're drowning!

Roier: [Laughs] Yes, si, mira– look at this, look at this!

Jaiden: Stay with us, man! [Laughs]

Roier: Two bars, two bars! I'm fcked!

The- the heart monitor is- is fading!

Roier: I'm sorry.

Jaiden: Hopefully it's not too too bad.

Roier: The- the- the old days when I- when I had a good connection... [Sniffs sadly]

Jaiden: Yeah... and then the French came!

Roier: [Laughs] But it's not– it's not the French! It's the server! Quackity, paga servidor, pay the server, Quackity!

[royalarchivist]

Jaiden: People are like– "Oh, how did you become so attached to a Minecraft pixelated Egg? 🤨" and it's like, dude– When you're- when you log on to... and– It's the Tamagotchi effect, you know?

Jaiden: When you log on- on to take care of a little e– a little creature, every day for like, 3 weeks– [Laughs] It does something to you! It does something to you, man!

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Fit: [Reading chat] Hideduo says: "Ok, my phone's at 4%" How do you let your phone get that low, that's crazy! What have you been doing all day, you been trading stocks?!

Fit: Yeah guys, Hideduo is gone. Their phone's only at 4%, so we've lost them. Hideduo is dead. Figuratively and literally. No, I'm just joking.

Fit: Like I said, hideduo will never die, as long as it's alive in your hearts! These two men pretending to be gay will live forever in your hearts! Don't forget that.

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Slimecicle: [Reading chat] Someone just came out as trans? Oh! Congrats on finding yourself, man! That's awesome. Or woman! Sht. Ok– regular like, gender...? Ok, I feel like– Agh, I've already fcked it, I've already fcked it! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Congratulations!

Slimecicle: The gender-neutral– [Stammers] Lady– Oh sht, oh sht, listen– I– [Laughs] Good job! Oh, fck. Oh, sht... Oh no, oh no...

Slimecicle: But seriously, that's- that- that's amazing! That's amazing, you should be very very proud of yourself! 🫶

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Ironmouse: Left stomach! Left stomach! Left stomach YOU FCKING PUTA COÑO, I SWEAR TO GOD! LEFT STOMACH! LEFT STOMACH! Oh— [Realizes she got a raid from Etoiles] Oh, Etoiles! Etoiles, thank you for the raid! I had fun today, thank you for the raid, I hope you had a fun time, I had fun. Hello everybody! Please forgive me, and what I'm about to say right now—

Ironmouse: YOU FCKING CUNT, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA FCKING KILL YOU— LEFT STOMACH!!!!!

[royalarchivist]

yeah man?

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foolish: bending my knees makes me faster? no it does. dude i learned bending my knees does help. cause i become more aerodynamic. that's science 101. newton discovered that by the way. you know that? an apple fell on his tree, and then- and then thats when he discovered the aerodynamicicy um funneled with wind currency helps create a faster movement. help thus creating solar energy as we know it

[royalarchivist]

Abueloier: [While looking at the Ordo Theoritas logo] Look here, it says "Gordo tetitas, gordo tetitas" [fat tits].

Quackity: [Cracks up] Gordo-

Baghera: It's my name! :D

Quackity: What?

Abueloier: Gordo tetitas!

Quackity: [Cracks up again and starts hitting his desk]

Baghera: Ok! Let's go- to the Nether, guys, together!

[royalarchivist]

Cellbit: You were the first person I saw when I arrived on this island. In the middle of all that chaos, you were the first one that appeared in the glass, and when I saw your smile, I knew I would not forget it. When I needed somebody, when I was alone, you came. And I want you to know that as long as I’m here you will never be alone.

Roier: Cellbit. I didn’t prepare vows, however… I will speak from the heart. You are... the person I trust most. You are- You are the person I trust most. I love you. I love you with all my heart, and I will always be by your side for anything you need.

Happy 1 year wedding anniversary to the happy couple! In honor of these two, I've re-edited and subtitled the video of their wedding vows, because even one year later, it's still as sweet.

[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

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Roier: Cellbit?

Cellbit: Roier-

Capybara: [Recorded voice] Excellent!

Cellbit: You were the first person I saw when I arrived on this island. In the middle of all that chaos, you were the first one that appeared in the glass, and when I saw your smile, I knew I would not forget it. When I needed somebody, when I was alone, you came. And I want you to know that as long as I’m here you will never be alone.

Roier: Awww

Etoiles: Whoaaa that’s so sweet!

Baghera: Aww….

[...]

Roier: Cellbit. I didn’t prepare vows, however… I will speak from the heart. You are.. the person I trust most. You are- You are the person I trust most. I love you. I love you with all my heart, and I will always be by your side for anything you need.

Padre Peta (Maximus): Wow. And now, with the joy of everyone present, by the power vested in me, ( I ) pronounce you married! You may seal your commitment with a kiss!

Roier and Cellbit: Mwah!

[The crowd cheers]

Cellbit: Yeah!!!

Roier: Yeah!!!!!! Yeah!!!

Vegetta: Bravo, son!

Roier: Thank you, papi!

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Maxo: Where is Roier?

Cellbit: I don't know! He is in Japan– [Laughs] He went to Japan with Missa!

Tina: He's in Japan!

Cellbit: He left, he abandoned me.

Maxo: Confirmed that he doesn't love you? Question mark question mark?

Cellbit: "Question mark" [Laughs] Well, I guess we'll never know!

(VOLUME WARNING! via @ RoierEnglish )

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Phil: I swear to god, the translator is so fcking funny. Baghera: Oh ye- oh no [dissolves into laughter] NOOOOOO TODAY'S AWFUL.

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Jaiden: Fishing is just like– WHOA! Gay fish! 🌈🐟

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Cellbit: Everything is ok again, I'm not a sad gay man, I'm a happy gay man. What is this?

Bad: No, thank you, I appreciate Richarlyson.

Richarlyson: dad is saying how the final plan for the date was making sx

Cellbit: No– IT WAS NOT MAKING SEX! I'm not- I wasn't- I wasn't making–

Richarlyson: [Hits Cellbit repeatedly]

Bad: WHOA– WHAT THE FUDGE! Why would you say that in front of the kids?!

Cellbit: Sorry, sorry. No, 'cuz– he is lying!

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Mona: Hey.

Pac: [Laughs] Hi, it's nice to meet you. How are you?

Mona: I'm good, and you?

Pac: [Trying not to laugh] I'm alright! Sorry, this is the first time I've seen you! I've never seen a cat here – I've seen a dog, but a cat?

Mona: Charmed, I'm Mona. ✨

Pac: Mona? Mona, it's a pleasure to meet you! Wow... What a joy to have you here in my house, Mona! How cool.

Mona: Thanks. My collar is the latest fashion, it's Gucci. 💅

Pac: Oh?

Pac just met a new friend – a queer little cat with a trans flag bandana / collar named Mona!

[ Additional context: 'mona' is Brazilian slang used by gay people, and apparently Mona speaks like a very stereotypical Twitter gay]

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Slimecicle: Ok guys, do you have the 64- you have the stack of diamonds right– oh hey Missa.

Missa: I'm not part of the team, but I just want to tell you guys that I love you guys.

Foolish: FCK YOU!

Phil: Aww, love you too, man, love you too.

Baghera: Aww.

Slimecicle: I love you too, I love you too.

Baghera: You're gonna die.

Foolish: Wait- no! He's trying to coerce us!

Missa: We're all gonna die, SEE YA! SEE– [Missa disconnects]

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Foolish: I'm kinda like the mouth of Phil when he's not around.

Cellbit: Yeah, you have the same accent too.

Foolish: Yeah! Hola- oh wait, fck, he's not-

Slimecicle: Nope, nope, not even close.

Jaiden: You know, Phil loves saying "Hola".

Slimecicle: Yeah, Northern England accent right there.

Cellbit: Yeah, they always say that, those English people, they always say that.

Baghera: They just say "Hola, amigos!" all the time, I don't understand him.

Jaiden: He can't get enough of "hola."

Foolish: Bolas. Bolas.

Carre: [After saying absolutely nothing for 20+ minutes] Bolas and dick.

[They all laugh]