rpf-bat - Tumblr blog

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never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

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I dont care about ethics but rpf seems like it requires a lot of research.

Yeah but that's secretly the fun part.

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i duplicated bullets and all i got was this guy coming to my house to suck my blood

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I could get him pregnanbtttyttt

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i mean. who said that.

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a private jet lacks the sex appeal a tour bus posseses

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Me: The Lost Society fandom is very small. Even a well written story will struggle to find a large audience, due to the fact that the total number of people on AO3 reading LS fic is not large!

Also me: Why didn’t my Lost Sunday fic get more attention? Clearly it’s because everyone hates me personally.

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nurse rard

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Do you ever feel like all your friends like each other better than they like you?

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sooooo here's a bit of Olli/Allu something I wrote shortly after Emma Gaala 2024. I'm probably gonna regret posting this because 🫣 but I just reeeeeeaally love how this one turned out 💔

~

i.

[in the bedroom]

The tinkle of her earrings. The clack of her high heels against the laminate flooring. The click of a lipstick case closing. The beep of an incoming message, informing their cab has arrived.

It’s all too loud for Aleksi to handle, deafening in the middle of all that silence. He’d rush out of the house to escape it, but he’s still not wearing any shoes. 

He stares at the two pairs by his feet. The other is white, spotless, unused (unloved). The black leather ones Olli once said looked cool. 

He chooses the white ones.

ii.

[in the cab]

Sleet on the glass. Streetlights blinding him through the glossy view. The reds and the yellows tinted dark through the black hue of the backseat window. The back of the driver’s headrest becomes blurry, so Aleksi rubs his eyes.

They don’t talk, but that’s nothing new. She’s on her phone or stares out on her side of the car, at her side of the world. Aleksi stares at his own and wonders if hers is as gloomy as his.

Only a small Mercedes, yet the entire Grand Canyon between them. A spacey tour bus, yet Aleksi was always drawn to Olli like a magnet. It’s laughable, and the others do laugh at it, do make fun of them, and Aleksi ignores it, because what else was he supposed to do. Olli laughs along, because of course he does, because he isn’t stuck in the crumbling ruins of a relationship he’s too cowardly to abandon before it collapses on him. 

The Mercedes drives away, but the Grand Canyon stays.

iii.

[on the red carpet]

His new shoes soaked from the first puddle on his way to the venue. His tie like a rope around his neck so he rips it off and drops it in the bin by the door. The champagne glass cold against his hand, icy like the look in her eyes before she turns to the cameras.

Olli would’ve hated it, the flashing lights and the empty questions, would have rolled his eyes at them so only Aleksi could see, and then turn back to give the photographers the most stunning picture any of them would take that evening. She hates it too, though she doesn’t mind hiding it, and (selfishly) Aleksi lets her fake it for them both.

Her hand slithering around his arm, although he’s the snake with the way he wants to slither himself free from it, and with the way his mind is poisoned with guilt and disgust, and with the way he almost sinks to the ground when someone wearing Olli’s cologne walks past them. 

He was going to need another glass of sparkly wine to get a hold of himself (and to hold something instead of her hand).

iv.

[at the gala]

Joonas’ eyes staring at him from across the table are full of questions Aleksi can’t answer. He’s worried for him, Aleksi knows, but he doesn’t need Joonas’ judgement on top of his own.

“If there’s anything on your mind… you know you can tell me, right?” Joonas said the other day, and Aleksi appreciates the sentiment, but hell would freeze before Aleksi could tell anyone what was on his mind, never mind it’s a one-word answer.

Besides, as long as he leaves it all unsaid, he can still pretend it’s not true. If he keeps quiet, he can still convince himself he’s a good, loving boyfriend who’s not in denial about his feelings for a friend. He says nothing, so nothing ever happened. 

He’s confident about it for about three seconds. Three seconds, and then he notices the text message.

You both looked so good on the red carpet

Three seconds from that, and Aleksi’s thoughts are already somewhere else. 

∞

[in a hotel room]

Heavy breaths. Warm hands. Eyes as dark and terrified as Aleksi’s own. 

His moans. His mouth. His greedy fingers sinking into Aleksi’s hair. Aleksi has no energy, no willpower to stop them.

It happens, and Aleksi lets it happen. It happens, and it’s incredible in all the wrong ways and terrible in all the right ways. It happens, and it’s the best (and worst) thing that ever did happen. 

Olli smells of vanilla and hotel room soap. Somehow the scent is strongest in his neck, so that’s where Aleksi buries his nose and leaves the rest of his tired kisses before they fall asleep.

Olli lets him, so Aleksi supposes he’s not much better than him.

v.

[in the bathroom]

He stares at the text until he can’t see it anymore, until it becomes a blur and mixes with everything else in the message thread (pointless pictures and reckless I-miss-yous at three in the morning). 

‘You looked so good’, but not as good as you did that night, sweaty and breathless next to me. ‘You looked so good’, but not as good as you did when you climbed over me, pinned me down, sank inside me. ‘You both looked so good’, yes, she’s a goddess and you’re every bit as divine as she is, and I deserve neither of you.

And neither of you deserve me, the lowest scum of the earth for playing with you both like this. 

“Ale?” 

He can’t stop his breaths coming out in short gasps and choked sobs. 

“Ale, is everything okay? Should I get–”

“Don't.”

“Can you unlock the door, then? Please? Aleksi, I’m getting worried here. Have you taken something?”

He’s still sobbing when Joonas walks in. The spikes of Joonas’s jacket are rough against his cheek.

This time, Joonas asks no questions, not even with his eyes. There’s only oh, Aleksi, and I wish you’d just tell me already, but the tone isn’t demanding.

“Tomorrow,” Aleksi promises.

vi.

[outside]

Joonas redoes Aleksi's eyeliner and takes his hand. It’s no longer sleeting outside, but Joonas still wants his umbrella from the cloakroom. 

Aleksi reads the text again and squeezes Joonas’ hand. 

I wish you were here.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Joonas offers him a cigarette from the packet he made Aleksi fish from his pocket for him. He takes it and remembers Olli’s drunken cigarette kisses on a summer night in Oulu. 

I wish you were here. 

“Fuck, the wind is cold tonight.”

Aleksi agrees. He listens to Joonas’ nail decorations clink and thinks of Olli’s chain necklace on the bedside table next to his own.

I wish you were here.

“Gonna need another drink to warm up. I hope they’ll have some good whiskey.”

Olli’s lips tasted like whiskey once. Aleksi no longer remembers where it was, only that his own did too the morning after.

I wish you were here.

“Aight. Let’s get back inside?”

Aleksi almost gets too lost in the memory to answer. 

“Yeah, I’m right behind you, just… just need another moment.” 

Joonas looks at him almost long enough for Aleksi to follow him after all (or perhaps open his mouth and tell him everything right there on the street), but leaves eventually. The second he’s gone, Aleksi opens Olli’s text again.

The wind is blowing right through him, but it’s not enough to stop his fingers from moving along the keyboard.

I wish you were here.

That wasn’t the whole truth, and he knew Olli knew that. Hell, sometimes he felt as if the whole fucking world knew that, probably better than he himself did.

I wish you were here, so that we could snicker at Joonas speaking out of his turn in interviews. I wish you were here, so I could find your hand under the table and intertwine our fingers until someone would walk by and we’d get too scared. I wish you were here, so I could whisper you a joke only we find funny. I wish you were here, so I could take you somewhere no one can see us and bite your neck so that everyone will see it afterwards. I wish you were here, so I could take you anywhere else but here, because I can’t take you home with me.

I wish I could take you home with me.

I wish you were her.

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i don’t think band members understand that their hair probably means more to me than it does to them

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From Samy’s Instagram. April 24th, 2024.

Photographer: Pekka Keranen

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is reader x celebrity / celebrity x celebrity fanfiction weird, in your opinion?

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Well, I've been holding on tonight!

hey guys. I missed posting on here so much,.. how are you? :-) this is a Wip I just finished at school today!

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Red Tail Lights always puts me in the mood for a long car ride with Joel.

The sun is going down and the sky is turning purple red, before it gets dark and I can see the city lights in the distance. He is driving and I let him pick the playlist for the ride, it's mostly 00s rock and metalcore. We chat a bit, but for most of the ride we're silent, just listening to the music and enjoying each other's company. Our love language is neither verbal, nor very physical, but it's the intimacy of sitting next to each other in comfortable silence.

HELLO IM IN LOVE WITH THIS

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once again doing style studies in my free time and i’ve circled back around to gerard’s style. really enjoying parsing out the staples of his style and what makes it so appealing to me while also figuring out how to make it work with my own skills and quirks