rsvppitkincounty

[rsvppitkincounty]

how do i love my father

who throws my mom around

and loves me

and my mother

who finances my mistakes

with care now

how do i love my father

who throws my mother to the ground

does he still do it

who will even ever tell me

if not after death i may regret my love

who would she even tell

is that why she’s so weak

my heart fucking burns

and that is a motivator i hate connecting to

fuckmen

and then again like is it worth the trade

no never but it’s not my choice

and i do love the trade

it’s just fucked up

is all

fucking tiny dick losers who throw your mom around and then they love you together

fuck this fantasy

she knew what it took

to write my book like this

and i share this alone

it’s the highs and lows this weed cannot tame

corny as dame stupid ass game lol

[rsvppitkincounty]

hey justin i knew i said i wouldn’t entertain your thoughts any more just wanted to say its cool you never reached out you never knew any of my internal monologue except for something seemingly out of my control that i chose to share actually it’s probably for the best since i’ve been obsessing over you on social media and in my daily actions for the past 4 complete months i want to let you go now even though you’re just my type im obviously not quite yours in the same way and i appreciate that you chose not to hurt me instead of being selfish and using me the same way i would have used you. to fill a void and to distract myself, that’s why i wont press further i know im not in it for the good intentions i never am since im so disconnected from pure gratitude love and appreciation. i wish we could have been each other perfect match right here rig ur now we could’ve build each other up from the inside out but that’s not was ordained and i have a problem with this letting go thing like maybe in the future you never know anything could happy whatever if it does but i have all these pent up emotions about it now i don’t want to be mad at you i should have a life going on and you should be too. you don’t know my story i don’t know yours. i want to leave this in the path, leaving room for the future without any resentment held against you or anything other than pure list which is all it was originally because i have a specific type when it comes to fawning over men and you met that type to a fucking t but there’s hot men around the world i just want meant to get with this guy in the winter or spring of 22 maybe ill see him in public one day maybe i wont i dont know how ill act if i see him soon ill probably freak out and avoid eye contact cause im like that right now apparently and i want to have you i want you so bad but all i can do is toss my wishes into the wind and the universe may listen and respond and it will. i wanted you and i guess this is a goodbye letter to this thing i’ve become obsessed with as i usually do, but if i see you again ugh i hate this when will i be freeweeeeeeewweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i feel sick to my stomach when i read our conversation, our one conversation that’s all it took for me i don’t know what to do about this it’s not taken seriously in therapy maybe understandably but what is the cure for this besides ignoring it all and choosing yourself there really is none so whatever fuck there what ifs and build your dream life amen………. k bye justin

[rsvppitkincounty]

if i don’t wake up monday morning i’ll make it up to you -fka

[rsvppitkincounty]

Domenico Gnoli (Italian, 1933-1970)

[rsvppitkincounty]

trump won

and it’s like all the lights shut off

making that powering down sound

very very silent and quite

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom

[rsvppitkincounty]

AYO EDEBIRI

Before the academy gala by Morgan Maher (October 2024)

[rsvppitkincounty]

i just want to go limp

flip over fold in half

into his arms

he can carry and drag me

prop me up and protect me

i’m so baren and desperate

the hole in my chest and between my legs

burns yearns then mourns

why am i meant to feel this way over and over

again and again and again and again

do it again all over again

how sad and pathetic is enough for our father

art thou in heaven?

thy name have mercy

i always felt ignored in this way

no matter how i begged

so i guess i’ll just cry and try to wake up again

[rsvppitkincounty]

[rsvppitkincounty]

imbinitions

looked it up today

cliche weekday gag me

delay natural decay

release your inhibitions

feel the rain on your skin

no one else can feel it for you

only you can let it in

live your life with arms wide open

never really made sense

was but a shy child

cry smile reconcile

lost of for the sake of having friends

got em back cause i never grew up

[rsvppitkincounty]

#need him

[rsvppitkincounty]

i hate writing on my phone but i just need to get it out there that i wish i had a soft and loving touch to soften sharp pains and outbursts of nature our modern technology numbs and soothes just the internal force still acts on the object neglect the weight solve for the moment

[rsvppitkincounty]

[rsvppitkincounty]

instead of reaching out to you

or your newest form

i chose to put your shirt on

the one you let me have

i cut it up all choppy

and i remembered your house

so retro

anyway i put on your shirt

instead of calling you

cause your dick game sucks

we all know we all knew

and i can stay mad at that face

but i gave it a chance

youre a great guy

i think about you when i see trains

wondering if my iteration of you will be half as great or enamored drunk off a train trip

you’re great but i’m horny to plug the hole in my chest

and don’t want to barren the fag

just kidding same bestie

just two bottoms in the world

this world is fucking tiny actually not just small

but my birthday passed and i remained celibate

another year just the same

not worsened by the shame of men

so honestly thank you for that shirt

it’s provided me with hope

it’s my rosemary i count the stitches

its my heirloom i remember you

i remember what wasn’t and what was

so thanks again and see you hopefully not ever

but i fucking showed you my favorite spot smh

[rsvppitkincounty]

i stared at his chest

his tits

cause i couldnt look in his eyes

and i told him baby one day you just might be surprised

i dream

i daydream

of something that doesn’t exist

[rsvppitkincounty]

he said he liked my shirt

when he should have said id like any color shirt on me

it don’t matter the color of that shirt

i want you to

i need you

oh baby oh baby

[rsvppitkincounty]

Frederick Mershimer - First Snow (1998)

[rsvppitkincounty]

another day of saying things I don't necessarily even agree with