this is my main and I have way too many side RP blogs. I'm 34, post whatever, concert junkie with the best luck, and Im apparently a nature witch now. (Pedophiles, homo/trans/aphobes, terfs, racists, nazis... This blog is not for you.)
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We looked inside some of the posts by ruby-white-rabbit and here's what we found interesting.
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Reblog Per Post
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Reply Per Post
454
Time Between Posts
4 hours
Number of Posts By Type
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16
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Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr posted its first advertisements in May 2012 and subsequently earned $13M in revenue.
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You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:
Bitching and moaning
Hater-ology
Doing a goofy little bit about it
Having a buddy say "that's so fucked up" at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)
Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing
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side note more people should make characters schizospec. just for shits and also because everybody loves us forever
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Hey Tumblr why do I have to approve of seeing mature content MULTIPLE TIMES and also still have shit blurred when I click it off?
MULTIPLE. TIMES.
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This goes so fucking hard holy shit please watch
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Belted Kingfisher I know you don’t care but you mean everything to me girl
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Horny bitch in your area must let entire world she wants a man
I have only ever heard them do that chittering laugh noise. The SCREAM right outside my kitchen window at like 10pm had me prepared to call the cops and ambulance.
Ma'am. Please contain your lust for more reasonable hours.
Me, yelling to my husband to grab a flashlight as I run outside due to hearing screaming
Us, searching the creek and our surroundings subdivision
Him, spotting a fox
A fucking fox
I thought someone was dying
What does the fox say?
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Baby bird season is incoming and I’d like to remind everyone that birds do not have a significant sense of smell. Bird parents will not reject birdlets because you have handled them.
If you see smol birbs with few or no feathers on the ground, you can safely put them back into their nest, bird parents will still care for them.
If you see smol birbs with some or most feathers on the ground, please leave them there, as bird parents are probably nearby watching and feeding.
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Me, yelling to my husband to grab a flashlight as I run outside due to hearing screaming
Us, searching the creek and our surroundings subdivision
Him, spotting a fox
A fucking fox
I thought someone was dying
What does the fox say?
#idnonly ever yeard their little laugh chitter sounds#what the fuck#thats terrifying outside my kitchen in the dark
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Did this a while back, I posted it on twitter first
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Have you ever had a "viral" post on Tumblr? (200 notes or more)
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My friends Katie and Alex have gifted me with another ER story to share with you all.
You see, they have these friends. A couple. And this couple has a tingly lube that they love. So one day they’re about to get down and realize they’re out of tingly lube. So they go…. What do we have at home that tingles?
Now reader, if you ever find yourself thinking along those lines, please remember the sacred mantra: Horny people make bad choices.
They explored their kitchen. They found something that they felt sure would make a pleasant genital tingling. When my friends told me I buried my face in a pillow and screamed because what they decided to use for a little sexy zest was a squeeze bottle of lemon juice.
Presumably they doused the guys penis in lemon juice and then he thrust into his partner.
But it turns out.
Your face isn’t the only thing that puckers on contact with lemon juice.
Her vaginal muscles clamped down onto his dick like a fucking bear trap, latching on like a reverse knot that inextricably bound their crotches together for the foreseeable future.
And this was a problem not just because it probably hurt as she had effectively become a cock ring, trapping the turgid blood in his penis so he couldn’t go flaccid which would have resulted in nerve damage if they didn’t go to the emergency room.
So they go to the emergency room.
Now at this point I had so many questions because the sheer logistics involved. How did two people who were welded together at the crotch operate a car?
Their roommate took them.
I was I hysterics. How do you tell your roommate you just slathered yourself with lemon juice and got stuck together and he needs to drive you to the ER? I know they must have been in pain but it’s such a funny image. Did they call the guy in to behold their fusion? Did they text him?
Then I was like. How did they get dressed? How did they get to the car? How did they sit in the car? Imagining the crab walk of two people fused together at the pelvis had me in stitches but I imagine it was substantially less funny to actually experience it. How did they lay on a stretcher?
These details are not to know. In the end, they were separated safely and no one got nerve damage and now they are immortalized as yet another cautionary tale to not make decisions while horny. If you don’t have the necessary paraphernalia before you begin sex, go without if possible or accept that there can always be sex later to avoid a trip to the ER.
#i feel like the position chosen would matter too. like doggy style they just spoon. could wrap a blanket around them#how bumpy was the car ride?
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