ruinparadox

[ruinparadox]

Ways I Show a Character Who's So Used to Being Betrayed, They Expect It From Everyone

Trust issues aren't always loud. Sometimes they show up in quiet, brutal little habits that scream, "I don't believe anyone actually has my back." It���s not drama. It’s survival.

They assume every compliment has a hidden insult stapled to it. You say "You're amazing," and they hear "for now" echoing in the silence afterward.

They never believe good news at face value. Promotion at work? Must be a setup. Someone loves them? They're just saying that to get something. They treat joy like a suspicious email from a Nigerian prince.

They constantly have backup plans. Backup friends. Backup escape routes. Backup excuses. You think they're chill on that coffee date, but mentally, they've already figured out how to bolt if things go south.

They apologize before anything even happens. "Sorry if this is annoying!" "Sorry if I'm being weird!" "Sorry if existing is a burden!" They’re trying to soften the blow they’re sure is coming.

They test people—subtly. Saying something half-vulnerable just to see if you’ll use it against them. Canceling plans last minute to see if you’ll still call. They don’t even know they're doing it half the time.

They make self-deprecating jokes before you can. If they call themselves trash first, it won't sting as bad when you inevitably agree. (Their logic, not reality.)

They hesitate before trusting anyone with even small things. You ask "Hey, want me to grab you a coffee?" and they look at you like you just offered them a cursed artifact.

They act like they don't need anyone. Rugged Individualist vibes. But it’s a costume. Underneath, they’re just someone who got tired of needing people who didn’t stick around.

They overthink every interaction. You took too long to reply? You hate them. Your text was shorter than usual? You’re planning your exit strategy. Trust is a game of walking on knives blindfolded.

They expect betrayal so hard that when it doesn't happen, they almost don't know how to exist. Happiness? Stability? Kindness? It feels fake. They're waiting for the other shoe to drop—except it's not a shoe. It's a whole goddamn meteor.

[ruinparadox]

Ways I Show a Character Who Believes They’re the Villain in Everyone Else’s Story

╰ Behavioral Red Flags

They assume the worst intentions in themselves, even when they act out of love. They brought you coffee? Probably just guilt. They helped you move? Must be manipulating you so you "owe" them later. (They just care. But they can't believe that's true.)

They over-apologize for existing. You bump into them and somehow they’re the ones apologizing, looking like they've personally inconvenienced your entire bloodline.

They self-monitor everything. Every joke they make. Every word they say. Every look they give. Constant little glances at people's faces, desperate for signs that they’ve messed up again.

They let people treat them badly because they think they deserve it. Rudeness? Sure. Being overlooked? Of course. Public humiliation? Absolutely par for the course. Standing up for themselves feels wrong, like a thief demanding a refund.

They preemptively distance themselves when things get good. Got a close friendship brewing? Time to pull away before they find out I'm terrible. New romance? Better end it now before they hate me.

They assume jokes about "bad people" are secretly about them. "You know those selfish jerks who never change?" someone says. Their inner monologue: That’s me. They mean me.

They play up their flaws. Self-deprecating humor, but not cute self-roasting, deep, almost aggressive, like they’re trying to hand you the knife before you even think about stabbing.

They struggle to accept forgiveness. Apologizing feels natural. Being forgiven feels alien. Like wearing shoes on the wrong feet.

╰ Thought Patterns That Wreck Them

"Even when I try to do the right thing, I mess it up." Trying doesn't absolve them. Trying just delays the inevitable hurt they’ll cause someone else."People are nice to me because they don't know who I really am." Kindness isn't acceptance to them — it's a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode when the "truth" comes out.

"If someone is angry at me, they must be right." They don't even question it. Anger directed at them must be justified. They deserve it.

"If I succeed, it's by accident. If I fail, it's because I suck." Zero credit for wins. Full credit for losses. The math of their self-esteem is so rigged it should be illegal.

"If I ask for help, I'm manipulating people." Needing something feels like emotional blackmail in their mind. Better to suffer in silence than risk "forcing" someone to care.

╰ The Tiny Physical Tells

Laughing after their own serious statements, as if to soften the blow of speaking honestly.

Keeping their hands visible when talking (subconscious "I'm not a threat" behavior).

Flinching when someone raises their voice, even if it’s not directed at them.

Making themselves physically smaller—shoulders hunched, arms crossed, shrinking into themselves like they can disappear if they just try hard enough.

Dropping eye contact when complimented.

Holding their breath without realizing it when waiting for someone's reaction.

╰The Relationships They Gravitate Toward (And Why):

Fixer-Upper Friendships: They think they have to earn affection by being useful, by helping, by being "the strong one."

Unbalanced Dynamics: They let people use them because "at least I'm being helpful, even if they don't actually care about me."

Romantic Partners Who Validate Their Worst Fears: They often fall for people who treat them like they’re a burden—because it matches the script in their head.

Or... Relationships That Terrify Them: Because if someone genuinely loves them, they’re always waiting for the moment that person "wakes up" and sees the "monster" they believe themselves to be.

╰ How They Might Heal (If They’re Lucky)

(And if the author isn’t an emotional sadist. 👀)

A relationship where mistakes are allowed, not punished.

Someone calling them out, not for being bad, but for being unkind to themselves.

Tiny acts of trust that stick over time, slowly poisoning the idea that they’re inherently toxic.

Learning that being flawed and being villainous are not the same damn thing.

Being told, over and over, "You don't have to earn love by being perfect."

[ruinparadox]

Begging folks to familiarize themselves with the concept of a Troll Farm and recognize that, in many cases, you may be interacting with someone being paid to sow distrust and anger online. Or an AI meant to do the same thing.

You are generally going to have a better chance reaching real people IRL than online.

If you find yourself fuming over comments or posts that are simply just too stupid or removed from reality - it's quite possible you're talking to a bad actor. And even if you're not, your efforts are best used elsewhere.

[ruinparadox]

Hand & Gesture Language

Hands clenched into fists — Anger, restraint, or holding back something violent or vulnerable. Fingers tapping rhythmically — Impatience, nerves, or a personal ritual. Picking at a scab/cut/nail — Anxious, distracted, or self-soothing. Hands behind back — Formal, guarded, or trying to appear in control. Palms up / open hands — Surrender, honesty, or pleading. Hands gripping something tightly — Trying to stay grounded or keep it together. Rubbing temples — Overwhelmed, stressed, or trying to think clearly. Knuckles white from pressure — Rage, fear, or intense focus. Cracking knuckles — Habitual tension, or a signal that something’s about to go down. Thumbs hooked into pockets/belt loops — Relaxed, cocky, or casual authority. Touching their mouth while thinking — Deep in thought, holding something back. Hands fluttering mid-gesture — Nervous energy, overexplaining, or searching for words. Hands in fists in pockets — Rage or fear hidden under fake chill. Wrists limp at their sides — Defeated, exhausted, or too numb to react. Shaking out their fingers — Releasing adrenaline, fear, or something they don’t want to carry anymore.

[ruinparadox]

grandpa cruor

[ruinparadox]

Upright Position by @redicnomad

[ruinparadox]

[Doodle cm] Wolf bakas fightin, doodle for Midnightaus, thank you!!

[ruinparadox]

Commission for @lutece-mess of her design of Glamrock Foxy! Really loved the creative design of him in this one :]

[ruinparadox]

Fanfic is a free hobby.

It's one of the last few things we can have as a society that's free. You can engage, for free. People give you things (art, stories, etc), for free.

Don't buy into the consummerism just because it's everywhere else.

You don't have to consume everything you interact with. You don't have to use things, just because they exist.

You're allowed (still, for now), to have things that are enjoyable for free.

Do you realise how insane the world is? We don't have many places where we can just be, for free anymore, but ao3 is. Did you notice we don't have ads in ao3? We don't have pop ups? Where ELSE do we not have that?

Where else can you just go and not have to wait for a commercial to be over or for ads to be on the sidelines?

I don't think the younger people understand, but the whole of internet used to be like this. YouTubers would do Youtube for free, just because. You couldn't monetise your internet presence before.

Ao3 is like a little preserved corner of the internet where the old internet used to be, and it's being attacked by people who do not understand that free things are allowed to exist without judgment.

Please don't ruin this for us.

Some of us need it.

[ruinparadox]

i want devices that are functional and hardy and i want them to last and fuck the rest of the shit i dont need. my ds and 3ds can lie in sleep mode for months if not years and i can pop them open and they've still got two or three bars left. my old phones in high school could go days without a charge. if i leave my nintendo switch on the floor for a few days doing absolutely fuck all nothing i will turn it on and it will cry to me mother i am dying. i am dying mother. and i tell him he'll never be half the man his brother was and he can't hear me because he's dead

[ruinparadox]

[ruinparadox]

old werewuffle redraw! 🐺✨

[ruinparadox]

his small and sensitive nub 🐙

[ruinparadox]

Meet F'Jasada! A snakefolk druid with the powers and temperament of a wildfire, who is a big fan of the scorched earth policy!

[ruinparadox]

I’m obsessed with Marvel Rivals

[ruinparadox]

Lackadaisy .Fragments. by ItanHimitsu

“Ended by a single gun shot”“…..my heart. Also never though about the different sizes of their hands but now it is EVERYTHING!!!

[ruinparadox]

Behemoth time~