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running-writing · 2 years ago

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HnnNNNGGGG this is so sweet it causes physical pain. Proceed with caution.

avoidance | azriel

summary; things are getting real between you and azriel, and a slight panic ensues.

word count; 2421

notes; idk man I just got out my laptop to write down a little drabble idea and out of nowhere this happened? 0 plot, 0 context, just somethin' cute, I guess?

“You’re avoiding me.”

You jumped, almost dropping the yoghurt pot in your hands, teeth clanging on the spoon as you pulled it back. Twisting to face the man now casually leaning against the counter, your eyes narrowed, wondering when he’d snuck up on you, and just how long he’d been there.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“What- I am not!” You spoke through your mouthful, wincing a little and deigning to swallow it, even though the previously sweet treat now felt like a spoonful of sand in your throat. “Why would I be avoiding you?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

“And now I’m asking you.” You deflected, nose scrunching a little as you turned your back on the man you most definitely were avoiding a little bit, Putting down your yoghurt, you attempted to seem busy as you stared out of the window at the gardens beyond, the sunlight flittering through the leaves and lighting up patches with a golden glow.

“We haven’t spoken for two days.”

“I’ve been.. busy.” The lie did not roll off of your tongue as easily as they did his, and you knew that he’d picked it up. Catching sight of him in the reflection of the window, you watched him shuffle, arms crossing over his chest, shadows coiling tighter around his body as his smirk fell away. Then his gaze met yours in the glass, and you gasped, refocusing on the garden beyond.

“You haven’t been to training all week, either.”

“I’ve been to training, I just had to fit it in at different times!” Not technically a lie, you had been going to training, just at the most unusual possible hours you could think of, to be sure you wouldn't bump into him. His silence stretched on, uncomfortable and stifling, and you knew every trick in his book to get people to talk, this was the easiest one, and yet you caved, after barely thirty seconds. “I’ve been, y’know, chaperoning Lucien and Elain!”

With one arm, you motioned to the couple outside, now wandering past the window, a pink flush on her cheeks to match the colour of her dress as they ambled along arm in arm, Lucien talking animatedly, a smirk on his face at her expression. They took no notice of you both. “I wasn’t aware they still needed a chaperone, what, with being officially mated, and all.”

Your lips pressed together, brows furrowing. “Well, you never know.”

Silence, again. Then, an arm was snaking around your waist, your gasp lost to a shaky breath as a kiss was planted to the space between your shoulder and your neck, another over your pulse. Soft and tentative and fragile, Azriel peppered barely-there kisses along your skin as his other arm looped around you too, pulling you back against him.

“Az..”

“Why are you avoiding me?” He pressed again, this time, rather than cockiness at having caught you off-guard, a twinge of vulnerable pain lay in his voice. He moved up, the tip of his nose dragging over your jaw, a soft kiss pressed there too as he nudged your head to fall back onto his shoulder, as he squeezed his arms around you a little tighter, wings drooping over the sides of your body.

“Because- because, we can’t.” The words tumbled from you, a confession you’d never actually wanted him to hear, and he froze, before turning you gently. Despite letting you go, he kept you just as trapped here, in the moment, hands locking onto the counter on either side of your body to keep you in place as he lowered himself enough that you didn’t have to tip your head up just to look at him. No excuses to avoid his gaze, then. “We can’t do this.”

“Oh, we most definitely can. And we did, in fact, we did a lot more than this, multiple times, on this counter, just last month.” When a grin broke free, despite your rolling eyes, a smile finally made itself known on his face. “We’ve established that we can do this, and that we like to do this.” Your mouth opened, and he shook his head. “Uh-uh, I know you liked it, I had scratches down my back that proved it.”

“Ego, much?”

“So, now that we know we can do this, why shouldn’t we?” He was serious again, dark brows pulling together, a wounded frown on his face, and you hated that look on him. Wanted to hold him, to use your fingers or lips to smooth away every mark until he looked happy and peaceful once again. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

“I can’t talk to you! That’s the whole point! You were my best friend, and you were the person I spoke to about everything, but I can’t do that anymore, and it scares me. What if we fuck up, and ruin our friendship? What if something goes wrong? What if you change your mind or this spark fizzles out, and.. and.. yeah..” You puffed out a sharp breath to follow it, unable to hold his stare now no matter how hard he tried.

Only a second passed by, before he was huffing out a breathy laugh. One that soon transformed into a full-body chuckle, the deep sound vibrating over your skin, and a flush bloomed on your cheeks. “You’re freaking out.”

“I am not freaking out!”

“Oh, you are freaking out!” You reached out, shoving at his chest to get him to back up, storming away being the number one thing on your mind now, and that only made him laugh harder. So hard, his arms went weak, and he toppled a half-step closer to you, bringing him in so close his breaths were puffed over your hairline, and you had to look up to scowl at him now.

“You’re being a jerk.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just,” He took a shaky breath, daring to look down at you, calming himself into being able to at least offer a small smile to you. “I thought I’d be the one to freak out. I’ve been waiting weeks for it, since that very first night. I waited for you to wake up and tell me it was a mistake and for me to panic, and I waited after that first dinner to panic, and after the walk around the Sidra, and the picnic, and-”

“Don’t recap every date we’ve been on. It’s been months. We’ll be here for hours.” You grumbled, and if there had been enough space to do so without elbowing him in the ribs, your arms would be crossed over your chest. The thought of doing it purely for that reason flickered across your mind.

“Listen, the point is, you’re freaking out. About us. I thought I was gonna’ freak out.” He was teasing, one thumb lifting from the counter by your hip to swipe gently at you, a test, to see if you were ready yet for his touch again. You were missing it.

“Stop saying ‘freak out’.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re gonna freak me out!” The snap only made him laugh again, tipping forward to hide his face on your shoulder as he cracked up. You were mad at him, and scared, but above all else, your chest was all but bursting with affection at the way his body shook against you as he hid his amusement against your skin. When he was strong enough to pull back, he shifted, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he rose that had warmth racing to your face once again.

“Look, you’re freaking out because we were friends first, but we didn’t stop being best friends when we started doing more.” His smile was genuine now, soft and caring and you gave a little sigh, a lump forming in your throat at the overwhelming emotions. He took one of your hands in his, rough thumb swiping over your knuckles. “I’m always going to be your best friend, and I want you to talk to me, about everything, still. The only difference is that now, sometimes I get to kiss you, hold your hand, take you out on dates and call you ‘my girl’ when I introduce you to people instead of ‘my best friend’.”

“Oh, that’s the only difference, huh?”

“Well, it’s the only difference for now.” His murmur was soft as he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek, your other cheek, the tip of your nose. “One day, hopefully soon but I can wait, the only difference will be that instead of hanging at your place or my place, we’ll hang at our place. Maybe, one day, the only difference will be that instead of telling people you’re ‘my girl’, I’ll get to tell them you’re my ‘wife’. We can just be two best friends, who stand up in front of all our other best friends, and promise to be best friends for all of our immortal lives.”

“You’re really not freaking out about this?” You questioned, all of it sounding so wonderful and perfect and terrifying at the same time, and you expected Azriel to have been flying for the hills by now.

“Not even a little bit.”

“You know, I’m high-maintenance.” You pushed, and he only huffed in response.

“No, you’re not. You like to stay in bed and read for dates, or go on walks, and you almost cried that time I brought you a postcard back from my assignment.” You poked at his ribs, and he shrugged. “But, fine, you can become as high-maintenance as you want. I’ll be more than happy to maintain you.”

“Well, I’m an annoying drunk.”

“I know, I’ve been friends with you for an eternity, I am well-equipped to handle your drunk antics.” He smiled, leaning in, breath sharing with you as you watched him near, golden gaze tearing you apart with its intensity. “Anything else?”

“I will yell at you for leaving socks on the floor, and you will have to be the strict parent because you know I will cave, and I get bitchy on my cycle sometimes, and-”

“Shut up, I’m not going anywhere.” His whisper was only for you, so low that had he not been so close you’d have missed it, before his mouth was sealing over yours. Soft and warm, his lips move slowly, coaxing you to kiss him back, until you couldn’t take it any longer.

When you lifted your arms, wrapping them around his neck, he sighed happily against your mouth, letting his body fall entirely against your own, pressing you into the counter. He licked along your lower lip, tongue teasing, waiting for permission. You gave it, mouth opening for him as you scratched lightly through the hairs at the nape of his neck. He was barely holding himself up against you, his tongue smoothing against your own, dragging slowly, tasting what you’d denied him for days now.

He shifted, hands tugging at your thighs to lift you onto the counter so he could step between them, step closer to you. With one hand smoothing down his neck, you could feel his pulse thrumming under your touch, his head tipping a little to kiss you deeper. Unhurried, loving and tender and sweet. He tasted like the lemon water Cassian had been making everyone drink after training lately, he smelt like sweat and faint spices, and he felt like home.

He pulled back, a gasping breath before diving right back in, groaning as your lips met again and your giggle was swallowed entirely by his mouth over yours, hands squeezing at your thighs, sliding up to your hips, Then, he was tugging you closer, wrapping your legs around his waist before looping his arms around your lower back, much like a hug, holding you to him. His lips left yours, dotting kisses along your jaw as he caught his breath, your head tipping back for him, until he settled with his face in your neck once again, and you could feel his smile.

Bringing a hand up from where they’d settled on his shoulders, you wove your fingers through his hair gently, a rumble of pleasure at the act shuddering along his body. “See? We’re still best friends, just with really good benefits.”

“They were pretty good.”

“I, for one, happen to love the benefits.” He settled happily, adjusting you until you were pressed as close as you could get, your heart thudding a steady rhythm against his shoulder, beating all for him.

“Yeah, well, I happen to love you.” Your words were a whisper, but you knew he heard them, and after a second, he stiffened in your touch, holding his breath on full lungs. Your fingers paused their movements in his hair. “What?”

“We’ve never said that before.” He pulled back slowly, eyes wide, a shocked look on his face, and for all of one second, panic flared up within you once again. Until he was smirking at you. “I think I might have to freak out for a second.”

“You’re such an asshole!” Your legs unhitched from around his waist, but he made no move to step back, a work of art between your thighs as his head tipped back in laughter. Sunlight from the window behind lit up his golden skin, adding an extra sparkle to his eyes as he looked at you, lips spread wide in a heart-stopping grin. “I take it back. I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t even want to be your friend. Get off.”

“Nope! You love me, and we’re gonna’ be best friends for the rest of our lives, and we’re gonna’ make lots of cute little babies and live in a cute little house, and-” You cut off his teasing by pulling his lips back to your own, a handful of his shirt over his chest and one hand on his shoulder, and his words were muffled, your smile hidden, as your lips found each other again.

He might have been a cocky, teasing asshole, but he was all yours, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Shadows swirled happily around the both of you, cold tendrils brushing against your skin and through your hair as they hid you both from the outside world, a bubble made for only the two of you, where only you got to see him like this. So carefree, so happy.

Into the kiss, as his hands slipped up to hold your cheeks, fingers tangling in your hair, he mumbled, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

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