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To Live Again, A Hunger Games Fanfic, Ch. 11

To Live Again

Ch. 11: The Pearl

In the days that follow, Peeta and I take some time apart to recuperate after the last few days. One night, he finally comes over and tells me that he wants to prepare dinner for us. Of course I accept because this is nothing out of the ordinary. Only when I go over to his house that night, I'm surprised by the amount and content of what he has cooked. Ham, potatoes, vegetables, and even fresh milk. I can also tell he has been baking because the aroma of chocolate still lingers.

"What is all of this?" I ask as I sit down and let my mouth water at the thought of getting to eat everything in site.

"A dinner to celebrate a new beginning, remember the past, and spend time with the ones we care about," He says with a smile as he lays a napkin across my lap. I'm almost taken aback by the napkin thing because it's something I've only seen done by avoxs' for people of the Capitol. It was never a voluntary thing for anyone else.

"Why now?" I find myself asking as Peeta sits down across from me. I also wonder how much of the past he wants to remember, because I don't think I want to remember any of it.

"It just seems like it was the right time after the memorial and the book idea," He answers with a simple smile. "We need to stop sulking and feeling sorry for ourselves after Paylor's visit. We deserve to have one good night with just the two of us." And despite my attempts to stay doubtful, the dinner was one of the best in a long time, and not just because of the food. I was laughing and actually engaging in conversation as we took turns doing our Effie impressions and throwing out ideas for what kind of job she had now. And when we looked at the clock and realized that Paylor was going to be addressing Panem from the Capitol tonight, one year after the official fall to the rebels, I was the one who said we should turn it on.

"One year ago today, Panem turned a page in our nation's history when the rebels overthrew the Capitol and sought a new beginning. As you and I have both had the chance to see, times have been tough. Homes and businesses have been destroyed, and most of us have been dealing with the losses of loved ones on top of that. But if it's one thing that amazes me, it is the hope that I have seen inside every one of you that I've had the chance to meet. That spark that says we will move on from this, and that we will never forget.

"But there is one thing that I believe needs to be taken care of: There are 75 years' worth of Hunger Games arenas, and there will be no adding to that number. The Hunger Games are officially finished. And starting tomorrow, each of those arenas will be demolished, and in its place will go a memorial for all of the children who lost their lives during that year." Paylor goes on to talk about how ceremonies will be held when each of the memorials go up years down the road, and she then moved on to talking about other economic changes that will be taking place. When we turn off the tv at the very end, Peeta looks to me and asks if everything is alright. And for the first time, I nod my head. After the whole flower thing and the memorial, I felt almost a sense of peace. It was something I hadn't yet felt while being back here, and I didn't quite know how to explain it.

"hey, you know what? I forgot, I made dessert," Peeta says as he practically pulls me back into the kitchen. As I take a seat, he goes to the counter and begins uncovering a plate. "Real or not real: I gave you a pearl in the Quarter Quell?" Peeta then randomly asks.

"Real," I answered as I tried to take a couple of deep breaths, remembering that day on the beach. I was so taken back by the question that I almost forgot to breathe.

"Good," he simply answered as he placed one cupcake where he was sitting and another in front of me. I nearly lost it when I saw that the frosting was green with white piping to look like a pearl necklace. Then, placed in the middle of the frosting, was my pearl. I knew that was it, because I had memorized every detail on that thing, and it even contained some black scars from the explosions

"How?" I asked after sitting there speechless for what felt like hours. I had lost it the same day that I had lost Prim…

"How did I remember or how did I get it?"

"Both," I squeaked out.

"I had a memory of us on the beach where you gave me a pearl that was rigged to kill me whenever I touched it," Peeta started. "But it had that shiny quality to it, so I knew something wasn't right. Then that day in the Capitol Square, right before the second set of explosions went off, I stepped on something. I looked down and picked it up, not knowing what it was at first, and then I looked up to see you running before everything…" He paused for a few moments, gripping the back of the chair as he looked away. I wondered if he could still feel the heat from the fire like I could…

"When I started painting again while I was at the Capitol, pearls were one of the things I kept drawing over and over again," Peeta continued, determined to tell me the story. "And I couldn't figure out why. It took a lot research, but Dr. Aurelius found some different footage of us making pearl jokes throughout the games, and other tidbits here and there, and I eventually figured it out. Dr. Aurelius says it was one of my major breakthroughs."

After hearing that story, I wasn't sure if I should curl up into a ball and cry or if I should kiss Peeta right here and now. Prim's words that she said to me after we learned about Peeta's high-jacking suddenly came to mind: There's a chance that the old Peeta, the one who loves you, is still inside. Trying to get back to you. Don't give up on him. At this moment, I honestly felt like Prim was still looking out for me, even when I thought she was gone.

"Maybe I should have said something about this sooner, but I knew if you had kept that pearl through everything, then it must mean a lot to you, to us," Peeta adds on as he looks away.

I get up out of my chair and without taking another moment to doubt myself, I wrap my arms around Peeta, and I press my lips against his. He's surprised at first, but as he begins to process everything, he lets his arms wrap around my waist and kisses me back. That warmth inside me that I had felt in the cave and on that beach during the Quell returns, and I realize how blind I have been this entire time. Peeta Mellark—the boy with the bread who happened to by tortured by the Capitol and burned a mutt like me—loved me. He always has and always would.

When we break apart, we're gasping for air and I'm struggling to keep the tears back while trying to find something to say. Luckily Peeta is the one to speak first.

"So…you like the pearl?" He asks with a smile. I can't help but let out a laugh and nod my head as I sit on his lap. He pushes the hair out of my face and pulls me in for another kiss, and I can't help but follow his lead. His lips are soft and warm, and he has a way that is so gentle and tender that I can feel what he is thinking. When we break away this time, Peeta's face is much more serious as he looks into my eyes.

"What is it?" I ask, afraid that I've unknowingly done something to upset him, or afraid that he's about to have a flashback.

"I love you, Katniss." The words linger in the air and nearly take my breath away as much as the sight of the pearl. There they are: I love you. I can still remember the first time he said them to me when we were on the roof of our training center the night before the Quell. I had replied with, 'I know.' Now, I certainly couldn't say that. I can tell it has taken him a lot to say that to me (again), probably because he was scared of how I would react, and he had every right to be. But I couldn't reciprocate the 'I love you' to him either. What was I supposed to say without sending him into a rage or crushing him forever?

"Peeta…I…" I looked into his eyes, hoping something would come to mind.

Instead, he kisses me again and says, "You don't have to say anything. I know you're not there, yet. But after everything we've been through, you deserved to know." For the first time, I was beginning realize that I really did feel something more for Peeta. I guess my actions always spoke louder than my words; those moments in the games where I would instinctively call out his name, where I broke down in sobs when he hit the force field, and how I carried around that pearl everywhere I went after I was broken out of the arena. What normal person would just give their life for someone, have a mental breakdown about them when they were being tortured, and become emotionally distraught after learning they may never be the same? But did I love him? That was such a big word and it scared me just thinking about being able to say that. The only person I was sure I ever loved was Prim. I guess the answer really was not yet if I had to question it. But the fact that Peeta knew to use those words, showed he could see it growing in me even though I didn't know it myself.

"What happens now?" I ask so softly I'm not even sure if he heard what I said. Everything was out there. I kissed Peeta and he re-confessed his love for me. But now I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Or what I wanted to happen. First the pearl, and the story, and now this…it was all almost too much.

With the same expression and sultry tone of voice he used to tell me he loved me, Peeta says, "Nothing has to change." I didn't know how things could stay the same, but I knew I just had to believe him. Peeta and I stay curled up together as we eat the cupcakes and take turns getting the frosting off of each other's faces. We fall asleep curled up in his bed, and for the first time, I have a dream with Rue and Prim that isn't a nightmare.

I picture Rue and Prim in a world that hasn't known war, suffering, or starvation. I don't know where they are, but they are playing some game together, and giggling and whispering secrets to each other like old friends. They both look so innocent and happy, they way girls their age should be. I just watch as they enjoy each other's company, and I can't help but think they would have made great friends for each other. At one point, they look to me, smile to each other, and turn around to walk away.

As I wake up, I sit up not in a panic or a sweat, but more of an, "I-can't-believe-that-just-happened" type of thing.

Peeta rolls over and realizes that I'm awake, and he groggily asks, "Everything alright? Another nightmare?"

I smile and say, "Acutlally, no. Just realized something is all. Go back to sleep." I smile as Peeta rolls over and falls back asleep, but I can't help but wonder if the dream could have been Rue and Prim sending me some sort of message after tonight's events; telling me that they were and would always be watching over me.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed that latest update! Thank you for reading and let me know what you think :)

#Katniss Everdeen #Peeta Mellark #The Hunger Games #The Hunger Gamse fanfic

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