rvkswitzerland

[rvkswitzerland]

Year 2 - Initiate

At the time of this writing, I'm sitting in my office on the first day of classes outside of isolation. We've successfully welcome all of our students back to campus, isolated for a week, completed two COVID tests, and had our first full-campus events for the year.

I can't begin to explain how different our family is feeling so far this year. It's a much older family - the kids are 18, 17, 17, 16, 15, 14, and 14 - and this, along with changes in the student constellation - has made a world of difference in how our house and family feels. Though we loved things about our family last year, working with that group was overall a very stressful experience, with more exceptions to rules and expectations that I could possibly count, unstable students who expected the world to revolve around them at all time, and having to mediate often negative interactions between students constantly. This year, our group gets along, and when they disagree, they can calmly discuss the disagreement and compromise with each other. Every student is at least moderately independent and understands that, sometimes, the needs of the group will come before their own personal needs. And, most importantly, they want to connect and see each other as human beings with feelings and needs, instead of someone who is just put in their way to annoy them and make their life harder.

This past weekend, for example, Ryan left to take a large group of new students and helping students to the titidorf, a campground near school, which left me on duty for the house with only four returning students in it. We ate dinner on Saturday night - free seating, so I ate with my teacher friends - and then the kids came back to the house for a bit. Three of the four left for Stuckli, this "dance club" the kids host on some Saturday nights, and one (who is too young to go) stayed behind and relaxed in her room. After Stuckli, one of the kids came in the apartment to tell me he was back and to ask if we could all go stargazing, as the sky was "too beautiful to miss tonight". I said we could, and he rushed off to shower before coming back with the rest of the students a few minutes later. Then, we all went up onto our balcony in the apartment, they climbed on the roof wrapped in blankets, and we just chatted and looked at the stars with the Milky Way in full view. The next morning, we ate brunch - free seating again - and then decided to have family bonding by watching The Green Mile, which was one of the kids' favorite movies. We ate popcorn and ended the movie all crying on the couch, sharing hugs before they went to relax for the rest of their afternoon.

Our family isn't without issue: We have two students who weren't particularly wanted in other families, students with histories of eating disorders, self-harm, anger issues, panic attacks, and 5/7 who go to some kind of therapy or counseling on a regular basis for specific issues and needs. But, when I imagined coming to the Ecole and doing family work, this is what I imagined. A life where I didn't have to feel constantly on guard, constantly ready to fight with a kid about who even knows, constantly ready to put out fires without any student leaders who were able to step in when we needed it. I wanted to be around students who wanted to be around me and who didn't feel in competition with each other for attention, and who were able to work together and collaborate, as well as students who had a genuine interest in each other, their cultures, their experiences, and the things that have brought them here. So far this year, it seems that we have that.

I had a moment last night after our family meeting that I hadn't felt in a long time: At Williams, I struggled with long breaks because I was bored, because I missed the kids, missed Alcala, missed the regularity of my normal life. Last year, I took every opportunity I could to get away from the family because I found it to be so incredibly stressful. This included eating meals and brunch with the family downstairs many weekends and going shopping off campus frequently just to get away. I didn't know what to do with this desire, because I'm so used to really loving my work, and spent much of the year feeling bad about wanting so much distance from a type of relationship that I used to really value. Last night, we made plans for one of our girls to be in charge of brunch this weekend, and after our meeting, I realized that Ryan and I will be off duty this weekend and wouldn't HAVE to go to brunch. For the first time since we came to the Ecole, I felt conflicted because I WANTED to be with the kids instead of doing everything I could to create more space between us. It feels good to be back.

I also had a really interesting first linguistic experience this weekend: While watching the movie, I realized I was the only American there, and Ryan and I are the only American's in the family. One of the characters in The Green Mile is Cajun, speaks French in the movie, and I was asked where he was from and why he sounded like he did. Later in the film, another student asked about John Coffey's accent - "is it old English or bad English". In both cases, I was the one with the cultural context to help them understand the characters and the stigmas behind their accents.

Otherwise, things are moving along! We have a new German Shepherd - we called him Jordy after Jordy Nelson, the former Green Bay Packer who rarely missed a catch - and have made the decision in the last few days to keep him. He's about 14 months old and has much more energy than Al did, and he came from a previous home where he didn't have many rules, so he's severely lacking in manners. But, the kids love him and he loves them, so we'll keep working with him to get his manners in check.

[rvkswitzerland]

Where To Begin

From Ryan:

So I haven't updated anything since isolation in Winter term. That's ridiculous. Basically I had a solid four months of updates and I've ghosted everyone for the last six months. You're welcome, or I'm sorry. Vicki is better at this than I am. This is true of many things.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about the last year. We've finished a full cycle at school and we're in the midst of renewing residence permits and all these types of things. It's been wild. It's been hard. Even not having Al makes this all feel so different. But it's also been a transcendent experience for me.

Maybe it's the mountain air or the fact that I can basically do as I please so long as I'm building up our wonderful community. The month-long breaks are also a major perk. I've learned to ski quite well. I have hiked ridiculous places. I see the most beautiful scenery every single day since we've arrived. I eat strawberries growing along the steps and paths everywhere I go. I write every day now but I've only read a handful of books. I've done so much more and so much less all at the same time.

I can't imagine going back to a middle class, suburban life now. It depresses me to think about that prospect. I miss many privileges of that life but I've found some kind of meaning here - though I'm still making sense of it all. Maybe it's as hollow as everything before but here at least I have the time to think and create. There's a gear in my transmission I didn't know existed. Maybe several. I don't know how to explain it all, which is why I've given up on the blog a bit.

For example, I recently went to visit my parents in Wisconsin and it took an excruciating amount of effort to explain a recent fear-of-near-death hiking experience at the top of a mountain during SAC hike leader training. Really it was an entire hike, several moments of it, not just a moment. And it built on top of the hike the story of the day before. It took me at least an hour to explain and it all got me thinking about the theory of relativity.

How do you describe the Swiss Alps to someone who has never hiked on them? There is no relative experience to draw upon if you've never seen these mountains. The Rockies are nothing by comparison.

I had to explain to my parents some things in excruciating detail just to hope to get my point across. I brought maps and explained hiking concepts like "performance kilometers" despite the fact that neither probably had any visual sense of a kilometer. I still don't and that's how I measure things now. So how does reciting the distance, degrees of slopes, and inclement weather when crossing a snow field ever translate to the basic idea I want to convey? It doesn't. I wanted them to understand the cold, burning fear in the pit of my stomach that if I put my foot just inches to the right on a snow field that I would slide down a mountain. If I couldn't catch myself on the snow field as I slid down then the jagged scree below would have carved me bloody like fingertips on a cheese grater.

Then there was a moment hours later that I embraced the idea of being dead for the first time in my life. I mean really, really understood the idea of being dead. At a certain point of adulthood you understand we all die. It's a different thing to feel it the way that an equation in high school algebra just clicks. It is common sense. Inevitably universal.

As we hiked a high alpine ridge a heavy fog moved in. It was cold, sub-50F. The wind was howling over the ridge we were on. At arm's length the clouds cut over the ridge like the spray of a wake behind a boat at full throttle. It rained all day and we were soaked to the bone and hours behind schedule. I was crawling my way across a mountain peak when we finally agreed that maybe we weren't on our trail anymore - given the fact we were scrambling across a jagged ridge and not walking on a clear trail. We ducked a meter below the leeward side of the ridge to check the map and compass. We were twenty minutes south of where we should have been. A second ridge joined the one we were previously on and the last snowfield put us further south than we expected.

I looked down the cliff below while our hike leader sorted out the way back and realized that if I slipped to my inevitable death it would be fine. After the painful few seconds of making contact with the ground a few hundred meters below it would be as it was before I was born. Nothing. Blank. Absent. Nonexistent.

When we got to safety that thought was invigorating. I missed Vicki more deeply than ever before. That night I wrote a letter for her to read if I die, whatever the circumstances. The world felt bigger and smaller all at once. Everything and nothing mattered. I was angry at the mistakes and pride that led us to that moment. I told the hike leaders as much in no uncertain terms. I was also proud to have made it and I was eager to do it again, maybe even push further. How do I ever explain these contrarian things adequately?

When I was in Wisconsin I heard stories about how my friends and family struggle in ways I can't relate to. I don't have a high-pressure job, bills, expectations, kids, etc. There were plenty of things that felt like snow fields, cliffs, and fogged scrambling over mountain peaks to them. Sometimes they were already being shaved to bits by their own scree. How can I ever understand the struggles of fatherhood? That is its own indescribable mountain that I have never stood in the shadow of.

We all navigate our lives relative to our experiences. You don't need to climb a mountain to get perspective, though I find the mountains quite enjoyable and welcome anyone to Switzerland that wants to visit. I promise a less harrowing experience than what I have alluded to. We all need to pause on our cliffs, check the map, and figure out if we're where we want to be. When we're not on the right path and we take the time to notice the consequences it can change us. Duck beneath the whipping wind of life and get your bearings the next time things feel like they've gone wrong. You can navigate more than you think you can - that I've learned these last six months.

Love from a rainy, cool but otherwise dreamy Switzerland.

- Ryan

[rvkswitzerland]

End of The Year and Lurking: An Update

So, it turns out that the lurking was a major turning point in my school year and in my ability to feel connected to this place. Because I started lurking, as I mentioned in my previous post, I was able to connect with some of the really wonderful students here in a way that I hadn't been able to previously. Because of THAT, I'm feeling much more optimistic about next school year.

The lurking helped me to realize that I made it through this year in survival mode: Doing everything I possibly could to make it to the next meal, next sleep, next weekend off, instead of focusing on relationship building. I struggled to connect deeply and meaningfully with the kids in my family because I was so busy managing them, I forgot to take time to see them. An example from the end of the year: The kids were supposed to be packing up and cleaning their rooms on the day of prom, and I went around to check on the progress they were making. I went into one of our girls' rooms to find them there, along with one of our boys (who was done cleaning) and two students from other families, all hanging out. Without anger, I quickly reminded the girls that they were supposed to be cleaning and told the other kids to come back later. The tone was snarky and bemused, not angry or frustrated, but I didn't even ask how everyone was doing. No hello, no "how's your day", just "get out and do what you're supposed to do". This is the basis of my goal for myself in family work next year: to start every conversation with a "how's your day" instead of jumping right into management mode.

With that goal in mind, so many things have happened since my last post, namely that all the students have left for the year! On the Sunday of graduation, Ryan left for hike training, leaving me to get the kids out of the house reasonably together on my own. I'll let him talk about the hike training. We had Summerfest the day before that, which was amazing and featured Ryan in a teacher-made rock band. We found out about our Ecole family for next year, and I'm SO excited about it. Two students from our family last year are returning to us, both of whom we ADORE, along with one of the seniors from the US system I chatted with on the Platz, another US system junior that I'm super exited to get to know, ANOTHER US system senior who wasn't able to get back to campus this year due to COVID but is from the Bahamas and is adored by literally everyone, along with two new students. In the family below us, we'll have one US system senior who is a great chef and lovely person, and one of the two other Texans on campus! I can't wait, and am particularly excited to tap back into the part of myself that's been lost here - the one that spends so much time talking to kids about stuff that matters to them - the bullshit, the drama, the chisme - instead of feeling like they needed to be managed.

We also had all of our goodbye meetings and events: The farewell schulegemeinde, where students and staff who were leaving stood and spoke to the whole school community about their time here; the student goodbye and yearbook signing; and the staff goodbyes. The student goodbye was surprisingly emotional - not for me, really, because of the lack of connections - but for the kids and their friends. It was super sweet to watch them interact and say goodbye, and to see such free feelings from people so young. I spent a lot of time that night thinking about all the goodbyes I've experienced with students over the years, all the insane amounts of tears I've shed with kids who are terrified to jump into the next phase of their lives and leave behind the safety and security of home. I also thought about how every year, I wondered how the next year's class could possibly compare to the kids who were leaving, and felt so sure that my heart couldn't possibly care as much about the next group as I did about the previous one. Happily, it hasn't run out of room just yet.

Finally, the staff goodbyes were the hardest, as everyone who is leaving speaks to the room of our peers, and anyone is allowed to share a memory or a story of that person. It was long - 3 hours - and many, many tears were shed as we all considered what life would be like with a new group of colleagues. Goodbyes are always hard, but I think because we live and work together, and because this place isn't grounded by a place where people live - because everyone who leaves will move from here - they felt a little harder. Luckily, we had our staff Apero after, where I drank a LOT of sake and ended up sharing food and drinks with colleagues and drunkenly jumping on a trampoline with a friend for a bit before she walked down the mountain to her home at midnight.

We found out about the technology policy for next year, which basically gives students all of their technology all the time and almost certainly will be overturned. Basically, one of the core values of the school is limited access to technology - for us too! - and the IT guy who is leaving this year decided to uproot everything by announcing this change to the teachers and students at the same time. But, nearly every teacher on campus is up in arms about it, so I imagine it will be overturned at the start of next year.

Ryan and I also went to Zurich for a night to do a bit of shopping and had an adventurous dinner at the BlindKul - the Blind Cow - where we ate in pitch darkness! The restaurant supports charities for blind folks and employs servers who are fully- or partially-blind. Since we eat in the dark, they don't need to be able to see! It was a really humbling and lovely experience with very delicious food and wine.

Now, Ryan is home in Wisconsin for a few days visiting his parents. Originally, the plan was that I'd stay here with Al while he gets vaccinated, and now we don't have Al and are both vaccinated, so the original plan was unnecessary. But, adding a Texas portion to an 8 day trip made it short and complicated, and since my parents are coming to visit us here in early August, we decided to wait another year (when the school will pay for us to fly back home if we've signed on for a third year). Hopefully, this will coincide with graduation parties for my WP 2018 babies and I'll be able to spend some time with them and our friends in Dallas at the same time.

On to summer!

[rvkswitzerland]

Lurking: A New Goal

A few days ago, I was chatting with a junior after class, and we got to talking about what it's like to be an introvert at the Ecole. We discussed how hard it can be sometimes, but how it's easy to find people to engage deeply with if you make yourself known. During that conversation, I realized that I almost never talk to students here.

At Williams, I spent what felt like the vast majority of my time talking to kids - bullshitting, being a chismosa, discussing their goals and dreams, etc - and, because my office was in the literal middle of the building, I didn't have to work at it. The kids just came by when they were walking past, came to eat lunch, came when they were falling asleep in class to wake themselves up. It was just convenient to stop in, which made it easy for me to find myself deep in meaningful conversation regularly.

Here, my office is in one of the houses, on the second floor with a bunch of offices that aren't typically populated by major students, so kids don't just wander by. In my conversation with this junior, she suggested that I might spend more time milling around the Platz - or lurking, as I called it - to see what things I observed, to see more students, to be more visible, and to ultimately engage more deeply with students. I considered how much time I spend at home, often on my computer doing nothing, when I could be out socializing or reading in the sunshine, and decided to take her advice.

Yesterday, I talked with our co-family head, Alessandro, about his life traveling around as a professional musician, teaching master classes and performing concerts, and he told me about a time in India when he found himself at a table with folks from eight different religions. I chatted with a graduating student from the Swiss system, who was mulling over what to say in his graduation speech and telling me about the Euro Cup watch parties he was planning. I spoke with one US system senior about her college and summer plans, and how she's feeling about leaving the Ecole, and one US system junior about her 1.5 year long relationship that ended earlier this week and her doubts and feelings about that.

Today, on Day 2 of Lurking, I talked again to the Euro Cup planner, who was all excited about his event taking place tonight, and also to the advice-giver, who was pleased to see me sitting outside and happy that her advice was helpful. I also watched Ryan play basketball with a few students before dinner, and after dinner, I talked again to the US system senior, this time about last years' seniors and the legacies we leave behind in places when we depart. Then I chatted with my friend Jackie, who was baking banana bread, and a Swiss system student who is leaving in a few weeks to go back to Germany and live with her parents for the first time since she was 14. The Swiss student also wore broccoli socks yesterday, which I adored.

Lurking has taught me two things: The first is that there are weirdly wonderful, magical students here and I feel frustrated that I spent so much of the year caught up in my own shit, unable to find or engage with them. The ease with which these kids open their hearts reminds me of my favorite students at Williams, many of whom I'm still in touch with and who I hope to continue friendships with as they grow. I also learned that I need a Platz activity to see less "lurky". In an attempt to channel a lovely student here who I admire for being unapologetically himself, always, I'm going to get a Platz book that I'l carry around and read when I find myself just sitting around out there.

Stand by for an update about Platz Book Selection #1.

[rvkswitzerland]

Saying Goodbye to Al

Man, this year has been a doozy.

On May 15, we said goodbye to our best guy after nine/eight wonderful years with him by our side. Essentially, the muscles in his back legs had been slowly atrophying over the last few years; this is common in German Shepherds, and we knew this would likely be the reason we'd have to put him down. Unfortunately, on the morning of May 13, he woke up suddenly almost unable to rise from standing and to straighten his back feet underneath him.

After 1.5 days of this, Ryan took him to the vet, where she determined that he almost certainly had a tumor or lesion on his spine near his head. She said we could do an MRI and operation to remove it, but that the damage to his spine and nervous system wouldn't heal. In some ways, this made the decision easier, as we knew he wouldn't want a life where he couldn't walk or run freely, or play with his toys or begrudgingly chase balls. He died peacefully surrounded by both Ryan and I, along with his favorite Rudy.

After, I knew we'd done the right thing for him and felt confident in our decision, but I didn't anticipate what our lives would feel like. I didn't anticipate that I'd listen for him pattering around the house, only to remember that he couldn't be making that sound, or the sadness I'd feel when I went to wipe the dog hair off my feet only to realize that there isn't any. Though he wasn't active, I missed his presence around the house, waving to him in his bed first thing in the morning and ending my days petting him before climbing into bed. I missed hearing him whining to his Rudy and felt a crushing sadness every time I remember that I'll never hear him do that again.

The community here - our friends and coworkers and students - were very supportive and wonderful in the days following his death, which made it easier in some ways. I struggled because I simultaneously wanted only to be home and to be anywhere but home, because home didn't feel quite the same anymore. The most surprising thing has been that I don't want to listen to music anymore. Before, I had the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat (much to Ryan's dislike) and I reveled in it. The optimism, the joy, the possibility. Since May 15, I think I've listening to the soundtrack twice - I'd listen twice in the same day before - and I only make it a few songs in before turning it off; it just doesn't feel the same. When baking, I used to put on music and dance around, enjoying interacting with the sounds in that way, but I now prefer news instead. This has been both surprising and sad, as music has often been the soundtrack of my days and nights, to my thoughts and ideas, and many songs are linked in my memory to events and people, to nights full of joy and singing. This time period will be remembered only with silence.

In other news, most of campus is gone right now on the six day hike to various parts of Switzerland and northern Italy. I am here with about 6 other teachers and about 20 students who also can't/won't hike for one reason or another. I'm here because of a combination of my incredibly slow hiking abilities coupled with my bad balance left over from my ear herpes in January/February. I walked up to school from the valley in March and a friend had to literally hold my hand through parts of the walk when things were too narrow and steep. My balance is fine most of the time, but gets unstable when the ground is uneven, which is frequent during hiking. My best friend on campus, Sarah, is also here due to plantar fasciitis, which is sad for her but nice for me, as we've taken on cooking responsibilities for the group. We organized meals and cooking teams, and the kids come in for one meal a day to prep or cook and clean. They've loved it and done a great job, and we've eaten very well! Tonight, Daniel (another staff member) is making pizzas in the pizza oven, so Sarah and I just get to show up and eat. :) Tomorrow, we'll make baked feta with tomatoes and chickpeas, and Daniel is hosting a BBQ night around the fire for our last night of the so-called "farm hike". Ryan is on an actual hike and his pictures look incredible!

During the farm-hike, I've watched two of the Ecole campus dogs. One is Clemie, who is a giant mutt - easily bigger than Al was - and super sweet but aggressive toward other dogs. She's also much more hairy than Al was; if you remember our house or apartment, you know what a feat this is. Yesterday, I hung out with Clemie and watched a show with her after her walk. I watched, and she chewed on her antler, and it was great. At my house, I'm also watching Kayo, who is ALSO very sweet but seriously lacking in manners. He's about 8 months old - which contributes to the lack of manners - and is learning, but still puts her mouth on people and jumps and climbs on the counters and barks when she's left alone. Two days ago he wouldn't leave me alone long enough to shower; I was so annoyed. In the last day, though, he's settling in a little bit and playing more by himself, which is a massive feat. He also didn't bark this morning when I left him to cook lunch, which hasn't been the case in a few days. Yesterday, to spare the rest of my house from hearing his insane barking all morning, I took him back to his apartment and tied him up like her person does so he wouldn't have to spend those few hours in his crate. He chewed through his leash and set himself free in the house - so insane. While I cleaned up the apartment where he'd spilled water and chewed up papers, a student took him for a run and tired him out. Before the hike, I was considering advocating for us to get a puppy, but after this, I'm reminded how much work they are and feel better about waiting a while.

After the hike, we'll have a cleanup day, then the "Sunday after the hike" on Friday, which is a rest day for everyone, and one day of classes on Saturday before Ryan and I are off for the weekend. When everyone returns on Wednesday, we'll have 28 days until the students leave for the summer! Since we'll both be fully vaccinated and without a dog for the first time in 9 years, I hope to do lots of traveling if we're able to get around Europe!

[rvkswitzerland]

Here We Go Again!

It's been a minute!

Since my last post, we finished winter term, were off for almost a month, and now have welcomed the kids back for summer term.

Winter term was, for lack of better words, a steaming dumpster fire. Between my illness for six weeks, our new family head only being on campus Monday-Thursday, injuries in our family, skiing and ski days, etc. there was too much going on for us to possibly manage. But, around the end of February/beginning of March, things started to calm down and the family settled into a routine. We ended the term SO ready for break!

Our month off felt pretty magical. Unfortunately, because of COVID and travel restrictions, most people couldn't do much traveling. Fortunately, that meant that there were lots of people on campus to hang out with! We had probably 10 meals with colleagues: bean burritos with homemade salsa, homemade ravioli, many homemade pizzas, fajitas and chicken and dumplings. We traveled to Montreux with some friends and explored the city, Lausanne, and Vevey, celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary! We also did lots of house projects, cooking and baking, and watched a lot of Netflix and video games.

Now, we're back in isolation - this is isolation #4 for the year - because the kids returned to campus on Tuesday. So far, it's gone very well! We have been watching Ted Lasso together in the evenings, and spent time yesterday celebrating Ryan's birthday with cake, cinnamon rolls, and a card. One of the kids made him a beautiful drawing of the mountains - too sweet. We're heading to the Grossen Saal in a few minutes to hang out somewhere other than the house - I think some of the kids and Ryan will have a Mario Cart tournament - and just got back from a short walk in the rain to check out a rock dedicated to Paul and Edith Geheeb, who started the Ecole, enjoyed walking, and died 39 years ago today. Tomorrow, we'll have pancakes for brunch, then will spend the afternoon baking cookies for a cookie bakeoff (to be judged by the chef on campus!) and relaxing.

We're also looking forward to Switzerland (hopefully!) being open for travelers this summer! Who's coming to visit?! :)

[rvkswitzerland]

Injury and Illness, Continued Again

I’ll offer more thoughtful reflection at a later point, but last term, I told myself often that things would be better in future terms. “We can only go up from here!” “This will be the worst that it is!” So naive. So innocent.

Luckily, my ear herpes is ALMOST back to normal! My face is normal and my balance is close enough to normal that I can basically live life normally. Still no skiing yet, but hopefully in a week or two, the dizziness will be totally gone and I’ll finally be able to test out my skis.

To accompany my waning illness, however, apparently some members of my Ecole family decided that we needed to keep things interesting.  On our first skiday of the year, two weeks ago, one of our boys was apparently going too fast and fell, causing him to break his upper arm, be helicoptered off the mountain, and have surgery to put a plate in his arm. On skiday two, last week, one of our girls fell off the ski lift and broke her elbow. When they went to reset it, a little piece of bone broke off and they had to put some pins in her arm to reattach the piece.  On our third skiday, yesterday, another one of our girls was peer-pressured (by her ski instructor) to take on a run that was above her level, and she messed up her knee.  This was yesterday, and she’s going to the doctor today.

In addition to that, we have one student basically living off campus with her mom in a hotel who asked to be moved to another family because ours is too chaotic (I sympathize), and another who is eating with another family this week because “no one in our family is worth caring about”. 

If you’re counting, this leaves one girl and one boy who isn’t broken in some form; a second boy will join us this weekend from China.

SOS.

[rvkswitzerland]

Illness Update

From Vicki - 

Just a quick update: I”m still very much recovering from this absurdity, but I’ll teach my first class for the term in about 45 minutes! It’s only Chess Club and it’s downstairs in the house where I live, but considering that I could barely walk a week ago, it feels like a pretty major achievement! I’m still dizzy though not actively and my eye is a little slow to blink, but things are returning to normal, bit by bit.  I keep telling people that it feels like I’m drunk: I’m very uncoordinated, get dizzy quickly if I move too fast, and am a little slow to process things, but am generally okay.  Things also do seem to be getting a little better every day, though not in tangible ways; I can’t say “I can do ___ today and couldn’t yesterday”, which is frustrating, but at least there is progress!

At the end of this, I’ll post all the selfies I’ve taken throughout this whole thing so everyone can see the changes.  Looking back, they are striking.  Hopefully with a few more days’ progress, I’ll be totally back to normal!

[rvkswitzerland]

Illness, Continued

From Vicki --

Unfortunately, it seems that this ear thing isn’t going to go away quickly on it’s own. From what I’ve read, recovery can take anywhere from a few weeks to months to not at all, which is frustrating. At the start of this, I was hoping that I’d just wake up one morning and be back to normal - no dizziness, right half of my face moving, eye blinking, ear free from crusts - but as with anything, it seems that it will take time. Like a scab healing, injuries doesn’t go from bleeding everywhere to new skin overnight, and I think I need to give myself the same time and patience that I’d give a cut on my leg.

That being said, it SUCKS not being able to help around the house, to leave, to meet with students, teach classes, see colleagues, or even eat in the Esssaal. Because I’m so dizzy and it’s so snowy outside, it’s definitely not possible at this time to do things outside of the house, which has left me in bed (by my choice) for a week as of yesterday.  All of this time has given me lots of time to think, reflect, and be grateful for the way this all played out. Here’s my current gratitude list:

 - Ryan - this man has seriously done EVERYTHING to keep our house, students, and family afloat during this insane time. In addition to managing the kids, he also picks up food for us, runs the library, runs the house, and is also teaching several courses and creating an Andacht for this Sunday, which will be shown to the school community on the topic of library use/misinformation/”fake news”. He’s been adamant that I shouldn’t feel sorry for not being able to help and has put no pressure on me, despite what I am certain is IMMENSE pressure on him.

- The Ecole Community, for making it so easy to be absent and being so willing to step in and help.

- Our new bed, which we bought at the start of Christmas break

- Food coming every day from the dining hall instead of having to cook

- Al being a loving (but stinky) sickness companion

- That I already had a doctor in Switzerland before this happened. Just the week before the ear pain started, I finally got insurance sorted and went to the doctor for a prescription refill. Because of that, it wasn’t as scary to go when my ear started hurting.

- The school nurse - Though she technically only works for the students, our school nurse is such a massive champion. When I woke up and my face was paralyzed, I asked Ryan to call her out of sheer desperation.  She came immediately, then called a doctor down in the valley (incidentally who works at the office where I’d just gone). The doctor lives up on the Hasliberg, and came to our apartment to examine me and give her advice about what I should do. It was Sunday, so my choices were to wait until Monday or go to the ER. Because of that, treatment was started earlier and hopefully recovery time will be shorter as my nerves heal.

- The doctors I’ve seen - Apparently, this Ramsay Hunt thing that I have is pretty rare and often misdiagnosed, and I’m so thankful to the doctors I saw who quickly identified it and got me on antiviral and steroid medications.

- Our car, which carried me to and from appointments. I can’t imagine worrying about that in the school van or on public transit!

- Our friends and family, for checking in and offering lots of Netflix suggestions

- That this happened after break - selfishly - because it would have been horrible to spend Christmas and NYE like this. At least Ryan and I were able to spend some time together relaxing between terms

- That this term in short - 9 weeks from tomorrow, students will be leaving for the break before summer term. Last term was 15 weeks and felt like an eternity - the fact that this one is shorter helps the days of sitting around waiting for my face to move a little more manageable. 

- That I can finally drink from a water bottle! My right bottom lip is strong enough now to form a seal around the top of the bottle. Before that, I had to hold my lips closed around the lid!

- Finally, for the tiny twinge of movement I see in the right-hand corner of my mouth. It’s microscopic, but I can feel the muscle in the corner of my mouth trying to pull up my lip, and if I look closely (and maybe squint a little), I can see the little corner trying. I’m hoping that, once the rash in my ear goes away, the dizziness will stop and I can be at least a little more productive.

Happy Tuesday, friends! Send healing thoughts!

[rvkswitzerland]

As promised, the video:

[rvkswitzerland]

Ear Herpes

From Vicki --

I guess I’m paying now for a relatively healthy 2020.

On Monday of last week, my ear started hurting a little bit. I had been wearing ear plugs to sleep and figured I put one in weirdly - no big deal.  By Wednesday I had mild vertigo, and the doctor on Friday told me that I probably had a viral ear infection and that we could only treat symptoms. I went home with my weird Swiss medicines - basically Tylenol, nose spray, and some anti-nausea medications that did nothing - and figured that was that.

On Saturday morning, I woke up and felt like the right side of my face wasn’t moving as it should, and on Saturday night, Google told me this was a symptom of a middle ear infection. My ear had continued to hurt and my vertigo had gotten worse. By Sunday morning, though, it was clear that something was wrong as half of my face now wasn’t moving at all. Couldn’t blink, couldn’t smile, couldn’t raise my eyebrow. We called the school nurse who called a doctor that works at my doctor’s office but happens to live near the school, who graciously came to my apartment on a Sunday morning to check me out - so nice!  She told me it wasn’t a brain thing - not to worry about that - but that I should go to the ER.

At the ER, which was very tidy and full of friendly doctors and nurses - along with this baby who was walking around telling everyone “tschuss” (which means goodbye auf Deutsch) - they echoed that it was a viral ear infection, sort of.  They said it looked like I had Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, a rare shingles-type resurgence of the chicken pox virus (which, I learned, is a form of the herpes virus) that appears in and around the ear at random. By this point, I’d been dizzy for a few days, half of my face had been paralyzed for 18-24 hours, and my ear hurt badly.  They gave me antivirals and eye drops for my eye that wouldn’t close and sent me home. (I’ll post a video of me in the hospital trying to do the same movements on both sides of my face. It’s crazy!)  I was surprised by the kindness of the doctor and nurse who treated me in the ER. I’ve never been to an ER before, and I think this speaks to stereotypes of Swiss people (which isn’t fair), but I expected everyone to be all business, focusing only on their job with me and not about me as a person, but that couldn’t have been farther from my experience. My nurse was jovial, so warm and kind and did an amazing job taking my blood (which I hate) and made fun of me the appropriate amount when I freaked out about that plastic thing being pulled out at the end. The doctor was patient and explained everything to me as simply as she could.

Yesterday, we went to the ENT in Interlaken and had the diagnosis confirmed and I received STILL more medication: steroids, eye ointment, and stronger anti-nausea medication. I started taking the full arsenal this morning and am hopeful to be back to normal in a few days.

This experience has taught me two things: 1) How lucky we are to have our health when we have it/how easy it is to take that for granted, and 2) what an insane champion Ryan is. During this time, he completed most of our isolation period by himself with the 6 kids we have in the house right now, in addition to taking care of my wobbly ass that can hardly walk back and forth to the bathroom without falling down. He completed quarantine with them and has started the term, going to all three meals every day with them, going over ski rules, and getting them signed up for afternoon classes. He’s driven me to the doctor in Meiringen once and Interlaken twice, along with the requisite pharmacy trips each time; twice in the insane snow and once that began with walking me down the intensely icy stairs. He’s done ALL of this, and has been insistent that I shouldn’t feel guilty for not being able to help, reminding me that this isn’t my fault, and continuing to tell me that the best way I can help him is by focusing on getting better. I don’t know how I got so lucky to marry such an incredible man, but I could not be more thankful. He’s the best and I owe him a vacation or many beers or, hopefully very soon, both.

In my incapacitated state, I’ve watched a significant amount of Netflix including all of “Modern Family” and “Hamilton” in honor of the Inauguration, which was beautiful. I’ve also done a lot of googling about chicken pox and viruses and a lot of staring into space while Ryan has kept us afloat. The kids were great during quarantine but now are acting wild in the worst way, and we’re finishing up a Fohn, a weird warm wind event common in the Alps that brings gale-force winds basically out of nowhere. Hopefully that will be over tonight and we can all start getting back to normal.

2020 is bleeding a little bit into 2021, but I’m feeling optimistic that things will be more normal soon.

Also, Packers to the Super Bowl, anyone? 

[rvkswitzerland]

Beginning of Term Isolation: Day 4

From Ryan:

So far the kids have been pretty good! They’re keeping the kitchen cleaner, respecting our space better, and turning their technology in on time. Basically all the things that frustrated me last term aren’t happening. At times they can be a bit loud, but it’s them having fun and getting along so it’s a bit of a love/hate with that. So far all the kids are healthy in our family. Fingers crossed we all get done with isolation on time and healthy next Tuesday evening.

We both signed up for our vaccines today! TBD on when we can get them... but given that Switzerland is locking down further because of the new strain, it feels pretty good having some kind of hope on the horizon.

We are getting a ton of snow today/tomorrow. It was supposed to be 70-110cm but that hasn’t materialized yet. We probably have 50cm on the ground total, which includes some snow for the day before yesterday. It switched over to rain for a bit and then back to snow so it became slushy. It’s a wet, heavy mess out there and I am not looking forward to shoveling slush off of the steps again. But hey, that’s the price you pay for living in an alpine paradise I suppose!

[rvkswitzerland]

They Return!

From Ryan:

Today ends a long, peaceful, and pretty lazy month off. Teacher breaks are amazing. I can’t imagine going back to the kind of job where you get less days off for an entire year than we’ve had for our break. I’ve also never had a job that was this demanding or where you pour so much of yourself into. I imagine it’s a sliver of what it’s like to have your own kids. But the ability to truly shut off from work for a month is rejuvenating. Looking back, it seems less stressful than it felt - but it was nonetheless hard at times. Not only where we trying to figure out the job, the kids, and a new country, we were also trying to figure each other out. Vicki and I have very different ideas and priorities when it comes to working with our peers and caring for the students. That was an unexpected challenge last term but we’re starting to figure it out. It’s a strange dynamic at first when your partner becomes your coworker.

One of the things that Vicki did during breaks at her old school was feel guilty about how she spent her time. She felt guilty sitting around watching TV and just relaxing, even though I told her she’d earned it for all the early mornings, late nights, and sheer emotion she put into her kids and job. I thought that guilt was just ridiculous. I get it now. Vicki used to make lists of things she did to make her feel like she didn’t waste her time off. So, in the spirt of that, here’s my list:

- Went mountain sledding and didn’t die

- Played a lot of guitar and learned some new songs

- Reimagined my approach to my writing project and actually put in some quality work

- Read 3 books

- Went snowshoeing and hiking

- Spent time with co-workers

- Caught up on some video games I couldn’t play during the term

- Kept the house fairly tidy

- Got a new bed, organized the apartment

- Drove to Bern and Luzern

- Got on my snowboard

- Promptly rented skis and signed up for lessons

- Made delicious foods including Oma’s Christmas cookies

- Reorganized the entire fiction section of the library

- Took lots of pictures

- Found some good wines and staple beers (Swiss beer is generally not great)

- Finally got health insurance and subscribed to REGA... so we can get airlifted off the mountain in a medical emergency for free

- Caught up with some friends, though nearly not enough

I will be looking forward to our break in April again, but right now I am excited to see the kids today. We are very anxious about the Coronavirus situation on campus, but it’s just going to be what it’s going to be. Hopefully like last term it is fine and we’ll begin classes after our 10 day quarantine with no incidents and no one sick! Now for some pictures!

[rvkswitzerland]

....and they’re back!

From Vicki - 

Kids return to campus today from all across the world, and things feel quite different this time around with COVID the way it is. As before, we’ll enter into a 10 day isolation wherein we don’t leave our house (other than for supervised outside time in spaces that we’ll reserve beforehand) or interact with anyone outside of our house for the next 10 days. Luckily/Unluckily, we share a house with another family, so will likely start hanging out with them more after around 5-7 days in isolation.

Things feel scarier to me for this isolation, simply because COVID is everywhere. When we did our first isolation in August, cases were mild compared to now, and in November, while we had an active case on campus, my students hadn’t been in contact with that individual for a number of days, so we felt safer. This time, anything could happen. Ryan and I have asked the kids not to come into our apartment to hang out - a stark difference from normal - and will only eat at our table with our apartment windows opened. We’ll also take them outside at least once a day, but otherwise will be keeping distant and wearing masks around them, at least for the first few days as germs are shared.

I thought it would be funny to list here the rules we are instituting for our family this term, In part to give everyone a glimpse of what we spend our time talking about, and also to look back on at the end of the school year.

House rules

Table Manners

No talking with your mouth full

No cursing/yelling

Ask to be excused from the table when getting up for any reason

If you eat the last of something, hold it up

Wait to eat until everyone has been served

When passing food for the first time, pass food counterclockwise (to the right)

Once a week, place your placemat where you’d like to sit for that week

Must check out with a family head & use the sign out sheet

Zimmerputz must be completed to FH approval or sleepovers will not be allowed

Everything must be put away

Surfaces wiped - desk, shelves

Bed made

Trash bagged up and given to family trash runner

Floor vacuumed and mopped

Stille stunde begins at 8:15pm and will be quiet

Everyone will remove their shoes downstairs; no shoes at all on third floor

All wet clothes will be hung on hook on first floor

Clothes should not be left on hooks in hallway for longer than 24 hours

Rules about guests and masks must be followed or sleepovers will not be allowed

Sleepovers will not be allowed if family heads are made aware of poor performance in classes

All food in family fridge must be labeled

During brunch and family night, we cook and eat as a family

Family jobs will rotate each week

Fridge/Kettle/tidying food area in hallway

Trash and recycling - take out trash and recycling from all rooms once a week during zimmerputz

Esssaal - M/F bag, brunch box

On-call - person on-call for each job in case main person is sick, has class, etc

During isolation, the schedule freezes

Wohnung Kitchen

No plates, cups, or silverware will leave the apartment

All cooked food will be eaten in the apartment

Students must ask every time they want to use the kitchen. No exceptions. 

The fridge and freezer in the apartment is for family head use only. All student food will be stored in the hallway fridge. 

Requests to cook must have one person in charge of making sure that everything is cleaned up.

Students will bring their own ingredients for cooking sessions. Family heads can get supplies in M/F bags when planned in advance. 

No cooking when we’re not in the apartment. 

If kitchen rules are not followed, students will not be allowed to use the kitchen for the rest of the term. 

I HOPE it makes me laugh at the end of term that we listed “no talking with your mouth full” FIRST on the list (because it’s been such a long time since we had to remind the kids of that, not because I’m stifling a sob at the fact that it’s still a norm.)

Second term - let’s do it!

[rvkswitzerland]

December 22 - Quiet

Things have settled down significantly on campus and now I think we’ve gotten re-used to the quiet. Both fortunately and unfortunately, things are quieter on campus than I anticipated - I think I was hoping for a “Friends” scenario wherein people wandered to and fro from each other’s apartments - so we’re getting projects done, cleaning, cooking, etc.

One of the kids “overpurchased” (her words) and bought bags of frozen mixed berries in early November. Since we told them whatever was left behind when they left for winter would be eaten, Ryan made this delicious mixed berry jam! Side view - it made a LOT.

Our little car parked outside our house! The weekend after we bought the car, we got FEET of snow and couldn’t get it up the hill to our house. We’ve been reveling in the sunshine, and in being able to drive our groceries and things straight to our door (instead of down the often-icy Ost stairs).

Top view of the delicious jam!

We washed Al today (again, after my less-than-successful bath last time) and Ryan rigged up this contraption - vacuum hose taped to the shower head!

One small project - changing out the giant shoe shelf that blocked our jackets from hanging properly!

Clean shepherd!

Went to a zopf baking class last week put on by the chef here. These were the loaves I baked with the dough we made together at the class!

A few weeks ago, one of our coworkers’ short-term contract ended, so she held a fermentation party to say goodbye! At the party, she showed us her kefir water she’d been brewing - kind of like kombucha, but easier and water-based instead of tea-based - and shared her kefir grains with us! As a result, I’ve been making kefir water! This is berry, flavored with a tea bag. So good! Ryan still refuses to try it on account of what he refers to as “instant poop”.

Another project! I was annoyed with this dead space in our kitchen, so Ryan had the brilliant Idea to get a rolling cart to hold more items, and to hang up our basket!

Another hanging basket in dead space!

Another project - jars! Our kitchen is tiny and this cleared up a TON of coveted cabinet space and looks pretty good, too!

Final thoughts: http://expatoftheworld.com/the-five-phases-of-moving-abroad-how-to-overcome-them/

[rvkswitzerland]

December 12 - THEY GONE

The kids left on Wednesday for winter break, and the time since their departure has been so wonderful.  Of course, we enjoy our time with them, but this break couldn’t have been more welcome.  We’ve cleaned, spent time with friends on campus, bought and assembled a new bed, facetimed with friends, and so much more.  Ryan leaves tomorrow to go “camping” in a hut for a few nights, and my to-do list includes tons of baking, cleaning, and relaxing.  Cannot wait. 

A few pictures from recent days:

Ryan and Sonia manning our booth at the Weinachtsmarkt (Christmas Market) a few weeks ago.

Our baby Christmas tree, covered in Swiss chocolate ornaments.

A few of our kids at our Thanksgiving feast!

Schnee!

We bought a car! We’ve driven it approx. 2 times as snow has overtaken us. But it’s sweet and small and a gas champion. Can’t wait to bomb around in our VW Polo in the spring!

We’d been sleeping on a 140cmx200cm bed since August and decided to gift each other a new bed for Christmas. This baby is 180cmx200 - almost a big as a king - and we couldn’t be more thrilled with it.  We’re also doing the European “separate duvet” thing and after one night, it’s a winner.

Ryan took this stunning picture of campus the other night. So beautiful.

Prepping for fondue the other night. Clearly I was swamped.

Kids practicing an option for the Christmas market. They considered offering a “Mean Girls Hot Chocolate” complete with the Mean Girls dance.

Shoha carving the turkey on Thanksgiving!

After the Christmas Market, we went on a torch walk to “bring more light into the world”. It was beautiful and a super sweet idea! After the walk, we all dropped our torches in this fire and ended the evening singing “Evening Rise”. Beautiful evening.

Some super sweet snowflakes Ryan cut out and hung in our wohnung!

I celebrated Tunde’s birthday with her and this gang in early December. Such a fun and delicious night!

[rvkswitzerland]

24 November 2020

From Ryan:

The term is starting to wind down, which of course means things are just getting busier. 2 weeks from tomorrow the kids will be piling on busses, trains, and planes to head home. It’s a bit hard to believe our first term is so near the end, but we are both more than ready to have a break.

It’s strange to think this Thursday is one of my favorite holidays. We’re celebrating here at the school on Sunday with the traditional Thanksgiving meal. I’m going to try to get the family to go around and talk about what they’re thankful for like our family normally would at dinner. But I have low expectations they will be thoughtful. Our kids were total assholes about the planning. The American kids basically wanted to do nothing, the others actively railed against the holiday as stupid - and not even for justifiable reasons like the false history we teach kids in America about Thanksgiving and the “discovery” of the continent and its ensuing Native American genocide. They were just being rude and selfish. I really, really hope we can use the holiday to genuinely reflect on what we should be thankful for, there is so much here at this school.

We have a lot of exciting events coming up before the end of term to start celebrating Christmas. Samichlaus, which is the Swiss equivalent to Santa, will be making an appearance to drop off goodie bags for the kids. Unlike St. Nick or Santa who visits while you’re sleeping, Samichlaus traditionally comes to your house, is invited in, and sits all the kids down to tell a story, discuss their behavior for the year, have the kids recite a poem to him, and then they’ll get a bag of gifts - nuts and fruits and things. He has this sidekick called Scmutzli who comes with him. They also walk around everywhere with a donkey, no sleigh or reindeer. Unfortunately, it is discouraged to go into students’ rooms pretending to be Samichlaus in order to get them to reflect on their behavior - I asked.

We also have an on-campus Christmas market next week. Each family will set up a booth to sell food, drinks, or do a Christmas activity. Right now we are leaning toward a hot chocolate bar, chili, or mac and cheese. We are, clearly, a very health-oriented family. The last weekend we’re here we have a traditional fondue evening and some advent gifts sprinkled here and there and those kinds of things. It’s going to be a hectic, fast slide into the break.

It started to get cold and stay cold the last week. We’ve had 2 snowfalls so far, neither have been very much or stuck around even a day. The one last week was in the morning when I’m working on my book, so I took a break for a walk through the woods. Here are some photos for you: