(follows from simonslittlepuff) ash. melbourne. a buzzfeed shitpost.
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some work of my favourite Ghoul Boys. i’m sad that their days with Buzzfeed are over but i’m absolutely stoked for their new show!!
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Okay folks.
Everyone who said anything in response to This Post is the love of my life, you guys are so sweet and I lost my shit every time some said something in the notes. People seemed interested in hearing more (!!!) so uh...
FNAF x Ghoul Boys AU except I put them in the story this time. Security Breach spoilers.
This is gonna be super lengthy and kind of all over the place because I just.. wanted to get it out of the way?? I'm gonna write actual scenes after this and not just bombard you with bullet points but I wanted to have something to base things off of so uh...
I think the actual story part of this AU can go two different ways. You can have the story be fully about Shane and Ryan, subbing Gregory out for them instead, OR you can have Gregory be there too and have it be a joint effort between Shane, Ryan, Gregory, and Freddy. Ultimately, I think the first option is the better one because I think that having Gregory’s story and the guy’s story combined would diminish both of them in the long run (not that the Security Breach story is very good in the first place lol). However, I think Shane and Ryan trying to protect a kid is adorable and hilarious and I will write about that at some point. I know that removing Gregory kinda fucks with Freddy’s purpose but it’s not like he’s totally useless.
With that out of the way- Here is how I think Shane and Ryan would handle the actual story of Security Breach, culminating in them getting the Afton ending. Full warning, I have the vaguest memory of the actual game because of the sheer amount of headcanons I came up with so sorry for the inevitable inaccuracies. Also I’m totally gonna tweak stuff because the Security Breach plot is fucked lmao
Also, I do not understand the Vanessa/Vanny thing so I’m sticking with the theory that they’re the same person and Vanessa is just brainwashed by Afton or whatever who cares.
And we're splitting the night up into hours, here we go!
11pm-
The night that the game takes place they're supposed to be headed out but realize that something is very wrong and decide to stay
Well Ryan wants to investigate and Shane really wants to go home and not deal with it himself but he doesn't want Ryan to disappear too so he sticks around
Vanessa notices they're still in the building and tries to get them to leave before doors close for the night (so she can do whatever evil shit she does)
She acts super strange throughout the whole interaction but they say that they'll leave, they just forgot to grab something
When she leaves they have a moment of "We're definitely staying, right?" "After that? Obviously."
12am-
The doors lock and she sees that they're still there and that they're up to something so she sends the animatronics after them
Although they don't realize that until they try to talk to Chica and she immediately goes into murder mode and they have to run for their lives
They decide to try and get into Vanessa’s office to snoop around but she’s a higher ranking guard than them (on account of her being good at her job)- this is what sends them on the wild goose chase trying to get higher level security cards
They go to the daycare where Ryan apologizes profusely to Sun for not being able to play and Shane bites his tongue so as not to piss of the animatronic, considering that they’ve been trying to kill them
They do the whole daycare thing, freaking out and whisper yelling at each other the entire time
They get the card and then narrowly escape the Daycare with seemingly everyone chasing them
It ends up being a very close call and they both come very close to death and Shane gets really fed up
Like Ryan is obviously terrified but when he's focused on something he commits to it so he's insistent on getting to the bottom of everything
But Shane is fucking done. Like legitimately. He figures that it's not their business and he really doesn't wanna die over it.
Ryan tries to convince him saying shit about how they can't keep letting little kids die
Shane feels guilty but he can't do this and neither can Ryan. He tries to convince him to stay somewhere safe until morning but it pisses Ryan off
They get into a full blown argument (for plot purposes) and then separate but neither of them really feel good about it
1am-
This would probably be where Freddy shows up
Ryan's sneaking through Rockstar Row and Freddy catches him but he's confused as to 1. Why Ryan Is still at the pizza plex and 2. Why he's suddenly so scared of him
Poor guy has been chilling in his room, listening when Vanessa tells him to stay
Ryan explains everything and Freddy comes with him to try and help
Also: “Where’s Officer Shane? Is he okay?” “He’s a bitch.” “RYAN!”
Ryan goes through the whole loading dock with Chica by himself and kills it despite being scared- that’s not relevant but I need you to know that he’s kicking ass
2am-
Meanwhile, Shane gets jumpscared by map bot (oh great, of course that one’s functioning) and gets caught by Vanessa who takes him to lost and found and the entire way there he’s just really bitchy
“Fine by me! You think I wanna be out here with all these shitty animatronics? I am more than happy to spend the night in Lost and Found, thank you very much” and Vanessa is like “Great! Where’s Ryan though?” and he’s all pissed about the fight still so he’s just “Oh I don’t know. And you know what? I don’t care! That son of a bitch can get himself killed and see if I care! I won’t.” and Vanessa is just “Uh huh.” as Shane goes on about how much he supposedly doesn’t care
She leaves him stewing in lost and found then Vanny shows up and he realizes that he might die and now he’s angry at himself for abandoning Ryan and how he won’t be able to apologize but then Ryan shows up to help get him out
Shane jumps to apologizing and what not because that interaction was horrifying and Ryan tries to be all “good, you should feel sorry” but Shane sees right through him and just kinda gives him a look and he’s like “Yeah okay, I’m sorry too. I’m glad you’re not dead.”
So they make up and Shane figures that he's not gonna make it trying to hide and if he has to fight a bunch of animatronics he'd rather do it with Ryan than alone so Ryan fills him in on all the shit they need to do
They go find Freddy and get a backstage pass and end up doing that security room fight where they work together to keep the animatronics out and guide Freddy (we’re gonna say he has to break the grate off for them to get through)
Okay, misc shenanigans while they try to get Freddy to Parts and Service, Moon shows up and takes Freddy away and again- they almost die
3am-
THE ENDOSKELETON PART!!!!
They’re trying to get to parts and services and have to deal with this shit
“Wait! They’re like weeping angels..” “What the fuck is a weeping angel!!!!”
Just freaking out, whispering “fuck, shit, I hate this, go, go, go!” the entire time until they to Freddy
Ryan’s actually kinda teary eyed, Shane has never looked more pale in his life
Shane works on fixing Freddy and is actually pretty good at it (one time when he was working the night shift Roxy and Monty got into a fight and no mechanics were on the clock so he had to fix them)
Because they’re playing detective and are not actively trying to escape instead of trying to hunt down more passes and shit they are going to be trying to actively get the Afton ending (because I find that the most entertaining)
While Shane’s working on Freddy, Ryan digs through some of his research (“Have you been carrying that around this entire time?” “It seemed relevant!”) and comes to the conclusion that the Pizza Plex was built on top of an old Fazbear restaurant
“I call bullshit, wouldn’t we know about that?” “Why would you want people to know your establishment is built on an actual burial ground!?” “Who builds their establishment on the remains of the previous one!?”
Shane is a character in FNAF that thinks the lore is stupid lol
Ryan decides that’s their goal but that they need to upgrade Freddy for it
4am-
Fazer Blast- Nothing to note here. They get the blasters, they meet their objectives, they get a little carried away trying to blind each other but eventually move on
They take the steps to decommission Chica except they feel so horrible about it. Ryan keeps saying “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” over and over again
They get lost for a while and get chased by Chica which makes things feel worse
They upgrade Freddy
5am-
They go to Roxy Raceway etc, etc, not really important
THE DJ MUSIC MAN SEQUENCE
A lot of frantic running and screaming
“I TOLD YOU HE'S THE WORST” “HE’S USUALLY NICER THAN THIS”
I don’t remember when you go back to the arcade and see him vibing but I imagine he just goes right back to patting Ryan on the head
Ryan’s like “See! He’s chill!” “Fuck you.”
Anyway, they take Roxy’s eyes and they feel so goddamn guilty because of her crying and what not
They evade her but it’s rough and honestly pretty horrifying and they feel awful for doing this to her
Then they upgrade Freddy
6am-
They take out Monty with a lot of terrified yelling and way too close calls
When Monty catches the ball bucket they just- “Oh shit!” “No, no, no, no, no-”
They upgrade Freddy
TIME FOR THE TRUE ENDING
Freddy starts acting weird, they’re extremely put off by the blob (Ryan starts pointing out animatronic bits in it as characters he recognizes from his research, Shane starts to feel like he should have paid more attention to that)
They find the Pizza Place and Ryan’s just like “I FUCKING TOLD YOU” “NOW IS NOT THE TIME”
They see William on the monitor and to be honest, I don’t think they’d come to the conclusion that it’s William, it’d be more of a “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” moment
Freddy instructs them on what to do and they get to work trying to beat his ass, burning him and trying to keep the others at bay
They win and they run away
Ending-
Is it implied that the Pizza Plex collapses at the end of this ending? I can not tell and I’m mostly really confused. If it does, then I’m gonna say that Shane and Ryan barely escape with their lives and that Freddy most likely doesn’t survive and neither does the other animatronics. Vanessa/Vanny would likely escape, probably freed from Afton’s control if he’s actually killed, although I doubt he is.
If the Pizza Plex doesn’t collapse but the basement caves in then I think it’s likely that everyone except Chica, Roxy, and Monty would survive. Shane and Ryan would leave, Vanessa would likely run away, and I don’t think any of them would set foot in the pizza plex again.
Either way, Shane and Ryan are no longer employed at the pizza plex but they haven’t quite put the whole story to bed. What are they missing? Who was in the basement? What about those missing kids? What about Vanny and Vanessa? What the fuck just happened? So they decide to go around trying to unearth the history of the Fazbear Entertainment company and become the next people to try and put Afton down.
Although, he always comes back.
OKAY I promise to write something more interesting next time but if you read through all of this I love you- MORE COMING SOON
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since a few people were down with the FNAF x Ghoul Boys cross over here's some of my thoughts about what they'd be up to into this universe :)
Also, ignore the actual cannon of the FNAF universe cause I don't know everything about it so some of this is definitely off the mark lol
Shane and Ryan are security guards at the Mega Pizza Plex
They meet because they were hired at the same time and have been best friends since (like Buzzfeed)
They hang around each other all the time, even when they aren't assigned the same shifts
Their coworkers hate them for how often they're in their own little world talking about God knows what and not doing their jobs
God forbid you end up on the same shift as them they will third wheel the shit out of you
Shane likes to antagonize the animatronics cause he knows it's not in their programing to ever hurt him for it
Ryan loses his mind when he does this cause they're 8 feet tall hunks of steel that hold grudges and "They have emotions, Shane!"
Shane told Roxy "Good job" once and she decided he was her favorite immediately. Shane's a little weirded out by it but he thinks Roxy's funny so it's cool
Ryan snuck Chica a fresh pizza once and she lost her mind. She still hasn't stopped thanking him.
Monty absolutely joins in on making fun of Ryan's height
Freddy thinks both of them are bad influences on the kids and the animatronics (on account of all the swearing and slacking off) but Ryan tries to make it up to him by being real nice
Shane booped Freddy's nose once and it sent the band into chaos because they didn't know his nose squeaked. They were late getting on stage that night
Sun adores Ryan because sometimes he'll sit and draw with him
Ryan thinks it's sweet but he's still pretty cautious
Shane isn't the fondest of Sun because he creeps him out and is too high energy and he absolutely hates Moon because he's even creepier
However, Shane does put on little puppet shows in the daycare occasionally
The kids love it and Sun absolutely LOVES the handmade puppets
Shane makes one of Sun and he nearly cries
Ryan mocks Shane for his puppets but he thinks it's nice (like puppet history except family friendly so it's cuter and has less lore)
Shane hates DJ music man and finds him absolutely horrifying but Ryan, surprisingly, is kinda pals with him
Ryan used to be scared of him but he realized that while the other animatronics are overly emotional and kind of unstable DJMM literally just wants to vibe and make music and he likes that
DJMM will pat Ryan on the head as greeting. He tries to do the same to Shane but Shane freaks out.
Shane and Ryan are the reason there's a mini music man loose in the vents
Shane makes lil hats for the wet floor signs
Ryan is super polite to the cleaning and security bots and even convinces Map Bot to try to give a map to Shane every time they see him
Shane hates map bot because of that
If one of them is working and the other is off the clock they'll still hang out with each other
Too often one of them (usually Shane) will abandon their normal shifts just to go where the other one is patrolling
They're friendly with Vanessa even though she gets pissed that them for screwing around so much
They do listen to her which she appreciates
They're the only people who notice that something is up with her as time goes on
Ryan eventually ends up doing research on the Fazbear company as a whole and comes into work the next day with a case file full of info and print outs, a cup of coffee, and an insane look in his eyes
Shane tries to brush it off but is admittedly uncomfortable with all the disappearances and conspiracy
They agree that William Afton was super suspicious and Shane condemns him to hell
Shane convinces Ryan that all of that was a thing of the past and they have nothing to worry about and while Ryan does drop it neither of them forget about it
Ryan brings it up again when kids start going missing in the area and again, Shane tries to convince him that it's no big deal but he can't even convince himself
As for the actual story of Security Breach, I have some stuff thought up but it's not perfect. If anyone's interested in hearing about that please let me know! And if anyone wants to talk about this funky lil AU PLEASE share your thoughts because I am DYING to talk about it. FNAF and the boys are my two main hyperfixations so I have a whole lot of thoughts lmao
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👑HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING 👑
This is HIS year, mark my words
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NEW YEAR, NEW GIFS CHALLENGE Day 12: Favorite Duo Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej
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when you are done with a tab you can close it. every browser in the world has a feature that lets you open recently closed tabs. also there is browsing history. need to visit a webpage often? may i introduce you to the bookmarks feature. there’s no reason to leave your tabs open. hoarder behavior.
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babe wake up new sitcom power couple just dropped!
stream abbott elementary on hulu now!
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shane and ryan are the funniest bitches alive for making a whole thing about buzzfeed unsolved ending, a dramatic end to an era, only to come back with their own legally distinct version of the show like a week later
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the first episode of ghost files is just shane sitting on the floor putting the spirit box back together like ikea furniture
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Ryan and Shane: we felt like it was just time to end the show
Buzzfeed rn:
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you're laughing. shane madej and ryan bergara just gave a bloodsucking souldraining media corporation the biggest middle finger possible and you're laughing
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ryan really ended buzzfeed unsolved with a “maybe the real ghosts were the friends we made along the way”
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and the crowd cheered!!!!
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