sadeshacklebolt

[sadeshacklebolt]

"That's what I like to hear, Cress." Sade loved when her friends popped by to visit, a visit from Hestia and Cressida felt like a warm hug. It felt like the nights spent in Slytherin Dorms, giggling and talking about what happened in a day. She was immensely happy for Cressida, who had finally took a stand against her family to prioritise her happiness. Following her friend into the kitchen, Sade immediately reached for the champagne flutes. Looking into her fridge, she pulled out a bottle of Prosecco. Sure, it wasn't champagne but it definitely was a celebratory bottle. "I reckon this calls for a celebration. Don't you?"

"I'm sure it was beautiful, Cress. So tell me, how did it happen? I want every detail." Hearing about Cressida's wedding made her beam from ear to ear, she was sure that Tiberius and Cressida were a magnificent couple, a love that defies odds and traditions is undoubtedly a marvel, especially in such a tense society.

"Greece! You've gotten married and went to Greece in the space of a few months, I am absolutely envious. " Sade exclaimed, excitedly. Tapping her wand to the neck of the bottle, allowing it to pop. "Ah, them lot need something to talk about. Thankfully, Mrs McLaggen, you can leave all the judgement behind."

Cressida stepped inside, listening for some tell tale signs that the little Shacklebolt was running around as well. But as she didn’t hear anything, she turned around to face her friend. A smile automatically formed on her face upon seeing the excited expression on the woman’s face. “You will get a slice of cake no matter how you feel, so there’s that,” she said with a smile to her friend as she walked further into the house, towards the kitchen to make sure that they could get some part of the cake. Sade’s house was one she just knew like it had been her own as well. She put down the box on the counter and leaned against it as she watched Sade.

“The ceremony was very small and very quick. I did wear a white dress, because let’s be honest… I just had to because I am pretty sure ths is going to be my one and only wedding in my entire life.” Maybe they would do a redoing of the vows once the war was over, but that was something for the future.

“And then we went to Greece. Which was just the best. Good weather, good food, the best company and just no whispering behind my back about the fact that I’m that Malfoy who married a halfblood.”

[sadeshacklebolt]

Sade's eyes glanced over Jasper and Jeff as they interacted, picking up on every similarity. Trying to soak everything in before Jasper bolted to his room to fetch the jigsaw. Beforehand, her noticing Jasper's similarities with Jeff was simply by memory but in real time, there was little quips and quirks that Sade had never noticed before. Jeff was right, introducing him as Jasper's father was perhaps a little too daunting for the child to understand. Especially so soon. Sade nodded, smiling softly. "I understand, it's probably too daunting just yet." Typical Sade, jumping ahead of the moment. The pair hadn't even spent half an hour together and she had them fused as a family. Perhaps wishful thinking or the result of a guilty conscience. "You decide when you want or if - you want that to change," Sade clarified with a nod, "Just let me know."

It had been years since Jeff and Sade had a meal together, and it took some deep-diving to try and remember what he liked. In bid to appeal across the board, she went fairly basic with a roast dinner. It was one of the four dishes that Sade was well-versed in cooking, and she needed tonight to go well. "That would be great," Taking a few steps towards the kitchen, which in a fairly small apartment, joined with the dining room. "Does Roast Chicken work? It might be slightly burnt now.."

He was fascinated with tracking every expression from Jasper, genuinely taking an interest in every word leaving the excited little boy's mouth. He wasn't just any boy, just any kid. Jasper was his son. Even with some time to wrap his mind around the idea, it still felt surreal to him. "I don't know. I don't want to confuse him." This was the first time he was dealing with a situation like this, he didn't know what the right approach was. He hadn't told his family yet, he wanted to do that in person. Perhaps if this would go well Sade and Jasper would join him. In an ideal world they'd stay over there, safe until the war was over. He knew he couldn't ask her to give up her life, or demand she move, but he could provide her with the option and let her make her own choice. She had kept their son safe without him for the last five years, but this was different. If his cover was blown he could put them in danger and he needed her to know everything he could tell her without putting her in danger, so that she was prepared.

He sighed in relief when she agreed to wait until after dinner to hear him out. That went better than he thought it would, he was lucky that she was being agreeable and compromising. Hopefully that would continue after he told her the truth. He tried hiding his laugh with a cough when she suddenly remembered the dinner. "Do you need help setting the table?"

[sadeshacklebolt]

Jasper seemed to thrive when visitors came to the apartment, before Sade even got the chance to exchange a few words, the young boy was vying for the attention. Whether it was inviting them to play or showing off his room, this was the perfect setting for Jeff to get to know Jasper. All being well, the pair would warm to each other quickly. Unable to fight the small blush that peppered her cheeks when Jeff winked. Hopeful that he would be too distracted with Jasper to notice. This time around, Sade felt much more at ease, an unbearable weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The last time that they had interacted, Sade felt skittish and a hollow version of her typically bold self. Sure, she was far from being absolved of her actions but as her eyes took in the pair interacting, her confidence only grew.

“Jasper, dear. Breathe.” Sade laughed, “if you go to fetch your puzzle, I’m sure Jeff will help you with it.” It only took a few seconds for their son to run off into his room to find the puzzle. “Do you want introduced as Dad?” Sade lowered her voice, “I don’t know if it’s too soon…I didn’t want to rattle you.” She glanced round as she heard, Jasper clearly tearing his room apart to fetch his toy. Despite Jeff’s reassurance that everything was handled, Sade couldn’t help her curiosity, what was so imperative that something had to be handled? As a mother, it sparked immediate concern, but Sade nodded, she had kept her own secret from him for five years. She could at least wait until after dinner to hear Jeff’s. “After dinner.” Sade agreed with a smile, before it dawned. “Oh my Merlin, dinner! I almost forgot!” Grabbing her wand and charming the stove to stop.

The last time he'd been at her apartment was completely different to this one. He had been young, just starting his undercover gig and still unsure how much time it would take and what he would have to give up for it. Now looking at his five year old son standing before him he wondered if it had been worth it. He'd missed so much of his life already. His heart swelled when Jasper smiled at him, he couldn't help but smile back at the little boy, listening intently to every word Jasper was telling him.

He nodded at Sade's words focusing his attention back at Jasper asking him to show him his favorite puzzle. The little boy began to ramble excitedly and he winked at Sade from over his head. He needed her to be willing to listen to what he had to say later on. Jeff decided he would bring it up after their meal, unsure as to how she would react he didn't want to risk losing the chance to spend time with his son. Perhaps it was selfish, but these last few years he hadn't allowed himself to have anything he actually wanted. "No, you shouldn't. I've got everything handled. I'll tell you after dinner. When he goes to bed."

[sadeshacklebolt]

Since the day Jasper was born, Sade had relied on Kingsley’s support, and being both an amazing uncle and brother, he had been a lifeline for her. Sometimes, Sade felt she wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain, Kingsley spent far too much time fussing over her and withholding his own worries and emotions from her.

“Kingsley is the best, but I don’t appreciate trying to get Jasper ready for bed after the countless sugar quills.” She acknowledged with a laugh.

Following in Aurora’s lead as the woman lead her down the street towards a lunch spot. Sade raised an eyebrow at the mention of Kingsley training Aurora. “For more missions, that’s brilliant news.” She smiled, “I had a few attempts of attempting to rise amongst the ranks with a few extra tasks, but so far, nothing.”

Aurora might not be able to relate fully to what Sade was going through, but she could understand the shift in her priorities with having Jasper. She could never imagine being a single parent. There was a lot of respect for the witch in front of her.

"That sounds like a good uncle, to Jasper, not for you getting a sugar high toddler later." She lets out a small laugh. "I think my brother would do the same thing if he was an uncle." Aurora was certain he would marry and have children before her.

when the lunch offer was accepted, her arm slips through the other, starting to lead them down the street. "We can start with your brother training me."

[sadeshacklebolt]

Music drifted quietly into Sade’s living room, the token tale of a Saturday well spent catching up on errands, chores, and daily maintenance. Fully set for an evening spent unwinding, Sade lifted her head from her book as the doorbell chimed. Scuffling towards the door with her slippers on. At the sight of Cressida, Sade practically squealed with excitement. Standing to the side immediately to allow the other woman in.

“Cress, you have no need to apologise.” Smiling brightly at her friend, before casting a glance at the cake in Cressida’s hand. “However, if I have to be mad to get a slice of cake? Colour me furious.” She chuckled, beckoning for her friend to make herself comfortable. “Now, I need you to tell me everything. Every little detail.”

Starter for: Cressida & Sade ( @sadeshacklebolt )

If there was one thing that Cressida was happy about, it was the fact that her best friends hadn’t turned their backs on her. Sade and Hestia were still by her side and she was very grateful for that. With an ‘apology’ cake in hand, she had rang the doorbell at Sade’s, waiting for her to open up the door. Once the door was opened by her friend, she didn’t even wait before she would step inside. “I am so, so sorry that I couldn’t let you be at my wedding. I hope this cake and an explanation of it will make things a little bit better.”

[sadeshacklebolt]

Settling into the sofa with her own mug in hand, Sade looked down into her tea as Kingsley brought up the Order. In recent weeks, Sade had been interested in increasing her involvement, to maybe allow herself to be put forward for a few missions. Acting as a safe house wasn’t an option, bringing trouble to the home she shared with her son was never a step Sade was willing to take. Her involvement in the Order was supportive, rather than proactive, and anybody who knew Sade was aware at how much being sidelined irritated her. Nevertheless, it was something she knew Kingsley would disagree with. That was why she had visited a few of his friends, other influential figures within the Order’s ranks.

“You need to take a break,” Sade acknowledged, an evident tone of concern in her voice, “some time off might just be what you need.” Leaning back on the sofa, bringing her legs to rest beside her. Sade always admired Kingsley, his tenacity, and ambition but with the war ever-raging on, it wasn’t healthy to never switch off. “I’ve been good, starting back at the office is strange. A position in the Wizengamot doesn’t look quite as close as it once did.” She chuckled, a brief pause. “The Order? Something tells me you’ve heard about my requests.”

Kingsley loved his nephew more than life, but it was no understatement to say that Jasper was something akin to a hurricane. He loved spending time with him, but that sometimes came at the expense of quality time with his sister too and when Sade was on the verge of making a crucial decision that put her at significant risk, Kingsley was glad of the private time. He settled back into the sofa, his eyes following Sade as she passed before she disappeared from view. With her gone, Kingsley pulled his wand from his pocket and cast a few extra protection spells and wards over the home - he did it regularly, but it never hurt to ensure they were still holding up well.

"Work's busy but what's new when we're trying to chase Death Eaters down. I feel like between work and Order stuff, I never really get a chance to switch off or come and see you...but I'm trying to be better," he said earnestly, taking his mug. "How are you? I wanted to talk to you actually about the Order."

[sadeshacklebolt]

It felt strange to see Jeff standing in her apartment, especially after so much time had passed. In five years, Sade had built a family home out of her small flat. When she first fell pregnant, Sade panicked worrying about how she could ever raise a child within the slightly smaller two-bed flat. But now, as photographs and memories lined the walls. It felt surprisingly intimate, inviting somebody in to view the life she had built for her son. There was a pang of guilt, well aware that there was a missing figure from those memories, and that he now stood in the heart of her home, able to evaluate them all.

She recalled his previous visits to her flat, how different her life looked back then. Jeff had a certain magnetism, and even to this day, Sade found herself drawn to him. Her eyes scanned him briefly, evaluating his features for a moment as he spoke to Jasper. Seeing them beside each other, the similarities were unavoidable. Jasper beamed at Jeff, replying to the man with a whole explanation of his day. Jasper explained his recent fascination with Jigsaw Puzzles, and his love for the zoo.

Sade waited for a moment, allowing Jasper to ramble until his attention was diverted by his newest toy, turning her attention back to Jeff as Jasper began to play. "You'll find his love for Jigsaws lasts all of five minutes, and creates a bit of a mess. A jigsaw is an excellent way to bond, and you'd be doing me a massive favour. " She allowed herself to laugh, the first time since seeing Jeff again. This time around, she didn't have a pit of anxiety in her stomach and her shoulders were less tense. The secret was out in the open. Raising her eyebrow at Jeff's change of tone, noting how serious his demeanour was. "Should I be worried?"

Seeing Sade again it struck him how beautiful she was, even more so than she was when they first met. It had been what drew him to her at first, but her personality had been what charmed him, what made him fall for her in the short time they had been together.

He chuckled at Jasper's excitement as soon as gifts were mentioned, making a mental note to never show up empty handed. There were five years he had to make up for after all, might as well start now. Being introduced as "Jeff from Hogsmeade" stung, but he understood why. It was too much to spring on a little boy in one sitting, he would have to take slow steps to gain Jasper's trust before they could tell him he was his father. "It's nice to see you again Jasper. how are you doing?" He leaned down to be eye level with him. Hopefully, he would not be angry at Jeff for not being in his life up until this point. "The apartment looks great. You don't have to worry about cleaning up just because I come over." He didn't judge her for the state of the apartment and besides, it didn't look as bad as she made it out to be.

"There's something I need to discuss with you later. Things you need to know." He thought it best not to wait too long as it was her safety and Jasper's his secrets were concerning.

[sadeshacklebolt]

Sade had found it difficult to adjust to working life - mixed with parenthood, the odds felt incredibly against her. In these first few months, Sade was focusing on keeping her head down and readjusting her schedule before attempting to rejoin the career ladder.

Way back when, Sade had always longed to become a member of Wizengamot, but life had took its course and she wouldn't change anything for the world.

"Brilliant," Sade beamed when Alice agreed to lunch, she needed a friendly face. "Fancy the Leaky? Or perhaps Rosa Lee?"

Working as an auror had always been her dream, even as a little girl she dreamed about making a difference. As she grew older and the war progressed her determination to fight became even stronger. She never wavered in her career choice.

Even when she had the odd day going through case files instead of being out on the field. It was all part of the job and she felt like after five hours of staring at two seemingly unconnected cases, that she found similarities in them. Enough to warrant a discussion with a fellow auror.

Looking up from her desk she spotted Sade, Kingsley's sister, smiling back at her. "Absolutely. I'd love to. I could do with a break anyways. Plus, I'm starving."

[sadeshacklebolt]

Sade always enjoyed when Kingsley called round, usually when Jasper was awake, they barely had a minute to catch-up. Now that Jasper was asleep, it felt like the perfect opportunity for a cup of tea and a much needed catch-up with her brother. Sade had been trying juggle Jasper, her return to work and attempt to increase her role within the order. It seemed like the pair were passing ships. Pushing herself off of the sofa, Sade patted Kingsley on the shoulder as she passed. "No, don't worry. I can pop on the brew."

"How are you?" Sade called into the living room from the kitchen, tapping her wand against the teapot. Boiling the water in an instant, she grabbed her and Kingsley's mug, and made the tea. "I feel like it's been forever."

Being an auror meant working unusual and irregular hours and days, and Kingsley wouldn’t change it for a thing. Much of his spare time was now filled with Order business, but he was determined that at least once a week he would try and see his sister and his nephew. The war was important, but not so important that he would toss his family aside for it. His battle injury that had left him near to death had solidified that importance – and it was that injury that made him so scared of Sade increasing her involvement. Kingsley had never truly struggled for words, but he wasn’t sure how to express to his sister how scared he was of losing her to the Death Eaters. And what would happen to Jasper without his mother?

Shooting his sister a sheepish smile at her surprise, Kingsley threw himself down onto the couch with a heavy sigh. “I’ll knock more than once next time, sorry. I probably should’ve sent an owl too,” he said, kicking his shoes off to make himself comfortable. “Not so urgent that I can’t wait for the kettle. I’d be glad of a cup of tea, I don’t mind making it if you want to stay sat down.”

[sadeshacklebolt]

From the weekend, Sade had been anxiously cleaning every corner of her apartment. Finding herself charming Jasper's bedsheets to avoid creasing, but with a five year-old son and a new work routine. Her desire to be meticulous had ultimately failed and soft toys sat on her sofa, and jigsaw puzzles were desperately scattered across their coffee table. Jasper was dressed like a new pin, and long may it last. Sade, however, was not quite as together. Having prepared a spot of dinner, and spent her time cleaning and getting Jasper ready, she looked somewhat flustered. It seemed that Jeff was going to get the full experience on his first visit.

Hearing a knock at the door, Sade's nerves tripled. "Jasper, do you want to answer the door with me?" She requested, grateful that her son seemed particularly keen.

Opening the door, Jasper uttered a hello, followed by an excited shriek at the mention of gifts. "Jasper, you remember Jeff...from Hogsmeade." Introducing Jeff as dad, might be a step too far. But she wanted their son to at least engage in some conversation before being distracted by the excitement of presents. "Come in," Sade stepped to the side, "Please, ignore the apartment" She chuckled, "I spent the morning cleaning but Jasper wanted to do a puzzle for all of five minutes."

status: for @sadeshacklebolt

location: her apartment

All day he'd been filled with nerves, glancing at the watch in the shop for what felt like hours upon hours. It felt like no time had passed and yet in his mind he'd lived through another lifetime. He'd forgotten to ask Sade if it was okay that he brought something, but he figured she'd understand him wanting to bring his son a present. It was still crazy for him to think about, the fact that he now had a child. Technically he'd had a child for five years. Knocking at the door to her apartment he suddenly felt nervous. Jeff wanted Jasper to like him. And he wanted to get some time to tell Sade the truth about who he actually was. Hopefully that would be the diffiuclt part and things with Jasper would run smoothly. "I've come bearing gifts."

[sadeshacklebolt]

A long day rounded up with a seamless bedtime for Jasper and a cup of tea had become the norm for Sade in recent months. While other twenty-seven year olds were thankful for a wild night, Sade's evenings were made with a book and a warm beverage. Evidently, her intention to be a bit more independent as Jasper grew had faltered slightly, but Sade wouldn't change it for the world. Sade was just about to embark on a new chapter, to engrossed in her book to notice a brief knock at the door. Sade jumped slightly in surprise as her brother made his way into her living room.

"Merlin, Kings." Sade exclaimed in surprise, although her tone remained quiet. "Unexpected visits are always welcome, but perhaps a louder knock next time." She teased, setting her book down on her coffee table. "Too urgent for a cup of tea? Or can it wait until the kettle brews?"

There was a emotional war going on inside Kingsley's mind, and no amount of sitting and thinking about it privately would do him any good. It was almost selfish of him, but Kingsley figured if there was ever a time to be selfish was now. He'd heard whispers that Sade was angling for more missions within the Order and he'd be a liar if he said that didn't terrify him. He would never presume that he could control Sade or what she did, but that didn't mean he couldn't heavily warn against it. Kingsley apparated onto Sade's doorstep, knocking once as a courtesy before he pushed the door open and walked in. He'd timed it knowing Jasper would already be in bed, which meant that hopefully he could talk to his sister with minimal interruptions.

"Sade?" he called, his voice low so as to not wake his nephew. "Sorry for dropping in unannounced, but I need to talk to you. Urgently." @sadeshacklebolt

[sadeshacklebolt]

Sade was fond of Aurora, through the years of being in the Order of the Phoenix, the pair had gotten to know each other and despite having two years between them, Sade seemed to have found a kindred spirit. "Far too long, I never seem to get much time to myself these days." Especially since her return to work, her ability to see friends had faltered significantly.

"Knowing my brother, Jasper will return with more soft toys than his bed can handle and with a hoard of sweets." Sade nodded in agreement.

Smiling as Aurora clarified that she was doing better, "Of course, I would love some lunch. You can fill me in on everything."

It had been too long since she had last seen Sade, considering they were both in the order, and both had those that liked to keep them safe. Her head shakes at the other. "You really have nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad we are meeting like this. It has been too long." Aurora really had to stop and start making more time for her friends.

She let out a small laugh. "I am sure Kingsley is going to spoil him and bring him home all on sugar." Aurora had a high respect for the wizard.

"I am doing better." Slowly accepting she would have to train more to get back on missions. "Are you free to get some lunch?"

[sadeshacklebolt]

where : outside flourish and blotts

who : open to anyone

Adjustment was never easy for Sade, she found it hard to stick to things that she didn't take to easily. Her return to work upon Jasper starting nursery, had been particularly difficult, she found desk work mundane and despite working in the department of international magical cooperation, she was seeking more of a challenge. It seemed her boss lacked trust in Sade, and a majority of the work piled on her desk was sending out letters requesting wizengamont members presence on a trial. Those who had worked their longer were faced with exciting dilemmas, meanwhile Sade remained on the amateur tasks.

So when her boss arrived at her desk, seeking Sade's assistance. Excitement coursed through her veins at the prospect of an exciting new task. Much to Sade's dismay, her boss soon followed up with a request for Sade to pick up a new potions book. The book title scribbled on a piece of parchment, Sade arrived at the doorstep of the bookshop. She sighed, irritated as she noticed a winding queue around the shop floor.

"Excuse me," She waved over to a person nearby "Do you happen to know what is going on in there? It seems like the books are quite literally flying off the shelves."

[sadeshacklebolt]

Sade's arms extended to steady Aurora, she chuckled breathlessly. Sade needed to learn how to slow down, her mind always seemed to be racing, jumping between one task to another. Relieved that her bag from Magic Neeps remained in tight grasp following the collision.

"Don't worry about me," Sade smiled, bringing her arms back to her side. "It's my fault - I always tend to be in a bit of a rush.

"Jasper is with Kingsley, Kingsley reckoned that it was time to take Jasper to London Zoo. But Jasper made it very clear that it's strictly an Uncle Kingsley day, I didn't get an invite. " Sade laughed, "How are you, Aurora?"

Aurora was running a few errands before she had to make it back to her shop. She hated leaving it closed, but sometimes it was easier to do what she needed in the middle of the afternoon. She found she was busier closer to dusk, most people stumbling in and curious what she did. It was happy place.

She wasn't paying attention to where she was going, looking down at her parchment, scribbled notes, when a body came colliding into her. Her hands coming up to hold onto them to not fall over.

"Sade?" At least it wasn't that of someone who does not like her company. Being almost knocked over by a friend was okay. "I'm fine. Are you okay?" Instantly, her eyes scan for Jasper. "Where is little man?"

[sadeshacklebolt]

"I don't know...I just -" While Sade understood the dilemma, she would much prefer to keep Jasper as unaware of the situation as possible, the guilt was killing her. Anger and shouting would be easier for her to deal with, than this. "You never should have found out this way. I should have told you back then." But after five years, Sade didn't have the right to try and control his reaction to save her own feelings. Jeff had lost five years of his son life, as a result of Sade's fears and worry, Sade could cope with guilt. "But I know it's too little far too late."

Sade let go of Jasper's hand for a moment, looking into her handbag for a piece of paper. It had been a long time, and despite the hours and memories spent in her flat, Sade didn't know if Jeff recalled her address. "Just incase, you don't remember." She explained, jotting down her address on the paper and passing it to him.

Glancing back at Jasper, who seemed to be evaluating the man in front of him, before throwing a toothy grin his way. "Wednesday evening? You can have dinner with him, if you like."

"What do you want me to do? I can't scream and yell or get angry. One, I don't want to scare him and two, I don't think jt'd be right for me to act that way towards you." She was the mother of his child. It was still hard to wrap his head around the information, five minutes ago his whole world had been different. At least to him. Jasper had existed before that but he had simply no clue about it. There were things he'd been hiding too, things he planned to come clean to her about when they were out of the public eye. She had to know who he really was, that if things got worse here, that she had a safe place back in Boston. That his entire family was there. God, his family. How would they react to him having a child? A child that was five years old that didn't know them or him.

Would she come with him to go visit? To introduce Jasper to his grandparents? To his aunts and uncles? To his cousins? He knew it was a big ask, but hopefully with time, she would be willing to consider it. Perhaps she would even consider staying in America where it was safer for them. He'd have to return to finish his mission, but he'd feel better knowing they were safe.

Taking a deep breath he nodded, looking back at Jasper once again. He couldn't stop looking at him, taking in little details here and there. She still lived in the same place. It was crazy to think about, the memories they'd shared in that apartment. He thought he was keeping her safe by cutting ties early, even though he'd fallen hard when they'd met it had been the right thing to do. "I'll be there. Name the time and place." Jeff would do his best to keep that promise.

[sadeshacklebolt]

RYAN DESTINY via instagram (kingmalimagic)

[sadeshacklebolt]

I missed so much, four words that broke Sade. In all her years of reminiscing and reimagining their situation, she had pictured anger, bitterness, and venom. But the wistful nature of those words falling from Jeff’s lips felt horrendous. To think that she had caused that hurt, the guilt of this moment was sure to haunt her until her very last breath. Over the years, she had found solace in scrapbooking and documenting everything. Believing that sliding photographs and milestone momentos across a table would ease the pain of absence. But as she stood there looking at Jeff, Sade clicked that those hours spent documenting were more to subside her own guilty conscience rather than ease Jeff’s pain. How foolish was she to believe otherwise?

Jeff was right, she could have tried. There was no words that could make up for the years lost, or to justify her not reaching out. At least not in this moment, as Jeff came to the realisation he had a son. A deeper hash into Sade’s actions could be pencilled for a later date. “Everything happened so…quickly.” Kingsley had tried to convince her to reach out, but following a harsh meeting with their parents, Sade ruled out telling Jeff. Fearing to once again be rebuked for having a baby without a stable situation under her feet. In reality, she should have known. In the month or so that they dated, Jeff had been caring, she should have know that he would have helped. Regardless of the status of their own relationship.

The praise and understand, although well-intended, only further drove in the knife of guilt. “Don’t…say that. Not after what I’ve done.” Feeling her eyes begin to sting, she didn’t want to cry. Not in front of Jeff or Jasper. “I can bring him by…” Sade nodded taking a deep breath, glancing at Jasper, who seemed perfectly content peeking into his bag of sweets. “Or you could come to my flat…I still live in the same place.” It might all be too much for Jeff, but Sade reckoned it was a better way to get to know him. “He loves to show people his room….” Her voice wavering slightly as she finished.

"I did. I missed so much..." Jeff trailed off with a sigh, looking at the adorable little boy. He was trying to stay calm, not wanting to cause a scene in public or alert anyone to what was currently going on. No one could know that Jasper was his, it would only put him and Sade in danger if his mission would fail, or they could be used as leverage. Jeff never planned on telling her the truth about who he actually was, but now it was different and he felt like he had to reevaluate the situation. Just because she had been keeping things from him and it upset him, didn't mean he could risk putting either of them in danger because his feelings got hurt. "If you wanted to find me you could have. Perhaps with a little difficulty, I won't deny that, but if you really wanted to you could've found me." Running a hand through his hair he took a deep breath to center himself. "I know I cannot even comprehend how hard this must have been for you, to go through this alone." He could acknowledge that, command her for taking care of Jasper well, he seemed like a well adjusted kid, but the truth was, Jeff knew nothing about their life or about Jasper. He had the desire to know more, to know everything.

"You must have been scared and thought you were doing the best with the situation, but I don't think it's fair that I've missed out on the past five years. Can you come to my place, with him, in a few days? So we can talk? I would like to learn more about Jasper." And then he would tell her the truth about who he actually was. He would give her the address of his second apartment, the one the death eaters didn't know about, his safe house. He could not risk someone seeing Sade and Jasper at his death eater apartment.