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i feel like everyone’s forgotten some Covid basics so please let me remind you:

Your mask protects others more than it protects you

You can still spread covid even if you’re vaccinated or not showing any symptoms

The more this spreads around, the more mutated variants of the virus will appear and they WILL be stronger than the original

so like maybe stop being a little bitch and endangering others because you really, really needed to go out to dinner or get fucked up at a bar instead of in your home like a respectable person

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Everyone should know the international sign for Help Me. Let’s make this famous!!

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Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.

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I had a dream that the king and the queen of a small country had a daughter. They needed a son, a first-born son, so in secret, without telling anyone of their child’s gender, they travelled to the nearby woods that were rumoured to house a witch.

They made a deal with that witch. They wanted a son, and they got one. A son, one made out of clay and wood, flexible enough to grow but sturdy enough to withstand its destined path, enchanted to look like a human child. The witch asked for only one thing, and that was for their daughter.

They left the girl readily.

The witch raised her as her own, and called her Thyme. The princess grew up unknowing of her heritage, grew up calling the witch Mama, and the witch did her very best to earn that title.

She was taught magic, and how to forage in the woods, how to build sturdy wooden structures and how to make the most delicious stews. The girl had a good life, and the witch was pleased.

The girl grew into a woman, and learned more and more powerful magics, grew stronger from hauling wood and stones and animals to cook, grew smarter as the witch taught her more.

She learned to deal with the people in the villages nearby, learned how to brew remedies and medicines and how to treat illness and injury, and learned how to tell when someone was lying. 

Every time the pair went into town, the people would remark at just how similar Thyme was to her mother. 

(Thyme does not know who and what she is. She does not know that she was born a princess, that she was sold. She only knows that one night after her mother read her a story about princesses and dragons, her mother had asked her if she ever wanted to be a princess.)

((Thyme only knows that she very quickly answered no. She likes being a witch, thank you very much, she likes the power that comes with it and the way that she can look at things and know their true nature.))

The witch starts preparing the ritual early, starts collecting the necessities in the winter so they can be ready by the fall equinox. Her daughter helps, and does not ask what this is for, just knows that it is important.

The witch looks at Thyme, both their hands raised into the air over a complicated array of plants, tended carefully to grow into a circle, and says, sorry.

Keep reading

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VIBE CHECK *gently presses our foreheads together*

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Conservatives accidentally doing this never gets old

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It should be obvious, no?

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[Mentally ill people who have issues with maintaining their hygiene deserve understanding and compassion]

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i would die for this little boy

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advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

instant cute outfit with minimal effort

it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages

sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable

u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

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love threat letter to any and all transphobes

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Hope, BC 🇨🇦

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Purple squad unite! 💜💜💜

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Client: “What do you mean nail trims cost money? That’s ridiculous!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. May I ask why you can’t trim Charlie’s nails at home?”

Owner: “He’s a pain in the ass! We just can’t do it, even with my husband and two kids holding him it’s impossible.”

Me: “That’s why it costs money.”

Owner: “Well... that’s stupid!”