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【FF14】最终被害妄想

ELF BOYS DANCING

This video is the greatest thing ever.

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Who to fight: Final Fantasy 14

Paladin: Do not fight the Paladin. You might be able to whittle her down eventually, over the course of several years, but you will be so bored. You will be so bored you will start to do anything just to get her to stop her 3-button combo. the combo will never stop. it will never, ever stop.

Monk: Do it. Fight the Monk. They are chill and cool friends and are always happy to punch and be punched. Fight the Monk and then afterwards kiss the Monk and buy them an early Christmas present, maybe swap glamour tips, it’s going to be a good time i promise you.

Warrior: Absolutely fight the warrior you will win 90% of the time because 90% of the time they will forget defiance. this matchup is a game of wits and you will have a headstart. however, if you are the unlucky few who fight the 10% who remembered you will be absolutely slaughtered and you will have a closed casket ceremony.

Dragoon: fight the dragoon, under any and all scenarios. Any environment, any weather condition, fight the dragoon. obviously if you can fight them near a ledge, absolutely do this and you will win. If you cannot find a ledge, you can instead call them a novice game and they will fly into a rage and mess up their 300-string combo. this is when you strike.

Bard: This one is a tossup, honestly. your opening move should always be to make a scathing comment about their dps. If they take the bait, you have won. If they remain silent and play Foe’s Requiem, you need to get out as fast as you can because death is coming and i wont be able to help you.

Ninja: honestly i have no idea. i dont know what ninjas do. they have secret handshakes i guess??? and a magic fog machine? and they can summon water or something i dont know, there’s backflips, i would not recommend this. maybe bribe your way out of the fight with a wall scroll? you can probably pick one up at like hot topic

White Mage: How dare you. How absolutely dare you even consider this. DOn’t you dare fight a white mage they are just doing their best and this is a wretched scenario.

shame on you.

Summoner: ?????????? ??????? maybe? if you can find a summoner, then i guess you could fight them. its going to be a very unpleasant fight and it would sort of be like fighting a, a, i dont know, a yangtze river dolphin, or like a pinta tortoise, except that theyre poisonous. try to ignore the summon, as the summoner himself is the soft, fleshy target, the vulnerable heart of the summoner’s complex web of diseases and weird cross class skills.

Scholar: similar to summoner only easier to bully. slap away their summon and push them in the dirt. this is an easy and sad fight.

Black Mage: this is a winnable fight in a few different ways. do not bring friends, you will regret this. on a similar note, however, feel free to fight in crowded areas. i guarantee the black mage will pull aggro and get themselves killed without you having to lift a finger. if on the off chance you are alone with the black mage, throw AoEs at them. after three or four they should start screaming incoherently about a “rotation,” and this is when you make your move.

[sagariel]

Being a heal in Corsairs Stronghold

Jumping down to gate just to see no one is pvp’ing

Being alone at mid while it gets attacked

Seeing no one’s at ladder but know you can’t stay

Seeing everyone leaving ladder

Seeing mid sieges empty

Announcing south ship only to see that sieges ignore it and keep shooting the gate

Seeing ladder folks screaming for help, but you already know no one’s gonna help

Healing groups, then getting called a noob for not healing someone behind you

Getting insulted when calling DPS out for not staying at ladder

Crying over all the pvp horny idiot dps who don’t listen to strategy

MYSTIC BONUS:

Raid starting with “They have more priest, they will win”

Dropping lots of motes at mid just to see someone with 90 % health picking up all of them

Getting a “Lol u a mystic u suck no wonder we lost mid” after solo healing mid attack

Seeing a priest not using energy stars on gate, not using healing immersion, not using ANYTHING, then getting a “gg mystics suck”

[sagariel]

So my retainer, Francis’, stole a window…

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the one and only achievement of every healer in any mmo

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[sagariel]

Minfilia: Looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll.

Yda: Looks like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you.

Papalymo: Looks like he could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.

Y'shtola: Looks like she could kill you, and could actually kill you.

Thancred: Sinnamon roll.

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MIQO’TE EAR WIGGLES

Reblog if you agree

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AWWWWWWWWW SHHHHHHHHHHHUSH U

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Snuggle buds.

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I’m not sorry.

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when u wanna take a nice selfie but ifrit got no chill

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by  Shilin Huang

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@wrathea

Read more about your Zodiac sign here

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