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saikaigigi · 7 years

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Spring has finally come.

Spring is here. It’s still chilly at night but the days are a lot more comfortable. I was able to sleep in my bedroom upstairs finally - I’ve been sleeping in the living room with the heater on all winter. I love the bedroom. There are nice shoji doors by the window and the sun brightens the room nicely. Also, there’s an actual bed. I have to enjoy it as much as I can before summer is too hot and humid to sleep up there.

I have wanted to update this blog for awhile now. I don’t really know where to begin though, so I usually back out and forget about it. But the truth is...that I’m kind of struggling. There were some personal issues that I managed to sort out finally, and I thought that once that happened I would return to my usual self. But I’m still finding it hard to put my all into work. It doesn’t help that things are REALLY slow lately because there aren’t as many classes due to graduation, entrance exams, and spring break coming up soon. I mostly don’t know what to do with myself during all the down time at my desk and I get so bored that I just want to go lay down and sleep somewhere. I feel like so much time is wasted. I could be drawing and working on my skill, doing something enjoyable. But instead I sit there feeling like I need to be doing something productive and yet there isn’t anything I can do. At my old base school, I at least feel like I have friends to talk to. But at my new base school, honestly, sometimes I don’t even talk to anyone all day. I’m pretty lonely. I should go talk to the students more, but finding a good time to do so is hard. I even drafted out a plan for some sort of lunchtime English club so that I could get closer to them. But I’m afraid to present my idea because - well, I’ve been having a hard time going to work. I’ve had several mental health days at home. How can I present something like that when I can’t even be at work half the time? I feel undependable.

I think I’m probably being too hard on myself. No one has said they’re displeased with me. They all just worry about me.

What would make it easier for me? Should I move closer to my new base school? That way I can just roll out of bed and be there. I really think that it would help. Even though my current apartment is amazing. Maybe it’s too cozy!

I know that a lot of the time on JET, people move back home when they have really bad mental health. Mine was super bad a few weeks ago, but it does feel like it’s letting up and I can finally breathe again. It took a lot of effort. I started online counseling, kept up with my mood chart, went to the psychiatrist (and started a different medicine), reached out to teachers, spent time with friends, took time to myself, took a lot of baths, bought some scented lotions and bath salts, cut my hair, indulged in some video games and TV... It’s working. Very slowly, but it’s working! I feel as though going home wouldn’t fix my problems. And I very much don’t want to return to how I was living before JET. At any given time I had $20 to my name. I worked hard to get here.

I also really want to find somewhere to volunteer. I want to work with animals. I miss cats a lot. If I could find a no-kill shelter to volunteer at, I would be so freaking happy. I think about Ame a lot (the kitten I rescued last summer). I miss her. I can’t get her back, but maybe there’s something I can do for other animals. The thing is that there aren’t really no-kill shelters in Japan. I think there are some up north on Honshu but... I don’t know where to begin looking. I doubt anyone I ask would be able to help me find one around here. And I can’t volunteer at the kill shelters, not after what I learned about gassing animals...

I want to be plugged in. I haven’t found my own path here. I want to find it. I’m tired of feeling like I’m just a tag-along for my boyfriend’s activities. I still want to go with him to stuff, but I also want my own thing. I think that’s what has been missing.

Right now I just need to work on my avoidant behavior. I think I’m anxious about going to work, so I try to avoid it by staying home - but that just adds fuel to the fire. I had this problem for awhile in college, too. I figured that out, so I can fix this, too.

I don’t know if it’s stubbornness or determination, but I want to stay here and figure out my path. I want to continue teaching English and find something outside of work that enriches my life. I’m signed on until July 2019, so until then I will continue to push forward.

(and of course if this all falls apart, I won’t beat myself up...)

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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1. What program do you work for? JET Programme 2. Tell me something interesting about your prefecture! There were Christians martyred here (Nagasaki) 3. When do you go to bed usually? 10 or 11pm 4. Is this your first time living away from home? I moved out of my parent’s when I went to college. But as for living away from the States, this would be my second time. First time was the summer I lived in Oita prefecture to study Japanese. 5. What is your housing like? I have a 2 level apartment with 3 tatami rooms. It’s got a nice view of the ocean 6. Who is your greatest support? My boyfriend. He came here a year before me, then I got accepted and placed in the same town. He pretty much can tell me anything I need to know. 7. What’s your favorite food in Japan? I really like pumpkin croquettes 8. What are you the most proud of since coming to Japan? My JTE’s have gotten much better at English since I’ve been here. 9. Do you have any regrets from your time in Japan? I don’t get out enough. 10. How many schools do you have? I have 3 schools: 2 high schools, 1 junior high 11. Why did you decide to become an ALT? I wanted to do it the moment I learned about the program. It seemed fun and I thought I could learn a lot of Japanese 12. What is your favorite character? If this means kanji, I don’t really have a favorite. If you mean pop culture/anime, definitely Sailor Moon. 13. Where do you do most of your lesson planning? At my desk. I try not to take my work home. 14. What is your favorite Japanese word? irusu. Pretending not to be home. 15. Do you have a motto? I quote Sailor Moon songs 16. Where are you from? I’m from Iowa, United States 17. What do you tell your students about your home country/town? There’s...corn. I also tell them about the Mississippi River. I have to emphasize how cold the winters are, and that there aren’t any mountains. 18. Is there a lesson you want to do, but haven’t found the right class for? I want to use English language manga that I brought with me. 19. How close are you with your JTEs? It depends. Some, I’m very close with. I even almost joined a cult on accident (okay that’s maybe an exaggeration but they were a very controversial sect of Buddhism). Others, we only talk about the lesson. 20. Where do you go to relax? I relax at my apartment. No better place to be. 21. What food are you craving? I always crave random things from home. Usually tacos. 22. What do you do in your down time? Mess around online, draw, make something 23. How do you get to your schools? I drive! My town doesn’t have trains. There’s like one bus. 24. What is your work playlist? I don’t listen to music at work... 25. Is there anything you wish more people knew about Japan? That it’s not a perfect country but it’s not a bad one, either. People are the same everywhere you go. 26. Do you like the other ALTs in your area? YES! They’re awesome and we are like family. 27. What’s an ideal weekend like for you? No plans, nice weather 28. Is there a cafe, bar, or restaurant in your town you recommend? There’s not a whole lot here....but there is randomly a really good Texas BBQ joint 25 mins from me. 29. What would you tell yourself as an incoming ALT? It’s okay to make a mistake, talk to everyone, and relax 30. Who do you go to for advice? During my first year, I went to the senpai ALTs a lot. Now I just talk to my fellow ALTs and we figure things out together. If it’s for Japanese culture/etc, I ask my JTEs questions. 31. What’s your favorite memory of Japan so far? My favorite memory is finding out the student I’ve been helping outside of classes got accepted to university 32. What kind of omiyage should someone get from your town or prefecture? Castella cakes are big here. Anything mikan is good. 33. If you could have any job, what would your profession be? Illustrator 34. What was your first lesson like? I felt like I was shouting because I wasn’t used to using my voice so much XD 35. Do you know what you want to do after being an ALT? I’m still figuring it out. I’m thinking about attending a Japanese technical school, if my Japanese level is high enough.

🦄35 ALT Asks🦄

1. What program do you work for? 2. Tell me something interesting about your prefecture! 3. When do you go to bed usually? 4. Is this your first time living away from home? 5. What is your housing like? 6. Who is your greatest support? 7. What’s your favorite food in Japan? 8. What are you the most proud of since coming to Japan? 9. Do you have any regrets from your time in Japan? 10. How many schools do you have? 11. Why did you decide to become an ALT? 12. What is your favorite character? 13. Where do you do most of your lesson planning? 14. What is your favorite Japanese word? 15. Do you have a motto? 16. Where are you from? 17. What do you tell your students about your home country/town? 18. Is there a lesson you want to do, but haven’t found the right class for? 19. How close are you with your JTEs? 20. Where do you go to relax? 21. What food are you craving? 22. What do you do in your down time? 23. How do you get to your schools? 24. What is your work playlist? 25. Is there anything you wish more people knew about Japan? 26. Do you like the other ALTs in your area? 27. What’s an ideal weekend like for you? 28. Is there a cafe, bar, or restaurant in your town you recommend? 29. What would you tell yourself as an incoming ALT? 30. Who do you go to for advice? 31. What’s your favorite memory of Japan so far? 32. What kind of omiyage should someone get from your town or prefecture? 33. If you could have any job, what would your profession be? 34. What was your first lesson like? 35. Do you know what you want to do after being an ALT?

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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Oh, it’s 2018.

Well, I meant to keep this blog updated. But since I wasn’t feeling so hot mentally, I just let it go for awhile. I did manage to get back on my medicine. I ended up going to the nurse one day and asking her for help finding a doctor after my own search for one nearby was getting to be too much for me. She found one in town, so I don’t have to drive far.

Happy New Year, everyone. I hope this year is easier.

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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"you don't need therapy"

Jte: that student likes to erase the board a lot.

Me: I like erasing the board too. It's therapeutic.

Jte: really? But you're such a calm and reserved person. You don't need therapy.

Me: *doesn't know what to say* uh, yeahhhhhh, heh, I just go with the flow? I guess?

This was a really weird conversation I had today. I mean, sure, someone can seem fine on the outside but that doesn't mean they aren't stressed out or struggling. I think it was meant as a compliment. Recently I've been feeling like I DO need therapy, so I was surprised by this statement.

One thing is true though: I always do my best at work and that's why no one would think I'm struggling.

It's probably a good thing.

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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Well, it wasnt my plan to go off of my medicine, but here we are.

I originally brought a years worth of medicine with me, and I was planning to find a doctor here to get more and stay on it. Long story short, I havent found a psychiatrist yet. I cant even say its because I can’t make an appointment. I’ve made plenty appointments, I even made vet appointments for the kitten I rescued. Part of me is wary of the psychiatrists here. With the way doctors treat patients here and all… Basically, the doctors dont really admit if they dont know how to treat you. They’ll give you something weak or god forbid, Chinese herbs. Now, maybe its different with psychiatrists. But based on my and Phils experiences, I cant help but be apprehensive. So I think that is what has been holding me back. That, and I think part of me doesnt want to deal with it. I have enough to worry about just making sure I perform well at work and I eat right or whatever. For the past few months, I had been taking the medicine every other day, or really every few days. I thought that I could buy myself time to deal with the foreign take on psychiatry. I dont know of many people heard about the ALT this past year who died due to maltreatment as an inpatient at a psychiatry ward of a hospital. Basically, they had him bound for days and he got a blood clot and died. So yeah, I’m hesitant.

By buying myself time, I ended up weening myself off of my medicine instead. And this was a complete accident. It was only when i started feeling nauseous after taking even half a pill that I realized what was happening. I also have had some mood swings and a hard time regulating my emotions. Not in such a bad way that it interrupts my work or my ability to function, but enough for me to notice.

It was my decision to stay on the medicine until I felt situated, adjusted to just simply living. I was going to stay on it until after my time on JET, because what if something weird happens and I have a really bad reaction? I can’t always say how I’ll react to things. I do my best, but sometimes I still feel like crying, disappearing, or just dying. I CAN sort through these feelings. I’ve learned how to push through it. But how much worse could it be completely vanilla with unassisted regulation of the chemicals in my brain? I dont know.

I’m a little nervous. I think I need to still see a doctor to make the decision to stay off of the medicine or to start it back up. But I honestly feel strengthened knowing that I can get through things. I dont want to go back to it if maybe I dont need it.

Honestly, the things that bother me these days are not new. I have established thought patterns that I need to work on. I feel like a therapist could help with that.

My biggest fear for going off of the medicine completely (I say that because as soon as I feel sick to my stomach or off, I have taken a quarter of my dose to settle my body down, which is helping it taper off actually. I think its still in my system.) — My biggest fear is the return of derealization.

If you dont know what that is, you’re so freaking lucky. It’s a symptom of anxiety. My experience with it is that I suddenly feel like my body isnt real and I’m fading from myself. Breathing doesnt feel real, nothing around me feels real. The one thing that helps me is to eat some bread and just feel the texture and my senses come back slowly. Its a terrifying experience. The first time it happened I went to the ER because i thought I was dying. Curiously, this usually happens to me at night.

It started to happen the other night. But I stood up, turned on the lights and said “nope not today satan”

I wonder if I will be okay.

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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Making a difference in students lives

About a month ago, the 3rd grader (senior) whose English journal I check every week, was outside the teachers room. I ran into her there. I asked her how her university exam and English interview went and she said that she felt like she didn't do well and that the other students there spoke better English than her. She seemed to be on the verge of tears. So I tried my best to encourage her and tell her how well she's been doing. Since then, I've been worried that I didn't do enough for her this past year. I was disappointed in myself.

Today, she told me that she passed. I am so so so so happy for her! I cried a little actually. I also gave her a hug. I knew she could do it. She thanked me for helping her and for always talking to her in English. So, I feel like I've actually made a difference by being an ALT. And I'm probably still making a difference to more kids than I realize. It makes me so happy to see the kids at that high school succeed because I know what it's like to be the underdog school. I want to encourage the ones interested in English because when I was in high school, I didn't have a Japanese teacher. I didn't have an ALT. Our roles here are so important. I'm glad I could help this student realize her potential and her dreams.

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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The time I rescued a kitten in Japan.

The time I rescued a kitten in Japan. This is a long post.

I’ve always thought that if a stray cat came to my apartment, I would be tempted to take it in. But those cats are usually self sufficient and able to fend for themselves. They don’t really *need* me to help them. They can hunt on their own and don’t exactly need food from me (although I do have some treats in case a kitty shows up - it happened once!).

I chronicled my adventure on Facebook, but here I would like to write in detail about my experience rescuing a kitten in Japan.

This is Ame on the day I found her

I was on my 30 minute commute to my second high school when suddenly I spotted a VERY scared looking kitten sitting in the road against the curb. There was no question about what I had to do. There were so many cars and I KNEW that she was going to get hurt. I’ve seen dead cats on the road here too many times now. So I turned around and pulled over across the street from her, and walked toward her. I wanted to be on the opposite side of the road in case she ran away from me - this way she’d go on the sidewalk. I was sort of in a panic but I managed not to get hit either lol. She stood up when she saw me coming to her and didn’t run away. She looked at me like she wanted my help. I picked her up really fast and went to the sidewalk where I held her to me and looked around for a mother cat. There wasn’t one in sight. I walked a little and ran into an old man, who I asked for advice. He said I probably would have to take her. I really didn’t have much time - I was running late to work now - so I decided to take her in my car and figure out what to do with her once I got to the school. (Actually, at this point in time I didn’t know if she was a boy or a girl.) When I got into the car, I noticed that her eyes were caked in yellow mucous.

I sat the cat down on the passenger seat and turned the car around. She climbed up my arm while I was driving, and my lap suddenly got REALLY WARM. Yeah. She peed on me. I don’t know if it was out of fear or comfort, but I got peed on by a stray kitten. In my car on the way to work with no change of clothes on me. And the pee was RIGHT where it looked like I peed myself. But I wasn’t mad at her. I actually thought it was quite hilarious. I pulled over (after I promptly removed her from my lap) and called the teacher I work with most at my second high school. Actually, I couldn’t get signal so I had to drive a little to be able to make the call. The route to the school is mainly country road surrounded by trees and mountains. Finally, we were able to communicate and I told him what happened and asked what I should do. He actually had no idea and didn’t have much time to talk because of the morning meeting. He said I could take her to city hall. So I made my way to city hall. I carried her in as she cuddled me (the cat pee on my pants wasn’t actually visible anymore) and filled out some paperwork about when I found her. I waved goodbye to her and wished her good luck. I really had to go since I was late to work at that point.

When I got to school, the vice principal asked me where the kitten was. It seemed she wanted to see it. I wish I had just brought the kitten to school. When people see a kitten, they are more likely to feel sorry for it and maybe they would have actually helped me find a foster.

I got a change of clothes from the nurse and made my way to class. All day, my mind was on the kitten. What would happen to her? Did city hall feed her? Is she really going to be alright? I got to talk to my classes about finding her, and the teacher I had called that morning advised me to go get the kitten back. He said that it’s likely she will be killed. He actually said it this way, with the word “killed” because I doubt he knows the term “put down”. And after some research, I’ve realized that using the word “kill” is more accurate.

This information is quite sad and honestly put me into quite a depression. So read on at your own discretion.

Japanese pounds, called hokenjo - a misleading word that is translated in dictionaries as “health care center” - try to find homes for the pets in their care but after 7 days (or 2 weeks? I was told 2 weeks, but the internet says otherwise), the animals are killed in batches. They’re taken to a room called the “dream box” and gassed. The dog barks turn into whimpers, and then silence.

I was NOT going to let that happen to the precious little girl kitty I found on the road. She deserves to be cared for and to have a chance at life. I was seriously disturbed at the information I found. You can read more here : http://www.animalrightsforjapan.com/EN/index_en.php#?page=problem/petculling.php

So, I did what I had to do. There really was no way I wasn’t going back to city hall for that kitten. So I did. I picked her up after work and took her straight home. When I arrived at city hall, she was in a hard plastic pet carrier with a box over it, sitting on a stack of boxes in a random garage behind a car. As soon as I followed the worker outside to get her, I could hear her meowing. He put her in a cardboard box for me and I took her home. She meowed the whole way home.

I had Philip arrive at my place before me. He stayed with the kitten while I ran to the store for some kitten milk - which I bought after realizing that kittens can’t have cow milk. It’s a good thing that Google exists.

I grabbed necessities, too, like cat litter and a random plastic box to use as a litter box. I also needed something to drip the milk into the kitten’s mouth, and I hurriedly wandered around the store looking for drippers. I finally found some that were meant for ink (don’t worry, I got a real one the next day).

I rushed home and heated the milk in the microwave (after spilling some everywhere) and quickly fed the starving kitten. I knew she was super hungry because she kept climbing me and rubbing her mouth into my neck. She even tried to get down my shirt…

After I got her to eat, she was really happy. She fell asleep on my lap. She was so loving. The name came to me then - Ame. Ame with a downward inflection means “rain” but I was going for the upward inflection - “candy”. Because she was a sweetheart.

That night, a fellow ALT helped me bathe Ame. I’m really glad I had someone to help me do it, because Ame really needed the bath. She had fleas crawling all over her if you looked closely. We quickly figured out a good way to get them out and to die, which ended up being wet her with dish soap and water, then use tweezers to pick them out one by one. I think we got more than 50 off of her. That’s a lot for such a small animal. She didn’t like the water, but she needed the bath. I didn’t realize how dangerous fleas are to an animal. They actually feed on blood, and for a kitten that means they can suck the life right out of them. Ame may have already been dying when I found her. I have no idea when she had last eaten or if her mother deserted her or what.

I slept upstairs in my own room that night, but every night after I slept with Ame.( I often woke up with her laying on my pillow by my head, or under my blankets with me.)

The next day, I took Ame to the vet as soon as I was off of work. Since I live in the sticks in a town that has no money and a decreasing population, a trip to the vet meant a 45 minute drive north. Ame was in her box and eventually fell asleep. I had music on low.

I carried her into the vet without the box. She clung to me. We got signed in and she was put in a net laundry bag to prevent fleas spreading off of her (though all the fleas I saw after her bath were dead). Actually, I opened it and let her poke her body out. We waited for what was probably 30 minutes to be seen. It was busy that day. But Ame was really good. She stayed on my lap and eventually fell asleep again. She slept a lot those first few days.

In the consultation room, they took a look at her and began an eye/nose drop treatment. They made it look so easy to get those drops in her eyes and nose. They cleaned her ears for me, which Ame just HATED. She was in such distress over the discomfort. And her ears were SO dirty. It was unbelievable. So much brown gunk. It was during this that I began to get emotional. I was so glad that Ame was getting treatment and that she didn’t get run over by a car. Seeing her in her mild discomfort made me grateful that she didn’t get injured in the road. I was overcome with love for her. I wanted to protect her.

The vet gave her a flea treatment drop in her fur on the back of her neck. We left with her smelling like a hospital. It felt good. (Also, the vet fee was only about $50. Holy!)

So, I went home and for the next week I did nothing but spend time with that cat. I got her started on wet cat food, got her used to the litter box (and covered my entire living room floor of tatami mats in plastic), and almost got her to stop biting my toes. She made such good progress under my care. Giving her her eye/nose drops was the hardest part. She really didn’t like those… And the vet made it look so easy.

When we went back to the vet a week later, they asked me “Is she more energetic now?” And I laughed. She was running around my apartment, getting into places she shouldn’t be, waking me up with her paws on my face, attacking my feet, climbing my pants and sitting on my shoulder. She got so much better.

My search for a foster family started on Facebook with English speaking communities of JETs and NAVY families. No one wanted to take her. I did find a foster for her, but she wouldn’t be able to go until the 28th. And then I began to worry that she would be deserted if a foreign family moved back abroad.

I had to set my sights on Japanese websites. It took me a few days to get my post finalized - I had to work through Japanese and figure out what information I needed to offer. Also, the photos I had got better as the days went on, as Ame began to look healthier. I was worried that people wouldn’t want a sick cat. But eventually I got it all sorted and posted her on neko-jirushi.com. A day later, I got an application from a local woman. And in a couple days, I had to take Ame to her new owner.

Actually, the day I handed over Ame it was pouring down rain. Her name means candy, not rain, but that day it felt like a culmination of all the effort and love I put into her even though I couldn’t keep her. I wonder if her new family will still call her Ame since they got her on a rainy day.

I cried alot after I got home later. I’m glad I had Phil with me. I’ve honestly never felt any emotions like that before. I know that Ame is safe and being taken care of, but separating from her felt like a close family member died. It’s not grief, obviously, but it hurts similarly. Call it separation anxiety, if you want. Maybe that’s all it is. I needed an entire day to get the emotions to pass. The next day, I cleaned my floors and washed a lot of laundry to start getting the allergens out for Phil. I expected to be overwhelmed by emptying her litter box or washing her bowls. But I was pretty much fine.

So yeah. That’s the time I rescued a kitten in Japan. It was emotional and risky (my apartment doesn’t allow pets), but I know I’d do it again.

UPDATE: I e-mailed the lady who adopted Ame and asked if Ame had settled in. She said that she’s gotten used to her new home and plays with the kids and dog a lot. Also, they’re calling her Ame! I thought they might name her something else, but I guess since it was pouring that day they kept the name lol. Or, maybe the name just stuck with them. Here she is!

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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Fish bones

5/19 When I was a child, I would eat fish sticks with tartar sauce. The thought of that now is disgusting. When I was in junior high, I forced myself to try sushi at a buffet. It wasn’t bad. It still isn’t bad. I don’t turn down sushi nowadays, unless there’s fish eggs in it. And I’ve always liked tuna sandwiches. But the one thing I have never liked is grilled or fried fish. I steer clear of it here. I completely avoid other seafood like crab or shrimp (or squid, octopus, or any of those other weird sea creatures that are eaten here in Japan). Two days ago, I got a bento that I usually avoid ordering at my 2nd high school. They don’t provide details of what is in the bento, so I just avoided it. But I thought I’d give it a try. It had grilled fish in it. Okay, so I ate the fish - plucking the meat from the fins, skin and bones still attached. If I thought grilled fish was hard to stomach while it was already filleted, I had another thing coming. My first bite had a fair bit of bone in it, which I promptly removed from my mouth. Every bite afterwards was as free of bone as I could tell - which I thought meant completely free. But. I apparently did swallow a fish bone! Halfway through my lunch, I had this painful ache in my chest. I thought it was indigestion, and it partly was but the next day I went to the doctor who settled on it probably being a fish bone. He gave me stomach medicine and I’ve just started it today. Today is day 3 of pain. I don’t think I’ll really be eating fish again… I tried, you guys. I really did. The doctor had to explain to me how much of the fish was hard and not edible and I was just hysterically laughing on the inside. I told Phil that I’m part fish now. I’m a mermaid. Humor is the best medicine when you’re in pain - though, don’t laugh too hard…

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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My best friend visited my main school

When we arrived at school (20 mins early), we immediately ran into the vice principal. He helped us find the guest slippers for Amanda. I lent her some socks of mine (she only brought flip flops to Japan), but the slippers still were too spacious for her feet. She had a hell of a time getting up the stairs, because they kept slipping off. I slowed down and grinned at her because it was my first day here all over again! I dealt with them that day, too. Stairs were the worst.

She sat with me at my desk and participated in the morning meeting. I was asked to introduce her at the meeting and just did a short and simple intro of who she was. People were really interested in her. The art teacher even talked to her in English! I didn’t know he KNEW any english! Well, it was all greetings and small talk, but still, he remembered quite a bit.

We had 1st period with a 1st year class, and I did my short show and tell speech as an example for the students. They were going to write their own. I got to introduce Amanda. The kids were really just surprised and there wasn’t a super big reaction. The first class went really well. We had 2nd period free, so I let Amanda take a nap in the resting area room. She had been sleeping in all week, so waking up early was hard on her. I woke her up for 3rd period and we went and did the show and tell bit again. The second class was less responsive. They’re generally quieter than the other 1st year class.

The classes she came to weren’t particularly exciting because the students were just writing their show and tell speeches. So we just walked around and helped them spell things and helped them think of how to say what they want to in English. Amanda felt a little awkward looking over kids shoulders at their work because she said she didn’t like it when teachers did that to her at school.

After that class, we went upstairs and met the older students who know me better. They had a much bigger reaction to her presence. Some of them even called her by name!! They shouted “niteru!” at one point because they thought her and I look alike. The students called her “bijin” meaning “beautiful woman”. They also said she was cute. One boy walked beside her down the hallway for a bit before his friends made him stop and said he was being weird. I got a good laugh out of that. We met with some students that Phil had taught before and had a good little chat. Then for some reason they said their homeroom teacher looks like Baymax. I was just like “DUDE don’t say that!” Totally random.

After that, we went and ate our bento lunches in the breakroom. It was somewhat blah food, in my opinion, but Amanda seemed not to mind some of the food that I usually skip eating. Particularly the beans that had tiny fishes mixed in it. She said she missed American food (at this point she was gone for 2 weeks) and I just laughed…yeah, me too! I miss Mexican food so much!!!

So yeah, that was how Amanda’s visit to a Japanese high school went!

Did I mention that she got accepted to JET? She’s joining us in SAIKAI!!!!!!!!!! OMG

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saikaigigi · 7 years

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4/6 update

Last Friday, I visited the art club at my base school (it's technically still my base school until August!). There were 4 junior high students doing a kind of pressed print using plastic sheets they etched into. There was 1 high school girl in there quietly sketching, but I didn't bother her much. I kind of just showed up and was like "Whats that? And this? Who made this? Omg this is cool!" XD I went back on Monday with my drawing tablet like the art teacher asked me to, and I let the junior high girls try it out. They were amazed at how it worked. They had never seen something like it and the program was new to them, too. It was really cool to see them realize that this is how a lot of anime art is made. After I let them doodle for like an hour, I showed them how to draw a head from the base sketch - with the circle and forming the chin, placement of the eyes and nose, etc. They were really attentive and just letting it sink in. I was actually really nervous when I began drawing in front of them. It felt sort of like I was performing, and I was surprised at how it felt. My hand felt like I didn't have control. After a minute or so, this went away for the most part. I forgot my charger, so eventually the tablet died. I pulled out my sketchbook and let them look through that, and then I showed them how to draw a chibi. It's really funny, because I used to be really bad at chibi's. I'm realizing this week how much better I got at drawing anime style over the years. I even did a quick sketch re-draw of one of the very first drawings I did when I got a tablet in 2010 (was it 2010? I know I got one with graduation money and I graduated in 2009...hm well the drawing was from 2010 anyway). I finally went back to my 2nd high school this week and I discovered my schedule, plus a new JTE (Japanese teacher of English). They have me for 3 days a week starting this month, and each day I have at least 3 classes. On Wednesday, I have the first years with the new JTE. I'm kind of nervous because he's old and semi-retired, and all the teachers at the school dislike him already... I'll just be kind and do my best. So that school gave me 11 classes, and my base school gave me 10(3 of which are junior high classes). That's 21 classes a week. More than the JTEs have. So, that may change. I'm already stressed about it. I have a back ache and yesterday I had a headache. I hope this doesn't continue! I need to relax... There was a welcome party last night for the new teachers at my base school. It was pretty fun! The raffle seating sat me next to a front office worker who I thought disliked me, but shortly after the dinner started he said "You like Sailor Moon, right?" So I actually had a conversation with him for the first time. Sure, I've spoken to him before. He's the guy who came to fix some stuff in my apartment when I arrived. But it was always "What did you say?" from me, which may have been frustrating for him. At least, that's what I thought. Maybe he's just awkward. I dunno, but I found out his wife is Chinese and she also has an aversion to seafood, so he said he understands how I feel about it. He's the first Japanese person to kind of understand that about me. I grew up with no ocean around me, so naturally.... Actually, I have friends and family who like seafood. I dunno how that happened. Enlighten me! Yesterday at work, I met the new principal at my base school. He's fluent in English, and this took me by surprise. When he asked me where I was from I stuttered! lol During his introduction later at the welcome party, the vice principal revealed that the new principal was a bass player. I was surprised at that! There were chances for Q&A, so I asked him "What kind of music do you like?" To which he answered really well and I discovered he likes classic hard rock. Everyone who wasn't a JTE in the room was completely lost lol. But they were all pleasantly surprised when I raised my hand to ask a question. After that, he flagged me down and we talked a bit, and he wants to make a teacher band. I told him I'm in! I need to not use gestures when I talk to him, he doesn't need them. It's just become a habit lol Why do I always end up making music with old men? Speaking of music, I've been practicing my shinobue flute this week during the 50 minutes or so before my neighbor comes home. It's kind of confusing at times because the fingerings are completely different from concert flute. For starters, my left thumb and pinky aren't even used. And the right hand finger holes are supposed to be covered with the pad of your fingers, not your fingertips. This is really weird for me! But back to the fingerings - to play an A, the pattern is what a C is on concert flute. My brain gets so confused sometimes. Flats and sharps are played by only covering half of a hole on the flute. This is new to me. And high notes are easier than the low notes, at least for me. Anyway, I plan on practicing more. Last weekend, I went with Philip and his cousin to a small concert at a cafe in the mountains. It was really cool! The pianist was the same one I had seen perform at my 2nd high school back in November, which was a complete coincidence. He performed with 2 other musicians. One was the percussion, playing a drum and tapping his foot that had bells tied to it, and he sang. He also had a shinobue flute that he played a little :) The third musician was playing what sounded like a cello in ways, but was more Asian sounding. It had 2 strings and was played vertically, like a cello. But this wasn't all he did. He also did 2 tone harmonic throat singing. I was really confused because the harmonic sounded like a flute! But the other guys flute was on the floor! These people were really talented, and created great atmospheric music. Many people closed their eyes and enjoyed the music. I closed my eyes a little, too. The sakura are finally blooming here. I see them everywhere when I'm driving. But, I have to say - I can't really tell them apart from some plum trees. There was also a tree that I was told was actually an almond tree, but it had really pretty flowers that looked like my image of sakura. Actually, a lot of sakura around here are white. I'm a little disappointed when I see those. I want the pink ones!!

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saikaigigi · 8 years

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I had a very short update on my Facebook, but since there's NOTHING to do today at work (or for the rest of the week, for that matter), I figured I'd do an entry here. The weather hasn't really continued warming up that much. I'm still cold in the office and we still have the heater on (or the "stove" as they call it...). Warm coffee is a necessity to stay awake and keep warm. The coffee here isn't that great but I think I've gotten used to it and it isn't the worst thing anymore. The coffee at Pearson was still WAY WORSE. That stuff was poison. And yet, I still drank it...every day. We've been quite busy these days. I got to lead classes on my own for about 2 weeks. The end of the year was kind of "anything goes" in my first year classes. So I did a St. Patrick's Day presentation and a few activities that prompted the students to speak on their own - which was honestly the only time they could, since my JTE for that class isn't very creative and just went through the main dialogue of the chapter over and over until the class fell asleep (seriously, one day I stopped him and said - they're too sleepy to continue. Let's do a short activity to get them awake. We then played Simon Says for 2 minutes.) Anyway, my classes went amazing. We studied 2 songs together, described photos, did word jumbles and drew emotions. And all the students were engaged. My JTE was amazed. I was just like, well it makes sense. They are also all relaxed because they know that grading is over. Really, at this point of the year it's like anything goes. Now the students are on Spring break. I still have to come into work even though there aren't classes. It's whatever, I guess. At least I get paid to sit here and think about literally anything I want and type things like this. Last week, the transfer announcements were made. A few of the teachers I liked are moving to different schools. This happens once a year. The teachers who have only been here for a short time weren't really at risk of transfer, but those who were here for anywhere between 2 to 5 years got picked to move. I never really thought about how hard it would be to transfer because at home, there is such a clear line between work and home life. At 5 you leave and forget about work until the next day. And maybe you don't spend so much time with co-workers. Here, the teachers are assigned for a few years to a school who houses them in teacher housing, and the only people they know are the other teachers and the students. Those people become their life. Their friends. Some of these teachers already live apart from their spouses and children. Sometimes the transfers move them FURTHER away from them. I think it can be really hard to deal with. So I understand why there were so many tears at the goodbye ceremony. While I think it's good for the overall educational system to have an even division of teachers and experience, this is really hard on people. But they're used to it. It's just the way it is. And it will probably be this way for a very long time. Meanwhile in the States, you get teachers who have been there for 30 years who have lost passion because they aren't respected by students and they're just getting worn down. They don't like their co-workers or their students and have a hard time controlling their classrooms sometimes. At this point, I don't know whether or not the Japanese educational system is better or not. In ways, I think it is. But in other ways, everyone just works too freaking hard here! Like, after 5 PM GO HOME AND RELAX! Some of my teachers don't go home until 9PM every day. Like, why? They don't get paid overtime to be there, either! Huh, this became a ramble about education in Japan. Somehow. Recently, Philip and I have been getting out more. Last weekend we made it out to Arita with our friend who is in the Navy and stationed nearby. I have never seen so many pottery shops. It was insane. I definitely want to go back there and explore. We also visited a nice shrine and had a good talk with the priests there and they explained how to buy the fortunes (which had an English translation! They must get a lot of tourists). We talked a lot about how we came to Japan and the charms they were selling. The entrance to the temple was up a set of stairs with a train track at the top, then after you cross the train track you can enter the temple. I found it kind of strange. At the top, it just looks like there are train tracks and then an edge you could fall off of. Philip's cousin came to visit this week. He's a college student studying in Tokyo. He's super full of energy so this week is gonna be fun. We certainly had fun yesterday after we picked him up. We spent all afternoon in Sasebo looking around. I found a flute I had never heard of and decided to buy it. It was sort of an impulse buy, but it wasn't that expensive (until I decided to buy a book to learn with, then things got pricey...the book was more than the flute!). I discovered that I got like a learner's flute, and that these flutes come in bamboo. I really want a bamboo one!!! The flute is a shinobue and it's used in festivals. Also, it turns out that it's the mystery flute from Vampire Princess Miyu that I always loved!!! I may have downloaded that soundtrack when I got home...hehe We found a koto concert in the middle of the shopping strip, and the guy who runs the souvenir shop where I got all my souvenirs for family recognized our Navy friend and we got to clarify where his shop was so we could take another peek. We were met by his son on the corner where we needed to turn (he called him!!), and we were shown inside. We were able to ask questions and explore the shop. I asked about the flutes because I noticed they had more than before. Turns out that they now had the flute I had just bought at the other shop, but the real versions. The shop keeper let me try the flutes (which really surprised me!!!) and I discovered that the one I got was SUPER high pitched like a piccolo. I thought "Great, my neighbor will be so happy..." But actually, I'm thinking of practicing at the beach around the corner from my house. Anyway, I discovered that i LOVE the sound of the flute that has one less finger hole. It's such a nice sound that I can enjoy more by myself without killing anyone's eardrums. He offered to sell one to me for half price. I just could not believe that. Really. What?! I was ready to buy it right then and there! But he said I can take some time to get used to the instrument first. What a nice guy! Not like other sellers who are just like "BUY IT NOW". I truly felt cared for as a customer. They also gave us free plants! I was like Okay! Plants are cool! I'm actually terrible with plants. Philip got me an orchid on our first Valentine's Day and it just died. I got a small flower that was placed in a stone at the culture festival here back in November and I haven't watered it once. I think it might still be alive somehow, though. So...we'll see how long these guys last under my care! They also gave Philip a little squirrel because he asked how much it was and they just said "Please take it!" I think maybe no one was buying it lol. He gave it to me as a present. Oh, and the week before hand I got a deal on some Sailor Moon merchandise at this second hand store in Sasebo called Y.Y....something. Y.Y.Boueki I think? The guy there collects a lot of things, including American things, especially Star Wars. He even has autographed things on display. He let me take a picture with a rare Sailor Moon statue he had. I did make it to GU for the Sailor Moon collaboration, but things sold out VERY fast there and I couldn't choose exactly what I wanted beforehand. But I did get a good amount of things! 3 shirts and a Luna purse! I also decided to snag some pants because I needed some. I now own white pants and they frighten me (I'm going to stain them, I just know it...). also, I'm the biggest size there. That's just unreal. And actually, these pants are slipping a little now that I'm moving around a lot >.> But, I'm just saying, the range of body types here must not be large because if I'm the biggest size, I feel sorry for anyone bigger than me trying to shop for pants. Really. That must suck. I was going to wrap this up but I just remembered the enkai on Friday night that we had. We had a big going away dinner party for the leaving teachers. I had to eat fish and I'm starting not to look forward to the food at these gatherings because I have to force myself to eat a lot of things I don't like. I ate some sort of clam thing, I don't even know what it was. But it came in like a conk shell. Is that even what it's called? God, not growing up near the ocean has never been so apparent as it is now that I'm living by one. I don't know a lot of things about ocean life. Anyway, so each leaving teacher gave a speech and then other teachers would stand up and give a speech back. And it was nuts. They all did a Japanese cheer that I had never heard of. It was actually quite educational. And then the gym teacher who was basically the guy who kept order in this place with the kids, is leaving. So the other gym teacher gave the speech to him. But, not before stripping off his top first. Oh, boy. And then he stood there giving his speech topless and crying. And it was sort of charming to see two men who were such good friends have such a heart to heart moment. Even though one of them had stripped beforehand. XD We went to an after party at a VERY SMALL BAR near my apartment. It was so fun! There was karaoke and it was the most fun I've had with co-workers here. Everyone was singing and cheering and just being totally silly. It was really cool. I'm kind of disappointed that my base school is switching to my other high school now. I'll be there 3x a week. So I'm not as affected by the transfers as the other teachers, but I still feel kind of sad? I don't know the teachers at the other school as well, or the students. It's a bigger school. They're awesome, though. Full of energy and the students are generally pretty smart. Plus, there's a rock band club...so there's that. I think it'll be okay. WOW THIS WAS LONG BYE

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saikaigigi · 8 years

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saikaigigi · 8 years

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Base school? Also, the art teacher has SAILOR MOON connections???

I got confirmation today that my high schools are switching roles this school year (Japanese school year begins in April for those of you not in-the-know). My current base school has been in charge of the area ALT for...ever? 20 years or something? But my 2nd high school requested to be in charge of me - basically, they get me for the most days of the week. I’m still waiting to hear if I will continue at the junior high once a week.

With a base school change brings apartment changes. The base school is the one who gives you an apartment through the school. I have the option to move to a different apartment. Which kind of excites me, actually. But for now, I might stay at my current apartment until I have to go to my new base school more than 2x a week. My current base school has said I can stay :)

It’s finally a tad bit warmer than it was (except today felt oddly chilly to me). The sakura blossoms are supposed to bloom this week. I’ve really been looking forward to seeing them in person. It’s been a small dream of mine to see a real one.

So, I haven’t gotten to know any of my teachers SUPER well, and I am sometimes just quiet at my desk between classes. But last week, I was shredding some papers I no longer needed in the other half of the office (it’s connected by folding sliding door things), when the art teacher who sits across from me (and has the ENTIRE time I’ve been here, by the way...) asked me how I was doing. I took the opportunity to ask about some Ghibli exhibition leaflets that I saw on his desk a few days before. At some point I mentioned that I liked Gigi from Kiki’s Delivery Service and that he’s similar to Luna from Sailor Moon. And then this guy who I’ve sat a few feet from for -how long?- says that one of his old students he taught did backgrounds in Sailor Moon Crystal. All I could do was...stare at him...and just like tell him I couldn’t believe him and just MY BRAIN QUIT Backgrounds aren’t what I’m mainly interested in but maybe I could learn something from him! It’s really exciting to find out that there was a contact like that so close. So I have to go hang out in the art room sometime and pick his brain.

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saikaigigi · 8 years

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3rd Grader (senior) Farewell...Ceremony

It wasn’t actually called a ceremony. I don’t remember the Japanese at the moment though.

I didn’t have classes again today (surprise!). I was at my 2nd HS. In the morning, I gave some leftover prefectural interview tests and then I got to go see class 1-2 ( that’s first year, class number 2) bake cookies. I met the home economics teacher for the first time - I introduced myself to her and it turns out that we are there on opposite days of the week. She’s a nice woman and I think we’ll get along great. So far my buddies at my 2nd HS are 2 front office workers, a nice older woman my predecessor introduced me to (thank you!!) and middle aged guy. I also befriended the female gym teacher who came back to work a month or two ago. My JTEs are too busy to chat usually, but I try my best there - even in class, my main JTE is a busy body and the class is very active on his part. He gives the students all of his attention. I can barely flag him down sometimes for a fast question lol

I was feeling pretty static and like I just wanted the day to go by fast so I could go home. But at lunch, on my way back from Family Mart to grab some lunch food, some of my students who were walking there (I didn’t know they could leave during lunch?!) waved at me, and I thought “oh man, I’m a cool teacher! yeah!” lmao

It did help my mood though. I was sitting in my warm car (even though it’s not cold outside, the building is still very drafty. My toes get really cold), and then I heard a tap on my window. My front office buddy was there with a juice for me! I was kind of surprised, like uh ok hi, but last week when I talked to him I was still pretty low on energy and genki-ness. I felt really exhausted. So he was checking on me. When I went inside I decided to walk around and get another peek at the plum tree that was blossomed in the back behind the school. I ran into my other front office buddy, the older lady, and she asked me how I was because she saw me in my car. I guess they maybe thought I was sad? Which I mean, last week I was, but this week I just wanted to be in my warm car and eat my crappy lunch alone. But anyway, I got to meet the one special needs student and I got to see some of his drawings, so that was neat.

Randomly walking around school is good.

Anyway, the graduation ceremony is on Wednesday for both of my high schools. Today was practice for the singing portion. It was pretty boring, and I thought I was in for a whole afternoon of boring practice where my mind wandered and I stared at the clock.

I was so wrong! The school had a big celebration type of gathering that was not dissimilar to the culture festival. A student band played (they sounded like The Beatles!), there was a skit, there was live calligraphy with the giant brush mop (video linked), and some of the teachers did a performance as a band. I was so entertained! I felt so energized and just ready to do something, anything. There were videos of thanks and each senior got to make a small thank you speech as they received the cookies that the first years made for them.

When I got back to my office earlier in the day, I found that they had even given us teachers a cookie!

I felt that today was a big reminder of where I am, what I’m doing, and who I have a chance to meet. And also, that people care about each other. Such simple things, but sometimes simple things can just feel like concepts. It helps because I felt like I wasn’t making any friends, but I am. Even if they’re just at work, it really matters. It matters. And everything is fine. <3

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