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[sailorett]

The Struggle is .... anticipated

I’ve been out of the Navy for approximately 10 days. 7 of those days where hell on earth. I’m not afraid to admit that I am indeed human. The day I went on terminal leave I walked away from Walter Reed Medical Center knowing I would never be apart of the Pediatric unit again, never touch a patient and never be part of the same chain of command I was so accustomed to being part of. Your chain of command becomes your family in the Navy, so this was actually harder for me than I could have ever imagined.

After 5 years of working my butt off and being exhausted, but proud of all of the work I had put in, it was over in the blink of an eye. Just like that.  And though I will be a reservist, there is nothing like the thrill, routine and comradely of being an active duty sailor. My once very significant role in a team of caregiver had been reduced to nothing. 

I woke up the day after Veteran’s day at a friend’s house and realized that I was not needed that day. Not needed to manage sailors, not needed to place orders for medical supply, not needed to take patients and not really accountable to anyone. While I initially thought i would be happy and feel a sense of freedom, that was not what I felt. Waking up and realizing all of this, I felt a deep sadness and sense of regret. I spent the next 5 days crying and in and out of anxiety attacks. I was having a very hard time seeing the big picture. 

On Day 5, it was time for me to make a 4 hour drive back from my friend’s house in North Carolina. During the ride I prayed and worshipped the whole way and the helped, so much. God has always had a plan for my life, and me getting out of the Navy won't change that. I was glad that realization came that day.

The next day I woke up and went to Walter Reed to pick up my DD214. When the PS3 handed me my exiting documents I felt a sense of relief. I wasn’t expecting that, but I was happy that the sense of impending doom had gone somewhere else. 

I had lunch with one of my favorite co-workers and said goodbye. 

No matter how hard the transition I’m glad I’m making moves. 

Reserve/college life here I come!

Next stop .... Officer Recruiting :) ....Actually, Colorado first. I’ll let you know how the move goes. Thanks for reading.

[sailorett]

Missed a few beats

So, you may ask, why wait for the last 3 weeks of my active duty enlistment to start writing again? I don't have an answer for you. All I know is the closer I get to being home, the more the urge to write is returning. Kinda sucks that the motive hasn’t been there over the past 3  years, but I’ll take what I can get.

Here’s an update on my Navy career. I will be finishing up 5 years enlisted in active duty in approximately 4 weeks. I go on leave in 3 weeks. I’ve never in my life felt more like I was jumping off a cliff and just “hoping” that there will be a giant net there to catch me. Being in the military is like having mom and dad take care of you. You know if you are sick, get hit by a car, end up with cancer or just go insane....you’ll still get paid. Nothing more glorious than knowing your check will come on the 1st and the 15th of the month without fail.

I must admit, I wasn’t brave enough to completely cut the chord. I was accepted into the Navy Reserve. After 5 years as a Seabee/ Corpsman my blood runs absolutely blue and there’s not much I can do about it. The hooyah lives in me. I plan on finishing out 15 more years in the reserve. Hopefully, with any luck after completing my degree in communications and my nursing degree I can decide whether I want to be a public affairs officer or part of the Nurse Corps. For now, there is just a very long trip back to Colorado and the promise of a crazy amount of school in my future. 

I’ve really come to like the DMV (DC,Maryland,Virginia) area. It’s beautiful. It’s always super green during the spring and summer. The Cherry blossoms are such a treat and just breathtaking in the spring. It rains just enough for this pluviophile to be perfectly content. The nightlife is like the energizer bunny. It never stops and the area is super diverse. I will miss it immensely. I will not miss the traffic, however.

I am very excited to get back to Colorado as well. I’ve always felt like I just belonged there. I’m just hoping Colorado feels the same way. I remember going through crazy events and situations there and wondering why Denver didn't like me as much as I liked Denver. Hopefully that has changed with time. 

Time for a new chapter and this time, I swear I’ll write it in its entirety.

[sailorett]

The view from my window.

[sailorett]

What’s it like being a woman in the Navy? Challenging. Exciting. Rewarding. And above all –...

[sailorett]

This is how we live.....part 1

Here's how I'll be spending my weekends. This is where I live now. Welcome to Coronado, CA! 

[sailorett]

Boot camp

Sorry this entry is so delayed. I had such a hard time trying to figure out how to summarize bootcamp. It was such an impactful time in my life, so I’d hate to leave out any important details. Earlier this month, I wrote a letter to some members at my church….i decided it was the perfect blog entry. From the heart.

When I first got to Bootcamp I was sleep deprived and one of the RDC (navy version of drill sergeant) was yelling at me while I was trying to figure out what to send home. I was so nervous, I accidentally threw my primary address book in the box I was sending home, leaving me with  couple of addresses and no phone numbers:( unfortunately, reaching most people became quite impossible.

  Bootcamp was the most challenging 7 weeks of my life. I’m glad I did it, but no one could offer me ANYTHING to do it again. 

Straight off the plane the challenge begun. They proceeded to yell at us all the way through the entry process, while keeping us awake for the next 24 hours. Keep in mind, we had already been awake  for 20 hours already. If we would start to nod off we would get yelled at and told to stand at attention for the next hour. 

For the first week and a half, my shipmates and I had no identity. The RDCs  addressed us by calling us “Female.” I’d never felt so worthless in my life. Bootcamp felt like an altar universe. It was like a  ”Divergeant” senario. I just had to keep telling myself it wasn’t real. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how I could have just been in a place in my life with so much love and support only to be placed in an environment where I was told not to think for myself because I new NOTHING and I wasn’t allowed to touch anyone around me. (Yes, hugs were out of the question…no high fives allowed either.)

I slept in a huge compartment room with 79 other women, and there was never a shortage of cat fights.

We were rarely allowed to talk to each other. We couldn’t even talk during meals.

There were days that I was so depressed and wondered how I could have ever chosen this life for myself. During the 7 weeks I was in Bootcamp, I received 9 shots, had blood drawn, had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled, had been dropped for something someone else did nearly every other day, had been forced to run till I was almost sure I was going to pass out and had been tear gassed. I can’t lie. It got to a point where I was scared to wake up each day, because I knew they were going to cause me pain in one way or another each day. We had to sit on the floor crossed legged at all times unless eating.  Sitting cross legged that much makes you start to ache everywhere. 

After 2 weeks the RDCs  attempted using my last name. After massacre after massacre,  a few of them got it, except one chief in particular who had me pronounce my last name and thought “Akinyemi ” sounded like “Nicki Nicki” so I became Seaman Recruit Nicki Nicki from there on out.   There were certain things in NAVY bootcamp that cracked me up. One of them being the signs all over the was reading ” The use of profanity is not quality leadership.” Well, sailors do cuss like sailors so the instrutors would always start the class apologizing for not obeying the rule.  

As awful as this all sounds, as time went on, things did get easier. When I first started, PT  (Physical training) was my worst nightmare. I had be anxiety about it before every session. After awhile, I just excepted that it was something I would have to do, so I needed to get over it and push myself. The RDCs  really didn’t yell at me after week 2. I stayed quiet and did what I was told. It was actually quite simple. Once, I got into the routine I new how to do everything, by the book. It was nearly impossible to mess up. And if you did mess up a ship mate would make sure they  helped you or fixed your mistake or we’d all get dropped for it.

 Keep in mind, although bootcamp is entirely real, the instructors are human too. Every once in awhile you’d see an RDC yell at one of us and then try not to laugh. Im sure after getting to know each and every one of us as people and not as recruits, it may be hard to play the role of the adult disiplinarian.  

My faith in God is what got me through it. On days when I wanted to give  up, I just had to remember that God would not have put me here if he didn’t think I could do it.

I made some great friends here. The team work aspect is definitely a way of life now. Shipmates before self. I’ve learned that I tend to run away from my fears instead of facing them. I was forced to face my fears here and for that I’m stronger mentally…and physically. Running still kicks my butt, but I made the cut, so that was pretty much a miracle. I’ve learned how to shoot a gun, rescue someone from a fire, keep a ship from flooding and outrun a terrorist. I say the mission has been accomplished. 

I graduated boot camp last week. I am now in A-school,  located right across the street from boot camp. It’s so much more relaxed here. Im having so much fun now.My roomates are great and I have so much more freedom.There’s still so many rules, but they’re less detailed. No alcohol, no civilian clothes, no putting your hands in your pockets, 10 pm curfew, and I can’t go anywhere without two other people. Some of the rules are a bit silly, but they work.

[sailorett]

Well that blows :(

[sailorett]

[sailorett]

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Hillsong United - with Lyrics Through all this, he will stand with me. God is my anchor, and for this I am grateful.

[sailorett]

Watch Jessica Williams of The Daily Show educate the white masses about the realities of our hair.

My hair may be a problem :/ Guess I'm getting my hair relaxed today.

[sailorett]

[sailorett]

How are you feeling?

Now, for the question of the month.

"How are you feeling about what is about to happen?"

With all the upcoming going away parties and last goodbyes ahead of me I’m overwhelmed with a whole array of different feelings. Back in 2007, I traveled the world with Up With People. I was gone from Denver for a total of a year. That being said, when I did come back, life was completely different. As important as I feel like I am, (Leo Mentality) life will go on without me. This is the hardest part for me to grasp. The reality of the Navy is slowly creeping up on me and the realization that I’m leaving in exactly 3 weeks botched me upside the head today. Emotions are settling in and I am already missing my wonderful friends and family. I have such a great support system here in Denver. Seems to me I’ve lived quite a comfortable life here in Denver, despite some financial fall backs.

I won’t lie. I’m scared shitless. Boot camp. That’s coming. If you know me well enough, you know that I’m a tough girl, yet a very girlie girl. Working on my fitness and endurance has been hard for me thus far. I know it is a challenge I will have to face. I’m still not sure if I’m ready. Regardless, I will fight through it and be a better person for it.

I’m excited to travel and do new things. I want to learn skills and subjects I never thought I would. I’m excited for adventure. I don’t know where this journey will lead me, but I’m convinced that it will change me for the better.

What happens now?….

In the next couple weeks. I will be called into the navel office for little task like drug test and weigh ins.

September 15th, I will check into my hotel room, eat dinner and go to bed. Only to be woken up at 4 am to eat breakfast and take a bus to the (MEPS) Medical Processing Station. There I will have a full body check up. After that I will be cleared to leave, I’ll head to the airport.

Late that day I will arrive in Great Lakes, Illinois, my home for the next 9 weeks. Upon arrival. I will call my parents and let them know I made it safely, then my favorite part….I forfeit my phone to the naval officers. No more e-mail, facebook, texting, phone calls or any type of modern communication for the next 9 weeks.

And my clothes. I’m no longer a civilian. Those will have to go. I’ll pick out Navy clothes, shoes , underwear…you get the point. No more fabulous, fashionista Fola!

For 9 weeks, I will write my letters long hand. I do not have an address for everyone, but if you give me yours, I will write you and make sure you get it.

This may be my last post till after boot camp, so “Bon Voyage. my friends! I will miss you dearly. “

I If you want to send me your address, you can do so at : itsmefola@gmail.com

[sailorett]

[sailorett]

[sailorett]

On the eve of her promotion, the highest ranking woman in Naval history spoke with Forbes about innovative teams, how to help employees stay committed, and what she's learned from a caffeine habit.

[sailorett]