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[sakhinahowlader]

Kindship diagram of my family 😅😅

My dad has 5 brothers and 2 sisters making them a total of 8 kids, and my mom 6 sisters and 4 brothers making them a total of 11 kids. As per their information, they would have been more, but due to miscarriages, this is how many they were blessed with. ❤️

#soc3 #kindship #diagram

[sakhinahowlader]

Is it just 4 or are there more?

Kinship is a culture's arrangement of perceived family roles and connections that characterize the commitments, rights, and limits of communication among the individuals from a self-perceiving gathering. Kinship and family ties might be characterized through hereditary connections, selection, or other ritualized conduct, for example, marriage and family economies. Kinship frameworks go in size from a solitary, family unit to ancestral or intertribal connections. Kinship can be added when a new addition to the family is introduced. Social attitudes toward marriage between first cousins is a case of a culturally built connection and family standard, with cousin marriage thought about alluring in certain societies, however denied as incest by others.

If you think about immediate family then my family is really small. It consists of my two loving and amazing parents, and my brother. My brother is a year younger than me, but we’re really close. But if you extend from that, then I have a huge family. In my mom’s side i have 6 aunts and 4 uncles who are all married. In bengali, we have a way to know if the uncle or aunt we’re talking about is either the mom’s side or dad’s. The aunts on my moms side are khalas and the uncles are known as mamas. Of course, their wives and husbands cannot be discluded, so the aunts husbands are khalus and the wives of my uncles are known as mamis. Usually we use their first name and the pretext to call them. As for my cousins, there is a total of 15 cousins and 1 nephew. Everyone in my moms family is pretty young, so unfortunately no extra nieces and nephews yet. On the other hand, for my dad’s sisters, we call them fupis and their husbands fupas, the uncles are called kakas and their wives are kakis. This is a form of respect, ofcourse, otherwise we can just say their name and say aunti last, but this is our culture. My dad has 2 sisters and 5 brothers. From my dad’s side, I have 19 cousins and 16 nieces and nephews. Part of this reason is because my dad’s siblings married pretty early at the age of 17-18.

My mom’s family is very different from my dad’s, I would say more educational and strict. And my dad’s side is a bit artistic. Ever since I was little, I would always get lectured from my mom’s siblings; my aunts and uncles that I need to study hard and do my best. Imagine having that type of pressure at the age of 9. It's pretty crazy. Likewise, the paternal side of my family was also strict but they didn’t pressurize the living life out of me. I am actually glad I get both of their qualities, because I think it shaped me to be who I am today. I have a pretty wild and adventurous life. My family from both sides live in Bangladesh, and a few around the states. But getting back to bangladesh, everytime I went to visit, me and my brother would have a blast. Everyone would take off from their work, and we all would go visit tea gardens or beaches, and mosques. I love mosques, especially old runes. Consider it a tradition or a family thing, but this is something my family and I always do. Half the trip with my moms side and half the trip with my dads side.

Traditions are what we consider as beliefs or customs that are important in families. Traditions keep the memories alive since it is passed on through family to family and generations. It is an aspect of family. I know of many traditions within my family that have been going on for generations. One tradition I know of that has been passed on from my dad's side is once or twice every year they go to schools in Bangladesh and give them money and hope for tournaments just for the fun of that day. My dad explains to me how this was important to him and his family because they really want education to be number 1 in bangladesh. And most cities or villages do not have a way of education. With the money the school creates new places of education that allows children to come and learn, sometimes their organization sends teachers in groups to different villages to teach. A tradition that my mom’s family has passed on to me is telling stories. These stories are not fiction or fantasies, but stories from when my mom was young. My grandfather died a week after I was born, and sadly to say I never got to know what an amazing person he was. My mom's family would tell me and my brother a lot of stories about my grandparents. I loved when my grandmother would tell a story, since she used the moment to rat out all of her kids. This would happen every week on a friday. It was the last day of school for the week and I would always be eager, and enthusiastic to know the new tea. Sometimes we would be on a call which was the funniest part because some aunts and uncles would scream “NOO don’t tell them that.” I remember that would provoke my grandmother or mother to tell the story. I like living with their memories, because I know one day my memories are all that I will have. Additionally, a tradition in both households is when we hold a milad for my dead grandparents. A milad is sort of a feast for the dead. Every year on the day when either grandparents died, my parents would send food to the mosque, in return they would pray for my dead grandparents and their childrens and family members. Not just my parents, my uncles and aunts from both sides would partake in this tradition. From doing this, we bless their soul and receive duas ourselves. “Dua” means an appeal or invocation which is asked during prayer.

In conclusion, kindships aren't a thing without family, and nor is family really a family without traditions, customs and other rituals. There may be love, but only those can bring that bond to a family. Traditions bring families together, some by force, some on its own. Some learn it the easy way, and for some it takes years to realize what family really means. Kindships have their own way of binding people together.

#soc3 #kindship #traditions #p4

[sakhinahowlader]

Every Muslim must follow all five pillers, and a sweetner we also should complete the Quran which is our sacred book like the Bible is for Christians and Tanakh for Jewish and on going. The Quran consists of 604 pages. It’s also a good thing, maybe a blessing if you can complete it more than once 😇 which you should !!! Lol

To add on to my portfolio I would like to show you a visual explanation of P4 the photo below shows the 5 pillars we talk about. Hope it makes things clearer

@soc3-social-inquiry

[sakhinahowlader]

A Bangladeshi Muslim Wedding

In this culture, there are two ways to get married. Either your families arrange the marriage for you, or you find someone and introduce them to your and their family. During an arranged marriage, the match is fixed by the ghotoks (matchmaker), who matches a woman and a man according to their similarities and families background, like where the family is from, and how they are. The process of a wedding in a bangladeshi muslim culture is the same whether arranged or otherwise.

The first part of the wedding is the engagement. In the engagement, both sides of the families bless the bride and groom. Blessing is called Ashirbaad. The bride and the groom exchange rings and other gifts to show love, support, and give Ashirbaad. The next process of the wedding is the “gaye holud.” It’s the day the bride gets all her wedding essentials, which includes her bridal dress (saari), jewelry, shoes as well as other gifts. The groom’s family and friends officially hand-deliver the bride’s wedding essentials as well as presents for the bride’s family. In traditions, the brides saari is chosen by the mother-in-law. But in modern day, it can also be chosen by the groom, or even the bride herself. On the “Gaye holud” day, the bride is blessed by the guest by having applied a yellow paste on her face and body. The groom also goes through this process with his family. The paste is made out of turmeric powder, they also apply milk or water. The reason why this is done is because both the groom and bride are being cleansed before they become each other and on a new journey. Both the body and soul are being purified to take on the next step of their life. The bride also gets her henna done. Henna or Mehndi is a dye prepared from the plant Lawsonia inermis. Mehndi ceremonies are held the night before the wedding as a way of wishing the bride. In some funny aspects, the haldi and mehendi ceremony is to beautify the bride and groom for their first night together.

The next part of the wedding is the main which is the “biye” or in arabic is known as “nikkah”. The bride and groom has to sit in different areas and read their wedding bows seperately, in front of an Iman (muslim priest). After the bride and groom are officially married, the newlyweds are seated together for the first time as man and wife, and traditions within the family take place. The groom and bride exchange a drink in the same glass, they exchange flower garlands, feed each other sweets, also the friends and family feed the groom and bride sweets and drinks from their hand as a way of blessing the newly weds. One of the most fun activities is when the groom's family is standing in front of the entrance of the wedding venue and the groom has to pay an amount before entering the place. This tradition happens since the bride's side is giving away their bride, the groom has to pay to get in. Another fun activity that takes place is when the bride's family steals/hides the groom's shoes (joota chupai). The groom's side of the family either has to find the shoes or pay up to the bride's family. The game of the Joota Chupai is supposed to indicate the acceptance and open hearts of both sides of the family and the way they are willing and prepared to share a lifetime of laughter and fun together.

During the Nikkah process, the groom went over to the bride and was acquainted with all of her families and friends. Now the groom’s side is left to be introduced to the bride. This is called Boubhath or Walima. The bride and the groom go to the groom’s place where all of the groom’s family members, friends and relatives are. They get ready to be introduced to the bride. Celebration takes place with food, dancing, singing, and other fun activities in honor of the newlyweds. The purpose of the Boubhath is to welcome the bride into the groom's house and into the arms of the family with love. In some traditions, the bride and groom has to be seated on the floor, in front of them is a big bowl of milk water with flowers and other items placed in. This ritual initiates that the groom and bride has to place their rings inside the bowl of milk water and the mother-in-law will mix up the rings inside the bowl. Then, the groom and bride will place their hands inside the bowl and find the opposite person's ring. The groom has to find the brides and vise versa. This game is called fishing the ring. Although this game was originally started in India, many cultures follow up with this game since it shows perseverance, love, and willingness to new surroundings, and because it's fun.

In conclusion, the bangladeshi muslim wedding all together is a four day function. Sometimes it can be less than 4 days or more than 4 days depending on the distance the groom is from the bride, or the venue. But regardless, weddings are a beautiful, big step to a new life. Being willing to go through with the wedding, sharing everything with someone else, shows that the couple is ready for their new journey, has confidence in themselves, and loves each other very much. Moreover, there are many more reasons for a wedding besides the ones written.

#soc3 #wedding #p3

[sakhinahowlader]

4. Boubhaat 😳 strangerssss all ovaaaa *awkkkward*

[sakhinahowlader]

3. Biye; nikkah; wedding

Groom “what have I gotten myself into” “I’m broke and about to be homeless”

[sakhinahowlader]

2. Haldi and mehendi ceremony

Bride “y’all tryna make me look like a Simpson with all the tumeric”

[sakhinahowlader]

1. Engagement

“From this point on, I’m yours and your mine” ❤️

[sakhinahowlader]

Muslim Bangladesh wedding rituals

1. Engagment (typically done in the brides house but if families rich and fancy they’ll book a venue) 🤪

2. Haldi and mehendi ceremony (Haldi means tumeric; bride brides throws one from their bride and groom sides throws for groom) ☺️

3. Biye, nikkah or wedding (so if the family is like really religious, they will hold the event at a mosque (masjid) Muslim prayer house, but if not than it’s either done at the brides house or again if the family is rich and fancy, a venue is booked) 🤣

Of course in any wedding a document is signed by both as Proof of their marriage.

4. Boubhaat (the bride goes to the grooms house for the first time and everyone of the grooms side gets to see her and be introduced)

( can be done at the house or a venue) *chaaa chinggg* 💰

The end!!!

Everyone’s tired and desi weddings are the BEST!!!

#soc3 #wedding

[sakhinahowlader]

Amar sonar Bangla (my beloved Bangla)

Language is a very important essential in one's society. A language defines a person's culture, ideals, and the moral values. My parents' language is bangla. It is the first language they were brought up in, and the first they grew up to alongside English. Immigrating from Bangladesh to New York City was a big step for both of my parents. Since my dad knew relatives in NYC, it was really easy for them to get adjusted to their new surroundings. But it was a little difficult for my mom since all of her friends were back in Bangladesh and in a Bangladeshi community, you can know people and talk and be okay friends with them but it's not easy to be cool with each other although there is always back talking.

Language is always important for my parents, and they made sure I was aware of it. When I turned 4 my parents took me and my brother to Bangladesh to learn and be close to our language and culture. I was in Bangladesh for a year and I learned a lot about Bangladesh and its historical background. I even learned to speak, read, and write in bangla. My mom said me and my brother were quick learners. When we came back from Bangladesh, keeping up with English and still having Bangla in my memory was difficult. Soon enough I lost my skills in reading and writing in bangla, but since my mom would always speak bangla with me, that part was still here. I didn’t know how important our language, our culture was till I got into high school.

I got introduced with international culture day where everyone would bring things that represented their culture and where they are from. This has made a huge impact on me because I started to learn about how culture and language are important to someone. I also discovered many different languages associated with different cultural backgrounds. But what really drew me was my own culture and the beauty of it. I started learning things about my culture that I was never aware about. When you are in highschool, it is very difficult to associate with people since mostly everyone wants to be popular and fit in instead of interacting and making friends. Luckly, my highschool experience was not at all like that. A highschool where all cultures were welcome, and each culture was aware of the other culture. I joined the culture club and pretty soon, every end of the semester a party was organized. A party that allowed people to be aware of different cultures and taste their food, learn a bit about their language and country.

Along with the language, my religion had a major impact during highschool. Being a muslim american is another contribution. You can be judged by muslims for having one type of mindset, and you can be judged by people in general for having another type of mindset. Muslims females are known for wearing hijabs (head scarfs), burka (a garment to cover a woman's body head to toe), and males to wear thobes (long robes), and taqiyah (rounded head cap). But not all muslims are the same. Some don’t wear hijab, some don’t wear a thode or a taqiyah. In highschool, we had different types of muslims, some close to religion and some not and those who were exploring their life. Some people were well connected with others and those who were bullied and were bullys to others. But at the end of the day, everyone has the same religion or not learned to get together and just be friends, if not acquaintances.

Lastly, being a part of a culture while being a first generation American can be pretty eye opening. You can be in the middle, where you are a bit of both, close to your culture but not 100% and living in an area where everyone is not the same. Negative words are bound to be placed in effect. Eyes can wonder, attitudes and words can travel. Living in these areas kind of erodes one's mindset and allows them to lose their confidence. It is not easy at first, but through thick and thin, we all learn to cope with different situations being thrown at us. Whether it's education, relationships, or even own mental problems, we learn to deal with problems swiftly, with friends and family and loved ones.

আমার (my) নাম (name) সাকিনা (sakhina) হাওলাদার (howlader) - since “is” is an indicative there’s no use of it, it’s well translated.

These are the Bangla alphabets.

And the lyrics pictures are of course a whole song dedicated to the language and the country by a legendary artist Rabindranath Tagore

#soc3 #p2d1

[sakhinahowlader]

YLC (Youth Leadership Council)

Youth Leadership Councils (YLCs) allow young people to address policies and practices that shape the lives of New Yorkers. YLCs are hosted by City agencies, schools, and community organizations. Youth gain community service hours, an understanding of how the City works, and personal and professional skills.

My experience with the YLC started out with a leadership class. This leadership class consisted of ways we high schoolers can be young leaders for the future. The class started out as an elective and I chose to participate because I wanted to partake in the activities going on in the school. I really wanted to be in this class because I wanted to be more of a people person. Even though I had friends, I wasn’t a social person. I have learned a lot about people and skills that make us different from one another. I was also taught how we can be better leaders for ourselves, others and how we can persuade our teachings to be carried to by other people so that they can be leaders too. “To be about the people, you must be about yourself.” What it means is that, to understand others, first you must know and understand yourselves. After I was an ongoing leader, during my second semester of my last year, a police officer came to our class.

Ms. Gina Ernandez, the most outspoken, fun, officer I ever met. Ms. Gina’s purpose was to accomplish being a leader in a police academy. The adventures began with four young leaders and a police officer going to meetings at police academies to see how the police force is and what they do in their daily lives. Then, we went to meetings that dealt with teens and education. In the YLC meetings, we engaged in many fun activities creating a cartoon of good and bad behaviors, playing roles of teacher versus students, and having debates on what is good education and what is not. The YLC was a great experience for me because we learned to build on school education, and the types of etiquettes that many schools did and did not have. For example, some schools do not have strict discipline and yet some do. For some schools detention means to sit in a classroom for an hour, but for other schools detention is just a word and if gotten 3 times, equals to suspension that is put on a record.

These YLC meetings have shaped me to be the young leader I am today. I learned a lot about my school and its actions too. Additionally, the meetings were also for adults to be aware of their children’s place of education and their children’s future. The parents also had good ideas on how to make schools more efficient and better for young children and teens to keep on educating themselves. This is the point of YLCs. They help communities to have a stable and happy environment. The better the environment, the happier the people.

Ms. Gina is the officer is blue❤️

#soc3

[sakhinahowlader]

Queens as in royalty?

Being born and raised in Queens is a whole vibe. It’s the perfect balance of Excitement and peace. Where you can always find exciting things going on and something to do, it is also easy to escape. Queens is the most diverse borough out of all the boroughs. You have people from different countries , ethnicities, and groups. In my opinion, I never really thought about what it is like living in queens. Living in a place, one wouldn’t think about why they’re living there or what they like about the place. And being muslim, there isn’t much change either. Since Queens is such a mixed place, everyone is accepted and we all get along. There is no religion or racial discrimination where I live.

Being a muslim in nyc, we need mosques relatively all the time. The greatest thing about living in queens is that there are many mosques. A mosque of masjid is the islamic house of prayer, like the church is to christians and temple to hindus, and a Synagogue to a jewish. Ramadan in queens is the most magical place ever. Ramadan is the 9th holy month of the islamic calendar of spiritual fasts. During Ramadan, muslims fasts, pray, and allow a chance for themselves to be in self control and prove their dedication to their faith. All the muslims come together in a mosque, share food, give alms, and of course my favorite, pray together. I don’t think I can ever replace Ramadan with any other. The best part is also Eid which takes place after Ramadan. Everyone gets up early for eid prayer. After the prayer, comes feasting. Food is cooked in every house. Families and relatives visit and share hugs, and blessings.

Queens is the most fun place ever. There are many landmarks one can visit when they're in queens. My favorites are cemeteries. It is a bit weird to be choosing a fearing death place. But my reason is because it's calming. I like visiting the graveyards and offering my condolences to the dead, if I were to put it in a way. My most favorite place is the calvary cemetery. It is a Roman Chatholic a cemetery. To my knowledge, more than 3 million people are buried at that cemetary. Another favorite landmark of mine that is resided in queens is Socrates sculpture park. It is the most beautiful place in queens. It is a park that consists of many sculptures and statues. Many people knew Socrates, a greek philosopher who was known for his knowledge, and who was dedicated to his morals and beliefs. Besides landmarks, there are great restaurants in queens, sea sides, parks, and many more. Queens will never bore you out.

#soc3 #P1D1

[sakhinahowlader]

Soc3 Bride Notes!

Our bride is Leila! A Palestinian gal who has a drive and love for her passions in life (karate and violin, more on that later)! Her passion is her “thing” and she lights up talking about it, but also is a wonderful listener for her partner. She is driven in her passion, but incredibly supportive of her partner! She is open minded and believes in open communication, honesty, loyalty, trust, but still has a good sense of humor. She is family oriented and has similiar views to her partner, but isn’t afraid to challenge him in an open, healthy conversarion should disagreements arise.

Her parents are a doctor and lawyer and she has a well connected brother on Wall Street. Her family is incredibly loving and supportive, which makes good prospects for her partner in terms of in-laws!

Her passions include violin and karate. She has a black belt and teaches, too, in the local studio! She knows how to cook and knows basic car maintenance. She likes camping and knows how to start a fire. When her and her brother were kids they’d play soccer, giving her a general interest in athletics and fitness outside of karate, including soccer and dancing (that helps with karate form)! She is not afraid to get her hands dirty! She likes pets, too, having grown up in a family with dogs.

She also has good hygiene ;)

[sakhinahowlader]

Soc 3 bridal notes

Our bride is Leila! A Palestinian gal who has a drive and love for her passions in life (karate and violin, more on that later)! Her passion is her "thing" and she lights up talking about it, but also is a wonderful listener for her partner. She is driven in her passion, but incredibly supportive of her partner! She is open minded and believes in open communication, honesty, loyalty, trust, but still has a good sense of humor. She is family oriented and has similiar views to her partner, but isn't afraid to challenge him in an open, healthy conversarion should disagreements arise.

Her parents are a doctor and lawyer and she has a well connected brother on Wall Street. Her family is incredibly loving and supportive, which makes good prospects for her partner in terms of in-laws!

Her passions include violin and karate. She has a black belt and teaches, too, in the local studio! She knows how to cook and knows basic car maintenance. She likes camping and knows how to start a fire. When her and her brother were kids they'd play soccer, giving her a general interest in athletics and fitness outside of karate, including soccer and dancing (that helps with karate form)! She is not afraid to get her hands dirty! She likes pets, too, having grown up in a family with dogs.

She also has good hygiene ;)

#repost #soc3 #wedding #extracredit