sakurareaper101 - Tumblr blog

sakurareaper101 · 4 years ago

Text

More dirty pick up linesss

You’ve been a bad. Go to my room

Hi, I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head

The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to your place and spread the word

Your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice

If you don’t want to have kids with me, then why don’t we just practice

Do you know what would look good on you? Me

Sit on my lap and tell me the first thing that pops up

Did you fart because you blew me away

Do you know karate because your body is kickin

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged

Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever seen

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on

You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle

You’re like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package

I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!

Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!

Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend

You’re so hot, that when I look at you I get a tan

You look so sweet you’re giving’ me a toothache

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only TEN I see

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged

You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

I bet you $40 you’re gonna turn me down

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor

Let’s go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply

Wanna play war? I’ll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

If I told you I had a 2-inch dick would you fuck me? (No) Good, because mine is 8 inches.

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas

I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK…

Hey I’m looking for a treasure, Can I look around your chest?

Are you gay? (No) Wow, me neither, let’s have sex

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh

Let us let only latex stand between our love

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit

Hey baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited

Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven’t got any, how about a cock?

(Look down at your crotch) It’s not just going to suck itself

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under

Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.

Do you believe in free love? (No) Then how much for a blowjob?

Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it

Do you live on a chicken farm? (No) You sure know how to raise cocks

That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on

Hi, I’m the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?

I’ve just moved you to the top of my ‘to do’ list

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? (No) Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I

Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down

#Dirty pick up lines part 2

56 notes · View notes

sakurareaper101 · 4 years ago

Text

121 Dirty pickup lines

You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.

They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

Are you an eco-friendly kind of person? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?

I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.

Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.

Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place, please?

Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.

Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!

I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.

Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.

Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty.

Are you undressing me with your eyes?!

Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.

Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

I lost my keys… can I check your pants?

Did you know my lips are like Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?

Do I have to sign for your package?

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.

Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?

Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.

You look great right now. Do you know what else would look great on you? Me!

With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.

Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine.

Do you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.

Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging you.

What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.

That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.

If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

We were both born without clothes.

I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex.

I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you instead?

I don’t think I want babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby-making technique with you.

You know what winks and then screws like a tiger? (Wink)

My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and save me?

Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.

Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.

If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.

Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.

Dinner first, or can we go straight for dessert?

I was feeling very off today, but then you turned me on.

Does your name start with “C” because I can “C” us getting down.

I’m having trouble sleeping by myself. Can you sleep with me?

This might seem corny, but you’re making me horny.

Want to save water by showering together?

I’m an adventurer and I want to explore you.

Want to go half on a baby?

Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

Are you a supermarket sample? Because I want to taste you again and again without any sense of shame.

Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.

Are you Dracula? You looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.

Don’t ever change. Just get naked.

I’m just like a pore strip. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do.

You are so selfish. You’re going to have that body for the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

If your upper lip is Christmas and your lower lip is Thanksgiving, can I come visit some time in between?

Did you send the invitation to the party between your legs by mail, or do you wanna give it to me in person?

If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.

Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

Let only latex stand between our love.

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?

Can I borrow your lips?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m coming home with you.

There must be a light switch on my forehead because every time I see you, you turn me on!

So as long as we’re in the theatre… why don’t we get some play?

That shirt looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.

Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s Kisses out of business.

Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo-choo.

If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

Someone should call the police because you just stole my heart!

Did you get those pants for 50 percent off? They’re 100 percent off at my place.

Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%.

I find your lack of nudity disturbing.

Are you a raisin? Cause you’re raising my hopes for a kiss right about now.

I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

I’d love to be the devil on your shoulder and the devil on your lips.

Complete this sentence: “You, me, and ____.”

Did you hear that new Cardi B song? Want me to sing it to you?

In the words of the great Lizzo, I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% your base.

Did you make Santa’s naughty list this year? You want to?

Want to spin my dreidels?

I got Hanukkah gelt in my pockets. Do you want to go get them?

You’re like my menorah’s candles… getting hotter every day.

Wanna go light my menorah?

Much like Santa, I also have a gift for you in my sleigh.

Is your name Clause, cause you got Mrs. written all over you.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.

I’m not a dentist, but I bet I could give you a filling.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a large bone for you to examine.

Aside from being extremely sexy, what else do you do for a living?

I must be a beaver because I’m dying for your wood.

If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

I have 206 bones in my body. Want to give me another one?

Hey, do you have an inhaler? ‘Cause I heard you got that ass, ma!

You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.

I may not go down in history, but I will go down on you.

Your clothes look so uncomfortable. Why don’t you let me help you take them off?

I wish you were here to play ‘Simon Says’ with me… in bed.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!

Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.

Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

If you were mine, i'd treat you like homework. I'd slam you on the desk and do you all night.

#121 pickup lines #dirty #genderneutral

26 notes · View notes