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Crack ship of the day: Martha x Mayberry x Rosie. Two tall hot cannibal ladies and one very flustered lesbian squished between them.

I think they should eat a slab of human meat right off Mayberry’s body and then kiss in the middle like the lady and the tramp dogs with the spaghetti.

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happy pride to all evil lesbians (cant wait to see her do evil lesbian things in s2)

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Part of the reason that I hate the ‘Stolas is a bad dad’ discourse is that it taints Blitz’s character by association.

I’m sure Blitz has raised a brow or two at some of Stolas’ parenting choices (ie, let me introduce my kid to my situationship via hiring him to be a body guard, for example), but Blitz has never had any reason to doubt for even a moment how much Octavia is cherished. Her photos are all over the palace walls. Stolas talks about her enough for Blitz to know she likes music, taxidermy, and at one point, skateboarding. She’s free to express herself emotionally, even when it’s inconvenient for the rest of them. Stolas’ only concern in LA was Via returning home; he wasn’t even thinking of the grimoire!

One of Blitz’ primary motivations is to take care of his family, mostly his daughter. You mean to tell me that someone who holds being a loving father in such high esteem would want anything to do with someone he saw as a bad parent??

You really mean to look me in the eyes and tell me that Blitz would want anything to do with someone who he thought was seriously neglecting his kid? And I don’t mean a lapse in judgment or forgetting a promise or something Blitz might have preferred to handle differently if he could have. But do you seriously believe Blitz would want to settle with someone consistently neglecting and traumatizing his child? Are you stupid?

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Feeling very inspired by @dishrack-holygrail 's designs for fem Blitz and fem Stolas, so of course I needed to draw some big titty Stolas 😌

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I am Unwell

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url change bc i wanted one that actually was related to the hellaverse lmao

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Fizzie in a cute lil outfit, and some blitzfizz and stolitz bloblets 🐸🦎🦉

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✨🎆✨ ~Two sisters stargazing~

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Girls~ 👯‍♀️💕 (Human+Feminine Stolitz!)

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HB S3 Crack Theory: What if its Focus on Addiction is as Much About Loona as it is Stolas?

AKA: We want Stolas and Loona to bond, and this would be a way to have that while HB breaks our hearts as usual. A very long almost 3k post, and a theory based on little show clues which might be very wrong but won't escape my brain.

TW: Alcoholism, binge drinking. CW: Vomiting

So I've had this theory floating around in my head since the HB team said that S3 will focus on family and addiction. I'll admit it is very much a crack theory, so don't @ me that it seems like I'm basing this off really meager clues. I'm aware! That's kind of how crack theories are.

Theory:

Stolas does indeed have an alcohol problem, but Loona has a more concealed, more consistent one and will be the individual in the Stolitz family who actually needs support. Stolas will surprisingly be the one to discover it and get her to open up about it.

Why Do I Think Loona Might Have an Alcohol Problem?

Because HB as a series has a habit of hiding information in small, unaddressed details that have more meaning when you watch them back later. And I've noticed a few things across the two seasons that might be hints...

HINT 1: Past History According to the snotty Hellhound in Queen Bee, Loona has already been puke drunk at parties before, to an extent of being shamed for it. She's already a distant outsider, and it looks like her destructive form of partying made her a laughing stock to some of the Hellhounds. It's also uncertain if her dialogue about being reminded was just trying to distance herself from this asshole, or if she was literally blackout drunk at the previous party and didn't remember it at all.

HINT 2: Brushing Off Self-Destrucive Behavior Loona had no concerns with Blitzø chugging the keg of Beezlejuice (which concerned even Bee) and went into denial that he was self-destructing at the party. This could have been just her assuming he was fine all the time - Blitzø always presented himself as bulletproof to the team. It also could've been her usual standoffish attitude, or her trying not to leave the party because she was finally fitting in. OR it could be because she really didn't see a problem with him going this hard, because she's done it before.

HINT 3: Handling Drunks Despite having no current friends and a very loner lifestyle in Queen Bee, she was pretty knowledgeable with how to handle someone extremely drunk. Her previous party experience might've been a one-time thing, or might've been a situation she found herself in more than we knew.

HINT 3: Hiding Alcohol/Casual Day Drinking The bottle of booze in Mastermind. This is the one that started the theory for me. Loona had a bottle of alcohol hidden in her work desk. She specifically had it in a spot that no one else checks. That drawer was unchecked enough that she had the I.M.P. photo in there where Blitzø wouldn't scribble out his own face. There was no reason for her to have a bottle there unless she planned to drink during the workday, maybe when the rest of the crew was out on a mission and wouldn't notice.

HINT 4: Coping with Stress Via Alcohol After the Sinsmas battle, Loona was eager to turn the rest of the Sinsmas celebration to drinking. This could just be her trying to engage in the Sinsmas Hellhound gluttony, or could be a coping method she uses for stress on the regular.

NOT A HINT, BUT HONORABLE MENTION: The concept of Loona being hungover at inappropriate times was an idea they were toying with way back in the pilot episode. The pilot is not canon, and it might be a character trait they decided to scrap. I can't call it a hint. But I can present it as something that was a possibility for her from the start.

If Loona Does Have an Alcohol Problem, Why Wouldn't Blitzø Notice?

There are a few potential reasons:

ROSE-TINTED GLASSES Blitzø insists at basically every turn that Loona is perfect just how she is. He overlooks serious personality flaws and lets her get away with mouthing off to M&M frequently. This love was probably critical to her trusting him as an adoptive father, but it also means he's turned a very blind eye to her genuine faults.

PRIVACY Blitzø is a great and supportive father. He loves Loona unconditionally and wants to be involved in her life. But when he's not slathering her with physical affection and praise, he actually gives her a lot of space. This has probably been critical to her developing trust, but there are entire parts of her life he and the audience never see. We've never seen the inside of her bedroom, which to me is an indication that Blitzø rarely, if ever does either. She's able to go off to Bee's party with little more than a note on her door - no text or anything about where it is - and he doesn't question it. And again, her workspace is respected so much that she has that unscribbled photo of the I.M.P. crew in the top drawer.

Blitzø may have stalked M&M throughout S1 but always gave Loona explicit privacy throughout both seasons. If she has been concealing any problems, it would be a lot easier to do than people realize.

(Personal note, I bring the room and the drawer up because of experience with a close person in my life who hid their alcoholism this way. They would drink at night, hidden in their room, and store alcohol in their closet where it wouldn't be discovered.)

MORE OBVIOUS VS. HIDDEN ADDICTION It'd be dumb to skip over Blitzø's experience with loved ones and addiction. Cash, Barbie, Verosika: he's been around it plenty. But from our limited audience view, these addictions were more obvious. Cash was shown to be drunk and slurring from his first appearance, and Verosika was also drinking in hers. Barbie went straight from rehab to selling drugs from the human world as "honest work." Their addictions/relationship with drugs all show up regularly in their everyday lives.

However, Blitzø in The Circus didn't notice that Stolas had been literally gulping absinthe up until they were face-to-face. He was surprised to see Stolas binge drinking the same way in Apology Tour, as if it was his first time seeing it.

He's also had a long streak of convincing himself other people in his life were 'fine.' Until Apology Tour, it was easier for him to engage with Stolas believing that he couldn't be physically/emotionally hurt. He convinced himself that his shitty breakup tactic with Verosika was excusable until she forced him to realize how much it hurt. While he's been good at hiding his own struggles and self-hatred, he's not been good at recognizing when other people were doing the same.

If Blitzø Wouldn't Notice Loona Had a Problem, Why Would Stolas?

TAKING OVER HER SPACE In taking over Loona's job at I.M.P., Stolas is now using the desk and anything else she previously had. If there's more alcohol stashed, he will run into it. He's also sharing the apartment with her and Blitzø. If there are spaces that have quietly become "Loona's" over the years that Blitzø doesn't touch, he won't realize it. Stolas is also accustomed to everything he does being judged and unaccustomed to taking up space; I'd envision he'd want nondescript places to store items like his diary/smut journal. If Loona had any more alcohol stashed away in places Blitzø doesn't use, it's quite possible Stolas will discover it by accident.

FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE If Stolas discovers alcohol being hidden around the office or apartment, he'll probably figure out pretty quickly what's going on. He himself is working with a binge drinking problem and knows the signs.

Stolas not only knows what it looks like to have private struggles, but he knows what it looks like when someone is hiding them. He hid his abuse, his depression, and possibly his binge drinking from everyone, even Via, for a good 17-18 years. He's accustomed to be overlooked and knows what it's like to conceal personal issues so his loved ones don't worry. He also has very recent experience on how that mentality does more damage in the long run.

Wouldn't Stolas Also Need Help With His Drinking?

Maybe. Recovery is a very individual process based on a person and what options are available to them. With Stolas, his drinking will likely be something he actively struggles not to slide into for a long time, if not forever. But it's uncertain whether or not he will continue the binge drinking. It is obvious going back over episodes that Stolas has a glass or wine or other single drink frequently, so he might have a problem with daily consumption. But his binging seems to specifically only come up as a coping method. He typically starts by portioning with a single glass/cup and transfers to binging when he's upset or stressed. He's accustomed to not being part of 'the fun' and coping with emotional pain while no one else bothers to notice.

However, it seems like he already went between Mastermind and Sinsmas without alcohol. Going cold turkey while also going without his powers or his anti-depressants must have been one fucking combo, but the bottom line is he's likely been sober for weeks or a month as of the end of S2. And when Loona brings out the drinks at the Sinsmas party, he silently excuses himself out of the room. Given his emotional state, he likely knew he would end up binge drinking, so he left to avoid the temptation.

None of this means he's 'over' his alcohol problem or will never need outside help, but it seems he's aware that his binging is something he doesn't want to do around Blitzø and the I.M.P. crew. Loona turns to alcohol to de-stress, whereas Stolas knows it will make him worse and avoids it. Whether or not Stolas will also need help in the form of counseling or rehab, he's taken the first steps of recognizing his problem and removing himself from situations that trigger it.

If Stolas Figures Out Loona Has an Alcohol Problem, Wouldn't He Tell Blitzø First?

I really don't think so.

Blitzø is Loona's father, but again, Stolas knows what it's like to conceal issues and how frighteningly vulnerable it makes someone to potentially have them. He's also lived for a good 18 years with Stella, where he had to walk on eggshells and word himself carefully to avoid her anger. His personality approaches situations with scripted wording and attempts to be as unassuming as possible. After the post-Ozzie's conflict Blitzø, he sent texts trying to get them to talk about what went down, only to immediately back off and assure Blitzø that he was just worried about him when Blitzø brushed it off.

He's also used to choices he makes 'for the better' blowing up in his face: the Full Moon situation, the accidental hurt he caused Via, etc. He wouldn't trust himself to make choices for Loona. I'm sure he would want her to tell Blitzø, if his opinion comes up. But if anyone in the Stolitz family would be able to quietly, unassumingly discuss this with her without her feeling like she was being judged or pressured, it would be Stolas. Loona tends to close off at the first sign of judgement or pressure.

And I think Loona would be nervous admitting her problem to Blitzø.

Why Would Loona Be Afraid to Tell Blitzø?

Again, Blitzø is a great father. Despite Loona's anger issues and distant personality, his affections never wavered, and it's clear by the end of S2 the trust between them is basically unbreakable. Blitzø has experience with loved ones having addiction problems and even them needing rehab. He would know the obvious signs of addiction and the treatment process, and he'd want Loona to get better. So, why would Loona hesitate to get him involved?

BLIND AFFECTION Blitzø's unwavering love for Loona might make her uncomfortable opening up about this with him, out of fear that he might blame himself for missing it. She pushed him away quite a bit in the first season/early S2, but she's always felt she could act however she wanted and they'd be fine. But this is a serious problem, and he could think he failed as a father by his blind belief in how 'perfect' she was. Loona might have an attitude, but she does love Blitzø. And she's afraid of being abandoned, even if she logically knows Blitzø would never actually abandon her. She could be afraid of being the daughter who failed even given unconditional love, and she wouldn't want him to feel like a failure for not realizing if she had a problem.

OVERPROTECTIVE Blitzø is a loving and supportive father, but despite the privacy he gives her, he is prone to overreacting and treating her as younger than her age. If she did have a serious problem going on, Blitzø would potentially blow his reaction out of her comfort zone and try to enforce drastic steps that she would resist. She has trust issues that would make it difficult to open up to counseling and would likely need more gentle reassurance to go forward. "Gentle" is something Blitzø is capable of, but not when he's panicked about his precious Looney-Tooney.

And I absolutely can't Loona her doing any sort of inpatient rehab, which Blitzø might immediately jump to since his ex-girlfriend and sister both went that route. Rehab facilities might feel too similar to her isolation at the adoption facility and would dredge up old trauma. Loona is only as functional as she is because Blitzø gave her a stable home life. I think a rehab facility would feel like being locked away with strangers again: literally the worst thing for her.

PREVIOUS TREATMENT OF ALCOHOLISM Spring Broken was the first time we see Blitzø interacting with someone facing alcoholism. And it just so happened to be his ex, who had an antagonistic relationship with. In multiple parts of the episode, he uses Verosika's alcoholism as an insult and shames her for leaving rehab. If this stuck with Loona, she'd be afraid to open up. Blitzø would never approach her this way, but I could see her fearing that he'd stick her in rehab and not want her out until she was "better enough," despite inpatient rehab being a nightmare for her specific forms of trauma.

Why Would Loona Potentially Discuss This with Stolas?

Again, Stolas has experience trying to word things more gently and privately. And he's typically a follower, not a decision maker. If Stolas discovered that Loona had a drinking problem, his first step wouldn't be to plan what needed done. If Loona was willing to admit to her struggle, he would likely ask her what she thought she needed for help. Whether or not they brought the problem to Blitzø would be up to her. Again, he concealed his own abuse and mental health issues for years. He would want her to open up to Blitzø about it, but he doesn't have any room to demand it or decide to tell Blitzø on his own.

Drinking is also a specific issue he's struggling with, and I think he would be willing to divulge that to her, as well, so she doesn't feel so alone. Their backgrounds are drastically different, and hers has more in common with Blitzø's, but she and Stolas have some similarities. Both of them know what it's like to grow up friendless, the odd one singled out at events, the subject of derision among their entire social class. If Loona took up drinking as a way to cope with her lasting stress or trauma, Stolas would understand it personally. He also knows firsthand how important Blitzø has been to becoming a better person after that, and how Loona would be afraid of hurting him.

Also, Stolas would likely feel invested in helping. He's probably going into S3 struggling with a feeling of uselessness: he's lost his power, his home, his status, his daughter, anything that he feels gives him any individual worth. He doesn't know how to function in normal working reality and probably feels like a complete worthless failure at the moment. But this is a situation where he might not be useless: where his specific cheering-on-from-the-sidelines form of support would be exactly what was needed. As stated, he knows the longterm damage that comes from burying personal problems instead of opening up about them or trying to change them. He would not want Blitzø's daughter to go down that route.

It would also be a parallel to Seeing Stars and the end of Sinsmas: Stolas reassuring Loona to keep trying would be a reflection of Blitzø convincing him to keep trying with Via. It would be a reflection of how Loona herself reassured Octavia that Stolas was trying, too. Stolitz family bonding, but in that uniquely heartbreaking Helluva Boss way.

Conclusion:

This is just a crack theory and based on admittedly not huge evidence. This could be making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm an expert at reading too much into things. But at least now it's out of my brain! Time will tell what comes for Season 3.

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Hi tumblr EPISODE 8 REDRAW IS HERE :)))!!!!

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i didn't engage. i preserved my peace.

please clap. /j

[takes a DEEEEEP breath in and out]

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...!

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...!!

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace!!!

[this mantra is repeated as blood runs from my nose and eyes while i shake like a possessed person in a horror movie]

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[takes a DEEEEEP breath in and out]

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...!

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace...!!

i will not take part in Helluva discourse, i am preserving my fucking peace!!!

[this mantra is repeated as blood runs from my nose and eyes while i shake like a possessed person in a horror movie]

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How Blitz Saved Stolas in Mastermind

Something I've been wanting to do for a WHILE is talk about a very, very specific scene in Mastermind. Seriously, it's, like, two sentences long, but it really stuck out to me, and I've been thinking about it since November. (Apologies if other people have talked about this before!)

Let me preface by saying, I LOVE English and writing. I minored in English with a writing concentration in undergrad, and I used to work in my college's writing center. When I didn't have appointments, I would study grammar rules and shit like that. While English is, in fact, a very stupid language, it is still quite fascinating.

The thing that really stuck out to me in Mastermind is Blitz's use of something called "passive voice" during the trial.

For those who may not know, passive voice is a way of constructing your sentences. It makes it so that the object of the sentence comes before the verb, and, in a sense, it can "hide" the subject. This is different from active voice, where the subject clearly does the verb to the object. For example:

Active voice: I (subject) kicked (verb) the ball (object).

Passive voice: The ball (object) was kicked (verb) by me (subject).

I've had MANY teachers tell me that using passive voice at all is a big no-no, and that's due to a couple of reasons. First, passive voice tends to create a more complex sentence, which can be harder for readers to interpret. And second, some people consider it too informal or "not proper" for writing because it's not as clear or concise as active voice.

HOWEVER

Passive voice is often still accepted when a person wants to remove blame or hide responsibility. For example:

The lamp was broken. The car was wrecked. The bank was robbed.

See how you still know what happened in all of those instances, but you don't know who did it?

That is exactly what Blitz does during the Mastermind trial.

After he admits to stealing the book (or "attempting" to steal the book as he says), he then states,

"Point is! It was given to me, okay? I was allowed to use it."

Instead of:

"Point is! Stolas gave it to me, okay? Stolas allowed me to use it."

Passive voice. Why?

To keep Stolas out of it. To protect him.

I believe that if Blitz had mentioned Stolas's name earlier, it would've been a surefire way to not only save Millie, Moxxie, and Loona but also his own life. I mean, look at how fast Satan was willing to change his tune once Stolas "confessed." Couldn't Blitz have just said, "hey, dude. Uh, actually, the royal who owns this book let me do all this, soooo, isn't he the one who should be in trouble here?" (Now, maybe Satan wouldn't have bought this since he wasn't willing to listen to most of what Blitz was trying to say that day, but that is an entirely different conversation.) He could've done that by using active voice.

But he didn't. He intentionally kept Stolas out of that entire conversation. In fact, Blitz never even mentions Stolas's name until Andrealphus already brought him up, until Blitz admits that he could've killed Stolas himself. But that still doesn't put any blame on Stolas. If anything, it just makes Blitz look more guilty.

I think we can all agree that Blitz isn't the type to throw his friends under the bus. Obviously, if Blitz and Stolas were on good terms, he would do anything to protect him. But they weren't on good terms.

This all takes place after the Full Moon, after Apology Tour, after all the screaming and the raging and the storming off in tears. Prior to the trial, the last time Blitz and Stolas saw each other, Blitz left still under the impression that Stolas was mad at him, that Stolas wanted nothing to do with him.

And even still, he didn't acknowledge the fact that Stolas did allow Blitz to use it (despite him stealing it first). Even though they weren't even close to speaking terms, Blitz still protected Stolas that day.

He could've tried to save his own ass. He could've been petty about the deal and said, "here, Stolas, this is what you get." But he didn't. Because even though Blitz has his own valid reasons for being mad at Stolas, he still loves him. And he'd still do anything to keep him out of danger.

Blitz tends to prefer actions over words (e.g., that's why Blitz gets upset when Stolas gives him the crystal. He interprets Stolas's actions as "you're throwing me away.") Stolas tends to prefer words over actions (e.g., that's why Stolas gets upset when Blitz roleplays with "I love you/I'll stay with you." He interprets Blitz's words as "this is a joke to me.")

But that day? They both chose the opposite.

Stolas's actions saved Blitz. And Blitz's words saved Stolas.

Isn't that neat?

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I love the thought of snarking becoming a bit of a love language between Blitz and Via. Via feeling secure enough to know nothing she says can really push Blitz away or come between either of them and Stolas while Blitz finds familiarity in affectionate razzing as bonding. I tried a lot of different stuff with this one artistically, and I'm pretty happy with all of it! I'm not sure if I'll ever settle into a consistent comic style, but I'm having lots of fun 😌 Bonus doodle comic of a slightly rough start below the cut! 😂

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I think it's highly underrated just how public of a nuisance Blitz really is. My man doesn't get into arguments in private- his ex is a massive pop star who sang about him TO HIS FACE at the hottest club in Lust, he got into a fistfight with Fizzarolli on a random street corner in Greed but THEN a few months LATER is seen attending his pageant as special security (I'm sure the gossip rags went wild), despite his numerous crimes the only time he's been caught his trial was broadcasted live, WHICH HE THEN WON. He's the first imp to own a business in Pride, and despite his shitty money handling skills he was able to keep it above ground until it was finally noticed at the end of season 2 and business picked up. He's got billboards with his face on them.

The people of Hell know Blitzo Buckzo the same fucking way we hear about every single local cryptid sighting. There's probably forums somewhere in Hell about him as a known weirdo.

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in case you ever wanted to know what mambo number 5 sounds like with all the instruments (including the drums) replaced with bike horns