salshuman

[salshuman]

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

[salshuman]

[salshuman]

I sought to see you here again, in the off chance… you sought to see me...?

[salshuman]

high limits on buildings seem so bad to me: a law that says "you may only build a building so glorious". If the building outshines the mountain surrounding the city, perhaps that is a flaw with the mountains: perhaps nature should have tried harder.

[salshuman]

if you’re not into some dumb embarrassing shit you’re not living your truth

[salshuman]

would you ever make a serious attempt on becoming vegetarian/vegan?

(for whatever reason: health, as an act of protest, just cus you wanna, etc etc)

pls add an 'already am' option

[salshuman]

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually age 25 - 35

[salshuman]

one thing about me is that I'm looking stuff up. you mentioned something and I don't know it? I am pulling out my phone and googling that shit. an actor? theoretical physics? a world leader? a vocabulary word? I am on the wikipedia page as we speak

[salshuman]

Illustration by Sophie Lucido Johnson

[salshuman]

office

[salshuman]

The carabiner... Seriving #butch #realness during pride month... 😍😍😍

[salshuman]

maybe the "people are using chatgpt for therapy/social connection" conversation should pivot a little less on the "using chatgpt damages your Immortal Soul forever and also makes you a lazy socially inept invalid" discussion point and more on the "nobody has anyone real to talk to who won't either accuse them of 'traumadumping' or charge them $200 an hour and then have them detained and medically abused the first time they express an uncomfortable sentiment" thing

[salshuman]

The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

[salshuman]

NEVER GIVE UP

[salshuman]