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just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

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you're not gonna like what you find , park .

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you know what really gets my goat?

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[stumbling out of the wizard’s tower wearing five cursed amulets] dude it’s chill i’m still ok to fly the dragon

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I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

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When you're trying to bleed out aesthetically in the snow but the urge to make snow angels is clawing at your insides.

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Tracking Prey

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Horniness is not intrinsically less pure than any other human motivation

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What possible thing is causing you such concern, you unemployed illiterate ball of lint?

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No transphobes allowed, only transborbs.

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how is your 2025 resolution to unlearn your deep rooted shame going queen

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will be referencing this when I want to be a hater from now on

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I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

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youre never alone. bacteria

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honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation