sammis-workbook

[sammis-workbook]

Retrospective

Elena was kidnapped when she was a young girl and trained into the worlds most elite killer. Living in a cut throat world the evil organisation ‘Hysteria’ began brainstorming different ways they could reach the top of the ladder and figured that killing their opposition and any one that got in their way was the best way to do it, but they could risk getting caught, so they made her. After years of brainwashing and torture a regular citizen broke through her outer exterior, making her discover her true self and break free. After a 3 year long identity crisis she decides she needs to start doing good and erasing the wrong she has done in her past, enlisting herself in a villain turned hero organisation ‘The Outcasts’ she begins to do this. But what happens when someone from her past begins causing havoc, pushing her closer and closer back to who she used

My reflection: Overall I am really happy with how my poster turned out, I think the course really developed my illustration skill and it was interesting seeing how I could incorporate different drawing styles into my work. I think the course went pretty well for me considering there were a lot of personal issues going on throughout the duration of the course so I am very proud of myself for completing the course without the need for an extension. Over the duration of the course I think I have developed a much better understanding of illustration, especially within the process we used to develop our characters - i had never considered using values when colouring my characters and it has made me look at my drawings and colour choices a lot more closely no thanks to that. My main goal for this project was to complete a final outcome that I was happy with and that pushed me to become a better designer which I think I did. my ability to take on feedback and make changes to my work based on that feedback was a lot better than most of my projects I have worked on and I allowed myself for my idea to develop beyond how I pictured in my head which I think is a goal in itself to strive so I am glad I achieved that. I think for future illustration projects I might try and experiment with more detail, my drawing style is very flat and while I do like that I think if I was to do this again I would like to push myself further and perhaps try and add more dimension into my outcome. Overfall I am very happy with my design and with the illustration techniques I have developed throughout the duration of this course. 

[sammis-workbook]

Possible addition of facial features

After final completion I had some doubts that my character wasn’t complete without a face (even though it was intentional due to her ability to hide her face from those she doesn’t trust) so went in and added one and got some feedback on what people preferred. Below is the outcome with a face: 

Feedback

Person 1: I prefer the lack of face as it conceals her identity and suits the poster composition better. 

Person 2: I prefer the lack of face as it is one of her special abilities which shows more of her character in the poster and also because it adds mystery which will draw the audience in and push them to watch the movie more so they can figure out who she is

[sammis-workbook]

The Process Leading to my Final Composition

This was my starting point for my composition, it had everything in my draft composition other than the title. I decided that I wanted to add something into the outer section of the hourglass as in current form it looked two bland and unfinished. I decided that I wanted the outer part of the hourglass to be a representation of her past. The inside has blue which represents the good qualities she now possesses and also has her current look, however, the black on the outside is quite dark and the fact it is on the outside gives a closing in effect which represents the fact that going back to Madborough brings her closer ands closer to become her old self. My first idea on how to do that was to add blood splatters which will represent all the people she has killed and the killer she used to be. 

Here are the flicks of blood that I mentioned above, however, I still didn’t think that this was enough. I decided to bring in a bit of the technology idea and mixed that with the symbolism of her broken past I decided to add these pixelated lines that kind of look like what a computer screen does when the LCD has leaked within the screen when it is broken. 

You can see the LCD kind of look on the right side in different opacities to add more depth. Still, I found it a bit bland so figured I would add some of her character traits within the poster, a mix of both her good and bad traits from her past and present but written in Romanian as that is her nationality, the first language she spoke and also the language she ended up speaking while she was held captive. 

Here is a list of the traits included in english -  intelligent, daring, efficient, logical, persuasive, rational, aggressive, ambitious, intense, stubborn, tough, emotional, selfless, kind, genuine, honest, opinionated, perfectionist, athletic,  reliable - which are the 20 traits that I think represent her best from each phase of her life. I did think that they stood out a lot within the composition so brainstormed some ideas for how I can include it better and decide to focus on the fact that all of the detail surrounding the words within the black was different opacities so decided to add a layer over top in different opacities that made it look like some of the traits had been redacted, similar to a lot  of the old reports they find in the story  of her old missions.

Next step was to make some of the text more opaque as well. 

After making everything opaque I was happy with the outer part of the hourglass and decided that the inside was lacking so decided to use multiple different textured brushes to make the inside fit the outside of the hour glass. 

After adding texture I was finally happy with the outcome and I was just time to add my title I had already designed previously. 

[sammis-workbook]

Possible Font Choices

I definitely think I prefer the more thick, bold and tall options of the fonts. I quite like the ones with parts taken out of the text for that destroyed look and feel like that could work quite well. Below are my favourite of these fonts on my composition so I could decide what worked best.

1, 2 and 3 use the fonts I found on dafont. From these experiments I decided I liked a mix between the first and third options and so I decided to combine the thickness and height to create a nice consistent font and then took inspiration from the parts missing in some other fonts and instead took the technologically advanced aspect of my characters world and represented that through the font with a glitched look to it. Overall I am very happy with my font choice and think it fits my poster and composition very well.

[sammis-workbook]

My Intention For Week Six

My intention for this week is to focus on colour as I am struggling a bit with what colours work best with my composition and character colour palette. I also need to work on details that will help bring everything together and represent a lot of the story and her backstory within it due to my love for symbolism. 

[sammis-workbook]

3 Different Composition Ideas and Feedback

composition one: 

1. I like the simplicity of this it draws your attention to the main point 2. I like how she is full figured 3. I like the grey city skyline adding depth 4. I don’t like how we can only see one character this dosnt give us enough information 5. I don’t like how the BG is plain this has no sence of depth there is also no geometric symbolism in this work so we can’t get any more information about what is happening

composition two: 

1. I really like how the city outline and the wording contrast 2. I like how it is showing the other people 3. I don’t like You can only see half of the main figure 4. I like how the main figure is outlined bolder than the two in the BG 5. He only has one eyebrow 6. She has no face I like this because it conceals her identity 

composition three: 

1. I like how the city outcome is in get this gives the work depth 2. I like how she is shown in full figure 3. I like how multiply people are shown 4. I like how the Two side triangles are using geometry to break up the square 5. I don’t like how the two BG characters cut off their body’s half way 6. I don’t like how the side triangles are blank 

my evaluation: I think I will do the a mix of the first and third composition. I will do the basis of the third composition just without the characters and will add something to the triangles and stuff to add depth to the background as per feedback

[sammis-workbook]

Some Class Notes

 What Makes a Good Character Notes

it a subjective topic 

its about clarity - of silhouette, palette and exaggeration - that way it will be recognisable in any art style

what is a bad character design? - messy silhouette, confusing palette and bland and generic everything else

silhouette 

must be recognisable from just the silhouette, made of big identifiable shapes (square - stability trust and stubbornness; triangle - sharp, edginess, danger, intensity and speed; circle - friendly, bouncy, soft, welcoming, warm and happy)

big clothing, hair or weapons 

weird and unique shape on their head

figure out which shapes you can push to make it more iconic

palette

don’t choose too many colours

colour hierarchy - one colour is the dominant ones and the other colours support without competing

make sure you flip the character when you draw 

Composition Notes

photos of the “no-nos”

photos of the visual centres - especially when i will use one 

visual weight - i will use contrast and scale

[sammis-workbook]

4 Step Poster Ideas Brainstorm

1. Format: Movie

2. Genre: Superhero

3. Setting and scene elements: other characters important to the plot, cityscape of Madborough, a title that looks very techy, triangles on either side to make an hourglass shape that represents that time is running out etc, have blue within the poster due to it having a lot of character traits of hers mentioned in its symbolism, could have something to do with her romanian nationality

4. Title: Her villian name from when she was with Hysteria as that is who she has to go back and explore to beat Kaitlyn - The Dark Angel

[sammis-workbook]

Other Colour Experimentations

I did some more trails with colours I had already experimented with and also added in completely blue options as well. i know for sure that these are the only three colours i want to use due to the symbolism behind them pink (caring, tenderness, acceptance and calm), blue (integrity, knowledge, power, and seriousness, calm, stability, unity, trust, truth, confidence, loyalty) and purple (wisdom, enlightenment). In the monochrome pink option I think that switching the colours around compared to my last iteration definitely worked better and while the white sleeves look good I think the monochrome look and having one colour represent the character is a better idea. While I do really like the purple it has the least amount of traits associated with my character within it so I will put that on the back burner. I think he first option of blue is my favourite, however, while I love it - it doesn’t have enough contrast so when doing its values it isn’t going to stand out as much. Based on all of these observations I have decided to do with the monochrome pink option (pictured first)

[sammis-workbook]

Colour Variants

These are my colour variants. I think my favourite out of these three is the purple although I would like to trial the pink option with the colours swapped so that the dark pink is on the outside, which would reflect my chosen value variant. Changing this up will be the next step within my development and after that I should have a much better idea of what my character will look like, I will also make sure I do this within my full character silhouette. 

[sammis-workbook]

Accessory Variants

I decided to look at different variants of hair and clothing choices for my character, these are the other ideas that I had. 

While the everyday clothing options could work and have enough difference in them to make a good silhouette in my poster the character won’t be posed in everyday clothes. In terms of the hero clothing options I really love the both of them and think they are fantastic and stunningly detailed, however, they are both skintight options and therefor won’t add enough to the silhouette. 

As for the hair options, I also find it hard to make them into a silhouette that will be recognisable. The first option, however, would be the hairstyle that the character would wear throughout the day so at least that has helped me add to the characters development, much like the everyday clothes I have drawn. 

[sammis-workbook]

Value Variants

I think my favourite is the second option, it has enough contrast bit also doesn’t look unnatural and too extreme like the last option. i also think the first option doesn’t work overly well became the skin contrast between the boots and here isn’t enough to stand out. 

[sammis-workbook]

Expressions Class Task

Here are my twelve different expressions

[sammis-workbook]

Silhouette Iterations

While I do really like the first option and think it gives off that fashion forward look for her I still don’t think that any of these silhouettes are strong enough to be recognisable on their own. I do enjoy the clothing choices so am going to try and see what else I can do with the hair, perhaps a pony tail could work well. I will then compare that with these silhouettes and see what makes my characters silhouette the most recognisable. 

I think the hair on the fourth option looks much better in comparison to the others and the triangular shape of that hair adds onto the edge that her character has so feel that is the best direction for me to go in. Now to make her more recognisable I will add the bottom half to her silhouette and add her weapon choice which I think will be swords over daggers because they add more to the silhouette. 

This is my final silhouette, unfortunately I forgot to get screenshots of the different weapons I used and the addition of the angel wings on her boots to do with the Angel part of her name. The hair, swords and wings allows for a silhouette that is distinctly her so I now feel confident enough to move onto the next stage in the process

[sammis-workbook]

Character Posture Photo Class Task

Sketch of my pose

Drawing of pose with necessary character features

[sammis-workbook]

Detailed Character Profile

Full name: Elena Braşoveanu

Nicknames: The Dark Angel, El, Lena

Age: 23

Date of birth: June 28, 2028

Nationality: Romanian

City of birth: Constanta

Hometown: San Francisco

Where she was held captive/lived when she was brainwashed: Madborough (fictional city in europe)

Current location: New York (2051)

Occupation: Superhero, but her day job is at a book store due to it being one of her happy places, she loved reading books as a child and the smell of them etc but after being held captive for years it was a way to escape, a way to pretend she was someone she wasn’t so ashamed of

Employing company: Outcasts Inc

Team name: The Outcasts

Does he or she own a home? she lives in a skyscraper almost apartment building kind of thing but it is specifically for heroes and they are in seperate apartment things where each person has their own floor designed to their choosing with a lift connecting them all but she also has a house of her own filled with things for her past that is more unique and shows the side she tries to hide from people and the only person who gets to see it is her boyfriend - not until she has to visit her place on a mission though as it shows the side of her she hides from everyone 

Eye colour: Blue

Hair colour: Brown

Hair style: Wears it down normally but in hero form it is in a very high ponytail, her hair is very long

Skin colour: Tan

Height: 5’4

Build: Slim

Sexual Orientation: Straight

If a social class exists in their world, to which one do they belong? Upperclass

Does the character drink regularly? Yes, you will regularly find her at the end of a long day nursing a drink, most of the time it is vodka - although if she wakes up from a really long day she will sneak into her boyfriends room and go and grab some of his 20 year old bourbon.

Does the character smoke? No, her captors used to smoke all the time and now she can’t stand being anywhere near it.

Talents/Skills: Dagger and knife skills, unbelievable with swords, incredible flexibility and cat-like reflexes, ability to read and hide emotions

What’s the style of the character? her style is very futuristic and fashion-forward due to the setting of the story

Do they have any distinguishing features (tattoos, piercings, scars, birthmarks)? - she has a tattoo at the base of her neck which was her ID number from when she was held captive - she never wanted any more after that, feeling like tattoos were a way of branding, she’s got multiple ear piercings, she’s got a scar on her left shoulder from being shot, she has a massive scar the length of her forearm on her right arm and another one on her left thigh from a knife 

What's their preferred outfit? She generally navigates towards skirts and dresses as she loves fashion and is very feminine which people find odd due to her aggressive nature and will wear leggings around home as they are the only form of pants that are comfortable

Do they wear glasses? No

What accessories are ALWAYS associated with them? She will always wear the necklace her boyfriend got her before they got together, he had it from when he was younger and told her that he couldn’t imagine anyone else wearing it, and in her hero form it is her swords - it is the one thing she kept from her past as a villain as they were gifted to her by a citizen she saved despite being ordered to kill her 

What's their usual level of grooming/dress style? - Fashion forward, very put together, style thats stands out from the crows - lots of colour due to only wearing shades while held captive

Describe their handwriting (sloppy, neat, careful, unintelligible). It is very neat and script like, very pretty, however, because of that it can sometimes be quite hard to read

How do they walk? Confident, powerful strides in public - almost as if on a runway but around home and those she trusts it is more meaningless, often distracted or sad like

Posture: Stiff, military

How emotive are they? Do they wear their emotions on their sleeve? How easily can others to read them? - She is very hard to read, she has so many emotions bottled up inside that she feels deeply when alone but no one else ever sees that, to her its a sign of weakness and it is one of the few things she is thankful for being trained in because no one can ever figure her out if she doesn’t want them to - well other than her boyfriend due to his similar experience.They have a resting bitch face as well. 

What are their hobbies? As a child she did almost everything but her main hobby was dance, she had competitions every weekend, always coming first and that skill was part of the reason why shed got kidnapped. Since then though she hasn’t really taken up many hobbies, although she loves reading as a distraction and also loves taking photos as a way of trying to understand things and also tell a story herself, this is also why she loves writing, and to get her feelings out and understand them without having to talk to anyone about it

What kind of vehicle to they drive? she drives a motorbike, its quick, easy and good to get in and out of tight spaces - great for a hero but also for someone who is quite an impatient person in her everyday life 

What are their pet peeves? Slow walkers, loud chewers, people asking her if she is okay

What do they like to do in their spare time? She does a lot of training, even outside of mandatory training sessions (it allows her to think straight) but for fun she will read, write and take photos. She will also spend a lot of her evenings on the roof talking with her boyfriend about anything and everything while stargazing (she loves the stars as she never really got to see them much when she was held captive and used to stargaze with her family, mostly her dad before she was kidnapped as he was an astronomer)

What is their favourite place in the world? She absolutely loves Romania, she was really disappointed and sad when her parents moved her to America and she has always wanted to go back but is scared that with all of the trauma she has been through that if she goes back she won’t see it the same, so instead she dreams of it every night and writes about etc hoping that one day she will be able to head back there

What is their favourite book? To kill a mockingbird

What is their favourite food? Cheeseburgers (it was her favourite thing about coming to the US)

Relationships

Family: Her mum was the traditional housewife and she was really close with her mum, they would spend the weekends baking together and she would often help out in the kitchen, both of their love of food bringing them close. Her father wasn’t home much, he was in the army and was deployed for most of her life but when he was home he would take her to the pier and they would go on rollercoasters and he would let her win all the carnival type games before finally taking her to go and get ice cream form her favourite ice cream shop just down the road from their house. She had two older brothers growing up who she was quite close with, they were only 2 and 3 years older than her and they would often find themselves playing in the yard and having wrestling matches with each other with lollies as prize money - when she was kidnapped, however, both her parents and here brothers were killed as they didn’t want any witnesses or anyone spending a lot of time searching for her, or for someone to recognise her when she was doing their dirty work for them. Her grandparents died of natural causes and her uncle died of a heart attack but she does have one cousin that is still alive but she hasn’t gotten in contact with because of her past and not wanting to bring the bad she holds into her cousins life. 

Pet: She doesn’t have any pets yet but has always wanted a dog, specifically a husky.

Love interest: She met her boyfriend Isaac when she joined the Outcasts and the bonded very quickly due to their very similar pasts. They don’t end up together until the end of the story, they have both been into each other previously, however, it isn’t until the two of them reveal a lot of their past and true self to each other during the story to be able to beat their opponent that they both realise that they should be together. 

Enemies: The entire Hysteria (group who kidnapped her) organisation. As well as the enemy for the story Kaitlyn, she was apart of Hysteria and had been kidnapped as well, they used to be friends but are no longer due to her still being bad and Elena being good

Is your character religious, or do they have a mentor, someone they put on a pedstal, or do they take advice from someone? She looks up to her boyfriend a lot due to his ability to move on from the trauma he went to and the pain that he caused others etc, she strives to be able to do the same as him 

Mental Characteristics Intelligent or not? She is fairly intelligent, it was part of her training - she needed to know everything about every upperclass member of the society as well as threats to the incorporation, as well as needing to know every detail of ways to escape, ways to torture etc all without being caught - but that is very limited knowledge, she has no pop culture knowledge etc due to being brainwashed and held captive for nearly half her life

Fears: Her biggest fear is to revert back to who she was in her past, but she also fears losing those she cares about, or for them to realise she is the horrible person she says thinks she is etc

Rational Or Emotional: Depends on the circumstance, normally she is very rational - if she has to chose between to strangers she will choose based on who has more life to live etc even though it will affect her greatly afterwards, but if anything to do with her life needs to be decided on she finds it a lot harder to look at it rationally, instead she will get very close to spiralling out of control

How could you upset this character? Bringing up her past, abandoning her, make her feel unwanted or alone etc

Biggest strength: Her ability to read peoples emotions and hide her own

Biggest weakness: Her self-doubt

Is the character an introvert or an extrovert? When she was a child she was an introvert but the years of torture and keeping to herself turned her into an introvert, the longer she is out of captivity and the more she is around those she cares about and who cares about you she begins coming more and more into her old outgoing personality.

What would the character like to change in his/her life? Their past

What things motivate the character? Helping people, proving to herself that she isn’t a bad person

What are they most afraid of people finding out? While she doesn’t want anyone finding out about what she did when she was a villain - her boyfriend knows most of it but the one thing she will never let out, even to him is that she killed a child and she also killed one of her brothers - it is the thing that haunts her the most and the thing that she thinks no one would be able to forgive her for

What do they want the most? To help, and to replace all the pain and suffering she has caused with happiness and thankfulness

Does the character prefer to give or to take? Give

Is the character rather nice or rude? She has a cold exterior and people will tend to shy away from her on the streets but if anyone interacts with her they will learn she is very nice very quick

MAIN POINTS

Full backstory: Elena was born in Romania and moved to the United States when she was seven due to her father getting a new job. Her parents and two brothers uprooted their lives and began living the “American Dream”. She was extremely close with her family, her father more specifically and they all spent the weekends doing things together, she had what most would describe as the perfect childhood. Until a week after her tenth birthday when she was kidnapped by Hysteria. She was taken to Madborough where they tortured and brainwashed her for two years (it took a lot longer than most due to her close connection with her family) into a trained and deadly killer. Over the next couple of years she became the teams biggest asset. She killed thousands of people over the 8 years she was killing for them, until one day she ran into a citizen who reminded her of her humanity. She didn‘t return to the compound that night and underwent a massive breakdown at the realisation of who she had became and how many people she had harmed, only starting to heal again after being recruited to The Outcasts, a villain turned superhero crew. Ever since she joined she has spent her spare time trying to figure out how to take Hysteria down, however, know she has a more immediate problem to deal with so all of that must be put on hold. 

Details about her world: Her world is a futuristic and more money hungry and cut throat version of earth today. Everyone is fashion forward and striving to be the best in each city, country or even the world. Everything is very technologically advanced and the status system holds a very important role within the world. There is also an imaginary city Madborough which is where most of the story takes place, it is the most dangerous and criminally run city in the world, here the citizens take being at the top to a whole other extreme, everyone is a criminal its just a question as to who is good enough to not get caught.

What she wants/needs: To save the world and to erase the horrible things that she has done in her past

Special ability/skill: Dagger and knife skills, unbelievable with swords, incredible flexibility and cat-like reflexes, ability to read and hide emotions (this is with people she trusts, however, she also has the ability to hide her face from those she doesn’t know or trust, this was done with a serum she was injected with while held captive to hide her identity so she didn’t get caught while killing and so no one she knew from her past life could see her - as they had control of it at this point)

External problem: Her ‘friend’ that she had while she was held by Hysteria is killing a bunch of people after breaking free from Hysteria and is trying to build her own evil empire. She wants to recruit Elena onto her side and uses the things she has done in her past against her to do this. 

Internal problem: Guilt and loneliness due to self isolation. Struggle to accept that she can be a good person/already is

How she will solve the problem: She ends up having to go back to Madborough and become the person she used to be again, only issue is while doing this she has to try and not revert back to who she was

What she learns: After working with the two people she trusts most in the world and who have been through similar pasts they allow her to realise that you can move through her mistakes and also that she won’t go back to being the person she used to be and that she is different now

[sammis-workbook]

Getting to know your character - 9 steps exercise

Part One

Character One: 

external problem: trying to prove herself to the world while everyone is against her

internal problem: loneliness and guilt from what she did as a baby

how will they solve this problem: after a massive fight where multiple superheroes are involved they end up asking her to join them and she begins realising she is horrible through them and as do others, shed also gets educated on her powers through this group and finds people like her and realises they all had horrible moments like hers where they recognise their powers and she realises its just what has to happen in order for her to be able to do good and that unlike most people of her species she chose to good and realises her decision outweighs something she couldn’t control 

Character Two: 

external problem: a friend from her past who is killing a lot of people but is trying to recruit her onto her side using things she has done in her past against her

internal problem: guilt and loneliness, struggle to accept she is now a good person 

how will they solve this problem: 2 other people that join the team also feel the same about their past as her and through telling them they are good people she begins to realise the same about herself 

Character Three: 

external problem: keeping everyone in hell in line after the prince of hell (lucifer) disappears

internal problem: disciplining the evil soles everyday when it makes her feel really crap

how will they solve this problem: she ends up going to find lucifer, turns out he is on earth and that he left for the same reason she wanted to and they both question how they can find away out of it all, they decide screw it if hell goes to crap that is gods problem and so she chooses her human form with lucifer and he helps her find a place and they end up living human lives 

Part Two

Evaluation: Out of the three characters I think that character three best fits my description, I also think that this character has the most potential to make different, to give more to the character than just a power that makes them different or interesting. I think it might be a bit of a challenge coming up with a better pose that shows a better silhouette for the character which still shows off her outfits and specific style but I do think she has the most potential to be a unique and intriguing character.  

Part Three

Part Four

size: 5′4

eye colour: blue

hair colour: brown

body type: slim and fit

world/environment: futuristic version of earth, everything is very money driven, there is a lot of criminal activity, everything is technologically evolved and has quite dark undertones

Part Five

Decide if the character will be in a scenario from your story arc, or presented in an iconic way. - they will be presented in a movie poster kind of way with different symbols from what will happen in the story accompanying her

Do they have a supporting cast or will they be shown alone? - her two best friends are members of her team which might be shown in the poster as they are an important part of her story arc

Do they carry something with them? - she is always carrying her swords and daggers

Part Six

She loves to wear dresses, her regular clothes are very fashion forward, she loves wearing heels however when she is in costume she will still wear dresses but will wear flat thigh high boots instead

Part Seven

Describe what atmosphere your character's world is - It’s a very hectic world, very gloomy and cut throat. There is a lot of black market criminal activity. Heaps of secret parties and the whole world is run on your status, everyone climbing over each other to get to the top. It is very futuristic, all cities and billboards and neon signs etc. 

Part Eight

Part Nine

Character description: Elena was kidnapped when she was a young girl and trained into the worlds most elite killer. Living in a cut throat world the evil organisation ‘Hysteria’ began brainstorming different ways they could reach the top of the ladder and figured that killing their opposition and any one that got in their way was the best way to do it, but they could risk getting caught, so they made her. After years of brainwashing and torture a regular citizen broke through her outer exterior, making her discover her true self and break free. After a 3 year long identity crisis she decides she needs to start doing good and erasing the wrong she has done in her past, enlisting herself in a villain turned hero organisation ‘The Outcasts’ she begins to do this. But what happens when someone from her past begins causing havoc, pushing her closer and closer back to who she used to be.