sams-asks - Tumblr blog

[sams-asks]

Sam your hair looks amazing don't listen to that one person

well thanks anon.

at least someone appreciates it around here.

[sams-asks]

Eyo Sam! I got a can of cheese. Wanna go sit on the bridge and eat it with me?

do i? i’m already there.

start the timer, L… i’m chugging this thing.

[sams-asks]

Everyone's asking about ur parents BUT WHT ABOUT U. UR SO FINE

ok… now that i can get behind.

i’m not all that you say i am, but i can appreciate it.

[sams-asks]

Okay but what about Kent, asking for a friend?

yo… stay away from my dad.

tell your friend he’s married with kids.

[sams-asks]

hey sam! did you know theres a good few flowers in the valley that are apparently hypoallergenic? daffodils found in spring and crocuses found in winter are known to cause less of the sniffliness that comes with most other flowers!

uoffdoze my allergies…

[sams-asks]

I miss my friends, Samson. I miss them a lot. Oh all levels but physical, I am passionately kissing them on the lips.

… that’s one way to show your love.

[sams-asks]

Hey Sammy crosses legs is your mom single?

agh, ew don’t say it like that…

no. she’s married to my dad.

[sams-asks]

SAAAAM :D

*Gives you a tiger's eye And kiss your cheek*

Love u my cutiepie~

who's your cutiepie???

oh jeez. you mean me...

[sams-asks]

Do you wanna

i can’t accept this offer!

[sams-asks]

I ate all your hair jell lmaooo it yummie

i’d be more annoyed, but you should probably get yourself to the hospital.

[sams-asks]

Another anon is gonna steal your dad, I’m gonna steal your mom lmao

not my mom too!

[sams-asks]

hi sam! i hope you're doing well. just wanted to tell you that i love you platonically <3

hey, i love you too anon.

[sams-asks]

hear me out: you, me, cuddle date. we'll make a blanket fort, order some takeout, swap hoodies to snuggle in, find some concert livestream or band fancam comps, and just relax. no thoughts, no plans, no stress, just cuddles and good food. you in?

you really wanna do all that?

you've gotta be after my heart or something... i love that. after this, i might even love you too.

[sams-asks]

Hello Sam stardew valley,

I regret to inform you but I am going to be stealing your father via seduction, he is attractive to me and henceforth I have made it my mission to romance and eventually wed said parental figure. I am aware that this makes thine self a lowley homewrecker, but the flames of passionate adoring burn no matter how hard I resist. But I assure you I will treat him fittingly and show no disgraceful hostility towards your mother or her offspring. Thou included.

Sincerest Apologies and well wishes,

Me:3

uhhh, woah there… you're getting a little too bold, stealing my father away from our family like that. sure he might be a good looking guy to you… but that's still my dad. i'm having a hard time getting on board with that idea, y'know?

come on dude, you can't just go tearing someone's family apart! what about my mom, jodi? she'll be devastated... and what about vincent?!

[sams-asks]

Sam, you ever heard of the hit game Undertale and/or Deltarune?

nope! seb probably has though.

that guy spends a lot of time on his computer.

[sams-asks]

Why does your hair look like that..

hey! is this supposed to be rude?

i try to make it look nice.

[sams-asks]

*headbangs to music* IT’S TIME TO FAAAAAAACE YOUR FEEEEEEARS!

whatever this is, i dig it. woo!