samsphro

[samsphro]

Who's theme by nujabes has always been such a nostalgic song for me. Idk i just always get so genuinely happy when i hear it. Shout out samurai champloo.

[samsphro]

Miscellaneous nonsense

My brain is overloaded rn and im trynna go to fucking sleep so imma just ejaculate all this hyperactivity into this post. Don't invalidate your current progress based off your past. You'll never be your past self again. Time keeps moving on so you need to as well. People get lost in life when they try so hard to resist change. Change is great. Evolving is great. Never be afraid of changes because all that you can do is adapt to them. Charcoal baby is an amazing song and i want to fuck to it someday. Quick break to manifest that I'll be sexy in the next 1-2 months

[samsphro]

j a l o o p e r

Ayo wassup, it's been a minute. Alot has happened. Why tf am i using such short sentences wtf lmao. Anyways uhhh okay so hey future me, its ya boi, nearly skinny penis, because I've been losing alot of weight recently and im proud as fuck of that. I feel so good when i think about how much I've changed since the last post i made. I was finally like "fuck it, im tired of being this fat fucko, its time to boss up and flex on my ex" and now here i am, well on my way to doing that. Its a struggle but I've gotten way better at not letting myself get off track and quickly correcting my behaviors when i notice im not keeping up with my schedule and routines. These routines are forever changing and will end up shifting focus, but for now those routines have been for the purpose of weight loss. I've been improving in so many diffrent avenues as well. My singing has definitely improved, my music production skills have never been this high in my life. I'm constantly getting better at being social and going out my comfort zone. Idk im just really proud of myself right now and i think tonight is the night where i just needed to officially acknowledge that. Im proud of myself.

[samsphro]

[samsphro]

Also

Fuck girls bruv. This one girl is so fucking confusing. She randomly hits me up and i get so confused. Like once she randomly just messaged me "i love you... you know that right?" And i was like woah wtf awesome and now she dont even hit me up anymore like fuck bruv this shit is fucking wack. I just want some easy fucking sex dude. I wanna be attractive so i can get that stuff. I hate being late to this whole interacting with people and reading situations smh.

[samsphro]

Oops

Well i started drinking yesterday so thats cool lmao. It was with dalton and his friend pam, who is this lady who has access to alcohol and doesn't care if we drink. Dalton had a beer and a glass of Jameson and after a while i just decided to be like fuck it and ask for a sip. It tasted like rubbing alcohol and cough syrup. Shit was gross. But i got hooked and asked for more and more sips. Fast foward and now im tipsy hahaha. We grab his boxes he was getting to move and walked to the bus stop. Got on the bus and out of a fight of piss anxiety, i pee inside my water bottle. Not my proudest moment but at least i didnt piss myself hahaha. After that we just went to his house and made pizza. Today i was hanging with dalton again and his girlfriend natalir came home with some 4loko and and she offered me some so i took a couple good swigs and got just a l i t t l e tipsy. After that we went to gabes to help clean the basement and as a reward we went to jazz's house and got baked as f u c k

[samsphro]

Vømïť

I woke up this morning feeling like im gonna vomit. Im still not sure if it's gonna happen or not. Idk if it's because im shook up about max's message or because i didnt eat dinner last night. Idk im like 75% over this whole situation, but the 25% left is still fucking with my head. God i want to puke my guts out. I feel so shitty. I hate my body and wished i was skinnier. Hell i might even consider becoming bulimic but I don't think it would be a good idea. I just want to feel good about myself goddammit. I want to not be paranoid that everyone just thinks im a disgusting fat fuck. God i hate myself alot.

[samsphro]

Yoinks

Welp i tried to talk to my ex about just how shit went and me being sorry on my part and all they had to say was "i have a boy friend and don't want you in my life" so that's cool. It hurts a little but like i kinda feel the same way. And i did basically have a fling with someone like while max was under the impression i was mourning our relationship lmao. So it's whatever, but still hurts. But that is okay. It's okay to hurt a little. I think most of people's heartbreak comes from their inability to recognize that its okay to feel this pain. Like it hurts to believe that you dont deserve something but you're receiving unfairly. But it hurts way less when you realize it's okay to feel this oain and that it'll pass. So goodbye max. ANWAYS IM SUPER HYPED BECAUSE I SHOWED MY SONG TO DALTON AND HE REALLY LIKED IT AND IM SUPER PROUD!! AND HE SHOWED HIS FRIEND CHAZ AND HE SEEMED TO LIKE IT TOO!! SO IM HYPED FOR THE RELEASE OF THE SONG ON FRIDAY THE 13TH

[samsphro]

Whoop

Finally managed to get back in this account lmao. Fuck dude life is hard. Recently just moved into a one bedroom apartment with my mother. We lost the other apartment because someone had rented it before we could tell the office that we actually wanted to stay in the apartment. This situation sucks alot. Especially the moving process dude. Since we're in the same complex, we gotta do a lot of walking to move shit and it honestly starts to wear down on you as time goes on. My body feels weak as shit and I've barely been eating recently, which might be another reason for that lmao. Idk mang everything has been a big swirling vortex of confusion. This whole break up thing has been fucking with me alot more recently because the person i used to date (max) got a new boyfriend. Its like i care and i dont care. I think the reason i do care is because after we broke up they kept telling me all this shit about how they dont think they could get over me and how the breakup will mess with them for their whole life and that they could never love anyone again and yknow just all this other sad shit. It made me feel bad for not feeling the same after we broke up. But now here they are dating someone else and i just feel manipulated. But i also feel like i was a manipulator. I lied to them alot about how i felt just so the break up wouldn't be too bad at the beginning. Which i do feel bad for. I should've just told the truth instead of pretending and having them believe a bunch of false information about how i felt. And the thing that kinda just messes with me the most is that the person they're dating is someone that they had told me not to worry about when we were dating. But i guess it shouldn't bother me because im sure it was true that i shouldn't worry about that person when we were dating because they really did love me alot. Idk I've also just been missing max more lately to. Or at least just missing the memories we had. I had a dream last night that we were just randomly hanging out as friends and at one point i just got this urge to just say let's get back together. So i said "hey" and max said "what's up?" And at that moment i just felt so shitty. I decided not to say what i wanted to say but i felt my body tense up real bad because of me having to suppress it, knowing that in the long run i dont think me and max would last. I miss the comfort of knowing at least one person would always be there for me. Now i just feel alone. Im trying my best to make new friends tho. And I'm trying to just better myself in general. I wanna be happy. Not to be happy to flex or anything, i just want to be happy for myself.

[samsphro]

When you forget your login for months

[samsphro]

Story time: so there was a mirror in my house that was missing a frame so i thought it woukd be cool to take this outside and take a picture of it showing a reflection of the the cloudy sky on the grass, so I snap this pic and take it back up stairs to my apartment. So i'm being gentle and shit with this and the moment i try to set it down on my bed, the shit slips out my hand half an inch above my bed and shatters into pieces. So i'm scared as fuck cuz it's my moms and this was in a time period where anything can trigger my depression. So i start spamming my mother text messages saying "I'm sorry , I'm so sorry etc." And i started getting deep into my depression and anxiety starts telling "the only way to get out of this is killing yourself" and i seriously start contemplating killing myself over this musty ass mirror that can be replaced and shit. Luckily mom got home before shit got too serious. And she just told me the shit can be replaced. I had a therapy session scheduled for that day, so after that little ordeal my mom took me therapy and then continued the rest of the day being depressed af

[samsphro]

C r i n g e

For some reason whenever I see someone use a black hand emoji, I cringe so hard. Like I understand equality and all that shit and i'm black myself but why are white and out here using the black hand emojis. Like what's wrong with the yellow hand emojis?? Why can't a nigga just be happy with yellow hands and shit. I dunno, i'm just bitching.

[samsphro]

I'm sure this tumblr isn't gonna build any sort of following, so i'm just gonna use it as a time capsule so that i can make fun of myself when i become a successful ass musician. Also i'm gonna change the name to this when i do become succesful and make a new one, and my fans can come find it if they want to see 16 y/o Lafall hahaha

[samsphro]

I fucking love this song. One of my favorite Tyler songs. Like the fucking synths just make me feel good and the chorus just gets me fucking pumped up. I love how you can distincively tell what era a tyler beat comes from and even tho i wasn't even aware of tyler and OF at this time because i was a young nigg in elementary school getting in trouble for talking in class, but this song manages to give me a sense of nostalgia

[samsphro]

VENTS INCOMING

I legit have so much shit that i have to get off my test, but mist of the time i hold that shit in cuz I don't feel safe anywhere half the time. Mainly because of my faggot ass step dad. I hate that nigga ao much. Ever since i was in sixth grade, this dude has been dedicated to holding me down and shit. No wonder i barely talk anymore. And no wonder i depressed 80% of the time. I honestly just need a good ass fucking hug right now. I hate everything in the world except music and food. Food honestly is the only reason I wake up in the mornings. But mist of the time i feel sick in the stomach because my Faggot ass step dad's lazy fucking ass is just laying on the couch and i would rather not see his ugly ass half the time. Fucking bitch. I hate you very much, you make my life an absolute fucking hell. But once i get this music popping off, Imma prove to your stupid ass that I'm not somebody you can fuck with. Hell, my hatred for you gives me even more motivation to be successful. Life is a fucking confusing mess. But in other news, I've honestly been grinding so hard on my music. I hope i can get a new laptop soon so that i can get FL studio, instead of using this musty ass website to make music. Anyways, I'm in guitar class right now (WHICH USED TI BE MY FAVORITE CLASS UNTIL I MOVED TO THIS SHITTY AS PUBLIC SCHOOL WHERE ALL THE ART DEPARTMENT GET SHIT FUNDING AND HORRIBLE TEACHERS BECAUSE THEY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT FAGGOT ASS FOOTBALL, but that rant will be saved for another time) and i should probably actually be doing something productive, so yeah.

[samsphro]

Check out my website and listen to my fucking project!!!!

[samsphro]

Welcome.

A decent amount of you guys are from my instagram, @_lafall, and I thank you for being here. I’m mostly going to use this to post some random pictures from my camera roll that I’ll never use. Also I’ll post random old beats and throw away beats, as well as my drawings. And finally I’ll post shit that i love or find interesting. Aaaaaand the occasional vent hahahaha