samuel-and-adam

[samuel-and-adam]

charlieswann‌:

“Just don’t expect me to stay around… I have enough nightmare fuel with desecrated and broken bodies~” The boy said lightly shrugging.

He didn’t agree with the way Samuel did his things. Didn’t agree with him punching whomever he liked. Killing the people that had pissed him off. But that didn’t mean the boy would put his own life on the line. He would walk with Samuel until he had found a new more interesting toy. 

The only thing Charlie just promised himself that was if he would leave Sam alone with whomever he would start running into any directions hoping to bump into Ryder to get Adam back and Sam hidden away.

“Oh please!” Samuel laughed, “You’ve barely seen anything and that’s enough for nightmares?”

Samuel and Adam had both seen enough for a lifetime, and done more than enough to have them locked them away for good. The thought that what Charlie had seen through Samuel was enough to scare the boy was ultimately laughable.

i am both worse and better than you thought / sylvia plath

[samuel-and-adam]

maeveholmes‌:

Just plan. Perfect. “Well thats useful.” She mumbled, setting herself on the side and focusing her eyes on him. “Its hard to trust you dude. You dont even know what your doing” There was a mocking tone in her voice, though Maeve wasnt being particularly malicous. 

“It would be easier to not fuck up if you gave me an idea of where were doing” She shrugged, picking up a bottle and squinting at the small words.

He watched her scrutinise the bottle in her hand and mulled over his thoughts. It wasn’t that he didn’t have a plan, he just had many plans, incase one didn’t work out.  He shrugged and adjusted the bag of pill bottles on his shoulder. 

“We’re going to take these, to sell once we’re out. Security here is a joke, so we’re going to go out the front garden once curfew is in and hop over the front gate. There’s no perimeter guards so it’s just here to the highway.”

Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality - Edgar Allen Poe

[samuel-and-adam]

ADAM HEDLUND is a 15 year old PATIENT in the PSYCHIATRIC WARD. He has been diagnosed with DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER and looks a lot like Froy Guiterrez . 

MAYBE THEY’RE HIDING… 

Adam was one beloved child out of two, born into a home full of happiness and love. Twins; not one less loved than the other. Adam and his brother were close, inevitably – they shared clothing, toys, they even shared personalities. Two little boys, inseparable from one another and so incredibly similar, that even their own father would often confuse them. Despite their similarities, their mother could see the difference – she could see that Samuel was more independent, whilst Adam relied more on the company around him. At the age of eight when they had begun to grow into their own personalities, Adam was still dependent on Samuel. He needed to know that despite his rank in the food chain, his brother would always be there and that, he was guaranteed. Samuel was there until he could no longer be… 

 WE HOPE THEY ARE PLAYING A GAME… 

A horrific accident whilst on their way home from the supermarket, Samuel and his father were crushed by a truck who had failed to stop at a set of red lights. His mother had lost her family and Adam had lost his best friend; the only person who understood him… Samuel had been torn away from him and there was nothing he could do but embrace the ghost that he had left behind. As things spiralled downward for the two Hedlund’s that were still breathing, Adam grew lonely. Whilst his mother detached herself from any positive emotions and grew depressed, she found herself expressing her loneliness in her very own way. Men would come and go, the house had become a mess and at the young age of eight, Adam had been neglected. Whilst his mother had never laid a hand on him, the officials would have deemed it as abuse. 

BUT THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING… 

Becoming more estranged as the years went on, Adam had shrunk into somebody so timid and shy… He needed somebody else who could protect him; somebody who would not take the bullying and taunting that he faced as he grew into a young teenager. It was a strange thing, at the age of ten to create an imaginary friend but that was exactly what Adam had done. A more aggressive and protective version of himself shadowed behind the boy and mostly came into play when his vulnerabilities had been exposed. Having an imaginary friend, meant that Adam felt less lonely but after he had started high school and it became apparent that his ‘friend’ was more of an alter ego, his teachers became concerned. All it took was one single ‘explosion’ at a boy who had bullied him throughout elementary school, for them to wake up and see that Adam had been experiencing more than just the loss of his brother and father, but the ambiguous loss of his mother too. Child Protective Services became involved, the authorities became involved and later, the doctors did too. Adam was found to be suffering a disorder that was not seen often and the decision was made that Brielle Institute was the best place to receive help.

Unfortunately, Adam is TAKEN!

[samuel-and-adam]

ryderstypewriter‌:

“Family doesn’t stick around just cos they want something,” Ryder replied, his tone still even, his voice still quiet. “I don’t have some goddamn ulterior motive, Sam. I’m not keeping you around for you to be a pawn in some diabolical plan. Family sticks together. You know that as well as I do.”

That was something he’d hard to learn the hard way. Through guilt, through losing his siblings, through losing his parents. Family was a word he’d had to reconsider and reconsider until it had barely held meaning anymore, the letters floating around each other in seemingly meaningless orders. 

The first time he had called Adam his brother he had realized that the kid was family to him, and a family he would stand by and protect through heaven or hell. When he’d finally called Sam brother, he knew he’d do the same thing for him too.

“You don’t know that, Sam,” he said, his voice gentler this time, softer. “You cant read peoples’ minds, you can’t assume their thoughts. Not everyone starts a conversation because they want something. Some people just want a friend.”

“Nobody just wants a friend,” Samuel spat bitterly, “They want people because they want something. They don’t want to be lonely anymore, they need someone to push their shit off on, they need to think someone is suffering just as much as they are. Nobody thinks, “Oh golly I’d love to have a friend for the hell of it.” And anyone saying otherwise is bullshitting.”

He didn’t have to put much thought into it, the world had shown its cruel face to the boys from a young age. Samuel and Adam didn’t have time to make friends before they were up and running to keep alive.  Everyone they met on the road was out for something. People were all the same. 

“You’re going to tell me that you’re sticking around us just for the hell of it? When we both know it’s some sad bullshit redemption arc for your sad ass life. You feel guilty for everything you’ve done and Adam and I just happen to meet your criteria.”

can death be sleep, when life is but a dream, and scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by?

[samuel-and-adam]

He smiled at her gently. The halls had been loud and raucous lately and Adam had taken to holing up in his room, he couldn’t blame her for being tentative in coming out. 

“I don’t mind you being here,” he told her honestly, “I don’t know what’s going on around here lately but it’s like everyone’s gone off the deep end.”

“There is nothing stable in the world; uproar's your only music.” ― John Keats

@oliviaxaspinall

He hadn’t expected to find anyone sitting in the rec room this early in the morning, but there she was. He was hoping for some kind of solace, and was met with guilt at the thought.  Sleeping since coming out of solitary had become a joke. He was lucky to get two hours a night, so he’d taken to roaming the halls. Staff was scare, and security was scarcer so he wasn’t afraid to get written up. Besides, he’d been in solitary, what worse could they do to him. 

Taking a deep breath, he walked further into the room towards the girl curled up on the couch. He’d only talked to her a handful of times, and lucky for her Samuel hadn’t flagged her so Adam was safe. 

“Sorry,” he ambled over sleepily, “I didn’t think anyone was in here and I just wanted the TV before everyone else got up,”

[samuel-and-adam]

elliotxharper‌:

“I…–Thanks…” He said with a couple of nods, trying to fake a quick smile. He still felt bad for being so scared of nothing, and making this guy comfort him… “Anyway, um–….This is kinda… random and all, and… and it’s completely okay if you don’t want to, but…– I saw a ping pong table in the rec room, and… was kinda wondering if– maybe you’d wanna…. I dunno, like– play with me or… or something?” His best friend had a lot of cool stuff in his basement, one of which being a ping pong table! Lucas was definitely better at it than Elliot, so he ended up losing a lot… but he always had a fun time playing. Plus, maybe playing would be a good distraction.

Adam tried to think back to the last time he played a sport. Ping pong was a sport right?  He’d played soccer when he was little but Sam was always better at sports than he was.  But right now, after all the hell Brielle had put him through, ping pong sounded like the most normal thing in the world and Adam couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

“That actually sounds really amazing.”

[samuel-and-adam]

“That doesn’t look very good,” Adam bit his lip, “I’m pretty sure the doctors are here to help people like you.” 

He didn’t mean anything by it, but he second guessed himself the second the words slipped between his lips, “It just doesn’t look like a normal nosebleed is all.”

samuel-and-adam‌:

“Do you need me to get someone?” Adam asked tentatively. 

The last thing he expected to see on his way to the gardens was someone bleeding out in the cafeteria. There was so much blood and panic kick started against Adam’s chest. He wasn’t sure what to do, if he could do anything at all but he couldn’t leave the boy to bleed out. 

Killian was always torn on whether or not he should accept help for his bleeds. Because there wasn’t really much anyone could do in the moment, his nose would simply stop bleeding when it stopped. But on the other hand, there was some comfort in having a doctor around for reassurance.

“Uh…” Killian hesitated, dropping his saturated tissue onto the plate and swapping it out for a fresh one as his nose continued to drip. “No. No, it’s all good. I’m sure the doctors have more serious problems than nosebleeds to deal with. Thanks, though.”

[samuel-and-adam]

Samuel shrugged. He couldn’t really care who was on the other end of his fist or what would come afterwards. He’d dealt with a bunch of different people a bunch of different ways.  Some lived. Some didn’t. That wasn’t his problem.

“The only concern I have right now sweetcheeks, is who’s responsible for throwing my brother and I in the hole. Depending on their reasoning they’ll have a life to continue living.” he tossed a smile at Charlie, “Gonna need a really good reason though.”

i am both worse and better than you thought / sylvia plath

samuel-and-adam‌:

“So talk to me, Chuck,” Samuel threw an arm around Charlie’s shoulders, steering him out into the hallway, “What are we doing today?”

The last time him and Charlie had been out, someone died.  Samuel wasn’t opposed to it. He’d been locked in solitary for no reason, which meant someone had said something and Samuel wasn’t about to let it slide. Not after what Adam had gone through. Not after Samuel failed him. 

“I’ve gotta run around and ask some questions, so unless you had plans that’s what we’re doing.”

Stop with the fucking Chuck! It wasn’t that he hated it. But the boy most certainly didn’t like it either… “I was planning on doing some studying, but I can clear my schedule as long as you won’t stab another patient with a scissor in the neck!”

It had not been long since Charlie had found out it had not been a dream.  The killing of a patient by the boy beside him.  IT still gave him nightmares. And even made him doubt about going near Samuel… 

“I’m fine with asking questions but please refrain yourself from killing or breaking bones… Even though I might not talk your victim might…”

[samuel-and-adam]

maeveholmes‌:

samuel-and-adam‌:

maeveholmes‌:

Maeve tapped her nails along the cold door, chosing to be oblivious to his reaction. She had noticed it; sure she may not have been the best with people, but she wasnt entirely stupid. She just couldnt be bothered to acknowlegde it. The drumming of her fingers followed an irregular, rapid beat, almost an echo of her quiet rage. 

“None of the cameras work?” Maeve glanced up at the dead camera in the hall, scruitinising it. “Good to know.” That would make it easier to cause mischief. Finally she tunred back to look at him, letting the door close again with a click. “So whats your plan.” It was maybe a lucky thing that he had something she wanted, the offer of escape. 

Plan. Because of course he needed a plan. Much more than just steal a bunch of medication and walk out the front door. 

“Plan” Samuel stated flatly, “My plan. I just need you to trust me, and follow me and don’t fuck this up.”

He’d thought about it. He’d thought about it a hundred times. It wasn’t the most concrete of ideas, but it was something. Sure that something looked alot like, try this and this and this until something gives, but it was a plan.

Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality - Edgar Allen Poe

[samuel-and-adam]

ryderstypewriter‌:

The smell of coffee curled around the both of them, like a big, warm hug. For all their initial awkwardness, Ryder was really glad he’d seen the kid, had talked through all the anxiety. 

There was nothing in this world that Ryder would trade these boys for.

“Oh, Adam,” he said gently, just squeezing him tighter. After twenty years of being an older sibling, he still didn’t really know how to handle crying aside from hugging. “It’s alright, kid, it’s okay.” 

It’s alright, kid, it’s okay For once Adam wasn’t afraid to trust the words. He felt hope in believing it really was going to be okay.  There had been so much fear in thinking about life after Brielle. About what would happen if, God forbid, Ryder lost his job. Where would Adam go? He’d likely be released before he was of age which meant back into the system, and they wouldn’t survive the system.  Now they wouldn’t have to. Ryder would be waiting for them. Ryder was going to give them a home and a family, in every sense. 

“It is okay,” Adam cried into Ryder’s side, “It’s okay.”

[samuel-and-adam]

Adam twisted his hands together anxiously, he felt as though he was causing trouble and immediately felt guilty for it. He scanned the table quickly, hoping to find his book and go. 

It wasn’t a book that was checked out often, if at all, but Ryder had recommended it at first and Adam had enjoyed it the first three times he checked it out. Of all things to be strict in Brielle it was their library times, so he’d had to check out the book multiple times to read it over again. 

Anxiety leeching at him, Adam finally found the book. He thought about reaching for it outright, but kept his hands against his stomach, hands still twisting. 

“I was just looking for the book on Mythology you have there, if you still need it it’s okay,”

samuel-and-adam‌:

The problem with borrowing books at Brielle was that you had to give them back. After Mexico they put a halt on outings, and stripped certain peoples rooms. Certain people unfortunately pertained to Adam, and they had taken everything before he could ask Ryder to hold it for him.  So he was stuck with the library. The small, pathetic, one bookshelf, library. 

When he’d come in he knew what he was looking for. It would be in, grab the book, out. It took him almost too much time to work up leaving his room. Since his two weeks in isolation he’d grown accustomed to his small quiet room. But now he was out of books. 

Looking at the shelf, twisting his own fingers nervously, what he was looking for was missing. His heart picked up. He looked around the room quickly and found the boy. He was focused, disheveled, and had almost every book on the shelf in front of him. 

This wasn’t rehearsed. He wasn’t ready for this. He hadn’t meant to approach him, he was just going to loop around and see if the boy had it before retreating to his room. But then the boy spoke up. 

“No, no I’m sorry,” Adam stammered, “I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to- Nevermind it’s okay nevermind.”

“No really it’s okay,” Peter reassured him. He felt he understood the other’s trepidation. He had always tried to avoid conflict as best he could, ruffling as few feathers as possible. 

He pushed the pile towards the boy, giving what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “Please, help yourself. It was rude of me to take so many for myself. I really don’t mind.”

[samuel-and-adam]

“Do you need me to get someone?” Adam asked tentatively. 

The last thing he expected to see on his way to the gardens was someone bleeding out in the cafeteria. There was so much blood and panic kick started against Adam’s chest. He wasn’t sure what to do, if he could do anything at all but he couldn’t leave the boy to bleed out. 

“Fuck.” Killian pressed a tissue to his nose, pinching hard as the blood welled from it. It felt like nosebleeds were getting more common for him, and they never cleared up quickly. Didn’t matter what medication they put him on, his blood wasn’t getting any thicker. It had already dripped onto his lunch, which was fine because he didn’t have an appetite anyway, and his tissue was already saturated, and just like that his mood was ruined. 

“Don’t.” He warned, feeling someone’s attention on him. “Leave it. It’s fine.” 

It wasn’t fine. He’d probably need to find a doctor if it didn’t stop soon - and it wouldn’t stop soon, because it never did.

[samuel-and-adam]

“When I hit you, you’ll know it so don’t even pull that shit.” Samuel snapped.

She continued to mouth off, back straight, arms and legs sure. She knew what she was doing, or at the very least liked to put off that she did.  And then she moved, and her eyes went wide before she caught herself smoothly. Sam had to give it to her, she was quick.  But Sam was quicker. 

“I’m not afraid to hit you. I gave you a warning, so you’d know when it was coming. I’ll hit you,” he shrugged, her earlier assault rolling off him, “But it won’t do you or I any good. I’ll bet you don’t even know where you are.”

samuel-and-adam·:

She was feisty, he had to give her that. There was a fire in her, an unwillingness to back down. Sam thought he admired it.  Then her hands were on him.  Adam’s panic exploded in his chest.  Her face was in his. Her breath too close.  There was no fear from her, and only anger from Samuel.  She shoved him back and he lost his footing for the briefest of moments. 

“I’m going to give you five seconds to apologize for that,” Samuel exploded, “My brother has a strict ‘no girls’ policy, but I will knock all those teeth out of your fucking mouth.” 

Anyone else would have been dead. He would have knocked anyone else to the floor. But Adam’s emotions were wild and frantic, lighting through arms and through his fingers, anxious waves against his chest. 

“Don’t you ever, ever, touch me or my brother again is that understood?” he seethed, anger dripping off ever inch of his words, “Touch me again and I’ll kill you.”

“Really?” Sloane responded quickly, head cocking to the other side sharply - her thick curls bouncing with the movement, “You really must be stupid. Because the way I see it, you hit me, you’re asking to get hit.” As she spoke, a hand reached up to take out her earring instinctively, but then she realized she wasn’t wearing her earrings anymore. Where they had gotten lost in the shuffle between almost dying and being transported to a… Rehab?

She picked up her speech again, after a brief moment of acknowledgement brushed over her face, “And you just told me you’re afraid of fighting me so I guess it’s up to you whether or not I need to apologize.” 

So much of what he said didn’t need to be addressed. After last night, she wasn’t afraid of dying. Only Sloane knew what she saw and felt when she almost didn’t make it. She didn’t know if she’d ever tell anyone what she saw. 

Her eyes rolled down his body with a small amount of judgement in her eyes. Her knees were ready to bend if she needed to dodge, she felt like he was just on the edge of a cliff and all Sloane needed to do was blow him and he’d tumble. 

[samuel-and-adam]

“So talk to me, Chuck,” Samuel threw an arm around Charlie’s shoulders, steering him out into the hallway, “What are we doing today?”

The last time him and Charlie had been out, someone died.  Samuel wasn’t opposed to it. He’d been locked in solitary for no reason, which meant someone had said something and Samuel wasn’t about to let it slide. Not after what Adam had gone through. Not after Samuel failed him. 

“I’ve gotta run around and ask some questions, so unless you had plans that’s what we’re doing.”

i am both worse and better than you thought / sylvia plath

samuel-and-adam‌:

Samuel looked at him for a long time. Mulling over everything the boy had said. After a long silence, he burst into laughter.  He threw his hands up in the air and pulled Charlie in for a side hug.

“You’re right!” he laughed, “I have hit you harder, and who knows there’s still time!”

What the fuck was his deal..? Charlie didn’t know. Didn’t want to know to be fully honest.  He couldn’t care less about Samuel and his fucking behaviour. Didn’t care about the fact the boy was laughing beside him as he pulled him closer, his face still lightly throbbing from the thrown punch.

“There probably is~” The boy said lightly shrugging. It was all a game. Charlie knew. But he didn’t care. Let him think he was playing along, especially since he was just playing along. 

[samuel-and-adam]

“Because no one gives a shit!” Samuel snapped, “Because nobody wants something for free, because nobody just keeps around a couple of sixteen year old kids for nothing. Nobody does that, not even you. Everyone wants something.”

It was a sad truth that Samuel was forced to learn. Being on the road, being on the run, he’d had to give up more parts of himself and Adam than anyone should have in their lifetime.  Everyone wanted something. Ryder wasn’t any different. Ryder couldn’t be any different. 

can death be sleep, when life is but a dream, and scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by?

[samuel-and-adam]

If Adam could have hugged him any tighter he would have. He buried his face in Ryder’s chest, breathing in the scent of cheap detergent and coffee.  Home. Ryder had become their home.  Something tugged in his sternum, and a warm tightness intertwined itself in his ribs; blooming. Hot tears pricked the corners of his eyes, and he couldn’t help the sob that bubbled up from deep in his chest. 

“Thank you,” Adam fought to keep himself together, “Thank you thank you.”

samuel-and-adam‌:

Ryder hugged Adam, and Adam curled closer against him. 

“I don’t know,” Adam’s grin was painful against his cheeks, and he welcomed it, “I don’t know I guess I never thought about it before. I didn’t expect you to want to do this.”

This.  Giving him a family. This. Giving him a promise.  This.  Giving him a home. This. Giving him a future. 

In a sentence, in an innocent sentence, Ryder had given them everything. 

“You��re my brother,” Ryder said again, his grin the widest it had been in a while. “I gotta be around to annoy you and Sam for the rest of your natural lives. Someone’s gotta be the stick that pokes that particular sleeping bear.”

His hands curled in the back of Adam’s shirt and he kept the kid close. Family. This was his family, these boys were his family. His brothers. That was a word he hadn’t been able to use in a long, long time.

“I’ll start researching as soon as I can. There’s no way in hell I’m losing you,” Ryder said.

[samuel-and-adam]

“There is nothing stable in the world; uproar's your only music.” ― John Keats

@oliviaxaspinall

He hadn’t expected to find anyone sitting in the rec room this early in the morning, but there she was. He was hoping for some kind of solace, and was met with guilt at the thought.  Sleeping since coming out of solitary had become a joke. He was lucky to get two hours a night, so he’d taken to roaming the halls. Staff was scare, and security was scarcer so he wasn’t afraid to get written up. Besides, he’d been in solitary, what worse could they do to him. 

Taking a deep breath, he walked further into the room towards the girl curled up on the couch. He’d only talked to her a handful of times, and lucky for her Samuel hadn’t flagged her so Adam was safe. 

“Sorry,” he ambled over sleepily, “I didn’t think anyone was in here and I just wanted the TV before everyone else got up,”