samuelbooker

[samuelbooker]

I’m in the bed of someone who’s about to read this. check your beds

[samuelbooker]

If I were a wizard I'd exclusively learn spells that would mildly inconvenience my enemy like 'SHABAM PEBBLE IN SHOE!' or 'WAZZAM EYELASH IN EYE!' or even 'SHABADABAM THE FEELING YOUVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING IMPORTANT BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT!'

[samuelbooker]

*turns to dust and blows away in the wind in a very 90's cartoony fashion*

[samuelbooker]

Still not a clue what I'm doing

Feels like I'm hurtling down the freeway doing 120 when my steering wheel suddenly breaks off

Might just post some of my favorite obscure tunes and see how it goes from there

[samuelbooker]

One of my favourite post formats is when someone with a similar URL to op torments them like they are failed clones of each other and it completely changes the tone of the original post.

[samuelbooker]

Atleast I'll be funnier after

I will turn you into an OSHA violation

[samuelbooker]

i am going to make Gordon Ramsay enter your house while you cook.

[samuelbooker]

Feeling bold, might go outside today, test my luck, see if god decides to smite me on this day, maybe, might try to fist fight god if he tries to, feeling ambiguous

[samuelbooker]

When you forget your snack in the microwave and it gets cold and gross

[samuelbooker]

[samuelbooker]

I raise you Anime Girl Cthulhu on a hike

[samuelbooker]

Where can I get a job playing with rats and how do I qualify for said job?

Finally some good fucking news

[samuelbooker]

Eating a gummy worm. Do NOT try to eat the other end while I'm distracted again.

[samuelbooker]

God is a punk ass bitch of course Eve didn't listen to his stupid ass

[samuelbooker]

Me and my mutuals rebloging the same post

[samuelbooker]

When your hamster shoves an entire stick of zucchini in his cheek and then goes about his day. 🤣

[samuelbooker]

I nearly didn’t make it. I was held up at immigration yesterday.