sandiwchirlinreal

[sandiwchirlinreal]

So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.

I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.

People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.

I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.

I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.

I want you to keep all that in mind.

So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"

My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.

Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.

When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.

"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"

I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.

Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.

When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.

It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.

[sandiwchirlinreal]

[sandiwchirlinreal]

Better, non-IQ and non-Wojak version of the meme I just made

[sandiwchirlinreal]

[sandiwchirlinreal]

[sandiwchirlinreal]

It's Miku Day, 3/9, so here's some art of here and her Triple Baka friends! Neru my beloved I took away your speaking rights for the meme.

[sandiwchirlinreal]

actually the real reason why so many trans women are becoming doggirls is so that we can get into womens' sports on air bud rules

[sandiwchirlinreal]

yeah sorry we took your canon male character and made him a butch dyke. no yeah it didnt change his appearance hes just a butch dyke now. sorry. hes infinitely cooler now if that makes u feel better

[sandiwchirlinreal]

The fun thing about picking up a cat from the street is that they know a negative amount of rules and will commit entirely new crimes

[sandiwchirlinreal]

Woke up at 1am to make this

[sandiwchirlinreal]

it really makes you feel like you're losing your mind when the last decade of cis allyship has consisted on yelling "trans women are women!" ((but doing nothing else)) and yet now a worrying number of them can't even recognize transmisogyny as a **women's issue** and not a secret, separate thing

[sandiwchirlinreal]

Positive affirmations:

I deserve a halberd

I should be given a halberd

People want me to have a halberd

I can be trusted to own a halberd

I will be given a halberd one day

People will think my halberd is incredibly hot

[sandiwchirlinreal]

ralsei addresses the allegations

ft. Wynton Yang, Bri

Edit: youtube upload here, please help me game the algorithm

[sandiwchirlinreal]

Nader Al-Anqar ( @abdalsalam2000 ) is a Palestinian teenager trying to raise money for his family of seven (parents, brothers, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew) to escape the genocide in Gaza, and for his father to get treatment for cancer.

He's been active on tumblr for a long while now, and was one of the first to have their campaigns vetted: #4 on the gazavetters list!

He recently reached his initial goal, €50,000, but was forced to extend the goal to €80,000 because they are waiting for the crossings to open in order to travel to safety and the cost of food in Gaza is now so expensive.

Please continue to support him in his effort to keep his family alive and safe.

[sandiwchirlinreal]

HE SAID IT!! HE SAID IT!!

[sandiwchirlinreal]

My brother just woke up telling me “We are now hearing the loudest explosions from air strike more intense than anything we’ve experienced since the war began.

You can help my brother by to donating to the paypal account you can find it in my pin