sanya-zpg - Tumblr blog

[sanya-zpg]

[sanya-zpg]

[sanya-zpg]

Lovers ought to be treated like well loved books, gently, but passionatly enough to feel them come undone in your hands

[sanya-zpg]

Poor thing

She thinks she's really happy

She thinks the little hearts and the views

They will bring real happiness

But if I show her reality

And he realizes how empty it is

It would be worse

Let her live in this illusion

It's a gift

Leave you thinking

That all this is good

Before I kill her

[sanya-zpg]

I identify as the ghost of the person I used to be

I identify as an empty husk where no one has resided in the last twenty years

I am a haunted house

A broken thing that was never used

A lost soul

A wandering breeze that dies at sunset

A star that has died thousands of years ago but her light still travels through the emptiness to reach earth

I identify as something more than this decaying flesh

I identify as the concept of something godly

I am much more than just human

[sanya-zpg]

and it was a metaphor but for a world we did not know

[sanya-zpg]

You looked me in the eyes for a little too long to "not have any feelings for me".

[sanya-zpg]

Vincent Van Gogh // Clarice Lispector

[sanya-zpg]

“reasons not to kiss her 1.) this sort of love is not allowed. you are both too soft, and the world around you is all knives and chipped teeth 2.) no one ever taught you how to love. your war paint and scarred hands could never hold her like she deserves 3.) no one has ever loved you this full surely you would drown in it all 4.) she belongs in a museum, and you are merely here to gaze. look around you, all the signs scream ‘do not touch’ 5.) she touches you like youre fragile, and if you break you wont be able put yourself together again 6.) she is all bubblegum skies and chapped stick kisses, and you cannot watch the love run out of another persons eyes 7.) if you jump, she might catch you, and then youd have to watch as she tumbled through the dark 8.) her gaze is too gentle. you will not be the one to tell her that not everything can be fixed with a smile 9.) she is so good. she is so good, and you cannot ruin one more good thing 10.) you will not watch her crumble under the weight of your sins. she is too light, too breathless to be caught up in the dizziness of your heart reasons to kiss her 1.) she loves you, and her eyes are closed, and didnt your mother ever tell you not to leave a good thing waiting”

— lessons in listening to your heart, and not your head

[sanya-zpg]

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

[sanya-zpg]

I think at this point I dream more out of habit than nostalgia. I don't wake up and yearn, just remember how ridiculously bored I've becomed.

[sanya-zpg]

[sanya-zpg]

[sanya-zpg]

[sanya-zpg]

I wonder if you ever wear my necklace anymore. I remember spending hours on the street markets, looking and looking for something for you. I wanted it to mean something, I wanted it to say what I couldn't:

For me the sun rises and sets on your skin, I have never seen anyone quite like you before and I can't look away now.

It obviously doesn't matter anymore, I stopped being welcomed in your house and your heart a long time ago. But I care, I think a part of me will always care.

[sanya-zpg]

“You don’t know distance until you’ve shared your bed with someone who’s falling out of love with you.”

— Beau Taplin

[sanya-zpg]

He says "no."

Hard.

Tries to articulate his feelings -

It will ruin your body.

For my enjoyment.

And that is what I have become,

An object.

A pretty face with unmarked skin

For him.

Not a person, not in and of myself,

But something in relation to him.

And I am his.

But I am not for anyone's pleasure.

So I told him I was leaving -

I am done and I am gone.

@nosebleedclub May 14th - Taking Control