sapphic-spud

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every time i wanna complain abt my job or how underpaid i am i just think, it could be worse. i could have this job but in america.

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Doctor: You have pcos and you’re basically infertile

Me: Okay, than is it possible to have my ovaries removed since it has a lot of negative effects on my body or will that cause worse complications?

Doctor: I wouldn’t recommend it, what if you want children in the future.

Me:

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my role on tumblr dot com is to scroll through thousands of posts and only reblog the good ones for you to see like your personal tumblr pasta strainer

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That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

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When I am feminine it is in a masculine way and when I am masculine it is in a feminine way. What’s not clicking.

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Receding hairlines are a hoe trait. Male pattern thottiness

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Absolutely not having a good time

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i'm hotter than i think i am but i'm also uglier than i think i am. won't elaborate

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u know when i was 12 i just kinda assumed the cullens' cover story worked bc a 23 year old is obviously an Adult and no one would question why or how he adopted like five kids between the ages of 17 and 20 but now that im in my 20s i have come to the conclusion that everyone in forks knows the cullens are vampires bc they all took one look at carlisle "i look like im fresh out of undergrad but im a doctor i swear" cullen and his gaggle of nearly-adult "children" and collectively called bullshit

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i think my cat is on crack what should i do

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I procrastinate so much that I have a gaping hole of dread inside my chest where I think my other emotions are supposed to go. unless a potential employer is reading this, in which case I don’t do that & I have all the normal emotions that human beings have & I love capitalism

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gender is a coin that everyone said was gonna land on heads or tails but i turned mine into one of those pressed pennies from the museum. it’s got a dinosaur on it

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the fact that 2016 was 5 years ago and 2022 is just 4 months away is making my eye twitch…. need a support group for people who can’t process the linear progression of time

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god having a procrastination issue on top of executive dysfunction is so exhausting

like i when i finally get the motivation to do a task executive dysfunction kicks in and i get fucking stuck in paralysis

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my mutuals as family members pt 1

@slushy-cube : 2nd oldest, very wholesome

@ifoughtgodbehind711 : ollie’s partner (everyone’s favorite)

@imapursoon : wine aunt (idk the nb term for aunt T-T ) gives the best gifts at holidays

@imaverycatgirl : sister! 2nd youngest

@sapphic-spud and @chicksweedithink : twins! middle children, have the best collection of nature in the family

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i’ve literally never been more obsessed with a tiktok comment