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Worlds Apart — the Harpy and the Mermaid

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sickening

also the baby! she's really exited :)

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So about Time Travel Tobirama

He gets back in his childhood, the period when Kawarama was already dead, but Itama still alive, just cuz I like Itama alive and well, ok. (also i love the idea of Itama the weed shinobi by @oh-no-its-bird so)

And he starts to think and strategise smth like "Ok, I need to kill Black Zetsu, but idk where he is. But he should be around Uchihas, so I must come closer. But I cant just go there, we're not in peace, they'd kill me. And I don't exactly know when Black Zetsu is gonna try to manipulate Madara. So I also have to monitor Madara and make sure Izuna doesn't ever dies, to ensure that Madara won't lose his shit".

So, he's really logical and his conclusion was "So the easiest way to monitor the Uchiha clan is to marry an Uchiha." But he can't just marry a random Uchiha, it'd be shitty for politics he is the clan heir after Hashirama after all + it'd be nice way to strengthen peace via marriage. Plus he needs to keep close eye to Madara. So. Marrying Madara it is. Or Izuna. But first of all, Izuna is annoying and second he still needs very carefully look for potential signs of Black Zetsu corruption and it's better to do that when they're in close quarters. So the best case scenario is Madara's hand in marriage.

Killing Madara might be easier, but Hashirama would be sad. Plus I think the ppl who helped him to be sent in the past (coughnaruto who said that) told him smth about that Madara and Hashirama are Indra and Ashura reincarnations and be like "What if daddy Sage gets angry..."

So yeah no killing Madara. Even though he kinda wants to.

And to be clear, he had this plan in the few days he's back in his baby body. He's like 10-12 or whatever, when Hashi starts running to the river to meet Madara. Oh and Itama is safe and sound cuz Tobi said fuck Butsuma and went to safe his baby brother.

So one day Tobirama follows his brother to the river to actually meet Madara before his father decides to fuck everything.

So, Tobirama's the most fucked up honeypot mission officially begun. Tobirama is gonna be like "Ok i need to impress a 12 yo... But I cant just show him a cool jutsu, he might think about me as a rival or whatever... Kids like praise and cool things... Maybe I can tell him that he's cute and find him a cool stick? Should I ask Anija to make a cool stick?"

He meets Madara (without a stick, Hashirama might've suspect smth) and be like "Wow, Anija who would've known you've made such a cute friend" (Tobirama is hard cringing in his head, he's not the best in honeypot missions) and Madara, being about 12 year old, is standing there covered in mud, cuz Hashirama threw him into river or whatever + the little hc that he's kinda ugly when he's in his teens. Like Madara thinks of himself as strong and cool, but not particularly handsome with his wild hair and eye bags.

So Madara is smitten cuz wow pretty boy with red eyes said that He's cute!!!

Tobirama looks at Madara's dopey smile and thinks of the first phase as a success. Now Tobirama starts to spend some time with Hashirama and Madara to monitor their surroundings from their clans, while Itama distracts their father, and also try to win over Madara when he is still an impressionable kid. Plus he starts hinting that they may be Senju and Uchiha and that they should be prepared. But well they're kids who wants to escape all that war and just play with a peer so.

Long story short, Madara be like "So we're gonna make a village and then I'm gonna marry Tobirama!"

Tobi "fuck yes, a bit ahead of the schedule, but sounds good, i'm in"

Hashirama is outraged bc THATS HIS LIL BROTHER!!!

So Tobirama plays hard and makes Madara promise to marry him when they're old enough.

But then well, they're still found out and they still have a fallout cuz of their clans. But Tobirama made them promise to try hard for peace (and marriage), so now they just have to wait til Butsuma dies and Hashirama can become a clan head.

Tobirama tries not to be so efficient at killing Uchihas cuz he will be their family later so he tries to avoid it and just knock out or use some non lethal methods. Hashirama mostly fights Madara and it's almost sparrings at this point. Itama works on his weed empire and learns healing.

Well one day Butsuma dies and Hashirama and Tobirama bully their Elders and rush to try for peace. Tajima (who I think is still alive) is suspicious of all of it and stalls af.

So one day on the battlefield Tobirama says "So, marriage when? You promised asshole", making all the Uchiha and Senju stumble and "HUH?!"

So now many of the Senju and Uchiha now know that Uchiha clan heir apparently proposed to the Senju heir ??? Everyone is confused.

Madara, still crushing hard on Tobirama, catches this opportunity and bullies everyone to allow peace and let him marry Tobirama. Uchiha allow it only cuz everyone knows how crazy Uchihas about loved ones and Madara is the strongest one. They kinda afraid that if they won't allow it, he'd go crazy (he would).

So Madara gets his trophy wife Tobirama, Tobirama gets his safari zone with Uchihas in their natural habitat.

Tobirama is a surprisingly good husband to Madara, cuz with all that Zetsu thing, he's attentive as hell. "Something bothering you, dear husband? Do tell me everything."

At first they think he'd learn things and will tell that all back to Senju, but Tobirama tries to assure them "I don't really care about details. Tell me about how it makes you feel." (he looks for the signs of Zetsu corruption)

So basically Tobirama marries Madara to become his therapist. Madara is very much in love and constantly brags how much his spouse loves him and that he always listens his worries.

Izuna is mad as fuck about all of it btw. He thinks that Tobirama has ulterior motives and hides something. (He's right. ) But Tobirama dutifully plays his part as an attentive spouse and makes plans for bettering Uchiha clan just so that the village won't suffer. He'd probably would prescribe them regular therapy for everyone who awoken Sharingan.

also @fashionredalert write a snippet for this au with madara in the mud! pls check it out!

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Tobirama knows his way to Madara's heart is flattery

Alt text below

[first picture, Tobirama and Madara are holding hands.

Madara is freaking out internally, 'OMG WE'RE HOLDING HANDS'

Tobirama is looking at his brother at the back and thinking, 'what's up with Anija? is he jealous cuz I have Madara's attention? That might be a problem'

Hashirama is sulking and lil angry whispering at the background, "he stole my ototo... What kind of best friend does that?! He didn't even ask for a blessing!"]

[second picture. First shot is Madara showing off his Great Fireball jutsu to Tobirama.

Tobirama, clapping his hands, "wooooow", *unimpressed but surprised cuz Madara is strong for his age*

Second shot Tobirama hugs Madara's hand and says "you are so cool, Madara <3"

Madara shyly scratches his head "oh, you think so?"

Tobirama thinking, 'c'mon, Anija, fire jutsu. Think! Who uses Great Fireball? The sooner you both know about our clans the better. I don't need any unnecessary drama.'

Hashirama, "I can be cool too" ]

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@justsomeoneunordinary it's quite an old comic, and I actually have a script of the second part somewhere in my notes, ahah. But here you go.

I want you to know that they're both in Hashirama's haori.

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Kitties sketches

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I'm not sure which option is better

Sharing body AU

I'm a firm believer that Shen Jiu is not gonna be normal about Shen Yuan. In a scenario where they share a body, he would hate it at first. There is some kind of parasite in his mind, and he can't get rid of him. He hates it when something is out of his control.

However, it is also comforting? There is someone who can't leave him, who sees all his vulnerability and rot inside his soul, but he's still there, no matter what. He will stay by his side.

Even if they fight, Shen Yuan tingles something in his brain with his different worldview, especially as this brat believes that people aren't born bad. Too forgiving.

In the beginning, he wants to him gone asap, so he tries to find different ways to get rid of him. But the more he spends time, the more he understands that he should stay he is too dangerous to let go. Obviously, he knows Peak Lord's secrets, so Shen Qingqiu can't let him do unguarded. He's safer here, with him.

The boy has so much vitriol but is still too naive to notice other people's intentions.

So we end here with Shen Jiu's weird situationship with Little Bodysnatcher and the weird codependency they establish meanwhile.

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i went to the aquarium the other week and hand to god every single seahorse was pregnant. it was like ao3 in there

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Big Ass Merman AU MadaTobi Bonus:

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“That’s not my name.”

Tiktok

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Modern AU

Shang Qinghua: Oh, Mobei Jun is coming over today

Shen Yuan: It's about time I meet your girlfriend

Shang Qinghua: He's here!

Mobei Jun: ...hi

Shen Yuan: Airplane, that's a man

Shang Qinghua: So?

Shen Yuan: You said you had a goth gf!

Shang Qinghua: No, I said I had a big tiddied goth gf, and he is!

Shen Yuan: Well...

Shen Yuan: ...

Shen Yuan: They are big

Shang Qinghua: I know, right?!

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In Fanfiction, Shen Jiu usually falls for sweet shixiong Shen Yuan, but what about feral internet troll Shen Yuan?

Disciple: Head Disciple Shen should watch who he associates with. I've heard that Shen Jiu has been going behind the sects back to fuck whores

Shen Yuan: Well if Shen-shidi is fucking your mother, then maybe she'll end up giving birth to a better son!

Shen Jiu: That's him, the man that will one-day be my wife

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Mic to Binghe 🎤

Would you love Shen Qingqiu as a demon?

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family portrait lol

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This is basically what happened after Jin lan city right