sappyshadesofblue - Tumblr blog

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

I'm so lonely

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

Im just a trash bin for all the unwarranted emotions you're too embarrassed to claim in the public eye. But I'll keep your secrets and accept your hidden kisses. After all, I'm just your side chick and your just the one I project my love onto. It's a win win. Until we both get hurt.

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

Delicate as a rose in winter

I am not a fabulous red

Nor am I a bodacious size

All I do is wither under the weight of ice

Useless to the world of flowers

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

I'd rather dream all day then live my life. At least when I'm asleep I have some control. At least when I'm asleep good things may happen.

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

There's a weight on my shoulder. It takes a certain form I can not look in the eyes. Whispering cruel jokes to my cold ears, it haunts me. Like my daydreams, like my secrets.

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

Come to think of it

I don't think I ever mattered

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

Love hurts. Sometimes it's worthwhile. And other times it's just painful. The worst part though is that once it starts, it never really stops. There will always be that ache in your heart. If you're unlucky enough for nothing to come of your love, it'll hurt until you die.

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

Is it bad that I can sit at home for two months, completely alone and not get a single text or call from anyone? I feel invisible

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

We all reach a point in our lives when we feel lost.

This is mine.

Emptiness brings a new meaning-a new depth. It's like time is a lie, reality is a lie, and everything is just made up. I could sit here for eternity and not a second pass me by. And at this point I'm numb. I sit in this forever spaning white place in my mind and not even a single emotion passes through me. Just silence.

Have you ever felt like this?

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

I think of the soft velvety touch of grass

On my face and along my neck

Like kisses

It sends a thrill down my spine

Just a thought can do such a thing

As bring to life a feeling

So I open my eyes and look to you

My lost one

Shrouded in black thunderous clouds of doubt and mystery

I sit and wonder what is running through your head

What dark twisted things chase you

If a mere thought has such power

What about a touch

But

I am of no comfort to you

Though I try

My touch seems to caress cold skin

And my words fall on far off ears

Yes far

Millions of miles from my bleeding heart

It is not me who can wander into the darkness after you

For without your thoughts eye

How will I see your steps- your path

It is hidden from me

Just as your mind is

Millions of stars away

As dim as my fading hope

Yet 

Still I kiss your stone cold cheek

As if I may bring some warmth to you

To no avail

You still turn away

To leave me all alone

Far from you 

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

Like Bubble Gum

Sticky

Over chewed

And bitter

I stick to the bottom of your shoe

Wishing you wont notice how desperate I am to stay there

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

I look myself in the mirror and realize the reason I'm so unhappy is because THIS is not who I want to be...

[sappyshadesofblue]

Dear Diary

On a personal note, I’ve been on the verge of tears for the past few days. Just an excess of emotion filling me from the bottom up and turning me a sickly shade of blue. You can read the loneliness in my gaze like a sappy fortune cookie no one asked for. So I sip my tea and babydoll blink to keep it all in.