sarah-alex02-blog

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Plot Twist

There we sat in our favorite park. It was a bright sunny day, though the air just didn't seem right. But I was with her, so I knew it was all okay. You could say that she was the love of my life. My eyes were definitely set on her. The wind was sailing through her bright ginger hair contrasting against her pale porcelain-like skin. I gazed into her deep blue eyes and it felt as if I was lost at sea. The freckles that covered her face was like a puzzle that I have seemed to solve one too many times. 

A dog’s uncontrollable barking suddenly snapped me out of my gaze and I realised my angel had tears streaming down her face. I noticed that people kept staring at us weirdly but I decided to shrug it off since they were probably just concerned about my precious Violet. Her bright blue eyes were now dull holding a red tint as her hands trembled.”Violet, babe are you okay. What’s wrong?”, I gently spoke as I held her cheeks to wipe away the tears. ”Asher, there’s something I have to tell you.” My heart dropped as if a ball and chain was weighing it down.”Yea babe?”. My blood runs cold as I nervously await for her response. “Do you remember the party that happened at Janet’s house?” I nod slowly as she continues to speak, trembling with each syllable that flows out of her mouth.”When I left you to go to the washroom... these two guys dragged me into Janet’s room and started to do things that I didn’t like.”My heart started to ache with anger and sorrow as she paused and started to choke back her tears. I tilted my head towards the ground as a tear starts to stream down my face, not wanting to show her my vulnerable state and the emotions I feel towards her. She frantically wipes her tears as she continued her story.”I was so drunk that I was going in and out of reality, feeling so helpless as their cold hands were touching my body.”I hold back my tears as I grab a hold of her. “Babe, babe it’s okay. You don’t have to continue.” I hold her head towards my chest as she clenches onto my shirt finally being able to release all her emotions.

The rest of the day felt like a blur as I spent the rest of the day making sure she’s okay as I didn't want her to be alone at this time. It was around 9:30 p.m. when I dropped her off at home giving her a kiss goodnight, and telling her she was strong. As I was leaving, I felt a gust of wind and noticed how dark and dusty her house seemed. I turned around not keeping it to mind as her parents always seemed strange. I walked down the final two steps when I heard a crunch beneath my feet. I shifted my gaze downwards as my eyes settled upon a dried flower wreath. Crouching down to read the ribbon, “Be..lo..ve...? Oh whatever.” Ignoring the weird tingly feeling I felt trying to read to ribbon, I started my trek back home. The only thing that came to mind was my angel Violet. “How could someone be sick, violating someone, stripping them of their dignity. She was intoxicated, could barely walk, she gave no consent.” The more I thought, the angrier I began to feel. “I should have been there. I shouldn't have left her alone. I should have been her protector, but I let her down. Never again. Never again will I allow this monstrosity to happen to my muse. For her to ever feel that violated.” 

My footsteps finally lead me back home, as I sulked up the stairs. As soon as I opened the door I was halted with my parents questions. “Asher, where have you been. Do you know the time?”, my mother exclaimed. “Calm down it just took me longer to walk Violet home.” “Violet? Um son are you feel okay? Did you take your pills today.”,my father asked worried. In an angry tone I answered “Yes my girlfriend. Violet. Fuck those pills, they make me feel all out of it. I can’t even see Violet when I take those damn pills.” “Phil, it’s happening again,'' my mother whispers, only angering me more. She slowly comes over to me grabbing my arm trying to take me up stairs. “Honey let’s get you to bed, and maybe tomorrow we can go back and see Dr. Richard.” “NO! I’m not going!” I yell pulling my arm out of her grasp. “Son that’s enough, come on let’s go upstairs” “NO STOP GET AWAY FROM ME, that’s it”. I march over to the front doors, yanking it open as it slams against the wall creating a hole. “ASHER, ASHER” I hear as I sprint towards the forest, needing to be alone. 

Unable to run anymore, I crouch down to catch my breath, I realized I wasn’t anywhere near home. Deciding to take a shortcut through the cemetery, I followed the muddy path towards the place I’m supposed to call “home”. As I walk through the cemetery, I saw a flash in the distance, my curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to follow it. As I got closer, I hear the jewels placed on the tombstone calling my name, begging me to touch it. I trace my finger across the name, “V.I.O.L.E.T L.A.W.R.E.N.C.E”. I froze, falling backwards as if I was hit with a ton of bricks. My eyes blurred with flashes and old memories. “AAHHH”, I yelled clenching my head. It was too much. 

I started sobbing as that night at Janet’s replayed in my head. I realized that when she got raped in that room, she didn’t come out of there alive. I start to imagine her piercing screams calling,“Asher! Asher!” but no help came to her. Had I not been playing beer pong with the boys, maybe I would’ve heard her screams for help. I lie on the ground, unable to move, as sadness takes over my body. I start to cry and wail like a baby wanting his mother’s breast milk.”My girlfriend was never there. She’s dead.”

Narrator: David was so traumatized when Violet died that he always pretended in his head that she was alive, and eventually that became his reality. Him comforting her about what happened actually took place in his head, not in real life. It’s how he wanted the situation to end off, but unfortunately the situation wasn’t in his favour. A mix of guilt and sadness has taken over his life and his mother gives him medication so that he can try and live a normal life, but recently he stopped taking them. He starts to realize that he was all alone in the park and that’s why people kept staring at him weird. It all started to add up when he remembered the dried flower wreath on Violet’s front door step. “Beloved daughter. That’s what it said, `` said Asher to himself as he continues to lay on the ground, helpless and drained of all his energy. He thinks about her smile as well as her beautiful ginger locks. Everything they could’ve been. May Violet rest in peace.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Colours

Red feels like the soft velvet petals of the roses. It has a tart but sweet taste like a cherry bunch. It can create burn marks on your hand like fire. Just like how you can feel red from feeling heat, you can also taste it from eating something spicy. Smooth but bumpy like strawberries. Sounds like sirens of emergency vehicles ready to save a life.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Proud to be Indian

Often times what we wish for doesn’t come true. This is because if the universe gave us everything that we wanted, ultimately we wouldn’t work hard to get it. One thing I would wish for is that I would be 100% proud of my ethnicity. Although I don’t do it as much anymore and I’ve learnt to embrace my culture, at times I can still catch myself hiding my ethnicity. From time to time I take a bomb ass picture in my ethnic clothing but think that it’s too “cultural” to post. Occasionally I don’t even bring Indian food to school because it has a strong aroma that can even make zombies want to die. In those moments what I failed to realize is that India’s beautiful and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Its bejewelled and colourful clothing, the flavourful and spicy cuisine that modifies depending on which state you go to, and its one week long wedding festivities are what makes Indian culture so distinctive. In every country there are faults, but that’s what makes it so unique. No matter what, your ethnicity is your ethnicity and you can’t change it. If you are Kenyan, you’ll stay Kenyan and if you are Italian, you’ll stay Italian. As I munch on my ladoo (Indian sweet) while writing this, I can definitely say that I’m proud to be Indian.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Is Society too Dependant on Technology

Is society too dependent on technology? I think yes. People can’t survive without technology and their whole world revolves around it. Six years ago when we had an ice storm and there was no electricity nor wifi, a wave of panic swept through the GTA and kids didn’t know how to spend their free time. I often times find that many people don’t live in the moment because of technology. For example, people record everything they do and don’t savour the moment. Now before you all come after me and say,”Sarah, you do the same thing!”I'll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of doing this. I record the memories because I like to watch it later and have it as a keepsake, but this is something I should try doing less of. I realized that I’m not really enjoying the full experience when every five minutes I’m recording what’s going on at an event. It’s ok to take a few recordings here and there and post it on social media, but by recording the full event and primarily just watching it through your phone, you’re just experiencing the event like everyone else that will view your video, which doesn’t make your experience any more special than theirs. To give another example, often times people can’t even survive without the internet. If someone needs to learn how to do a task like cooking for example and their internet goes out, instead of going to the library and finding a book on how to do it, they’ll just wait until the internet comes back so they can resume their activities. This really shows how dependent people are on technology. Often times adults that went through all of grade school, high school, and either have a degree or diploma, still use a calculator to calculate simple problems like 25x3. I understand using it for bigger numbers and sometimes it’s used because of its quickness, but I feel that if you start using it for simple problems, you start to depend on it and will forget how to solve them without a calculator. Another example is that nowadays, people don’t even remember another person’s phone number from the top of their heads, but just have it typed into their phone. Back in the day, my mom used to make me write down both the home phone number and her cell number ten times each. She said that this would help me remember it just in case of an emergency. Now that we are in the era of smartphones, the majority of people don’t do that since they can just type someone’s number into their phone. What they fail to realize is that if something happens to their phone, all their contacts are gone. All in all, I believe that people are too dependent on technology. Technology’s a good invention, but when one can’t do simple tasks without it, that’s when it becomes a problem.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

No Sleep

“Daniel wake up!” I hear my mom’s voice yelling from the main floor as I open my eyes. My eyelids feel as if they’d been glued together for centuries and I start to get up and take off my soft fur blanket. As I walk I can hear my bed calling me back, but I resist. I really regret taking a 15 minute nap.”That stupid science project”, I say to myself. Like when you think about it, why does our teacher want us to make and paint the solar system. Will painting help me get through life? I don’t think so. As I slowly get ready for school, I can feel my eyes slowly shutting and I feel like im going to collapse. I get to school and my first period class is math. I can feel my body starting to get weak and my vision is all over the place like the scenes from a movie on a scratched DVD. Somehow I got through the day but I could say that if the director from the walking dead saw me today, he would definitely hire me to be apart of the show.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Life Lessons

1. It doesn’t matter what other people think. I think this life lesson impacted me the most because for a lot of my life, I would just live for others and not do what truly made me happy. This is because I cared so much about what people thought and I did whatever it took to please them. After a while I started to realize that no matter how much I try to please others, it just won’t be enough for them. Unfortunately I only realized this 3 years ago and not earlier. I started to do things for me and not give a shit about what people said at all. I realized that people will talk shit about you anyways so you might as well live life the way you want to live it. I was unapologetically me and I still am to this day. 2.If you can’t handle negative comments, then you’re not ready to be successful. 3. You always need to learn how to say no 4. Just because someone else is beautiful, that’s doesn’t mean you’re not 5. Stay away from toxic people, they’ll tarnish your happiness 6. You need to be flexible in life 7. Communication is key for successful relationships 8. Not everyone will like you 9. Not all things work out the way you planned 10. Sometimes you have to listen to the people that tell you what you don’t want to hear

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Goodbye

“Muthe, I have something to tell you. My cancer’s gotten really bad and I won’t live for long. I know you’re too young to understand what cancer even is, but I just want you to know a few things before I leave. After I’m gone, times will be tough but just know that you, your chechi’s, and mommy will be there for you no matter what. You’ll learn how to ride a bike, do science, and love yourself all on your own. Although I won’t be there for you when you graduate or have our first father-daughter dance, just know I’ll be there in spirit. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because people like that don’t want you to succeed and want to see you fail, so don’t ever give them that satisfaction. You mean everything to me and never doubt yourself. You’ll grow up to be a smart and independent woman. I love you.” 

Fast forward 13 years and here’s something I wish I got to say to him.   

Dear daddy,

                     I wish you didn’t leave so soon. I wish you were around when all the kids on the playground used to talk about what they did with their dad for Father’s Day and all I remember doing was making you cards and placing it on your grave. I wish you were there when people said that I came from a broken family because there was no father figure. Whenever I heard this I used to run to the bathroom with tears running down my face like a cross country runner trying to finish the race. Although in some ways I benefited from you not being around, I’m also angry that God took you away from me. He didn’t even think about how me and my sisters will grow up, not even once. The 4 and 9 year old that’s going to grow up without a dad, or the 12 year old that’s going to have to throw away their childhood and start acting like an “adult” to be there for my mom. My mother’s late night sobbing, not knowing how she’s going to raise three kids on her own is something I can never get out of my memory. God made me go through the pain of realizing that many people don’t keep their word and say things like “you can ask me for anything”. It’s utter bullshit I tell you. Although your death was more bad than good, I would definitely say that your death has helped me be much stronger and has prepared me to always be ready to battle whatever life throws at me. I’ll love you forever daddy.

                                       Love,

                                                  Sarah 

[sarah-alex02-blog]

My Sister

There we sat, my sister and I, in our family barn, laughing and reminiscing on the past,                                                                                                             

We talked for many hours and I never realized how time could go by so fast.      

A silence came, then she said,”Sarah, when I move, will you miss me?”      

Flashbacks of us came back to me, and I thought to myself,”Honesty is key.”    

As I was going to answer, I thought more about our memories from before,      

About how much we would fight or about her favourite sweater I tore.                

Just when I was going to answer, I started thinking about our good memories instead,                                                                                                              

The snowflakes we used to cut out with scissors and how she taught me to make banana bread.                                                                                              

She indeed taught me a lot of things and will make an amazing teacher one day,                                                                                                                        

“Yes, yes I will miss you” with my tears being in the way.

As we embraced each other, hugging with all our might,

I reassured myself and started to say,”Everything will be alright.”

My sister is my other half and my friend,

We’ll always stay connected till the end.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

There I Stood

There I stood, putting on my shining armour, ready to battle my struggles:         

 The struggle of not being confident in who I am,                                                    Constantly looking at the prettier girls around me goddamn.                                The struggle of always comparing myself to mankind,                                           I actually had a uniqueness to me I just couldn’t find.                                      The struggle of seeking other people’s validation,                                                  Never living life for myself was my biggest frustration.                                          The struggle of caring about what others thought,                                                By doing this, anxiety was the main thing that was brought. 

Here they are, one by one, standing in front of me ready to fight,                          I knocked each struggle down, which really took all of my might.                          I stand over all of my struggles and insecurities, which are now in the past.         I think to myself,”Free at last!”                                                                                I’ve conquered.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

The Orphan

I’m currently in an orphanage. I spend most of my days counting the fibreglass tiles on the ceiling and reminiscing about how life was so good with my parents. I remember smelling my mom’s freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on a cool, crisp fall afternoon, then breathing the fresh air while playing soccer with my dad in the spring time. What a life. I still hold onto the corduroy teddy bear my mom gave me for my 8th birthday. It really makes me feel like part of her is still with me. Quite often I look out the window to see if my parents will come back from the dead, and that my aunt was lying. I picture them to come running to this hell hole, bearing lots of gifts and kisses. Nobody in this place loves me as much as my parents did. I have no friends and everybody in this orphanage treats me like I’m nothing. The only friend I have is the little boy that sits in the chair across the room. Tim is his name. He always tells me how he sees my parents everyday with angel wings and filled with laughter. They always tell him to tell me not to worry. I guess that means that they’re coming back soon? Nobody else can see Tim but me and often times people think I’m crazy for talking to an empty chair. They make me feel like i am crazy, but that can’t be right. I know my parents will come for me soon, but for now I will have to survive in this hell hole, where no one really cares about me or even likes me. I’m like dirt to their shoes. I am an orphan. I am alone.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

I see a creation story. A blurred background filled with hues of pink, yellow, and orange like a cotton candy sunset. A ground filled with dark, lifeless leaves but a glimpse of a green curve is seen like a snake in the garden. I see a bubble as the focal point amidst impure vegetation. Within the bubble, one can see a living plant watching its brothers and sisters die. Its miniature leaves starting to form on its newly made stock. The distorted sun from the background shines through the bubble creating specks of light like an array of fireflies.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

I stood there and felt the breeze as it scurried through my hair,

Excitement was definitely flowing in the air.

The lake as I saw was as still as a mirror and was the clearest it could’ve been,

I could feel my fondness for nature growing from within.

Through the trees, I hear birds chirping and the sun shining in the distance,

At that moment, I thanked God for its existence.

The greenery around me was eye-catching and smelled incredible,

That day itself was definitely unforgettable.

As I walked through the nature and realized that nature was my first love,

I said,”Thank you for this creation” to the man above.

[sarah-alex02-blog]

Whys?

It was third period biology. Lisa and Caleb were assigned as lab partners. They did not know each other that well and although Lisa was not new to the school, she was not that good at making friends. ”This period is going by so slow”, thought Lisa,”No one is talking and I feel like digging up a hole and hiding in it.” Fifteen minutes of pure silence felt like nine dog years. Lisa noticed that Caleb was repetitively yawning and decided to ask what was up with him to break the silence. Before she asked, she stared at his eyes. It looked puffy and watery, which started to greatly concern Lisa. She asks,”Are you okay?” He turned to her, with the look of exhaustion on his face and says,”I’m so tired.” Lisa asks “Why?””It’s because I have been sick for a whole month” says Caleb. With a stunned look on her face, Lisa, quite nervous but curious asks,”Why were you sick for so long?” Not seeming to be phased at all, while poking at his dead frog, responds,”My sickness was going away but I took a shower at Camp White Pine and I went outside with wet hair.” When Lisa heard this, a rush of memories came to her. She remembered how her mother used to always tell her not to go out in the cold with wet hair or else she would fall ill. As she continued to think more about her mother and her “amazing” adventures of being sick, she realized that she had totally zoned out from her conversation with Caleb. ”Sorry but why did you go outside with wet hair?” said Lisa. Realizing that Lisa was thinking of him as foolish, he says,”I had paint and flour all over me so I took a shower and ended up forgetting my towel.” Confused, Lisa asked,”Why did you have paint and flour on you?” Caleb replies,”We had both a paint war and obstacle race and unfortunately I fell into the flour.” Lisa, concerned but intrigued by his story, asks,”Why did you join in on the paint war and obstacle race?” Exasperated by the reasoning, he says,”It’s because the grade 9′s on my team didn’t want to so I had to get them enthusiastic and energized.” Remembering her days in grade 9, being energized and feeling alive, Lisa asked,”Why were they not energized in the first place?”Caleb, frustrated, says,”They were freshman and were too shy to even talk.” Chuckling at his statement, that was the moment that a friendship that was going to last for a lifetime has sprouted.