sarah-ankh

[sarah-ankh]

A good chunk of tumblr is someone making a post like "I wonder if anyone has ever applied this unusual, unconventional method to serve this commonplace function", speculating something that could potentially exist, hypothetically.

And there's people in the comments going "I don't know about that, but omg did you know that people actually 100% really do this function in this conventional method normal style? :DD"

[sarah-ankh]

[sarah-ankh]

(gripping the skink with both hands, pale and feverish, sweating and shaking as I look at myself in the mirror) “killing a character is a valid writing choice that can be a crucial plot mechanic and lend beauty and depth to the story as a whole” (wretches up blood into the sink) “even when it’s my favorite character”

[sarah-ankh]

Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.

"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."

"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"

"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."

"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"

"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."

[sarah-ankh]

is there a heat wave where you live right now?

[sarah-ankh]

I’m still reeling over the fact when I went with my friend to a renaissance fair, there was a lady who was handing out samples. My friend took a bite of it and all I heard was

“My lord that’s soap”

[sarah-ankh]

but the good news is:

[sarah-ankh]

shoutout to the time in 2021 I was having scary seizurelike episodes that sent me to the neurologist, after having barely slept all week due to being a nervous wreck over my symptoms and shit.

when I sat down to describe what I was going through to the (young, very soft spoken) phys assistant taking my notes I started audibly almost crying . The whole time he’s furiously working on a tablet thing that I assumed he was writing my symptoms down on

in the midst of me having a mild nervous breakdown during my monologue he slowly turns the tablet to me after closing whatever program he had open and just fuckin stare-smiles at me all placidly til I notice the wallpaper the laptop is set to— a lovingly decorated collage of Lord Farquaad from Shrek

once I noticed I stopped dead in my tracks and we sat there staring at another for a solid minute til I broke down wheeze laughing, upon which he picked up the tablet and scurried off wordlessly. I just sat there dumbfounded til the doc showed up. 10/10 doctor experience ngl

I didn’t own a phone at the time to get any proof so this my best artistic recreation

[sarah-ankh]

😭 I'm 209cm. 6ft 10.

Just saw a post asking how tall people are and now I want to make it a poll. Apologies to people in the fringe height categories, you do not get specifics.

I had to consult a chart for this

[sarah-ankh]

So for members of bdsm Dungeons, it's a rule that you don't approach other members if you see them on public for privacy reasons. They might not want people knowing they're a freak.

That said, it's normal to make friends in that space who you hang out with, outside of kink stuff. When that happens and people asked where I met my friend, my go-to line was "Spin-class," which is a very funny joke if you know me even a little. Very not my scene.

Well, funnily enough, while I was working at a homeless shelter, we had a very similar rule because of the homeless stigma. If a guest from the Shelter sees you outside of work, you don't acknowledge or approach them. They can approach you, but you don't tell whoever you're with where you know them. The guest gets to decide if they want to share that info.

Smash cut to me being out with a friend I met at the dungeon a very long time ago. I bump into a guest from the shelter who approaches me to chat. My friend asks how I know the guest, and without thinking, I blurt out "spin class" before remembering that's my go to lie for how I ment dungeon friends. These two proceed to have a conversation, neither fully understood.

Friend: ooohhhh okay i get it. Spin class! Me too. Stopped taking that class a while ago tho.

Guest. Oh for real? That's sick man, good for you! You got a good set up now?

Friend: The best!! I've taken up wood working so my furniture is all custom. Got plenty of space to do "spin" at home. It's coming together.

Guest: Hell yeah brother!!!

Friend: was really good to have my own space during the rona, but man it's lonely! I kinda miss the group dynamics.

Guest: Yeah, i heard that from my homie when he got out of "Spin class!" But it's for the best.

Friend: it can be, but its not for everybody. Can be safer to Spin in a group.

Guest: i know that. Lost a few homie to "spinning" alone. At least at the "class" you got other eyes on you.

Friend: I'm sorry to hear that! You know some elements of "Spinning" are risky but you never think anyone would get hurt. So, my buddy here still a real hard ass for safety?

Guest: oh man you dont even know. They revamped our whole fire escape plan.

Friend: Oh shit! They did that back when i was in Spin class too!

Guest: still improving the system i guess.

Friend: they still keep a bunch of robes outside in a shed so people who get out can cover up?

Guest: Yes!!!

Friend: Did you know it's their fault we have a 30 second rule!

Guest: Damn really!?! Makes sense tho, if there's a fire you gotta get out fast!

Friend: Yeah, I Never gave it much thought before they brought it up, but yeah the last thing you want is a fire when you're all tired up!

Guest: Yeah, that's true. I didn't know they came up with the rule, tho. I do like having the space between the beds clear...

Friend: Yeah it's so annoying when people block the path with their shit.

Guest: Yeah there's not enough space between beds for people to be hording shit.

Friend: Yeah! I loved that they always got people to keep their area clear.

Guest: not gonna lie i hate being told to clean up but it is better that way.

Friend: Yeah... haha.

Guest: well it was nice chatting with you brother.

Friend: you too, man! See ya around!

Guest: see ya!

Me:

[sarah-ankh]

If I were a cat, I would be a one-orange-braincell type cat

[sarah-ankh]

these are KILLING me

[sarah-ankh]

[sarah-ankh]

Guys, the liquid stuff you use when you make a pen mistake so you have to cover it over, what’s it called?

[sarah-ankh]

Reblog to give a trans woman a warm cup of soup

[sarah-ankh]

Anyways, every transit agency should have a resident faggot to help with the decision making process and make their social media actually good

[sarah-ankh]

Which path should he choose?

The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?