sarcastic-crustacean

[sarcastic-crustacean]

Saw an old lady today that looked like an old lady and was dressed like an old lady except she was wearing big goth stomping boots like this

[sarcastic-crustacean]

panera bread is the only place that’ll probably never spell my name right

[sarcastic-crustacean]

occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

[sarcastic-crustacean]

so funny when 20yo women belittle women in their late 20s, girl that is gonna be you in a time span that’s gonna feel like 3 seconds

[sarcastic-crustacean]

so it turns out that climbing onto a rooftop in the middle of the night does solve all your problems, but i failed to consider that it would create a brand new one

[sarcastic-crustacean]

[sarcastic-crustacean]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[sarcastic-crustacean]

My default setting is assuming people don’t want to talk to me

[sarcastic-crustacean]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[sarcastic-crustacean]

if this aint the cutest shit

[sarcastic-crustacean]

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

[sarcastic-crustacean]

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

[sarcastic-crustacean]

The Powerpuff Girls S01E08

[sarcastic-crustacean]

The Powerpuff Girls S04E07

[sarcastic-crustacean]

[sarcastic-crustacean]

dig dig dig

(via)

[sarcastic-crustacean]

do you think toby ever got inspiration from his fans