Tumgik
sarcasticbambi · 6 hours
Text
Natasha: I don’t usually like people but you seem okay. Peter: I’m yoUR SON??!? YOU adopted ME????
81 notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 6 hours
Text
Natasha: There's a thin line between being a genius and a complete idiot. Natasha: Peter uses that line as a jump rope.
84 notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 14 hours
Text
Natasha: I don’t usually like people but you seem okay. Peter: I’m yoUR SON??!? YOU adopted ME????
81 notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 1 day
Text
Natasha: There's a thin line between being a genius and a complete idiot. Natasha: Peter uses that line as a jump rope.
84 notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
20K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 2 days
Text
i think everyone needs to adopt "i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it" into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders
92K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 2 days
Text
This was hilarious 🤣
A good laugh after work xD
101K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
188K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 2 days
Text
“Lol” hasn’t meant “laughing out loud” in like 15 years… it’s just a word now and more importantly it’s the perfect way to end a sentence lol
123K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 2 days
Text
AU where the real reason Ra's al Ghul has lived so long is because he's a vampire and they were just lying about the Lazarus Pits this whole time
Ra's is a vampire, Talia's a vampire, Damian's a vampire — Talia never actually dunked Jason in the Pit, she bit him.
They're all lying liars who lie and the League of Assassins is full of their thralls
Why lie? Because everyone knows about vampires and their weakenesses and this way no one will ever think to to use silver or garlic or wooden stakes against any of the al Ghuls
425 notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 3 days
Text
Tumblr media
23K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 3 days
Text
I call upon the fan fic writing gods to bless you with the perseverance to finish one of your unfinished drafts. 
May your fingers dance along the letters upon your device with ease, may the devil of distraction stay far from you, and may your work not need much editing.
I pass this blessing upon every fan fic writer out there.
137K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 3 days
Text
No sleep. Only draw.
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 3 days
Text
My baby Jason 😭😭😭
"his desire to prove himself got him killed"
that's a weird way to say his mother lied to him, betrayed him and pulled a gun on him, and then watched while smoking a cigarette as he got the shit beat out of him with a crowbar...
762 notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 3 days
Text
ILL PAY (in hugs) FOR SOMEONE TO WRITE ME THIS PLSAE
(If I don’t fall into desperation and do it myself, can’t promise it’ll ever see the light of day though 💀)
Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled
16K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 3 days
Text
These are GENIOUS and may brake my writers block
I already have a couple ideas heheheheueheuheueheueh
REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS
Too many beds
Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss
Really nice guy who hates only you
Academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class
Divorce of convenience
Too much communication
True hate’s kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)
Dating your enemy’s sibling
Lovers to enemies
Hate at first sight
Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead
Fake amnesia
Soulmates who are fated to kill each other
Strangers to enemies
Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating
Too hot to cuddle
Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground
Nursing home au
44K notes · View notes
sarcasticbambi · 4 days
Text
WHOOP WHOOP it started!! IM EXCITED FOR THIS AND MORE! Good luck lovey 😘
Oracle
Tumblr media
Pairing: Platonic OT7
| Rating: T | WC: 2.6k | Ao3 | Masterpost | Timeline |
A/N: The first part of the WaFB ‘Verse is up!! I’m so excited to share this and I hope y'all like it too. Many thanks to my amazing beta @/sarcasticbambi<3 Keep an eye out for BTS-related references; you never know what might be a clue or easter egg😉
CW: war, minor character death (offscreen), grief
Tumblr media
1398 B.E.
Kragos soared over the army of the Mad Maje’s followers, releasing a cloud of flame. Screams and yelled wards did nothing to deter his searing breath as he burned through hundreds of majes, turning the far side of the battlefield into ashes.
He swooped towards his allies’ side, picking off the few remaining majes who thought they could hide from his eyes with spells and natural camouflage.
Didn’t they know dragons were the apex predators, the closest to nature’s majick, the toughest and hardest to kill? That the majes’ hasty spells would do nothing for them, not when his side had previously drawn most of the majick to their side and disturbed the natural flow?
He almost pitied the now-piles of ash, but they had chosen their side. The Mad Maje was certainly charismatic, he’d give her that, but she was also driven insane by her need for power and immortality. He couldn’t understand how she’d amassed such an army of fanatical majes.
They had given the remaining majes and majikal beings a bad name.
Kragos touched down behind his side’s line and shifted. 
Erbus met him, his lower jaw bloody and his leather armour worn. “We’re ready for the final attack.”
Kragos nodded and strode over to the Commanders’ tent where the remaining members of the Organization were gathered. He ducked under the flap and unrolled the fabric to block out the misty cool and unwelcome ears. The Organization’s only maje mamber, Hess, drew some wards to stop any outside spying, and the leader, Talum, began their meeting.
This final surge had been planned for months as the Organization carefully strategized and spied on the Mad Maje’s forces.
Now it was time to put it into action, and they wished fervently that all would go as planned.
The final battle was bloody and brutal. Kragos walked slowly back into the Organization’s camp, exhausted. The Mad Maje had put up a good fight, taking out his brother-in-arms, Beom. His brothers, Orus and Erbus, were bringing his body back for a hero’s burial rites. Kragos sighed and slumped into a wooden chair by the round table. Humans, even ones with majikal bloodlines, were so fragile. At least Beom had died knowing they had won.
The pants and noise of the remaining members of the Organization alerted him to their return.
“Erbus, Orus, I’m so sorry,” Ryl sobbed. “I should have stopped him, he is always the most hot-headed of us,” she wept.
Hess came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Ryl, it’s hers. She is the one who killed him, not you.”
Kragos watched the scenes of his grieving friends as if they were a stranger’s majik memory manipulations playing out in front of him.
He didn’t even realize he was moving until Curi’s hand met his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“Are any of us okay?” he demanded, turning away and shifting, spreading his leathery wings and heading towards the Mad Maje’s camp.
The cool air and tiny drops of rain hitting his scales did nothing to quench the burning rage flooding his insides. He was a Hahm dragon, after all.
He dropped with a heavy thud in front of the scene of the final battle. Majik scorch marks radiated from the statue of the Mad Maje, where she was frozen in suspension for ages to come.
Kragos’s green lizard-like eyes narrowed as he inspected the defeated maje. She had amassed enough majik and sacrificed enough lives to block their attack and twist the spell into one that simply turned her to stone for a finite time, instead of an immobilizing and majik-stripping spell like they had intended.
For all their planning for the unexpected, too much had gone wrong. Beom had died, hit by one of the Mad Maje’s spells as he attacked with his human sword and strength. The Mad Maje had not been dealt with permanently, though she would be no issue for centuries to come. That spell had been anchored to a protective spell, which prevented them from destroying her statutized self. 
“It will work, hyung. It has to, even if it means one of us must die,” said Beom. 
“None of us will die today,” Kragos turned abruptly away from the human member of the Organization. “The only one dying will be her. Get that thought out of your head. Dwelling on such thoughts will only drag you down in battle.” He turned back to his plans spread across the table.
“She has more power than one maje should, hyung. We’ve been planning for every eventuality except one of us dying.”
“Because that will not happen, Beom!”
Dymi, the third human to join the Organization, entered the tent as Kragos slammed his hands on the table.
“What’s…going on?”
“Beom is telling me we need to plan for our deaths,” he gritted out.
Beom’s warm brown eyes filled with frustration. “That is not what I was saying.” He turned to Dymi. “I was saying that we should be prepared for the possibility of one of us dying. If we are frozen by shock or grief, the other side will have an advantage over us. We need to be able to move forward with the plan anyways.”
“That will not be necessary, because none of us will die today!” Kragos reiterated stubbornly. 
Beom subsided, knowing when he got that taut jaw, it was useless to say anything more, but he let his disappointed aura speak for itself.
With a roar of frustration, Kragos released all his rage and grief in a wall of flame, surrounding the statue and blackening it and sizzling the few green things that had survived the battle.
Even after years of training and preparation and fighting, their win was still a loss.
“I’m sorry, Beom-ah. I failed all of us.” He shifted, dropping to his knees in the muddy field.
The orange and purple-pink light of the sunset touched his face in a mimicry of human warmth, reflecting off the diamond tears streaking his face.
The Organization would never be ten again, only nine. It would never be ‘the Organization’ again, only ‘the remaining members of the Organization’.
~~~☆~~~
Two Weeks after the War
Two weeks after the Maje War was proclaimed officially over, the Mad Maje’s statue was taken into custody by the Bangtan Empire and locked up, kept under majes’ watchful eyes in case the statue’s spells wore off faster than predicted.
The Organization split to their respective species’ haunts for a well-deserved break. They took their lines from the Oracle as a memento and left, too burnt out and broken to even attempt to stay together.
While the humans and unaffiliated majikal beings were relieved and grateful for the Organization’s success in ending the war and disarming the Mad Maje, they questioned why she wasn’t gone for real, when was she predicted to be back, how they could prepare for that eventuality, why the Organization wasn’t staying together; the questions and veiled criticisms went on. 
Travelling to a quiet, peaceful place untouched by the war and living there incognito served the remaining members of the Organization well.
~~~☆~~~
1408 B.E.
Majes and Majikal beings had been steadily persecuted for being Other, with humans in particular terrified that one of the creatures that surrounded them everyday were a supporter of the Mad Maje or were planning on becoming the second power-hungry dictating maje.
Though the Empire’s rulers and the heads of the Empire’s combined lands were not passing any laws or restrictions against the Majikal community, many of its members were heading to the less-populated sections of the land or leaving the Empire for one of its neighbours, which had been affected much less than Bangtan by the war.
More and more humans were afraid of any majik, even though many majes lived among them normally and used their abilities for good for humans and majes alike.
~~~☆~~~
2011 B.E.
“Who was Ilena Bulmyeol?” The teacher slapped a stapled stack of papers down on every student’s desk.
A girl eagerly raised her hand.
“Yes, Areum.”
“Ilena Bulmyeol was also known as the Mad Maje, the leader of the Opposition’s Forces in the Maje War.”
“Very good. This week we will be studying the Maje War.”
The teacher returned to his lectern and cleared his throat. 
“The Maje War occurred from 1393 to 1398 B.E. The main forces were the Opposition, led by the Mad Maje Ilena Bulmyeol, and the Organization, led by Talum Yojeong. Does anyone know how many members there were in the Organization’s head forces?”
A boy raised his hand. “There were 10 members in the Organization’s head forces: Talum Yojeong, Kragos Yong, Orus Jabjong, Erbus Jabjong, Curi Neugdae, Hess Masulsa, Beom Jabjong, Covi Ingan, Ryl Jeontugi, and Dymi Jidoja.”
“Very good, Jeongguk, I see you were reading ahead. Yes, those 10 were members of the Organization’s head forces. They were gathered as an answer to an oracle, which foretold them defeating the Mad Maje. Unfortunately, the oracle in its specifics has been lost to time. It is rumoured to have been destroyed by the Organization’s members, but that is only speculation. Historians have only found a few lines. Their best guess of reconstructing what they uncovered is on page 316. Please turn there now.”
The rustling sound of leaves in books turning filled the private schooling room.
“Minjun, why don’t you read what it says for us.”
The boy stood and read from his book carefully. “Brothers by blood are only three; all seven bound by loyalty, tested, will make [them] strong.”
“Thank you. Now, these lines have kept many historians busy for ages, trying to decipher their meaning and where they would fit in with the complete oracle. As the Organization’s members were from many backgrounds, the lines have been scattered around the Empire, and possibly even beyond it. Can anyone tell me each member’s background?”
Areum’s arm shot up again.
“The Jabjong brothers were the sons of a vampire and a mer, but Beom was born technically human by some genetic happening. Talum Yojeong was fae, Kragos Yong was a dragon, Curi Neugdae was a beta werewolf, and Hess Masulsa was a maje. Ryl Jeontugi and Dymi Jidoja were humans, as well.”
“Very good. As you can see, there is a large diversity among the members. Now, many of these Majikal Beings are more rare and we know less about them, but it is curious to think about how they would have worked together. One thing is for sure: they must have had a very strong friendship. It’s commonly thought that Ryl and Talum were in a romantic relationship, but with the Organization scattered after the War and their wish to stay incognito, nothing is confirmed. Now, about the sides of the war…”
~~~☆~~~
CHAMESH 1ST, 2011
BREAKING NEWS: BANGTAN EMPIRE ATTACKED BY TOOPEEHM KINGDOM
CHAMESH 2ND,  2011
BREAKING NEWS: BANGTAN AT WAR WITH TOOPEEHM
~~~☆~~~
“It’s for your safety, honey.”
“I know, but I want to stay here with you. It’s my place!”
“Jeongguk, your place is to stay safe, so we don’t have to worry for your safety and well-being and we can focus on the war.” His mother hugged him tightly. “Your hyungs will take good care of you. Be good, and don’t worry about us, okay? We’ll be fine. We love you.”
“I love you.” He hugged her back tightly. “Don’t worry about me; I’ll be good.”
Jeongguk arrived at Bomnal Palace in the Kim Realms and was greeted by Queen Mishil. She led him to the sitting room where her sons were hanging out with their friends, the Empire’s other princes.
Six pairs of eyes met his large ones as he took in the room and its occupants.
“Hi, Jeongguk, right?” A tall, handsome young man came over to meet him warmly. “I’m Seokjin, but you can call me Jin like the others do.”
Jeongguk nodded. 
“Okay.”
“We haven’t seen you much;  it’s usually Junghyun with the Emperor and Empress,” said a boy, smiling widely at him and waving. “But Junghyun hyung talks about you a lot.”
“He’s told me about all of you too,” said Jeongguk, smiling shyly.
“I’ll let you boys take care of Jeongguk then, while I make arrangements for you all,” said the queen, and left with a reassuring pat on his shoulder.
~~~☆~~~
Arbah 34th, 2013
TOOPEEHM’S WAR WITH BANGTAN EMPIRE DRAGS ON THROUGH SECOND YEAR
Shesh 7th, 2013
BREAKING NEWS: THE MAD MAJE RETURNS ON TOOPEEHM’S SIDE IN EHM-TAN’S WAR
~~~☆~~~
“I’m back!”
“How’d school go?” Jin appeared from the direction of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his apron. 
“It was fine,” Jungkook shrugged. “Lots of homework, even for the first day.”
“Let us know if you need help,” called Yoongi from the office/study area.
“Thanks, hyung!” he called back, following Jin to the snack he knew the oldest had prepared for him.
Hoseok and Jimin were talking quietly by the island. “With the added help from the Mad Maje’s forces, who knows how much longer this will drag on for. The first Maje War was five years long, and it’s already been two years-”
“DO YOU WANT TO TRY MY NEW CRACKERS RECIPE OR THE BROWNIES, JUNGKOOKIE?” asked Jin, loudly announcing their presence and shutting up the other two.
“Both, obviously,” grinned Jungkook. 
They weren’t subtle, but they loved him and had readily adopted him as their little brother, doing their best to shield him from the news of the war and the unease it brought and raise him to be a good prince, and more importantly, a good person, like his parents wanted.
He had only been able to see them and Junghyun a couple times since he was sent away; all the princes of the Empire had moved to the highest-protected city in the Empire, the Jeon Kingdom’s capital, Bangtandosi, shortened by its natives to ‘Bangtan’ or ‘Tan’.
They lived in a large stone house in the old district, close to Bangtan University where the older princes attended, and a five-minute walk from Jungkook’s high school.
Visits with any of their family members were few and far between, with the war taking up most of the royals’ time and attention, and the need to keep the heirs to the Empire’s location secret.
They seven of them had consequently created a bond closer than just brothers as they adjusted to life as civilians in the middle of wartime. They would do anything for each other, no questions asked.
~~~☆~~~
Sheva 28th, 2018
“Don’t forget your lunch!” Jin yelled after Jungkook, who sped past him up the stairs to his room.
“I won’t, Eomma!” sassed the maknae as he continued running around gathering his last-minute items for his first day at Bangtan U. 
“Yah, you brat!” Jin whipped his towel at Jungkook’s behind when he ran by again. “I make you a good lunch with love that everybody will be jealous of and you call me a mother?! Come back here!-”
Jungkook giggled and slid by in his socks, snagging his lunchbox from the counter as he flew by.
The other members of the house had gathered by the door to wish him off to his classes, or at least the ones who had graduated already.
Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon had attended Bangtan U and graduated well in the years since they had moved to Bangtandosi, and Jimin and Taehyung, who would be accompanying Jungkook to campus, were in their third year of classes.
“Have fun, Jungkook-ah!”
“Good luck!”
“Tell us all about it when you’re home!”
The hyungs waved the maknaes off. 
“Our little Kookie is all grown up,” sniffed Jin.
“Are you crying?” asked Hobi.
“No, it’s just the onions I chopped for Jungkook’s gyeran mari!”
☆ fin ☆
Taglist: @/otome-wandering @bangtanwritershq
4 notes · View notes