sarcasticoverlord34 - Tumblr blog

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Last Names Finish First

I had an english assignment where we had to write a detective story and they gave us a list of random objects to use in our essay right? So one of the objects was a record of the Smiths, as in the band. Well being the clever little shit that I am I told a dramatic story of my life and how a precious record was stolen from my mother. The ending simply ends with the culprit asking “Why was this record so important to you.. its a photo album” and it ends with “A Record of the smiths!”. My last name is Smith.

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Anyone else excited to go through college registration. HAHAHA no. 

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A societal rant

You know what I dont understand? Why couples are so pressured to have sex nowadays. Especially teen couples. For one thing, they are already considered to be immature and shallow. Everyone has this stigma about how teen couples are just useless and just for phyiscal pleasure. Everyone assumes so much disappointment. Why can’t people just live. I have a serious relationship at seventeen years old and I am still a virgin. I am not saying do not have sex, I am saying that people should do what they’re comfortable with without the pressure of society. This is one of the reasons why so many teen couples have early pregnancies, they were pressured into something they weren’t ready for. I mean people should just let other people live. Shut up and live ya life 

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I really adore my boyfriend, mostly because most couples argue a lot talking about the future and he gets SO EXCITED talking about it. We even have the same random habits so I think this will be a solid investment for me. 

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Today’s assignment for my English class is to write about a decision that went against your moral code. Everyone seems to have at least 3-4 and I swear I don’t have any. DON’T BREAK THE CODE ITS THERE FOR A FUCKING REASON!!!! WTF?

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I absolutely adore my DECA adviser, I’ve had him for years as a teacher and he’s honestly more of my friend than a teacher and it’s so hilarious. I bet my college recommendation letter basically said: “C-smith is a bro accept her”. I’m crying

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You gotta love when my senior class president signs his name as “your fearless leader”. Well, sweetheart, you weren’t saying that when you threw a blowout beer party got caught, was scared shitless after you got kicked off the football team that you wouldn’t be president. But classic American government. Thank god he’s white. 

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The craziest thing to happen to me today was when a kid was scrambling for his certificate to get a homework pass and my teacher was timing him and every time he almost ran out of time he would ask for someone to do a certain amount of push-ups so this idiot could get more time. I was not about to do such menial labor. 

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So today was interesting. I witnessed a couple fighting and the girl was DRAGGING him I was like GIRL GET HIM. He was barely paying attention to anything she was saying so she was not HAVING IT. GIRL HAD A FIT LMAO.

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My Life

I work at an internship and basically what I learned was that everyone is an asshole and no one will give my boss money hOW MANY PEOPLE NEED TO BE SUED GLEN 

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Blog time bitches

I haven’t posted in such a long time but since I only have about 5 followers might as well shoot my shot and shit post until I get more. Anyways I will probably start a series about my life AKA sitcom in hell. Welcome to my life, please ignore the demons and shut the door, the screams get loud at night. 

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LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

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Oh it's the most wonderful time of the year where the capitalists emerge from the depths for their victory screech for they have witnessed the biggest exchange of currency of the year and it is glorious

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Reasons why school is abysmal

When you're so tired you fall asleep blinking

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No I can’t do picture day tomorrow I’ll have day 2 hair

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i’m nuts, baby, i’m mad, the craziest friend that you’ve ever had

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To be honest I don't even look in the shower for monsters anymore I just look to check to see if Dean Winchester died in the shower again