sardonic-but-not-unkind - Tumblr blog

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I enjoy how every Glass Animals song sounds like "ouhhhhhh blue sky lemonade like an Arnold palmer I wish u and I were calmer drown the memory of youuu in goji berry water *the strangest noises you've ever heard* hot tub in a swimming pool mind full of Scooby-Dooby ghouls you were always too cool for school hot cheetos and cotton candy juuls *water dripping sound effects*" and it slaps mega juicy balls every time

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fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams

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no guys wait you're my favourite 'what if'? you're my best I'll never know? part-time soulmate, full-time problem? it's me and my plus one at the afterlife? you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with? and I'm just the boy whose had too many chances? you are the sun and i am just the planets spinning around you? joke me something awful like kisses on the necks of best friends? I'm half doomed? you're semi sweet? i carved out a place in this world for two but it's empty without you? scar-crossed lovers, forever? in the end I'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend?

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Scars on your body show that you have lived; scars on your heart show that you have loved.

Nina Dul

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rpf stands for real person FACT

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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

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Trump would be such a good drag queen like just such an unbelievably incredible and talented drag queen it's such a bummer that he's decided to be a fascist and a threat to democracy because that cunt would devour at the House of Yes

such a loss

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IM SO SICK OF YOU ALL

No nuance allowed. please share for a bigger sample 💕💕💕💕💕

*by eat i mean how do you prefer your cereal.

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adam and amanda are the neo and trinity of saw

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i love when flowers close in the evening like good night girl i love you sleep tight

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so i saw this tweet earlier

you too can have a pingus for the low low price of One Thousand Five Hundred pounds quid

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archers gloves vs digital artist gloves being opposite of one another