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sareenademon · 1 year ago

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i’m weak, so what’s wrong with that (reworked)

🏷️: fade to black, bireena, reference to toxic masculinity, and there was only one bed, touch starved bi han, author wrote this instead of sleeping 🤪💀💀

a/n: as noted in the previous version, this is inspired by @ladybug023 spy!Sareena headcanons. gotta give honour to whom it is due.

I know I said I’d upload this a few weeks back and I apologize for the delay. I was wrapping up my finals and I’ll be graduating this week, thank God! 🥰

enough of me rambling about my life, lol, I found myself rereading the previous version and I found myself cringing and I wanted to rework this. I just hope this turns out to be better than its predecessor.

again, I apologize for the delay and yeah, that is it from me.

tagging: @livingdeadgirly

word count: ~3.5k words

also on AO3 (if you’re like me and you despise reading long text on Tumblr)

“Stay still,” she said firmly, lightly pressing the warm wet cloth on his arm, cleaning up the slight gash on his upper arm.

A slight wince left Bi-Han’s lips, a glare on his face as he stared back at the woman before him. His eyes narrowed at the sight of her - her black hair with the white streak tied back to avoid them getting in the way and her face fixed in concentration. She was the reason why they were both here, in the first place - in this little shack in the mountains, hiding from the Tengu.

“You do not command me, woman,” he sneered and her head snapped up to meet him. Her eyes narrowed back at him before she rolled them.

“Maybe you should tend your injuries yourself then,” she gave him a sarcastic smile and almost then he was about to snatch the cloth away from her until she sent him a stare that read ‘are you serious?’

With a huff, he gave in, staying rooted. How can a woman be so infuriating and yet so intriguing? Even more so, how could he be so weak to fall for his protégée?

“We would not be in this situation if you had not chosen to defy me,” he changed the subject and she stared back up at him again.

She looked like she was about to say something but she bit on her full lower lip before turning back her attention to his arm. Almost then, Bi-Han wanted to reach for her head and feel her lower lip with his thumb.

So fucking pathetic and weak.

“We’d have been dead by now if we went with your plans, Bi-Han,” Sareena finally replied. “The Tengu are more advanced than what we had believed and they could have killed us both.”

He quelled the urge to protest even though he knew she was right. They were severely underprepared and lucky to have escaped with only a few injuries.

“We barely escaped with a few wounds, your plans would have our heads on a pike, Grandmaster,” her eyes rolled at his title. Okay, maybe not his title as his father, Zhāofēi still ruled the Lin Kuei.

Yet, he despised how his protégée held his soon-to-be title with contempt. It was a shame he could not punish her for that or even get rid of her - a doing of his father’s meddling. That she was his student was a headache on its own and another machination of his father.

Sareena had walked into the Lin Kuei, defeated a few initiates and managed to win over the hearts of everyone, including his father. For as long as Bi-Han could remember, Zhāofēi was not a man easily swayed by gimmicks and he would know that being the oldest son of the grandmaster.

And yet, all it took was her stepping in to take down her opponents for Zhāofēi to recruit her and place her under his tutelage.

“All done,” she announced finally and he snatched his arm away from her before turning away. “You are unbelievable, you know that?”

He did not need to maintain eye contact to know exactly what her facial expression was right now. He could imagine her supple lips pouting and her eyes narrowing at him as she carried that questioning look on her face.

How can anyone be this infuriating and yet pleasing to the eyes?

He could not lie to himself as much as he wanted to deny it, no matter how much. Those feelings he had kept hidden for the past two years of being her master threatened to break through the walls he had carefully built for years.

Bringing her along with him on this mission was a bad idea. Yet, he could not defy the grandmaster, not even if said grandmaster was his own father.

The relationship with his father has always been tense even before Sareena walked her way into the clan but the tension grew even worse the moment his father insisted on him taking her under his tutelage.

It seemed to be that despite the passage of years, the old man would keep on prioritizing outsiders over his own son.

First, it had been that orphan, the guilt of being partly responsible for the deaths of his family had clouded the judgment of an old man. That same guilt had led to him opening his home to Tomas, not just making him a member of the clan responsible for him being an orphan, but also adopting him as one of his sons.

Even a younger Bi-Han in his teenage years could see how fucked up that decision was on Zhāofēi’s part but he knew better than to question his father. Instead, he had distanced himself from Tomas.

Zhāofēi may have brought him in, made him wear the Lin Kuei insignia but Bi-Han had sworn to never acknowledge him as one of them.

It was so laughable how history repeats itself with Zhāofēi forcing another outsider on him and unlike Tomas whom he could keep his distance from, there was no way he could do that with Sareena.

He had tried every method in the book, from being not just literally but also metaphorically cold. He had even made sure his training was as tough as it could be, after all, he was infamous on the Lin Kuei for not holding back.

To his chagrin, Sareena could hold her own against him, although with a few bruises on her body as evidenced by her visits to the medical room.

To make it worse was this tight feeling in his chest that almost had him breathless each time she stepped into the trading room. That and that feeling which threatened to choke him each time he saw Tomas around her.

Tomas might believe he was hiding his feelings but to anyone who had eyes to see, they were so glaringly obvious that a blind man could see them.

As much as he hated to acknowledge the existence of the gray-cladded assassin, Bi-Han knew when to give the honor where it was due and Tomas was a formidable warrior in his own right. The man had been born without powers of his own and came into this clan a whimpering weakling after the old man had brought him in.

That had not stopped Tomas from training extra hard to prove himself, even to the point of using the ancient books and consulting the clan’s elders to acquire his own powers. If that was not dedication in itself.

But hell, was Tomas too obvious with his attraction towards Sareena. At best, Bi-Han could describe him as a pathetic puppy pining after its owner for a grain of attention. It was just annoying and pitiful to see. Like it is pitiful seeing you pant after her as well.

At least, he knew how to keep those feelings buried deep inside. Until now…

It had to do something with this stupid cramped up shack they found themselves in as a temporary source of shelter. He could only pray to some god out there, probably Liu Kang, that he made it out without succumbing to his weakness.

“Bi-Han.”

And there was his kryptonite at the foot of the door, her hand on the handle. She had an eyebrow raised at his earlier distraction. He could already tell that she had some witty remark in her arsenal by the twitch at the corner of her lips.

“Being distracted is not a good look for the future grandmaster.”

And there it was.

He scoffed, looking away from her. The door creaked slightly, immediately alerting him as he turned his attention towards the source of the sound.

“And where do you think you are going?”

“To patrol. I thought it would be best if-.”

“The Tengu would not find us here,” he cut in before looking up at her.

“You are so unbelievable, Bi-Han. Way too confident that the Tengu would not sniff out our location faster than a bloodhound,” she countered, defiant as usual and it grated on his already frayed nerves.

He was already on his feet faster than he could process it, his frame right in front of her.

“Must you always defy me, Sareena? Do you get a kick from this drivel?”

His stance coupled with his gravelly voice would have intimidated a clan member of a less position. But the woman before him did not seem phased by him and had quite the audacity for someone who was supposed to be his protegee.

“I may be your ‘disciple’ but that does not make me a blind follower of yours, Bi-Han. You cannot just assume we are out of the Tengu’s radar because we are in the middle of nowhere,” she shot back and he let out a huff of annoyance.

As much as he hated to admit it, she was right and it made him turn away as he muttered under his breath, “I will keep patrol and you stay here for the meantime.”

“But your injuries-,” she protested but Bi-Han could already see that from afar as he cut in.

“Will be fine, Sareena. Do not waste your time arguing with me,” he added with a warning tone and he watched her features relax as she pushed lightly at him.

He stepped aside, his eyes tracking her movement from where she was to the bed.

“Since you insisted, grandmaster,” she shrugged, taking her seat on the bed which was weirdly comfortable for one in a little cabin in the middle of nowhere. “Wake me up when it is my turn to take over patrolling.”

He said nothing, letting out a grunt as he made his way outside. It was the least he could do for now.

What was the mission again? Sareena found herself sighing as she melted into the comfort of the bed she laid on.

As much as she wanted to indulge in its comforting embrace and fall asleep, her mind kept on reminding her of how limited her time was. Quan Chi had to be growing impatient, given the kind of man he was.

Aside from the constant reminder of a certain Outworld sorcerer, there was the fact that this day also had to mark five Earthrealm years of Ashrah leaving the Netherrealm.

Being the closest to Ashrah, Sareena had been the first person the former had revealed her plan of leaving to, even extending the offer for her to escape the Netherrealm with her.

“Do you not want to see realms beyond the fiery skies?”

There were occasions when Sareena pondered on why she had declined. Maybe it was the fear of the unknown that held her back, after all, the Netherrealm was what she knew her whole life.

And there was Quan Chi ruling over the Netherrealm like the tyrant he was. The moment Ashrah had left, he had sent out fellow sisters to assassinate her. Given that none of them returned, it was safe to say that they had met their ends at Ashrah’s Datusha.

It had gotten to the part where the Sisterhood of Shadows dreaded being the ones called on to assassinate Ashrah. Aside from the likelihood of being killed in self-defense, Ashrah was still a sister regardless.

Even if she had made the conscious decision to turn her back on the Sisterhood, even if Kia forbade the rest of them from uttering her name, even if Ashrah was forced to have her sisters die by Datusha’s blade.

Five years had passed and now, Sareena found herself in the same position as she believed Ashrah had been those years ago. It had started so slowly like a seed planted in the ground of her heart and allowed to take root before germinating.

Yet, a lot of things hung in the balance, one of them being that she was a spy. She had infiltrated the Lin Kuei under Quan Chi’s commands, the sorcerer forcing her to choose between this or being ordered to assassinate Ashrah instead.

The sadistic smile that floated on the bastard’s smug face was enough to send chills down her spine. It was no secret that she and Ashrah were the closest and for Quan Chi to use that to blackmail her was a low blow.

Despite that, Sareena valued her life more than anything and had made the choice to infiltrate the Lin Kuei without second thoughts. If it mean not being killed by her own sister, then she had no qualms.

Yet, her conscience kicked right at her heart as the years went by. Initially, she had believed that her mission would be a flight through the Netherrealm but it turned out she had not considered the fact that she would get attached to the newfound family she had come to love in the Lin Kuei.

Despite it being her first day after getting initiated into the clan, Tomas had been the first to reach out to her. Then, Cyrax who was also known as Bontle Mohutsiwa had extended a hand of friendship towards her.

Coming from a dog-eat-dog world where the only person she had trusted on an intimate level was Ashrah, encountering these people posed a whiplash to her - a cultural shock.

She had found a new home which she knew would not last long. Not when they would eventually find out the truth of why she was in this clan. She dreaded just the thought of it, the thought of betraying them and the thought of proving Bi-Han’s suspicions right.

It was no secret that he looked down at her with disdain, the way he manhandled her like she was some obstacle to be eliminated.

Sareena had believed that it was understandable why he hated her. Tomas was also in the same boat as she was - they were both outsiders but in comparison, Tomas seemed to fare better as the worst he could get from Bi-Han was a cold silent treatment.

Maybe his disdain for her was not unfounded, she was a spy after all, although he did not know it yet. The truth always had its way of coming out.

The sound of light footsteps was enough to snap her out of reverie, her back almost against the wall as soon as Bi-Han walked in. The scowl on his face almost melted off as he shut the door behind him.

Wasting no time, Sareena’s feet were on the floor as she got down the bed when his raspy voice drew her attention.

“Just where do you think you are going?”

She paused, her eyes staring back at him in confusion.

“It is my turn to patrol, I believe so?” Her tone dropped with a hint of sarcasm as she asked, goosebumps forming on her arm as the temperature of the room dropped down a few degrees Celsius, her sign that that had not gone unnoticed.

“You’d be wasting your time, the coast is clear,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand.

“Still, I-.”

“Were you destined to be a pain in my ass?” He argued, his pointer pointing straight at her and Sareena could feel her blood boiling as she fought the urge to roll her eyes.

“Were you destined to always be…this?!” She shot back at him.

No doubt, he had taken an offence to that as his nostrils flared in fury, “And what is that supposed to mean, Sareena?”

Deciding that this was now or never, she squared her shoulders, also taking a dominant stance as she stared right back at him.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

All the fight in him seemed to have left his body at that question, his brows furrowed at that question. He had expected any kind of question but that.

Why did he hate her? Did he even hate her anymore at this point? He scoffed, turning away from her. Maybe he did hate her.

He hated her for how weak she made him; he hated her for how she drove him to the point of insanity. He hated her for how she dominated his every sleeping and waking thoughts.

There’s a thin line between love and hate, someone had once said and Bi-Han had sneered at that quote, pondering on the nonsensical drivel of it all. Yet, he found himself an embodiment of that very quote.

This was a bad idea. Every part of this, from his father placing Sareena under his tutelage to the old man asking that he took her with him on this mission.

One, she had openly defied him in front of an enemy clan - the Tengu and fair enough, she was right to do so but that had bruised his ego in a way. His healing injuries throbbed as a reminder of that.

Two, he had made the error of thinking he could control himself around her and not succumb to his weakness. The fact that they were both in this shack with tensions running high and thickening the air just drove his point home.

“You know what I think of you?” Her voice broke through his thoughts and he slightly turned his head towards her. He wanted to shut her up, telling her he couldn’t care less what she thought of him but he stayed rooted anyway. “I think you are a coward.”

And there it was, his fists clenching in fury.

“You like me,” she continued and his heart rate accelerated like that of a man on adrenaline rush. “You think you hate me so you can push me away.”

She knew.

“Don’t resort to those delusional thoughts to make yourself feel better,” he sneered, turning to fully face her.

“I’ve seen weaker men fight for their love, grandmaster. Men who would burn the world for the ones they love. You, on the other hand, not even the Tengu-,” she pressed on and that was it from him as the last bit of control snapped like a delicate thread holding the two parts of a rope together.

She let out a yelp as his hand gripped her by the neck, tilting her head back as his lips met hers in an aggressive kiss.

For the first time, Bi-Han felt the tension flee his body, his hand leaving her neck now as the initial aggression was toned down for something else.

A groan escaped him the moment he felt Sareena’s hand roaming his chest and the other moving to let his dark hair down. She had taken over, her lips moving against his until he felt himself pushed down on the bed.

That was new and his clouded mind was the reason why he stared in confusion, his body feeling strangely warm despite the cryomancy that ran through his veins.

His eyes made contact with Sareena’s, her face looking more serene than his with a smirk on her lips. The only thing betraying her seemingly calm composure was the slight heaving of her chest as she straddled him.

“Lost for words, grandmaster?” She cooed, her use of his title not posing a source of aggravation to him for the first time.

He was indeed lost for words, panting like he had just ran a thousand miles. He definitely looked pathetic in her eyes yet that did not bother him a bit.

Her hand crept up to his neck and the irony was almost laughable at this point considering he had first kissed her with a neck grip in a kind of power move.

Her lips met his again, her hips grinding against his and he could already feel his length hardening just from that.

She pulled away from him, a short chuckle bubbling from her throat.

“I have barely touched you, Bi-Han,” she whispered, her hand now moving down to his crotch and his breath hitched as his body shuddered. She hesitated, staring at him, “Do you want this?”

He wanted to growl out in frustration, why was she asking him? He had kissed her first, the fact that she was touching him should be enough proof of his consent. Besides, he could not trust his words.

“Just- fuck, yes,” he groaned. It was his first time doing something like this, another side effect of him focusing on his being the next-in-line.

At least, his inexperience did not seem to drive Sareena away as her hand was back where he needed it to be.

“First time?”

There was a teasing glint in her dark eyes and if not for the heady lust which clouded his mind, he’d have glared at her. Maybe he did because she teased him even more with a gentle squeeze which made his breath hitch.

“I’ll be gentle, if that is assuring,” Sareena stared down at him, her hands leaving him momentarily as she reached to pull off her clothes.

At that moment, Bi-Han felt like a teenager all over again. The thrill of the mission always had the blood rushing through his vessels but this was an odd but not unwelcome feeling that had him going through what might as well be an adrenaline rush.

Maybe he could give in to his weakness for this one time.

a/n: ...so, how did that go? I hope to also rework out of control soon, hopefully, that will not take three weeks for me to do that (let us just hope) and if you want to be on my tagging list, please, let me know. and as usual, constructive criticism is welcome and thanks again for reading. 😄❤️

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