sassgardiantrickster

[sassgardiantrickster]

Maomao: Not to worry. I have a permit.

Court lady: This just says, "Maomao can do what she wants" with master Jinshi signature.

[sassgardiantrickster]

maomao’s dedication to ignoring jinshi’s real identity is truly inspiring. the woman who has solved multiple murders based on minor clues in the environment keeps looking at every sign pointing to jinshi being royalty and going “damn, this could add up to something. good thing I can’t do math!”

[sassgardiantrickster]

maomao is my favorite "not like other girls" style protagonist bc for one shes a girls girl through and through. to the bone. and two she's just a weird little freak. absolute lunatic. they have the whole "omg she's actually beautiful and everyone falls for her when she's all made up" trope but the punchline is that she does not fucking want to look like that. she actively puts dirt on her face every day bc she does not want to be perceived as attractive (mostly out of fear of being used for sex work though at the same time she has the utmost respect for women who do sex work like she grew up in a brothel those are her sisters). she's Sherlock level smart and solves every mystery so fast but goes "well thats none of my business. anyway back to testing poisons on myself" she has the 2nd most powerful guy in the nation head over heels in love with her and is like "man this guy is weird around me what's his deal. I guess he's fine though because he gives me rare medicines and has no dick" fucking ICON i love her. also she once slapped someone so hard they fell on the floor. 10/10

[sassgardiantrickster]

WHO tf keeping pads with no wings in production?? Put it in your draws and by the time you walk out the bathroom it’s down the street buying scratch offs at the corner store. Like girl

[sassgardiantrickster]

Honestly one of my fave posters at a Women’s March

[sassgardiantrickster]

[sassgardiantrickster]

[sassgardiantrickster]

(X) (X)

ETA a new option:

(From a source I will not link.)

[sassgardiantrickster]

Shoutout to the U.S. embassies in Austria, Chile, India, and South Korea who have directly ignored orders from the Trump administration in flying the pride flag

[sassgardiantrickster]

Btw, this is how conservatives keep getting to claim that trans people are a new thing no one has ever heard, because our history and existences have continually been erased or obscured systematically through out history.

The most famous example was 92 years when the Nazis raided the library of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, the medical practice where the term transsexual was first coined and the first gender affirming surgery was performed in in 1931.

What did the Nazis do after raiding the library on May 6th, 1933? You may be familiar with these images

It is happening again.

[sassgardiantrickster]

I’m convinced if ppl on this site knew how crappy gifs look before you color them properly, they would appreciate editors more

[sassgardiantrickster]

I had a dream last night that I was trying to translate something into Italian and I discovered that Google Translate had added several languages that weren't,,, actually languages?

Like they had one called 'Neurotypical' that took cryptic double-meanings and made them straight-forward, and they had one called 'Corporate' that translated bureaucratic bullshit into plain words, but the one that I remember most clearly was called 'Passive-Aggressive Asshole,' and it looked like this -

In the dream I also put in "You're so welcome" and it translated it to "You'd better be grateful, you fuck."

[sassgardiantrickster]

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[sassgardiantrickster]

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

[sassgardiantrickster]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[sassgardiantrickster]

me.

[sassgardiantrickster]

As an adult you must cultivate the skill of “Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.”