sassimeggie-blog

[sassimeggie-blog]

Funny? This is scientific research, blondie. Alright, well then I'll write down another symptom of manstruating is a total lack of a sense of humor, and a very basic use of sarcasm. Really, I'd hoped for something more interesting to come of this weird phenomenon.

Your so funny, how can you stand it?

[sassimeggie-blog]

Meg heard the beep as the phone disconnected and pulled it away from her ear, looking at it confused. Who the fuck had called her and then hung up? She scrolled through her recent calls and saw that it was Eve. Weird. Well... She should probably see what her call was actually about. She pressed the call button and when the phone picked up she started off a little uneasy. "Hey, sorry about that. Diiiid you actually need anything or was that call a mistake?"

"Crap," Eve said, pushing the disconnect button. she hadn’t even known why she’d called Meg in the first place. The girl wasn’t going to be one to be a shoulder. She just hadn’t had anywhere else to go, but the automatically-sarcastic reply had jolted her back to reality. 

[sassimeggie-blog]

Good. And would you quit it with all these weird faces? Is it a side effect of the meds you're on?

I’m alright.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Peter! Would you just fucking shut up?!

Oh, just shut up, will you? No one actually cares.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Hello, you have reached the phone of Megan Ara. If you are looking for Sassy Meg, please press one, if you would like anything else, I'd advise you to hang up and wise up as to whom you're calling.

Pick up, pick up, pick up.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Ooohkay then. Thank you for participating in my research to prove that manstruating is, indeed a thing. Tell me, do your breasts feel tender as well?

Oh gee I don’t know, dumb bitches who try to be a smart ass and fail miserably ?

[sassimeggie-blog]

You feeling alright with all the meds? Not making you woozy or slow, are they? If I can't drink with you I at least need you to be at least an occasional snappy asshole.

I think that’s pretty much it, yeah.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Oh, just shut up, will you? No one actually cares.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Sounds like a cocktail in plastic bottles.

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[sassimeggie-blog]

I don't know what to expect from you anymore, honestly, so please, elaborate.

About as well as you’d probably expect, I guess.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Oh, yes because we needed to add to your overly inflated ego.

That is still so freaky your brother is like your closest friend and confidante. Especially since I started reading game of thrones. Yes, sounds like the perfect afternoon to me.

Finally I get my rightful title. Sure,coffee works for me.  I suppose I’m due some human interactions from someone not related to me. We can get over caffeinated beverages and snark at each other.

[sassimeggie-blog]

Eh, no thanks. They smell and are pretty much unusable anyways. They should've been retired ages ago. Ahhh, is that so? How goes therapy anyways?

You can have them, if you want. And its more like a strong suggestion from the shrink.

[sassimeggie-blog]

This is like the last two years of drunken nights together! They're memories you're just going to try to sell to some undeserving stranger? You wound me.

So, is this a part of your decision to like clean up your life or something?

You look really broken up about it, really. 

[sassimeggie-blog]

Where's the last place you saw the bear? That would probably make it easier to recall it.

Has anyone seen a teddy bear?

My little brother seems to have lost it while we were running errands and he is very distressed without it. 

[sassimeggie-blog]

... What crawled up your ass and died, blondie?

fuckin’ mongrel outsider, who does she think she is?

[sassimeggie-blog]

You actually own things in decent enough condition to sell? [pokes through with mild interest, pulling up a likely incomplete deck of cards that have clearly seen better days] Our drinking deck? I'm heartbroken, Michael, truly.

I’m having a yard sale. Getting down to just the bare necessities.