saturngreen11
saturngreen11
5'4" of condensed bastard
2K posts
they/them | minecraft | biology/ecology | talking to myself
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saturngreen11 · 4 hours ago
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“Permanently Changed,” Alex Krokus
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saturngreen11 · 4 hours ago
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Claiming he could easily fit into a similar position at most companies, local CEO Mike Waltke told reporters Monday that his skill set was transferable to any job that requires an inept dumbass to receive a big salary. “I have the incompetence necessary to effortlessly transition into a role at any company that yields a seven-figure income,” said Waltke, adding that as long as a business pays him millions of dollars a year, he’ll adapt quickly with his long resume of botching simple tasks and making stupid fucking decisions.
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saturngreen11 · 14 hours ago
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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.
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saturngreen11 · 15 hours ago
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saturngreen11 · 15 hours ago
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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.
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saturngreen11 · 17 hours ago
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We need to bring back free the nipple
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saturngreen11 · 17 hours ago
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saturngreen11 · 17 hours ago
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I'd still trust you with my life doctor tbh
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saturngreen11 · 21 hours ago
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trailer tomorrow 🥂
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saturngreen11 · 22 hours ago
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saturngreen11 · 22 hours ago
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okay
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saturngreen11 · 22 hours ago
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there is only one number who has ever ate another. there is only one number who has ever died. which one feels worse
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saturngreen11 · 22 hours ago
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"virgin" airlines? heh... not after I'm done with em...
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saturngreen11 · 23 hours ago
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I'm kind of obsessed with the way sheep are handled. So efficiently. It always looks kind of unpleasant at first and then you notice the sheep are fine with it. They're always being flipped upside down and rolled down a chute or some shit. A shepherd will be tossing that thang in the air and spinning it like pizza dough & the sheep just lets it happen
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saturngreen11 · 1 day ago
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So um I'm telling you this because I have to tell someone cuz wtf so like five months ago I started fucking this guy and like two weeks later his mom died and then I started fucking two other guys one was divorced and his x wife died last month and the other guy was married and in an open relationship and his wife just died last week very unexpectedly idk what to think right now tbh maybe I need to stop fucking old men I'm not good at talking about feelings and it was supposed to be casual sex and now I'm like everyone's emotional support twink idk how to handle this
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saturngreen11 · 1 day ago
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woah mama means family
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saturngreen11 · 1 day ago
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Saw some lady at the train station with a long flowing white skirt, walking a dog with a long flowing white fur, and they both were glowing equally in the contre-jour light of sunshine. Had to draw a rough sketch of them and then shittily shade it on my phone so I'll remember to try to draw them later.
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