Tumgik
saturnmortis · 10 hours
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i too have a pressing question: why are straights like this
156K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on
20K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
Stuff kids on tumblr better relearn
1. You are responsible for your own media experience. 
2. There is such a thing as a healthy level of avoidance towards topics that make you feel unwell or even (in a real-life clinical definition of the term) trigger you - but you are the one to actively take care of what you view.
3. Avoiding does not mean policing others.
4. You have no right to tell artists to censor themselves - you may criticize what others do, you may dislike it, that’s fine - but actively asking for censorship when you could easily unfollow or block a person just makes you look incompetent in your use of the internet.
5. Do not give people on tumblr or /any/ website the responsibility for your emotional well-being. Because these people do not even know you so no, you have no right to ask them to take care of you.
393K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao
81K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.
I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).
And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:
“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”
And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them
“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”
I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before
177K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
forgot the best part of death note, the american names written by someone who was just kind of guessing what american names sounded like. anyways rip to raye penber, arire weekwood, and lian zapack, average american men
84K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 11 hours
Text
every time i go out at night theres a monster
17K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 14 hours
Text
Tumblr media
18K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 14 hours
Text
don’t make me tap the sign
675 notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 14 hours
Text
More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here
158K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 14 hours
Text
post nut clarity does not properly convey the gravity of the pre nut insanity. like truly.
27K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 15 hours
Text
Tumblr media
My friend is organising for their family to evacuate Gaza.
Please share and contribute if possible!
7K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 16 hours
Text
people born in 24 Are 2000 now
21K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 16 hours
Text
The person I reblogged this from is awesome as fuck.
216K notes · View notes
saturnmortis · 16 hours
Text
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD BOB ROSS IS A GIFTED GOD I DREW ALONG TO HIS VIDEO IN MS PAINT AND
Tumblr media
HOW
Tumblr media
THE
Tumblr media
FUCK
Tumblr media
THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW PLEASE I ADVISE YOU GUYS TO DRAW ALONG WITH BOB ROSS IN MS PAINT IT IS AN EXPERIENCE I AM SO CONFUSED BUT PLEASED FUCKING DO IT
356K notes · View notes